Thursday, February 26, 2009

Somebody's Been Reading Cosmo

Sami comes into Lucas' hospital room and goes into her usual blithering and panicking routine. Lucas asks where her baby is, but with Sami, babies are a dime a dozen, so she refuses to answer his questions until he tells her what happened and why he is in the hospital.

Victor hears Phillip leave his sniveling suck-up message for Stephanie and accuses him of begging, "That's hardly attractive for a man. Throw her out on her ass."

Kate wants to have a little chat with Chloe. Guess what the subject is.

Hope arrives at the cop shop. She tells one of the nosy officers she's just there to deliver a file from a case she was working on. The officer is dumbfounded to discover she was actually working.

Nicole lectures and tells EJ if she leaves she will take Sydney with her. EJ calls her bluff, flings the door open and tells her to hit the road.

Lucas tells Sami about the gas explosion. He says he doesn't remember what he was doing at Daniel's apartment, because he was drunk.

Nicole turns on the waterworks and accuses EJ of not caring. EJ says he loves her and only asked her to leave because she keeps threatening him. Nicole tells him she has a hard time controlling her insecurities.

Phillip mocks Victor, "The advice about women just keeps on coming. At least I haven't lost count of the number of times I've been married."

Victor growls, "If you kowtow to Stephanie you'll lose her respect."

"I'm not towing to the cow," insists Phillip.

"Men do strange things for love," says Victor, "Look at Lucas."

"Lucas does strange things with or without love," says Phillip.

"He gave up years of sobriety for some airhead bitch who's only claim to fame is she can carry a tune," says Victor.

"Up until you said something about being able to carry a tune, I thought you were talking about Chloe," says Phillip, "I wish you'd lay off Chloe. I remember your statement at Christmas about 'everyone has marrow.' You probably thought that made sense."

"I always make sense," says Victor, "It's you who has your head up your a... if you want any woman make sure you maintain your position of power over her."

Kate flashes back to the face-suck-fest and thanks Chloe because she and Daniel saved her life, "I will never forget what you and Daniel did. It's seared into my memory."

Back to the bullring of Nicole's insecurity known as the DiMera mansion; EJ softens, "Ever since we first made love... I think we were meant to be together."

Sami can't believe Lucas fell off the wagon. She grills him about what made him start drinking, "It was Ghoul Girl, wasn't it? What did she do to you? I can't believe that bitch. Brady had to numb himself with drugs to live with her."

Lucas changes the subject, "The last time I saw you, you were pregnant. Obviously, you're not pregnant any more."

"What tipped you off," asks Sami.

"Well," says Lucas, "Your butt's still... uh... full figured, but your stomach looks a little smaller."

Bo thinks Hope used a lame excuse to come to the station, "You... doing work... that's ridiculous. I think you came here because you miss me."

"I do miss you," says Hope, "But we all know I'm a bad shot."

Chloe says, "I want to be with Lucas more than anything."

Kate drips with insincerity, "And why is that, Chloe?"

"Because Daniel isn't available right now."

Nicole tries to gather her thoughts. She uses a small container. EJ gets impatient with her moodiness. Nicole thinks he wants to reconnect with Sami.

Lucas asks about the baby. Sami gasps, "You mean you're supposed to keep them? Well, in this case, that wasn't a problem. The baby was stillborn."

Phillip runs into Stephanie at the pub. They share some small talk and Stephanie tells him, "I'm here to pick up some dinner for Mom and Dad."

Phillip is confused, "You mean invisible people still have to eat?"

"I got your message," says Stephanie, "I'm not sure what it meant. Do you still think we can overcome our differences?"

Phillip asks, "You mean the fact that I'm a rich, successful, young, upcoming business executive and war hero and you're a has-been race driver who's struggling to get through college, has clawed her way up to being a coffee-carting intern, has had her most meaningful relationship with her uncle and has slept with every gearhead from LeMans to Indianapolis?"

"That," says Stephanie, "Plus the fact that we can't even agree on Chez Rouge or Buddy's Burgers for dinner."


Chloe says she realizes more than ever that she loves Lucas, "But it's like the bumper sticker says, 'things happen.'"

Kate corrects her, "I believe the bumper sticker actually says, '&#)@$! happens.'"

"I'm not a great speller," says Chloe, "but I never realized DOOL is spelled '&#)@$!.'"


Kate wonders what those things are. Chloe evades and says all she wants is a future with Lucas. Kate tells her she is soooo happy to hear Chloe say that, "There is just one little thing I am wondering about... at the time of the explosion, what were you doing at Daniel's apartment?"

"Daniel."

What do you know, Sami doesn't want to talk about her stillborn daughter. Lucas offers his condolences. Sami begs, "Please make sure that no one ever finds out that I was pregnant – especially EJ."

Nicole twiddles chess pieces as EJ rants because she is begrudging him being concerned with Sami and her kids. Nicole comes out of left field and says her feelings are bubbling to the surface because he tried to take on the Kiriakis family. She nukes and says she is scared because EJ won't protect her and their family, "I'm having nightmares about this."

"That's normal," says EJ, "Any dream about DOOL would be a nightmare."

Lucas promises not to tell anyone about the baby, but reminds her secrets have a way of coming out. Sami reminds him he can keep his big trap shut and things will be fine. Telling Lucas to keep his trap shut is like telling a black hole to stop sucking things in. Sami rants about Lucas' trip off the wagon and the slut he's engaged to. She advises him to wise up and get rid of her.

Chloe says, "I was just in Daniel's neighborhood and I saw Lucas go in and decided to follow him. Then when he left I would tell Daniel I just dropped in and ask to borrow a cup of afternoon delight."

Kate asks if Chloe has any idea what Lucas was doing there. Chloe bats her eyes, "None at all." Chloe promises she won't let Lucas get away from her.

Hope says she misses Bo, but that's not why she is there. Then she backpedals and says bringing that folder in really was an excuse, "I knew no one would believe I really was doing work. I said I needed to be on my own but haven't stopped loving you – and I also wouldn't want to have to take the garbage out myself."

Did you know that right now... yes right NOW, the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter is aligned with Mars? You probably thought this signifies the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, but you would only be partially right. It's real significance is that the rarest of events occurs: Bo actually grows a pair. Mark the date.

Bo rants, "You say you love and miss me and you want me near you but you don't let me near you. You push me out of your life. What do you want me to feel here, sorry for you? Well I do feel sorry for you... and guilt-ridden and sympathetic and lonely as hell. This isn't what you wanted. You don't want me near you so why don't you have some sympathy for me get out of my sight? Not only will that make it more quiet around here, but maybe I can keep my lunch down."

Hope pouts, "You've never spoken to me like that before. I know that for sure because... you're still alive."

Hope turns to leave. The moon exits the seventh house and Jupiter gives Mars the big brush off. Life returns to normal. The real Bo comes back. Bo the eunuch, as we affectionately think of him. He rushes to the door, stops her from leaving and apologizes for sassing. Then Hope apologizes. Then we have several rounds of of apologizapalooza. "I know," says Hope, "You were just trying to protect me. I've hurt you very badly and I wasn't being compassionate."

Bo is near tears, "I wanted to (say it with him) be there for you and help you through this."

"I know," says Hope, "If you had just told me..."

Bo stops her and they decide not to go over it again. Together, they toss the dead horse out the window and fall into each other's arms. "I want to come home," whines Hope.

Phillip says, "When I left that message, I wasn't thinking."

"Happens a lot doesn't it," says Stephanie.

Phillip shrugs, "Couples fight. It's normal. They make up and they get past it."

"Somebody's been reading Cosmo, hasn't he," quips Stephanie.

"If there is anyone who can reform me," says Phillip, "that would be you. You wanna give it a shot?"

Kate tells Chloe this isn't a great time to see Lucas because of his recent near-stroke. Since she can't see Lucas, Chloe decides to go pick up Allie, "Do you know which bar she might be at?" She thanks Kate for putting aside their differences.

Kate wonders why she saved her life, "What was in it for you?"

Somewhere in your living room is a plastic rectangular device which we sometimes call a zapper. Nicole and EJ are on. Use it. Nicole thinks EJ is dismissing her feelings and that makes her think he doesn't love her. "Let me prove just how much I love you," says EJ.

"You mean you're finally going to shut up," asks Nicole.

The BoHopeconciliation continues. Bo wonders why the 180°. Hope says, "Sometimes you just suddenly see things clearly and sometimes the Prozac kicks in. I'm heading for Alice's and I'm going to tell Ciara we're going home."

Bo asks, "Who's going to watch Alice?"

Hope turns as she leaves, "There is one more thing. Something I need you to promise me."

EJ returns to the rumpus room with a sheet of paper, "This is proof I love you. It's the formula." He rips it up, being careful to tear it into really large pieces which would be so easy to put back together even Sydney could do it.

"I'm overjoyed," says Nicole, "more than you'll ever know."

Sami figures Chloe dumped Lucas like they all do and that's why he started drinking again. Lucas says anything bad in his life is because of Sami.

Chloe says there isn't anything or anyone she wouldn't do for Lucas. "I will take such pleasure in paying you back," says Kate. Translation: "I'll get you my pretty... and your little dog too!." Big hugs.

Stephanie says it's always been a fantasy of hers to reform a bad boy. Phillip smirks, "Face it, Stephanie, you wouldn't have me any other way. That would mean... I'll let you figure that out." He kisses her as he leaves and tells her to call.

Hope says she wants Bo to tell her about any more visions, no matter how frightening. Bo immediately has a vision, "I see us spending all the Days Of Our Lives together."

"Not that frightening," says Hope.


She leaves and Bo visualizes Hope having a hot time between the sheets, "WTH?"

Victor meets Kate at the pub and tells her he's thrilled about her remission. He senses something is wrong. Kate tells him Lucas and Chloe are getting back together. "Why would you be concerned about that," says Victor, "Aren't you the one who was possessed by aliens and brainwashed into thinking she's a saint?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss it," says Kate, "but I found out Chloe isn't everything we thought she was."

"You mean she's even lower than a slut," asks Victor.

Kate says she hasn't told Lucas what she has found out. Victor licks his chops and offers to help, "Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold. It has to be done right."

Phillip meets Nicole. Nicole tells him, "Hold out your hands." Phillip complies and she gives him the pieces of the formula and says EJ is letting it go. Phillip congratulates her and says he will keep his mouth shut.

Nicole threatens, "If you cross me I will make sure you wish you were never a gleam in your daddy's eye."

Sami and Lucas argue about his drunken past and whether or not she's to blame. It gets ugly. Lucas accuses her of betraying will, "If you hadn't maybe things would be different right now. Will wouldn't be halfway around the world."

Speak of the devil, the aforementioned Will himself stands at the door to Lucas' room looking far less geeky than his former self, "OMG! Are you two still fighting over me?" Amazingly, Sami and Lucas recognize him.

Prevuze


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9 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

So much Prevuzes ... so little time. Victor is my hero - he kicks butt and takes names. Now watch, he will be dropped from the show like a hot potato. I seriously think Victor's writers need a raise.

Finally a Will I don't cringe to look at, I wonder if they made him whiney like the last one?

How much does everyone want to bet that Hope is rolling in the sheets with ....da da dum Rafe.

10 Reasons why I love Victor

10. He has everyone's balls
9. He isn't on screen much but when he is - he makes up for it
8. He hates everyone on the show, including his own relatives (wait isn't everyone related anyways?)
7. He is full of spunk
6. He doesn't have time to not get to the point
5. He has spunk
4. He has the best writer
3. He has the best dramatic I don't give a damn attitude
2. He has the best one line zingers
and finally..
1. He kicks ass and takes names!

GO VIC!

4:58 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Nicole lectures and tells EJ if she leaves she will take Sydney with her. EJ calls her bluff, flings the door open and tells her to hit the road.

…and take your little dog too! I hope EJ also tosses Nicole that ghastly black top with the oversized rhinestones. Apparently, one of those rhinestones is the center stone in her engagement ring. It really sparkles…NOT!!!

Nicole turns on the waterworks and accuses EJ of not caring.

If that’s true, the viewers will finally have something in common with EJ because we don’t care either.

"He gave up years of sobriety for some airhead bitch who's only claim to fame is she can carry a tune," says Victor.

"Up until you said something about being able to carry a tune, I thought you were talking about Chloe," says Phillip.


When it comes to women, it appears that Victor has really taken it on the chops or he’s had his prostate gland removed.

EJ softens, "Ever since we first made love... I think we were meant to be together."

What no flash back to the touching and incredibly romantic drunken elevator monkey sex? Romping in an elevator is one step up from rocking a Port-A-John, and this is what makes EJ feel all warm and fuzzy toward Nicole...because she'll do it in any filthy public place? Yuck!!

"But it's like the bumper sticker says, 'things happen.'"

Kate corrects her, "I believe the bumper sticker actually says, '&#)@$! happens.'"

"I'm not a great speller," says Chloe, "but I never realized DOOL is spelled '&#)@$!.'"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life returns to normal. The real Bo comes back. Bo the eunuch, as we affectionately think of him.

Bo needs a pep talk from Victor.

Somewhere in your living room is a plastic rectangular device which we sometimes call a zapper. Nicole and EJ are on. Use it.

Thanks for the warning Prevuze!!!

Lucas says anything bad in his life is because of Sami.

Lucas’ memory loss isn’t so bad after all.

Good grief!! There is absolutely no way I’m going to be able to watch this episode without my trusty zapper and the sound track from “Hair” blaring in the background. Prevuze thanks your hilarious recap!!!

5:38 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

The officer is dumbfounded to discover she was actually working.

As are we all! Now that she’s had to give up her badge…NOW she starts working?

Bo actually grows a pair. Mark the date.

LOLOL Date duly marked. But since they’ll disappear again in the near future, I’ve marked it in disappearing ink.

Together, they toss the dead horse out the window and fall into each other's arms.

Whoa, Nellie! I had to go back and read that twice. They actually stopped in mid-rehash and decided not to rehash?? Now this is a date we’d better mark. (And clean poor Nellie up off the sidewalk.)

"Why would you be concerned about that," says Victor, "Aren't you the one who was possessed by aliens and brainwashed into thinking she's a saint?"

Oh, please. Let that me a real line from Vic and not an un-italicized prevuism. HAHAHA

And THANK YOU BULLDOG. I think of that every time Vic gets on his "I hate Nicole because she tried to kill me" rant. Especially when he's saying it to the little lady who tried to kill him (twice) way before Nicole did.

THANK YOU, Prevuze for taking another one for us!

PS. Loved Lucas not being able to marry Chloe until his scars heal.

7:03 AM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

I love Victor but really would he be the one to take advice from on how to handle women? Only if you want them to try to ping you off.

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I'm not buying for a second EJ is giving up the AFP. I think this SURELY was a ploy to shut Nicole up for a few minutes. If it wasn't and he really tore it up then Bo will have some company at the weekly eunuch meetings.

I will use my zapper - to rewind. For Bo telling Hope off is a once-in-a-DOOLtime event that won't be repeated so I'll have to watch that more than once.

It isn't just Victor who mysteriously forgot what Kate has done, what about Pard? He firmly believed Kate and Lucas not only tried to gaslight Sami but also framed her and let her go to death row. Then turned around and married her! How lame is that?

A couple of my favorite Prevuisms: "at the time of the explosion, what were you doing at Daniel's apartment? "Daniel" and telling Lucas to keep his trap shut is like telling a black hole to stop sucking things in. HAHAHA

Great Prevuze cheer on a gloomy, rainy day. Thanks!

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Frog said...

I think the John and Brady action figures are cool!! Do you think the next one out will be Phillip with a titanium leg? >:D

10:46 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

Why is Victor so much better than everyone else.

"It's you who has your head up your a... if you want any woman make sure you maintain your position of power over her."
I don't necessarily agree. How about having some degree of dignity. Victor and Stefano are old school or some such.

"It was Ghoul Girl, wasn't it? What did she do to you? I can't believe that bitch. Brady had to numb himself with drugs to live with her."
Haha. How does Sami even know about 'Ghoul Girl'.

"I'm here to pick up some dinner for Mom and Dad."
I guess 'sometime' mentioned, means every time Stephanie is shown on the screen.

"I'm having nightmares about this."
Sigh.... you'd think EJ would call BS on this. She has tried to kill Victor and is continuously rude towards him, but now she's frightened? lol

And he tore it up? Just like that? OMGWTFBBQ - What sort of asinine behavior is this?

"I want to come home," whines Hope.
So go. You weren't kicked out, stupid.

Together, they toss the dead horse out the window and fall into each others arms.
The writers probably realized how ridiculous this story was. Or we're headed into a more ridiculous one.



Will -
I shouldn't resent nuWill. But I really liked the old actor, it was great having a 'normy' in a cast of over attractive people. Plus, it made him seem more smarter than his parents, NuWill looks like he'll be just as air headed as the other Salemites.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would Sami know about Ghoul Girl?

Sami's sister, Belle, went to school with Ghoul Girl. Belle was the one who first "dolled" Chloe up. Although I don't recall Sami ever having any interaction with Chloe back then, she apparently heard about it somehow.

KOTU

2:59 PM  
Blogger Ana said...

I loved the bit where "Dawning of the Age of Aquarius" leads us into the once in a life time, albeit temporary, moment: Bo growing a pair! It was right on the mark!

Boy, did I literally laugh out loud!

7:04 PM  

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