Monday, January 25, 2010

Payback's A Bitch

We open up in Bo and Hope's living room. Carly brings hors o'dourves of some kind to Phillip and Melanie. Phillip goes in to check on Bo in the kitchen while Carly and Melanie share a somewhat uncomfortable moment. Carly wonders if she should have pushed this dinner party. "It's a little weird but it's not bad," says Melanie, "You're my mom and you're in my life and that's good, right?"

"You have no idea what that meas to me," says Carly, "I have never been this happy."

Vivian walks in the front door holding a pistol with a silencer on it.


Melanie hits the floor with blood seeping out her back. The cheering audience nearly drowns out the remainder of the dialogue. Carly whimpers, "No."

Vivian sneers, "Payback's a bitch!" If that's true, I guess I should say... Payback stares at Payback. Carly runs to Melanie's aid.

A knock at the door wakes Carly and ends her nightmare. She gets up and finds Justin at the door, "Bo isn't here."

"I didn't come to see Bo," says Justin, "I came to talk to you." And we can rest assured that they will talk until WE are blue in the face.

Phillip joins Victor in the den. Phillip says he wants to talk about Vivian, "Are you in love with her." Victor chokes and spews his drink across the room.

Vivian stands in Maggie's kitchen and she is on the phone with Gus. He tells her they got the date of birth, "It's the same as Melanie's. She's Dr. Manning's daughter."

Melanie walks in and overhears, "Who are you talking to about me?"

Sami picks thins up in her apartment and — here's the breaking news of the century — broods. She flashes back to her argument with Rafe. Rafe returns. Cold stares ensue.

Stefano discovers the medicine bottle as EJ walks in. Stefano holds it up like it's the Statue of Libery's torch, "What are you doing with a medicine bottle for an infant?"

Vivian stammers and says she is planning a surprise.

"Then why do you look so freaked out," asks Melanie. Vivian immediately changes the subject, says it looks like Melanie's necklace is coming loose and steps behind her to inspect it.

Roman tells Arianna she has to go back to prison tonight. Brady wonders if there isn't something they can do. Roman says it's out of his hands. Brady turns to Arianna, "In that case, how about we run to the back room for your first conjugal visit?"

Rafe says he came by to tell Sami there is no news about Sydney. Sami says she feels terrible about what she said. "It's the truth," says Rafe, "Sydney isn't my kid."

"Maybe not," says Sami, "But you've (say it with her) been there for me and I wouldn't even know she was my daughter if it weren't for you. I lashed out at you when you've (say it with her) been there for me and I'm sorry."

"I think you just told me what is in your heart," says Rafe, "I can't make decisions.. you don't trust me."

"I trust you with my whole heart."

"I think deep down you really don't," says Rafe.

Brady uncorks and lets Roman have both barrels. Roman whoas him up and tells him to back off, "I get that you are mad but this situation could get worse for both of you."

Arianna asks where she is going. Roman grunts, "Statesville."

"I'm gonna be locked up with Nicole," whines Arianna, "At least she can introduce me to her new friends."

Sami sobs at Rafe, "I trust you with my life. I trust you with my kids' lives."

Rafe drones, "But you didn't. Not this time. Not with the ransom note."

"I was scared," whines Sami.

Rafe shoves the knife in deeper and twists it, "Those ransom letters were the best shot the FBI had at getting Sydney. If you had told me we might have her back now. You trust EJ more than me."

Sami turns on the waterworks, "I hear you — if we don't get Sydney back it's my fault."

Gabi shows up at the door and interrupts the festivities, "Rafe I really have to talk to you." Sami invites her in and goes to a back room so they can have some privacy.

Gabi chokes it out, "Arianna... that creepy guy Troy attacked her and she's going back to prison tonight."

Rafe's brain cell goes into action, "Oh, no, she's not." They run out.

Sami comes out and finds the room empty, "Oh, great." She huffs, grabs her coat and runs out the door.

EJ stammers around and claims Stefano is making a mountain out of a molehill.

"This is no molehill," insists Stefano, "This is about Sydney, isn't it?" You know where she is."

"If I knew," lies EJ, "I would be with her and not with you."

Stefano asks, "What the hell is going on?"

EJ says, "That bottle is none of your business."

"I'm afraid you are very wrong about that, Elvis."

Melanie thinks Vivian is acting weird. Vivian says she has something to tell her, "I know I'm calm on the outside but I'm a little emotional. There is a maelstrom inside me." She imagines killing Carly.

Melanie wrinkles her brow, "You look like you want to kill."

"Not you," says Vivian.

"Well, that's good to know."

Justin tells Carly this situation isn't right. Carly reminds him she doesn't live there. Justin says it doesn't matter where she lives, but the fact is she has moved back into Bo's life.

"There was a vacancy," says Carly.

"You came back here to bag Bo and everyone knows that," says Justin, "Most mistresses try at least to cover things up out of respect for the wife."

Carly gets sarcastic, "I didn't know I was talking to the moral police."

"This is about decency," says Justin, "Couldn't you have kept a lid on it?"

"Hope figured it out."

"Because you were at Maggie's house," shouts Justin, "You knew everyone would be there."

"I didn't know Hope would be there."

Carly flashes back to Melanie saying her parents are dead. Justin wants to know why she went to Maggie's house. Carly says it was to offer her condolences.

Justin is skeptical, "I can imagine how bad Lawrence was, but I think living with you had something to do with it."


Phillip helps Victor to a chair as Vic chokes and sputters. Phillip offers to call the doctor. Victor has a laughing fit, "What — do you think I'm walking around with a tinfoil hat on my head? Right... we are in love. In Vivian land, that is, which is way over the rainbow.

"Well," says Phillip, "Melanie said Vivian told her you and her were going to accompany us on our honeymoon."

Victor chuckles, "Think of the bridge games we can have." Phillip has lost his sense of humor. Victor settles down, "I will make it clear to Vivian that we will not be going with you, but she'll be disappointed. Melanie I mean."

Phillip doesn't think that's funny, either. "Lighten up," chortles Victor, "You're getting married. You don't have to worry about Vivian. Having to worry about Melanie is a different story, however."

Justin reels. He shakes his head and puts a hand to his cheek where Carly walloped him, "Well you've at least kept in shape." Carly rants. Justin figures maybe dealing with Lawrence has changed Carly. She spews sarcasm and says she wishes she could be as noble and selfless as Justin, "That county I was in had moral police but the one sin that didn't bother them was hypocrisy. That is the one sin I can't stand."

"That doesn't surprise me," says Justin, "Obviously adultery wasn't the one sin you couldn't stand."

Carly thinks he's being just a bit holier-than-thou, "You were just coiled up in a corner waiting to comfort Hope. Adrienne must be so proud that she married such a decent, caring jerk."

Arianna wonders how it will feel for Brady to have two girlfriends in Statesville. Before Brady can answer, SuperRafe walks in to stave the day.

EJ and Stefano argue. EJ says he no longer trusts Stefano. Stefano says he thinks EJ should, "If you don't cooperate I'll go to Roman and tell him about the medicine." EJ claims the meds are Johnny's. Stefano doesn't believe him. Suddenly, about forty people walk into the room. Oops. Check that, it's just Sami with all of her personalities.

Maggie is in the kitchen with Melanie. Melanie has had a rare thought, "Women are complicated."

"You've been reading the Guy Manual again, haven't you," asks Maggie, "Imagine saying that after talking to Vivian."

"She said she was here to see you, but I think she was here to see me," says Melanie.

"Kate did the same thing to me," says Maggie.

"I guess that's better than trying to poison somebody," says Melanie, "I don't know what Kate is doing but Phillip loves her even though he wishes she didn't." Maggie advises her not to try to fix things for Kate and Phillip. Melanie vows not to. She also says she can't figure out what Vivian is up to.

Gus and Vivian are at the dock. Gus shows her the records on Melanie. "Fate can be so cruel," says Vivian, "I thought Carly's daughter would be someone I would enjoy eliminating. I remember burying her. It was so... satisfying."

"This isn't the time to relive the past, Madame."

"Right," says Vivian, "I have to think of Lawrence and be strong. Melanie is just a pawn and pawns are meant to be sacrificed."

Justin reminds Carly he hasn't acted* on his feelings for Hope. Then he lectures her for acting* on her feelings.

*Webster's lists several definitions for the verb "to act." Even in light of that, the dictionary apparently needs to be updated and expanded to include monkey sex among those definitions.

"Your feelings for Bo aren't real," says Justin, "Hope's are."

Oops. He played right into Carly's hand, "So real she left the house?" Justin gives her a parting shot and starts to leave.

Brady asks Roman if there isn't something he can do. Roman tells him not to use his Kiriakis connections. Brady goes over and tells Arianna this isn't right. He tells her he's going to call Victor. Arianna doesn't want him to.

Rafe storms past Roman, "This isn't over."

EJ tosses the meds at Sami, "He thinks this is for Sydney."

Sami backs him up, "It's Johnny's. He choked on a pill last week and I've been giving his meds through eye droppers." Stefano halfheartedly accepts that and walks out.

EJ sighs, "I'm sorry about you and Rafe."

"I don't want to talk about it," says Sami.

"Did hell freeze over," asks EJ.

Sami asks bout Sydney. EJ tells her he hasn't heard anything. "I just don't want to be alone," whines Sami.

That gets EJ's attention, "Alone?"

"Rafe and I aren't seeing eye to eye." That's like saying the Tunguska event was a loud pop.

"I'm sure he's pretty angry right now," says EJ, "Maybe we should have told him."

"No," says Sami, "You were right. The minute the FBI got involved things went to... we don't know if we'll ever hear from the kidnappers again."

EJ says it's important that they are on the same page working together. Sami wants that too. He says he will talk to Rafe and take the blame. Sami says she doesn't want that. "If you and Rafe break up over this that would be awful," says EJ.

Uh, oh. Trouble in the audience. A crazed Ejami fan stands up and shouts, "SHUT YO' MOUTH!" They haul her out and the show continues.

Roman comes back and tells Arianna it's time to go.

Rafe and Tim walk along the pier. Rafe gives him instructions, "The message should be delivered calmly. It's in his best interest — Arianna gave him Troy and fulfilled her end of the bargain. He should spin this case like it was a success or I will say it was a failure and all his idea."

"Sounds like a threat," says Tim, "He's vindictive and doesn't think twice about throwing his weight around."

In spite of his objections, Tim goes off to do Rafe's bidding, "Life would be so dull if I didn't know you." Wow. It sounds like if Tim's life were any more dull he'd be dead.

Maggie says she's going back to bed. "Knock on my door anytime," says Melanie.

Maggie caresses her cheek, "A young face but an old soul. Thank you for (say it with her) being here for me." Hugs. Maggie leaves. And... continuing the nonstop action... Phillip shows up. He suggests they go get something to eat. Melanie says she can't go because she is worried about Maggie. "We'll go to 'Plan B,'" says Phillip.

Vivian wanders into the den. Jovial Victor asks if she's OK. Vivian hands him the envelope, "Once you read this you won't be laughing for a long time."

Arianna and Gabi hug. Mike the cop comes up and cuffs Arianna. She stares at Brady, "I'm sorry..."

The Funeral March Of The Marionette plays in the background as they haul Arianna off to the Big House...


Roman walks in, "Take the cuffs off, Mike I just got a phone call from an angry DEA agent. You've been given a stay."

"I'll take her home," offers Brady, "Leave the cuffs on. So, what happened?"

"Rafe happened," says Roman. Oh the joy!

Vivian shows Victor the contents of the envelope, "Read it and weep."

Victor reads, "OMG!"

"That's right," says Vivian, "Mia is not Carly's daughter. Melanie is... and Phillip is marrying her."

"Good," says Victor, "He'll be a lot happier with Carly than he would with Melanie."

Phillip and Melanie sit in Maggie's kitchen eat leftovers. They talk about Maggie and Melanie tells him Vivian was there earlier, "She's really interested in my background."

Victor suggests Vivian think about what happened to Kate. He reminds her after she pulled her little stunt with Chloe, Phillip banished her. Vivian thinks Victor might be threatening and tells him she likes Melanie, "Now I have to rethink getting back at Carly."

Justin tells Carly in the past she wasn't the kind of person who hurt people. Carly tells him to run to Hope for comfort.

"I just don't know why you are back," says Justin. He leaves.

Carly drones, "No one can know why I'm back. No one can know about me."

Vivian says, "If I don't kill Melanie, can I just tell Carly I did?"

"You remember when you buried Carly alive," asks Victor.

"Of course."

"How'd that work out for ya," asks Dr. Phil.

"Now I'm back to square one," says Vivian, "Kill Carly — So anticlimactic."

EJ hugs Sami and vows to get Sydney back. Stefano stands in the door of the rumpus room and watches, "What are you really up to, son of mine?"

The Ejamis yell in unison...


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

*Webster's lists several definitions for the verb "to act." Even in light of that, the dictionary apparently needs to be updated and expanded to include monkey sex among those definitions.

I'm sure Webster doesn't have the complete definition for starfish either...

5:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Life would be so dull if i didn't know you" LMFAO Tim you totally cracked me up !! Poor poor Tim, what a life guy !! lolllllllllll

5:14 AM  
Blogger Firstfall said...

I gotta admit I agree about Tim, and until now thought my life was dull!

5:53 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Melanie hits the floor with blood seeping out her back. The cheering audience nearly drowns out the remainder of the dialogue.

Boy oh boy!! That’s one maudlin funeral I wouldn’t zap through.

"What are you doing with a medicine bottle for an infant?"

As the bottle appears to be an over-the-counter medication, it could be for Johnny. Is medicine for a toddler different than for a four year old? Since I’m child-free, it would seem logical that the weight of the child would determine the dosage. EJ could have done a better cover up job.

Roman tells Arianna she has to go back to prison tonight.

Good riddance.

Arianna asks where she is going. Roman grunts, "Statesville."

Hmmm – hard time in the big house. Next time, Arianna should commit a white collar crime so she can score a nice cushy Martha Stewart prison stay.

Arianna wonders how it will feel for Brady to have two girlfriends in Statesville.

Brady would be getting two conjugal visits in one trip. What more could a guy want - except maybe a ménage e trios?

Suddenly, about forty people walk into the room. Oops. Check that, it's just Sami with all of her personalities.

So true, so true!!!

"I'll take her home," offers Brady, "Leave the cuffs on.”


"Rafe happened," says Roman. Oh the joy!

…so the Rafester is able to stop Arianna from going back to prison. If he can pull that many strings, it’s amazing that she managed to find herself in jail at all. With his little sleight of hand trick, Rafe can’t be ingratiating himself with Roman. Perhaps Rafe has forgotten that Roman is Sami’s father.

Bulldog – maybe a thin mint or two would improve Hope’s mood!! Prevuze thanks for the super duper Monday morning pick me up!!!

6:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My question is why doesn't Sami question the medicine bottle? Wouldn't she wonder why EJ is carrying around medicine for Johnny since Johnny isn't staying with him?

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

My 'HUH?' moment #1: that Rafe - fired-then-just-recently-rehired-should-be-low-man-on-the-totem-pole-in-seniority-Rafe has the clout to tell Tim what to do or threaten the DEA. Come on!!

'HUH?" #2: didn't they say Arianna had been in prison back in West Virginia or someplace like that? If so, wouldn't that be where she'd have to go back to?

'HUH?" #3: the sudden animosity on Justin's part toward Hope. Although I'll give this one a pass, who isn't sick of her by now?

I wish Prevuze had given us a moving picture of Victor's spit-take. Can't wait to see if it really covers the room. Not that Prevuze would exaggerate or anything. HAHAHAHA

Leslie - Hope needing a thin mint. LOL

Loved Arianna blurting out everything in front of Troy and "forty people walk into the room. Oops. Check that, it's just Sami with all of her personalities."

Thanks for the Monday morning cheer, Prevuze! :D

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would an informant that had tried to do everything she was asked not be allowed to stay free anyway. She didn't call it off, the cops did. She was more than willing to complete the job.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Victor chokes and spews his drink across the room.

Vic, I know what that feels like. Happens regularly while reading Prevuze. HA

The Anonymouses (Anonymi?) before and after Bulldog had great and valid points. Just two more gaping holes in the illogic of these DOOL storylines.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Must give a shout-out to the great pictures and captions. I particularly loved "Bo-Ho". Cute little nickname for Carly.


3:37 PM  

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