Saturday, May 22, 2010

A Salute To The Women Of The Indianapolis 500

Live from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, your intrepid sports reporter Prevuze salutes the women of the Indianapolis 500.

It's the "Year of the Woman" at the Greatest Spectacle in Racing as ABC's Robin Roberts drives the pace car next week to start the Indy 500. It will be the 99th anniversary of the first race, held back in 1911. In years past, women have not even been allowed in the pits at the venerable track, but this year, in many respects, it's all about the women.

When the green flag drops on May 30, the world famous race may see up to five women, and maybe even a sixth surprise qualifier running. We salute those incredible women with a special tip o' the hat to Salem's own Stephanie Johnson, winner and sole champion of the only Dayton 500 Race ever run. Best wishes to them all as they attempt to make history and qualify today.

* * *

Dear Prevuze Advisor:

Do you think a woman really can win this year's Indianapolis 500 Mile race?


P.S. Just for the record, I used to live in Salem but have moved to London. I've done some racing myself and would really like to see Stephanie Johnson win this year's race since I happen to know her pretty well. Actually I know her quite well. In the Biblical sense, in fact, but that's really none of your business, so stop prying and just answer my question please.

Dear Max:

The Indianapolis 500 is so long and so grueling, anything can happen. Any one of the 33 starters has some chance to win, even if remote. Having said that, the victory usually goes to a team with big bucks and top-notch equipment. While five of these women may have the talent to run with the pack, most analysts agree only Danica Patrick has the team and the equipment. She has been just a bit slower than expected in practice and is not considered to be one of the top favorites to win.

If, however, whining, sniveling, having a complete lack of self respect, an affinity for dating uncles and being a few gears short of a transmission meant anything, I'd go with your gal Stephanie.

The Prevuze Advisor

Before I wrap up this report, I'll leave you with a few side notes. First, we want to wish those great race drivers Max and EJ well as they attempt to make this race.*

*That's Max Papis and EJ Viso. Who did you think I was talking about?

Secondly, if you're not aware, we've run into the likes of Ali Sweeney and Peter Reckell here at Indy. I'm not sure they're coming this year, but we'll keep our eyes peeled for them.

Finally, just to show Prevuze' male readers I haven't completely forgotten about them, I'd like to salute the OTHER women here at the Indy 500:

Indy — the one big-time venue where the gals compete on an even footing with the guys... no gimmes... no ladies tees... no handicaps... just straight competition... and sometimes beat their pants off. Hope you have a good weekend. I'm gonna go watch the cars go zoom.

Prevuze - Best sports blog on the Internet®

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Anonymous Bulldog said...

HAHAHAHAA I remember now, the "Daton 500". While you're over there checking the Indy race why not go over to Daton and see what's happening at that one too? ;P

Can you imagine? Supposed "world class racers" Max, EJ and Steponme giving up that life for Salem? I mean come on!

Good luck in your travels and enjoy the race. We'll keep our fingers crossed Norris has your satellite stuff set up correctly. I'm afraid a week without Prevuze would send me into a Chloe-like whinefest not to be believed.

Happy weekend everyone.

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Thanks for the Saturday morning recap Prevuze. I'm sure we're the only blog who'd be rooting for team Stephanie. And since her winning chances are about 0 to none(coincidentally, that's as good as her chances to hook Nathan are) I say go for it!

7:29 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Stephanie's car really looks choice. Is Prevuze saying that top-notch piece of racing equipment isn't up to Indy 500 snuff?

Well, we can only hope for the best.

Do the female Prevuzites a favor will you, Prevuze? Next Saturday how about some pictures of the male hotties at the race?

And, by "hotties" I don't mean the grungy, sweaty guys down in the Snake Pit or out in the Coke Lot with beer bellies hanging over their belts, ogling the ladies, waving signs reading "Show Us Your B**bs!"

Knowing Prevuze warped sense of humor I just wanted to clarify that. hahahaha

Have a great trip and, Prevuze, as soon as the race is over, Start Your Engine and get back to the Prevuze compound! Like Bulldog, days without Prevuze could easily drive me to drugst. (word verification)

9:34 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

I'm sure we're the only blog who'd be rooting for team Stephanie... to crash and end up in a permanent coma à la Jan Spears? Noooo! I am certainly not that morbid...

Since all sports are equally boring, I'm going to spend the day walking around and/or watching Doctor Who. Probably the latter.

Supposed "world class racers" Max, EJ and Steponme giving up that life for Salem?

Have faith Bulldog, I'm sure Chelsea, Sami and Nathan are worth it. And I say this with the utmost seriousness. :D

9:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With Belle and WhatHisName there to cheer on #32, Steph might win.

5:22 AM  

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