Tuesday, August 17, 2010

That Last Frickin' Monkey

Hope's attorney and Bo come into the courtroom. Bo tells Hope there has been a change of plans, "We're going to Plan B since you are pleading guilty."

"What's plan B," asks Hope.

"I'm throwing a huge going away party at the pub right after they sentence you," says Bo, "Do you trust me?"

Brady visits Isabella's crypt, "Mom, I wish I'd known you. Then I'd have someone to remember. Sometimes I think if you were still here my life would be different."

EJ 'splains the birds and the bees to Sami. It appears he's ready to spread some pollen. He dives in.

Nicole and Rafe are drowning their sorrows at the Cheatin' Heart. Nicole thinks he may be wearing a wire. Rafe swears not but Nicole makes him stand up so she can pat him down. He stands up. Wafe wobbles but he won't fall down, "Don't you trust me?"

Nicole pats, "Do you know what the three biggest lies are? Your check is in the mail... you can trust me... and... WHOA!" They fall into each other's arms. Apparently the third biggest lie is, I didn't do that on purpose.

Nicole looks up at the hunk-a-lunk, "Do you mind if I hang around here for a minute or two?"

"All right by me," says Rafe. Nicole does more than hang. Rafe doesn't exactly hang back himself. They pry their lips apart and Rafe asks, "What was that?"

Arianna stands by their table, "Yeah, what was that?"

EJ and Sami spiral into the abyss of passion and begin to rumpus in the rumpus room.

Things heat up when suddenly...

JOHNNY!

Everything comes to a screeching halt. "No wonder tigers eat their young," says EJ.

Julie bawls out Bo for asking Hope to trust him. Doug tries to get a word in but he's no match for the verbal machine. Julie continues to rant, "If you wanna help her give her a reason to fight!"

Adrienne and Justin are at the pub talking about Hope's sentencing. Justin is clueless about why no one saw what was happening to Hope. He says it has made him think about his life with Adrienne and how great things used to be. "Where did we go wrong?"

"We married you."

Arianna's sanity has left the building, "Are you out of your freakin' mind?"

"Of course I'm out of my mind," says Rafe, "No one can live in a vacuum."

Arianna has her own personal Armageddon, "You are making out with the nutjob that destroyed my life and Brady's!" She turns to Nicole, "How do you get guys to fall into your arms?"

"Actually," says Nicole, "I fell into his."

Arianna continues to run off the rails. She tells Rafe he thinks he's dong this because it's all about Sami.

Sami is back in the non-rumpus room after putting Johnny to bed. It seems Johnny will be the only one in bed for a while. Sami picks up the laughing penguin and remembers Rafe finding it on the beach. EJ comes back all set to continue things, "Where were we?" He dives in again. Sami dives back but it's not long before her "Sami the tease" personality emerges and she backs off. EJ asks "What's wrong?"

Justin and Abe come into the courtroom. Judge Fitzpatrick takes the bench. Beverly Jenkins, the prosecutor, and Jeffery Shields, Hope's public defender, introduce themselves.

Judge Fitz asks how the defendant pleads. Jeffery starts to stand up.

The judge says, "I'd like to hear directly from the defendant."

Hope stands, "Yes, I'm guilty your honor."

Nicole reminds Arianna Sami isn't there. "Wanna bet," snorts Arianna. She turns to Rafe, "You're making out with the person Sami hates the most... in public... in the middle of the day. There is only one explanation."

"Right," says Rafe, "I'm as horny as a brass band on the Fourth of July." He flashes back to figuring out what was on the CD, "So put a sock in it."

Arianna says she thinks Rafe is trying to make Sami jealous. She goes for a drink. Nicole asks, "Is that true? Are you trying to make Sami jealous?"

Sami says nothing is wrong. Translation: everything is wrong. "Having Johnny show up was just bad timing," says Sami. Rumpusing ensues.

This time EJ calls it off, "We don't have to do this." Sami decides Johnny broke the mood. EJ pulls out a gun and blows the laughing penguin to kingdom come.

Arianna watches as Rafe apologizes to Nicole for what Arianna did. He says he and Sami are a lot like Nicole and Brady. Nicole agrees, "Complicated."

"Yeah," says Rafe, "Now the two of us are waiting at the curb like a pile of trash."

"Yeah," says Nicole, "I feel lost sometimes."

"Sami turned my life into a train wreck like Brady did you," says Rafe Arianna has had enough. She walks away from the bar.

"I was bad," says Nicole.

"Yeah," says Rafe, "You're bad. Who cares?"

"You," says Nicole, "You're perfect."

Rafe makes his point, "So, with that said, you can't believe what my sister says. I'm not stickin' it to Sami. That's not how I roll." He tells Nicole she's had enough booze and suggests getting out of there, "I'll get you back to your place safely." The sots stagger out. Arianna stares. Arianna leaves, too.

Sami says she knows they've talked about a formal wedding, "But what would you think about a traditional wedding night?"

"You mean waiting," asks EJ, "That's against the law in Salem, isn't it? Well, my job is to make sure all of your dreams come true."

Sami smiles, "EJ, you're perfect. Thank you." Hugs. Just hugs...

Out in the audience, the Ejamis express their opinion, "AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!"

Sami waiting for her wedding night is like the owner of a 1958 Edsel with 500,000 miles not wanting to drive it around the block for fear of putting too many miles on it.

Attorney Shields says he has added a few names to the witness list. The Fitzer is surprised they have included victims as character witnesses. Prosecutor Jenkins stands up, "Our deal with the defendant was firm — Ten years with time off for good behavior. Now that the defense is pulling this little trick, our offer is withdrawn."

Jeffrey objects but Hope refuses to change her plea.

Jenkins asks for the full sentence allowable under the law, "The prosecution wants 30 years without the possibility of parole." Jenkins rambles about what a nasty person Hope is. Julie freaks. Arianna comes in. Fitz asks attorney Shields if he has one good reason for leniency. Jeffrey stammers.

Justin stands, "I do, your honor."

Virginal, pure-as-the-driven-snow, never-touched-by-human-hands Sami is at the pub asking Pete if Caroline is around. She isn't, but let's face it, this was just an excuse to get Sami to the pub. She sees Brady drinking and goes over, "Is that a beer in your hand?"

"Is that an engagement ring in yours," slurs Brady.

Meanwhile, back at the DiMera mansion, EJ shivers in his cold shower.

Rafe and Nicole stumble to her door. Rafe smooches and suggests a nightcap. "Noooooo," says Nicole, "Nope-y-dope." Rafe asks why. "First," says Nicole, "You're not my type. Second, you don't want me."

Oh, good God, let's just move the Temple of the Vestal Virgins to Salem.

Justin is on the stand being a character witness for Hope. He confirms she is a real character. He says he doesn't think she should go free, "But, your honor, Salem needs Hope Brady to come back. Her family needs her. Her victims want her to receive the best possible treatment."

Abe takes the stand and talks about St. Hope, "I will be a victim again if my friend Hope is buried by the system. She is a victim in this herself." He steps down.

Sorry, but I have to take a break. I can't even see the keyboard through all the tears...

OK, I've composed myself...

Arianna asks for a chance to rantify. She takes the stand and paints Hope as a person not worthy of the ninth circle of hell, "You do the crime, you do the time."

Jeffrey leaps up, "But if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

Rafe says he doesn't know what he wants. He says he wanted Sami and a family but that got flushed down the toilet and the same has happened to Nicole. Nicole doesn't respond. Rafe consults the Guy Manual for advice, "Tell her to live in the moment."

"Live in the moment," says Rafe.

"That's good advice," says Nicole, "Come on in, it's nightcap time."

The Guy Manual — worth its weight in gold.®

Brady swills beer while Sami lectures him about sobriety.

"It's not cocaine," whines Brady, "It's a beer. I'm celebrating getting that last frickin' monkey off my back — Nicole. I'm done."

"I didn't know you were with her again," says Sami, "What did she do?"

"She lied."

STOP THE PRESSES! NICOLE LIED!

"Get that smirk off your face," says Brady, "you're no different. Your addiction isn't lies it's EJ DiMera. And lies. When you marry him you'll be in a lot worse place than prison."

Bo takes the stand. Hope begs him not to do this. Bo tells the judge he is as responsible as Hope is. He says they have had an amazing marriage but the kidnapping changed things, "We had some demons to deal with. I thought Hope had moved out forever and had moved on with her life, so I moved on with mine."

"How so," asks the Fitzeroo.

"By hooking up with a husband-murdering, home-wrecking tramp, of course," says Bo, "Hope's world fell apart, but I was sure having a good time. So to answer miss Hernandez about doing the crime, Hope was prescribed a pill that turned her world upside down. She did not buy and sell drugs. She was a victim. That should be reflected in her sentence. I want my wife to know, no matter what happens I will (say it with him) be there for you. Whatever you need I will (say it with him) be there for you." Hope cries.

Sami continues to lecture. Brady lectures back, "When I left town you were spoiled and rotten."

Sami humpfs, "Pot... kettle..."

"Then I came back," says Brady, "And you were better, but went back to being the same old Sami. You need to think about marrying EJ. I don't know why you are marrying him." He slams money onto the table, "Have a beer on me. You will need it." Brady storms out.

Nicole pours the nightcap. "You know what's weird," asks Rafe.

"The fact that I'm still standing?"

"We both care about Sydney," says Rafe. He gets a call from Sami and ignores it. Nicole is astonished that Mr. G-man would ignore a call. "FBI guys need a break, too," says Rafe. He sits on the bed and gives her the come-hither look. Nicole says this is weird and wonders if she's missing something. Rafe says, "No, I just wanted to be with an easy going, carefree, uncomplicated woman." Translation: "I'm looking for casual sex."

Nicole says, "You know, I've told a lie or two."

"I know," says Rafe, "But you don't pretend you don't lie. I like that." He says they have bumped heads before but he always felt like there was a little spark there.

"You like me," asks Nicole, "Why — because I'm not complicated?"

"No, because you're easy."

"Well," says Nicole, "you do have those eyes."

"Is it hard to believe that I like you?"

"Yes," she smiles, "So you are going to have to prove it."

"OOOO-KKKKK!"

Nicole gets down to business, "Take off your clothes."

The judge says the endless parade of character witness wore thin, but she realized Hope's guilty plea required a different opinion. She knows Hope isn't a hardened criminal, gives her two years and adjourns the court. It's hugs all around, "We're rid of you for two years!"

Bo says it's a new beginning and things will get better, "I'm sorry."

"I could have gotten 30 years but only got two. Why are you sorry," asks Hope.

"Because you could have gotten 30 years and only got two," says Bo.

Abe tells Hope to work on getting well and leaves. Justin hugs, tells her to take care and leaves. Doug and Julie tell her she will be home soon and they will be waiting for her. They leave. Hope says goodbye to Bo. "It's not goodbye," says Bo, "It's see you soon, Fancy Face."

Out in the audience, the Carbos start passing out the poisoned Kool Aid.

Sami is outside the pub leaving a message for Rafe, "Call me and you won't regret it." Translation — he will. Arianna comes by. Sami asks if she's seen her brother. Arianna tells her Rafe is probably at Nicole's place. Sami squeals, "I'll bet he's arresting her right now! I gotta see this!" She darts off.

Nicole says she senses hesitation, "Maybe you don't want me as bad as you think you do."

"Think again," says Rafe, "Then at least one of us will be thinking." Rafe strips down as Nicole bounces on the bed and smiles.


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16 Comments:

Anonymous Frustrated In Salem said...

A "traditional" wedding night with Sami Brady????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????
Why give us Ejami's some Ejami lovin? We have only been waiting over 2 years, now suddenly Sami would like to be "virginal" for EJ-the man she already has two children with, because she continues to pine away for Brillo-Brow. Give me a break, this is pure crap!!!!!! EJ would have better luck down at the docks. This poor leading man gets absolutely NO action- TPTB must really not like JS!

4:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was right : we have to have some Rafe flashback during an almost moment between Ej and Sami...sigh..whatever..but now please don't tell me they are "pimping" Ejami..they just make everything to destroy them...nice, really nice..if the show is about to be cancelled don't be surprised..

4:21 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I got to these two comments too late yesterday to do justice to a response:

Okay - confession time. How many of us read Saturday's Prevuze and then did a google search (or two) to try and learn more information about our gracious host/hostess? Unfortunately, that incident must have taken place before the explosion of the 24/7 news cycle reached the Internet...

and

I'll confess to thinking about it but I'll also confess to being too lazy to follow through. It would appear that Prevuze's secrets are secure for now.

Wingnut is correct. The event in question happened prior to the Internet news explosion. However, the sequel to which I alluded in the comments happened after that time and was well reported in the "tubes" so I didn't give many details. Sometimes it's best to, as they say, let sleeping dogs lie.

4:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!" Indeed! I'm so sick of this pimping of the puke-snot-drool fest known as "Safe"...Can't we for once have some Ejami interaction JUST ONCE without having some flashback of Snorebore the Magnificent. I've had it with this crummy show, I really have....

Also, Sami & the visitor from the Planet of the Apes (aka "Rafe") are like Bricole?! Hahahahahahahaha! NicNut (aka "Nicole")& Brady ACTUALLY have chemistry, the putrid whale entrails tripe known as "Safe" does NOT, besides they have NO history & they are DULL...In addition, Brady said it perfectly to Sami, she became a "good, better" person with Snorebore BUT that is NOT the REAL Sami.

5:15 AM  
Anonymous Frustrated in Salem said...

"Puke-snot-drool fest".......Priceless!!!!!!

5:45 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"What's plan B," asks Hope.

"I'm throwing a huge going away party at the pub right after they sentence you," says Bo.

Are all the Prevuzites invited?

There is only one explanation."

"Right," says Rafe, "I'm as horny as a brass band on the Fourth of July."

This calls for an elevator! Hold the condoms!

"Yeah," says Rafe, "You're bad. Who cares?"

"You," says Nicole, "You're perfect."

Make that a perfect ass. It amazes me that Nicole said that. She can’t believe it either, because Rafe’s raked her over the coals any number of times. Nicole is too young for short term memory loss, so she needs to consider being checked out for early onset Alzheimer’s. Geez!

Sami smiles, "EJ, you're perfect.”

Make that a perfect idiot. Prevuze is correct. Sami and high mileage are synonymous.

Ten years with time off for good behavior.

Yeah right. Try ten minutes with time served.

"First," says Nicole, "You're not my type. Second, you don't want me."

Oh, good God, let's just move the Temple of the Vestal Virgins to Salem.

Right on Prevuze!!! First Sami and now former porn star Nicole – as if!!!

Your addiction isn't lies it's EJ DiMera.

…and somehow that’s a problem?

Racole – an over the counter medication! LOL!! When Sami barges in on Rafe and Nicole, she’d better hope it’s available at her local drugstore. She can also pick up tissues for the Hope cry-a-thon. Before she makes her inglorious exit, Arianna certainly did get in her licks in on both Nicole and Hope. Since she is the sister of hunk-a-lunk/Brillo-Brow (good ones Prevuze and Frustrated In Salem!), Arianna should have known that Agent 00zero was pimping himself out to get something besides a booty call from Nicole. It’s a tough job, but self-sacrificing Rafe volunteered to do it. However, Arianna’s piece de resistance was speaking up at Hope’s trial. You go girl!!!

Stephanie plays Farmville! Who knew? Too bad Stephanie – that means that you’ve been unfriended by Prevuze!! Have a great Farmville-free day everyone!

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Luci said...

WTF is going on with Sami? Why the hell is she calling Rafe? I am not a fan of this cheating Sami. Love the one you're with or end it and move on.

Ugh, Im just so frustrated with this SL. Sami is really killing me right now.

6:02 AM  
Anonymous Purple Crayon said...

Do the writers not realize that in their endless pimping of Safe they're destroying Sami?

Soon the only fans Sami will have left are Safe fans.

Who would have thought boring Rafe would be the death of such a great character as Sami.

6:15 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

I realize it would have meant using another set (heaven forbid the cost), but if EJami were up in the bedroom area of the house, why didn’t he just pick Sami up and take her to his/her bedroom after putting Johnny to bed? Why haul back down to the rumpus room? Talk about losing momentum.

"The prosecution wants 30 years without the possibility of parole."

As nice as it would be to actually see a soap “heroine” actually pay for her crimes, the 30 years without possibility of parole does seem a tad harsh. Even stone-cold killers have to do several heinous acts of perversion to get a sentence with no possibility of parole. On the other hand, this IS Hope we’re talking about. So, never mind.

Oh, good God, let's just move the Temple of the Vestal Virgins to Salem.

LMAO - You find all this a little far-fetched, Prevuze? Join the crowd.

Loved the Ejaminium picture and Stephanie's Access Denied. I actually thought that caption was going to refer to her inability to get to Prevuze, but the Farmville reference was even better.

Looking forward to that moment Sami bursts in on Rafole who have, no doubt, not locked the door. It's a classic soap moment, but it never gets old. LOL

Prevuze, you were in fine form this morning. Thanks!

6:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Things come to a screeching halt. 'No wonder tigers eat their young,' says EJ"...LOL Prevuze! With Sami around EJ should have the plumbing thoroughly inspected at the DiMera mansion! He will be taking a lot of cold showers it seems...

"Sami turned my life into a train wreck ..." That's what Sami does best! When she was a little girl she must'av picked up the wrong book...instead of the "gal manual" she read the "guy manual" cover to cover. No wonder she's so screwed up!

"But what would you think about a traditional wedding night?"...A first is a first! Poor EJ...he better go re-inspect the plumbing!

"First," says Nicole, "You're not my type. Second, you don't want me."...Ahhh, I see Nicole HAS read her "gal manual" recently. She should have read it a long time ago. It would have spared EJ a lot of heartache...

"Oh, good God, let's just move the Temple of the Vestal Virgins to Salem"...fear not Prevuze! Just like Solomon's Temple this one is bound to fall once it moves to Salem, only to be replaced by a state of the art paternity clinic run by Dr. Manning & Co. With gals like Chloe, Stephanie, and Nicole around, the clinic would surely thrive.

"You do the crime, you do the time."...NO you don't if your name is "fancy face" and your husband is the Police Commisioner!

"Rafe says...he wanted Sami and a family but that got flushed down the toilet and the same has happened to Nicole"...Such a relief to know that Rafe is so gifted, with his advanced algebra skills n'all...the difference is that Nicole coveted what Sami had...she kind'a flushed herself down her own toilet!

"It's not cocaine," whines Brady, "It's a beer."...Spoken like a true addict! Better get back to your 12 step Brady! For an addict to replace a substance with another is just as bad! You should just stick to doing Nicole...she's got NO substance!

"No, I just wanted to be with an easy going, carefree, uncomplicated woman." Got her right Rafe! you're a genuine genius! Oh lookey...it even stands for his initials GG...oh my, what creativity we drummed up this morning! That 2nd cup of coffe must have kicked in for me :)

"Well," says Nicole, "you do have those eyes."...LMFAO!!! Better take the disk and run Rafe! some STD's are still hard to cure even with today's advanced medicine.

OMG! LOVED the Racole cough drops...Thanks Prevuze, many of us might need to borrow the bag if I have to see Racole making out! Here's proof that our HS teachers were wrong...learning advanced algebra did NOT improve Rafe's IQ! Have a nice day everyone!

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I can understand Hope's lawyer Darryl** lamenting having to be her attorney. Talk about being drug into a circus. **did he bring his other brother Darryl along?

The judge says the endless parade of character witnesses wore thin I'm sure even more so for the audience!

Sami is outside the pub leaving a message for Rafe, "Call me and you won't regret it." Face it, folks, makeout sessions with EJ must not be all that exciting if they drive her to flashbacks about a stuffed penguin and she rushes out to call someone else.

LOL over "Because you could have gotten 30 years and only got two," says Bo. And I wonder how I could get restricted access to Farmville? What a nuisance. HAHAHA

Excellent Prevuze and pictures today. Thanks!

8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This episode is just one big string of WTF moments.

Honestly!

Rafe + Nicole - seems really contrived. Also, I'm going to vomit.

The fact that Sami doesn't want to do the hokey-polky with EJ, um. . . no.

Sami-Rafe flashback during EJ hotness - ugh.

Sami somehow deciding to go to the Pub, then somehow finding out where Rafe is after he somehow hooked up with Nicole. . . I'll share some of that Kool Aid with the Carbo fan section of the audience.

4 years of my wishful Ejamidom about to go down the toilet and we don't even get one night of passionate Rafe-less Ejami sex???

Oh for crying out loud!

My biggest gripe though is the fact that Sami is becoming a character I can't stand. She was basically my biggest reason for getting hooked on the show about 6-7 years back. I still think Alison Sweeney is great, but this new insecure, cheating, Rafe-loving emotional blob of goo is not making me want to stay tuned. Rafe, you may "love" Sami, but just so you know, you also have killed her soul. Just saying.

Also, yay for incarcerated Hope!

8:14 AM  
Anonymous CJ said...

I guess Sami can't cheat on the one she love!

LOL!

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah CJ she could not cheat on Austin : the man she loves ! lol

9:13 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

When I read: I'm not stickin' it to Sami. That's not how I roll."

All I could think was: I am stickin' it to EJ. That IS how I roll."

LOL

12:44 PM  
Blogger LeeLeigh said...

Applecheeks, I apologize for yesterday. I just have so much on my mind. you know, all those letters I've written, never meaning to send...

ewwwww, the thought of Nicole & Rafe just turns my stomach. Where can I buy some of those Racole drops? I've check all my local drugstores and no one carries them. Prevuze,I don't mind cheesy product placements, but you should pick things that are widely available...

:)

4:50 PM  

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