Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Here's Your Sign...

EJ and Phillip stand at the DiMera mansion's door and bicker. Phillip tells EJ he's delusional if he thinks he'll let Melanie take the project away.

Maggie learns Lucas is boozing it up and rushes for the phone.

Lucas the sot drinks and contemplates the ring as he gets Maggie's call. Bombed on a half Bloody Mary, he decides not to answer.

Father Methuselah counsels Chloe. Chloe decides she's a greedy spoiled little child. With Lucas, she misses the passion and the excitement and, of course, Daniel, "What is wrong with me father?"

"Explaining things like that," says the father, "is what eternity is for."

Kate thinks the bad news Daniel is about to dump on her is her test results. Daniel hyperventilates.

Lucas drinks. He gets chummy with the bartender. They talk about divorce as Lucas gets plastered, "Keep 'em coming."

Chloe tells the priest, "You came for a nice little stroll in the park and a crazy woman ruins your day." Father M wants her whole story. She tells him about the bone marrow transplant, Kate, Daniel, Kate AND Daniel, Daniel's groping examination and their resulting monkey sex. She says she knows if Lucas found out it would destroy him.

Abe and Theo join Lexie at the hospital. Theo shows her a drawing of a house. It's all happy-happy as Daddy says he has to leave for work. Theo wants Daddy to stay.

Chelsea meets Stephanie at the docks. She says she wants Stephanie to know she and Max kissed. "He's just the most affectionate uncle on earth, isn't he," asks Stephanie.

Phillip rants, "If you so much as sniff in the direction of the Alternative Fuels Project I will..." EJ interrupts and tells Phillip he can't scare him. Tony interrupts EJ's interruption and tells them they are both out of their minds. Tony is becoming pretty perceptive in his old age.

Speaking of being out of your mind, Loserclueless rambles and guzzles. He's switched to deadly see-throughs, "A power greater than myself will help me restore my sanity."

"A used 9-volt battery is a power greater than yourself," says Pete the bartender.

Maggie has told Melanie about Lucas' drinking problem. Melanie says she had no idea, "If I had known he was a drunk..."

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL HIM THAT!," screams Maggie, "HE'S SOBRIETY CHALLENGED! Don't you know when a person gets drunk he loses millions of brain cells? The only thing that's saving Lucas is he doesn't have any more to lose." Melanie asks why Lucas fell off the wagon. Maggie says she knows but won't say. She heads to rescue the lush.

Father M tells Chloe she merely fell in love. He validates her Daniel romp and practically marries them by proxy on the spot. He compares her finding a soul mate to his devotion to the Lord.

God rolls his eyes, "Now I've heard everything."

Daniel stammers around as a nurse comes up and gives him an envelope. Daniel opens it and says it's instant perspective. He announces that Kate is in remission. Joy and hugs ensue.

Tony lectures EJ and Phillip for trying to pit their families against each other. EJ continues to accuse Phillip of being attracted to Melanie. Phillip grabs EJ's lapel and threatens to run him out of town. EJ accuses Phillip of being arrogant for firing Melanie and then expecting her to do business with him. He tells Phillip to leave.

After Phillip stomps off, Tony says, "You have a lot to learn, little brother."

"I doubt it," says EJ, "My brain has reached it's capacity."

Kate bounces off the walls with happiness. She decides she has a newfound hope. She says she has vowed to embrace life if she got a second chance. Instead she embraces Daniel.

Father M counsels Chloe to follow her heart. She isn't sure she believes God can answer her prayers. Father M suggests she put Him to the test.

Lucas wobbles into the Cheatin' Heart and orders a double vodka. The bartender says, "I thought you were on the wagon."

Lucas isn't in the mood for preaching, "I thought you were a bartender, not a social worker."

He picks up his drink and starts to swill it, but Maggie grabs it from him, "What the hell do you think you're doing? Aren't you going to offer to buy me one, too? "

Abe volunteers to take Theo to his appointment. Lexie whines, "Abe, we don't have to just cave in and give him what he wants."

"That's why he likes you so much," says Abe.

"I feel like a failure," says Lexie.

That's normal," says Abe, "when you are one."

Stephanie tells Chelsea she and Max are done. Chelsea reminds Stephanie she said she would have a problem if Chelsea and Max got back together. Stephanie insists she is happy for both of them. Chelsea asks about Phillip. "It's kind of a Tidy Bowl relationship," says Stephanie.

"What does that mean," asks Chelsea.

"In the toilet."


Chelsea says Stephanie, "I just don't want you to give up on him yet, 'cause I know he really, really likes you. And, of course, now I'm going to fight to the death to keep you away from Max. You need to lay down the law, throw down the gauntlet."

Phillip arrives at Maggie's house to talk to Melanie. Melanie asks, "Why are you here?"

Phillip steps up to the Melanie buffet, "For this..."

Kate proceeds to enjoy life all over Daniel. She's all hot to get back together. Daniel's all cool about it. Kate wants. Daniel backpedals. He shoos Kate off to tell her kids the good news.

Chloe says she's rusty with the prayer thing. Father M encourages her to practice on him. Chloe launches into it, "God, I love two men. One of them because he gives me security. The other because he actually knows what he's doing in bed. What should I do? Which man should I be with."

That was a very fine prayer," says Father M, "I approve."

"You'll never be a bishop," says God.

Maggie snorts and lectures. Lucas sasses and rants about his wife not-to-be, "What did she do, Maggie, my ex-fiancée, si'l vous plait? tell me. I can handle it."

Maggie says, "Chloe is having an affair."

"Barkeep," screams Lucas, "Martini! Triple!"

Tony and EJ continue to argue about DiMera enterprises. EJ claims Tony hasn't had much of an impact on the company. Tony explodes, "You may be Stefano's latest yes man but I will not have you dismiss my latest contribution to DiMera enterprises." EJ accuses him of overreacting. Tony yells, "You're about to start a war with the Kiriakis family. You regard that as nothing?"

"You can accuse me of starting a war," says EJ, "But whatever you do, don't call it a vendetta."

"I think if father found out what you were up to," says Tony, "he'd fire your arrogant ass."

Stephanie decides to go read the riot act to Phillip. She reiterates that she is happy for Chelsea and her uncle.

Melanie is a little shocked at Phillip's behavior. Phillip says he has fought it like crazy but he can't get rid of his feelings for her. Phillip munches away, "You and I are alike in so many ways."

"You mean everyone wants you to leave town, too," asks Melanie.

Chelsea discovers the Carvers at the hospital and volunteers to take Theo to his session. Theo points at Abe and Lexie and says, "Family."

"Don't get too excited about that," warns Chelsea, "So were the Sopranos."

Tony tells EJ to back off. EJ says, "You want me to relax while you twirl your guns like a corporate cowboy?" EJ reminds Tony he is the chosen one and has complete confidence in what he is doing, as does Stefano, "Don't forget... I am the golden child." He leaves.

Tony chuckles, "Golden child? You are a damn fool and you are playing with fire."

Phillip slows things down, "Are you having second thoughts?"

"I'm incapable of a first thought," says Melanie, "But, no, I'm not having second thoughts." Phillip moves in for another sample as Stephanie walks up to the door and soaks it all in.

Prevuze

Daniel ponders, "Now that she's in remission, it's time to break the news to her and Lucas."

It seems however, Lucas already has that news bulletin. He asks, "Having an affair? You mean like having sex with someone?"

"No," says Maggie, "She joined a knitting group."

Lucas screams, "Who is she doing?"

"Daniel," says Maggie, "Chloe is seeing Daniel behind your back. All of him."

Lucas nukes, "HOLY... He's a dead man! I'm gonna kill that dude!"

"I'm glad to see prison really reformed you," says Maggie.

The father says he'll pray for Chloe. He leaves. Chloe prays, for real this time, "God, if you're there and listening, please send me a sign."

Lucas drinks and rants. In the exciting type of action you only find on DOOL, he and Daniel dial their phones simultaneously.

Chloe gets her call. Chloe looks at the caller ID, "Oh dear God, there's my sign."

Bill Engvall walks up to her and hands her one, "No, darlin', Here's your sign..."

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9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the last line. Chloe really is an idiot. And you'd never see a priest give advice like that.

But what's with Tony? I always thought he didn't want anything to do with Stefano and his company. Especially after being stranded on that island for so long. What was the point of the reveal that Andre had taken his place for all those years (which really didn't seem to make sense with the whole Kristen story) if they're just going to turn him into a villain again and never show Anna on screen?

3:28 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Bombed on a half Bloody Mary, he decides not to answer.

Smack to Lucas’ head – darn you coulda had a V-8. By the way, what certifiable lush gets hammered on Bloody Marys?

With Lucas, she misses the passion and the excitement.

Oh my, no wonder poor Lucas is hitting the bottle! Lucas needs to hook up with Nicole so she can give him a few porno tips. In fact, Nicole needs to add a few chapters to the “Guy Manual” for the excitement challenged reader.

Tony interrupts EJ's interruption and tells them they are both out of their minds. Tony is becoming pretty perceptive in his old age.

Now if Tony can pass his wisdom onto the writers and producers of DOOL, all of us weary viewers would benefit greatly. Unfortunately, Tony is about to get his plane ticket to Switzerland. Word is that he will be leaving in a body bag.

He compares her finding a soul mate to his devotion to the lord.

God rolls his eyes, "Now I've heard everything."


Better change that to now I’ve read everything. I’m sure God is smart enough to read Prevuze and skip watching DOOL.

"God, I love two men. One of them because he gives me security. The other because he actually knows what he's doing in bed.”

and

Theo points at Abe and Lexie and says, "Family."

"Don't get too excited about that," warns Chelsea, "So were the Sopranos."


Naughty, naughty Prevuze!!!

Thanks Bulldog for some more insight into the Lucas/Chloe relationship, and thank you Prevuze for an outstanding hump day recap of Daze!!!

5:10 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Jolena and Payla's exits didn't bother me but losing Tony and Anna will - even though they were hardly ever on there! I also read where Tony is supposed to have a "dark exit". Maybe Thaao was so disgusted with the way their return was handled he made them promise to kill him off. OR he figures what the heck, this is DOOL - I'll come back again, next time as the REAL Tony. HA Anyway, I shall miss him.

LOL over "A power greater than myself will help me restore my sanity." "A used 9-volt battery is a power greater than yourself" and the head lice.

But my favorite is "You can accuse me of starting a war," says EJ, "But whatever you do, don't call it a vendetta." Ahh, leave it to Prevuze to bring in special reminders of the past. HAHAHAHA

Great Prevuze today, thanks! :D

8:11 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

"A used 9-volt battery is a power greater than yourself," says Pete the bartender.

About choked on my bagel at that one. LOLOL

My HUH?! moment #1:
"I feel like a failure," says Lexie.

Didn’t this episode’s writer check the back story? I thought Lexi had resolved this whole, “I’m a terrible mother” issue about Theo a week or two ago.

My HUH?! moment #2:
Stephanie walks up to the door and soaks it all in.

What’s Stephanie doing at Maggie’s house? She was going off to read the riot act to Philip. She have a tracking device planted on him??

I got a lot of great laughs out of today's Prevuze: Bulldog's picture, Chloe's "confession", and the incomplete scientific formula all had me LOL.

The last line? Brilliant!

8:31 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

The bartender says, "I thought you were on the wagon."
You'd think it'd be in his best interest not to be an enabler. Lucas is family ain't he??

That's normal," says Abe, "when you are one."
lmao, ouch Prevuze.

"Don't forget... I am the golden child."
Currently being duped by two emotional, unstable women.

Bleh... this episode seems ho-hum. I imagine you zoned out whilst writing this Prevuze.

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank God for Prevuze! Although I sometimes feel so bad for you because we all rely on you to actually watch this dreck. Great last line, too.
Cookie

3:22 PM  
Anonymous Potato Cakes said...

Poor Lucas. Did Maggie have to spell it out that having an affair = sex?

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Potato Cake said...

Poor old Lucas.

Did Maggie really have to spell out the obvious that having an affair = sex with someone who isn't Lucas?

5:49 PM  
Blogger I Love Baby Quilts! said...

"God, I love two men. One of them because he gives me security. The other because he actually knows what he's doing in bed.

That's the exact truth! The truth you'll never see on DOOL. That's why I read here!

9:03 AM  

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