Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Oopsies!

Lucas and Kate are together in her room at the hospital. Kate tells him he should be with Chloe. Lucas wants her to know how much it means to him and Chloe that she's OK with them as a couple.

Daniel comes in to see Chloe. Chloe is distant. Dr. Feelgood asks her to sign the forms. Chloe wants to be left alone.

Phillip is on the phone with Billie. He's standing in the reception area outside his office as Melanie works at the desk behind him. Stephanie walks in and Melanie checks her watch, "Well, ahem, good morning." Stephanie explains she's not due in the office until 10 AM. Melanie tells Phillip Marie went home sick and she volunteers to fill in for her. Phillip is concerned about the big presentation she was working on. Stephanie says she and Melanie will get the presentation done together. Phillip isn't big on disasters, so he leaves.

Stephanie turns to her new BFF Melanie, "We have a lot of work to do.

Melanie squeaks, "Let me get one little itty bitty thing straight. I don't take orders from you."

Stephanie says if that's the case, Melanie can figure the presentation out on her own. Since Rafe and Sami are off the show today, the girls fill in the bickering void and go at it. Phillip walks out of his office and hands Stephanie a file folder, "These are my thoughts."

Stephanie leafs through it, "But the pages are all blank."

"Good," says Phillip, "That means they accurately express the thought's I'm capable of."


Melanie announces that the files they need are no longer on the server, "So I'll just go down to the archives and get them for you." She turns to Phillip, "By the way, when is payday?"

"You just started," says Phillip, "and we have to get you processed and in the system, so it will be about a month. Is that a problem?"

Melanie holds back the desire to explode and smiles, "Of course not." She makes a quick call to Claude the letch.

Kayla joins the party and gives Stephanie the wallet she forgot to bring. She tells Phillip, "Your mother is doing remarkably well."

Phillip asks, "You mean from a medical perspective?"

"No," says Kayla, "But I can help you find a qualified physician if you want." The three of them walk off as Melanie eyes Stephanie's wallet, still lying on her desk.

Charlotte has arrived for her first day of work at the hospital. Marlena comes in and Charlotte announces they share a reception area. "I'm thrilled," says Marlena.

"I can tell," says Charlotte, "If by thrilled you mean completely peeved." Marlena asks when Charlotte will start seeing patients. Right on cue, patient number one comes in. Guess who? Charlotte and John saunter into her office and close the door.

Marlena grumbles about things to her receptionist as the sound of giggling comes from Charlotte's office. But Marlena is fine. Really. Fine.

Melanie computes. Phillip and Kayla talk about Kate. Kayla says they'll let Phillip know if things get bad enough for Billie and Austin to fly in.

"We'd better get them on a plane," says Phillip, "Things on this show couldn't get any worse."

Kayla and Stephanie decide to go for a cup of coffee. Stephanie picks up her wallet. Melanie gives her a nasty grin.

Melanie turns to Phillip, "My help just left to have coffee with Mommy." Phillip doesn't want to hear that kind of talk. He tells Melanie how hard Stephanie works and reminds her she is, after all, only an intern.

"That's what Bill told Hillary about Monica," says Melanie.

Stephanie and Kayla discuss Melanie. Stephanie insists she can handle the situation.

Lucas tells Kate how happy Chloe is to help save her life.

Kate appreciates that, "But don't worry. Once this is over I'm sure I'll be able to make her regret it." Kate wishes they could search for another donor. She asks if Chloe has expressed any reservations about going through with the procedure. Lucas says no, but Kate thinks he's lying. Lucas tells her about Chloe being nervous after her pre-op with Daniel.

Dr. Groper asks if there is anything wrong. Chloe gives him a look that could freeze molten lead, "I think you know."

"Do you want to talk about what happened when I examined you," asks Dr. Fondle.

Chloe has a flashback to the grope-a-thon, "Nothing happened."

"I understand," says Dr. Fiddlearound, "You're nervous."

"I AM NOT NERVOUS," screams Chloe, "I just want to get on with it. I've been waiting for hours and I'm cold." Daniel offers to get a blanket. Chloe yells, "I don't want any special treatment. I'll wait for a nurse, OK?"

Luclueless walks in, "Everything OK?"

Melanie walks into the reception area carrying a tray piled high with lunches. Phillip grabs his and lifts the cellophane, "Uh-oh... I asked for no mayo." Melanie offers to go get him another but Phillip says to forget it. Melanie gives Stephanie a latte. Stephanie offers to help with her project. Melanie don' wan' no stinkin' help. Phillip calls Stephanie into his office, "We have to go over those third quarter numbers." They go inside Phillip's office.

Melanie mocks, "Third quarter numbers. Is that what they call it these days?"

Charlotte comes out of her office with John. She leaves and Marlena asks John if he's going to continue his sessions. He says he is. Marlena asks, "So, you enjoyed it, then?"

"I enjoyed it as much as a person can enjoy being shrunk," says John.

"I'd sure enjoy being shrunk," says Marlena, "These days they have to grease my hips to get me into an elevator."

Chloe insists she's not edgy. Dr. Bone-us is concerned that her blood pressure may be rising, "If we can't keep it under control we may have to call the whole thing off."

Chloe nukes, "I'M JUST FINE! WE AREN'T CALLING THIS OFF!" Lucas senses just a bit of tension. He walks over and gives her a backrub. Dr. Flyinfingers volunteers to fill in. He decides to check her BP and asks Lucas to step outside.

"OK," says Dr. Copafeel, "I need a blood pressure reading, please take off all your clothes."

Chloe asks, "Why do I need to take off my clothes for you to measure my BP?"

"It's a new experimental procedure," says Dr. Squeezethecharmin, "And you know I’m big on experimental procedures."
Daniel goes to check on Kate. Lucas comes back in and asks if Chloe's OK. Mt. St. Chloe erupts.

Dr. Pawsinaction examines Kate, "I have to take your blood pressure... it's a new experimental procedure..."

Kate thanks him for everything, "You literally gave me life. Thank you for making it so worth living."

Kayla joins Marlena in her reception area. She asks Marlena how she feels about the sharing her waiting room. Marlena ain't too happy. Kayla says she is sooo sorry she screwed up and didn't talk to Marlena about it in advance. Kayla asks about John. "I'm thrilled John is seeing someone," says Marlena, "But it's not the doctor I recommended."

Kayla reminds her, "He's dead."

"I think we could have waited until he comes back to life," says Marlena, "I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm not totally comfortable situation. I mean, Dr. Taylor seems competent... she's qualified... she's nice looking..."

"I think you might be jealous," says Kayla.

Stephanie and Melanie are down at the massive door to the Titan vault. Stephanie goes inside to look for the documents they need. Melanie sneaks up and swings the door shut. We hear a foreboding click. The vault is sealed. Melanie squeals, "Oopsies!" Inside, Stephanie bangs on the monstrous door and yells for someone to open it.

Marlena denies being jealous, "John tries to be ingratiating to women. I find that to be disconcerting and demeaning, except when he's trying to be ingratiating to me."

Kayla asks if she'd like to be the person helping John. Marlena says she would like that and maybe in that way she's a little jealous – professionally, of course, "John won't tell me what goes on in his sessions."

Kayla points out his doctor wouldn't want him to do that and if Marlena were his doctor, she wouldn't want him to do that either. She thinks Marlena is too invested in his case. "I still love him," says Marlena, "When I see you with Steve I feel hopeful that it really is possible to get back together with someone who doesn't have a brain."

Charlotte finds John brooding on a park bench.

Chelsea comes into Titan. She tells Melanie to tell Phillip she's there. Melanie wants to know why she should do that. Chelsea explains about Kate. "Have a seat I'll tell him," says Melanie. She goes back to her keyboard.

Chelsea steams, "Today?"

"Find him yourself," says the snot, "I have work to do, so could you shut up?"

"You have a cushy job here," says Chelsea, "with all the corporate perks and the health club, meanwhile Nick's on trial for murder."

Melanie smiles, "Well... didn't he kill someone. Oh, yes, my father." Chelsea decides to tell Phillip how well Melanie treats his family members. She pokes her head in his door, but the room is empty, "He's not in his office. Know where he could be or would it hurt your pretty little head to think?"

"It would," says Melanie, "Tell me, what do you take for that problem?"

Stephanie pounds and screams. Phillip comes up behind her, "It's no use. The door is on a timer." He tells her he came to the vault to get some documents and now they are both locked in and there is no way out. Stephanie pounds and yells, "It's no use," says Phillip, "It's soundproof."

Daniel says he doesn't deserve the credit for developing this procedure. Kate asks about Chloe. Dr. Grab says, "She's doing fine and she's adamant about going through with the surgery. In fact, I think it's just about time for me to take another experimental blood pressure reading on her." Kate asks to talk to her.

Prevuze

Chloe and Lucas smooch. The nurse comes in with Chloe's IV and tells her she has to remove her jewelry. Chloe takes off her engagement ring and asks Lucas to run down and throw it into the river for her.

Chelsea asks where Phillip is. The snot says, "I don't have to play the role of your personal assistant." Chelsea turns and asks Sasha.

"He went to the vault," says Sasha.

Melanie about swallows her tongue, "THE VAULT?"

Stephanie asks, "When does the timer open the door."

"Sooner or later," says Phillip, "Probably later. There is no point in panicking."

The girls come down to the vault and wonder why the door is shut. Sasha says she saw Stephanie go in there, too. She says they can't get them out.

Phillip and Stephanie cozy up to each other. Phillip asks, "Is it getting hot in here?"

John says he felt a little headache coming on. Charlotte wants to try biofeedback in their next session. She tells him he did well today. He says he's not sure he can come back for another appointment.

The girls are back at Melanie's computer reading the instructions to the vault door "It opens at a preset time," says Sasha.

Melanie panics, "We should call 911. Does anyone have the number? "

Chelsea says, "If we call 911 the emergency crews will come and blast their way in and Titan will have to spend thousands to repair the door."

"Not to mention the fact that dynamiting the door might not be too healthy for Phillip and Stephanie," says Sasha. Chelsea decides it's a lost cause and she heads for the hospital. She says she'll explain to everyone why Phillip isn't there.

Melanie whines, "OMG! They're in there alone!"

"No," says Sasha, "They're together."

Phillip remains calm. Stephanie claims this was an accident. Phillip says he thinks there is no such thing as an accident.

Stephanie gasps, "You think I want to be trapped with you? You do! You're enjoying this!"

Kayla and Marlena discuss John's therapy. Kayla thinks Marlena doesn't like Charlotte very much. Marlena says she wants to help John, "This isn't about Dr. Taylor, it's about me."

"It usually is," says Kayla.

John tells Charlotte he's afraid that the therapy might work too well and he will get his old life back, "The guy I used to be was kind of a jerk. I'd like to have Blondie in my life again. I'm doing this for her. So what do you think? Can you help me?"

"I will do my very best."

Lucas wheels Chloe into Kate's room. Chloe assures her she wants to do this, "As soon as possible... before anyone asks me again." She insists she isn't nervous, "Lets put this to bed now."

"Great idea," says Dr. Octopus.

Chloe tries to put Kate at ease, "They say once you have the transplant it's like having a new birthday. So this is the first day of the rest of your life."

You're right," says Kate, "Tomorrow is another day."

"Here today, gone tomorrow," says Chloe.

"Always look on the bright side," says Kate.

"But it's a matter of life and death," says Chloe.

"I know," says Kate, "But life's not all fun and games."

"True," says Chloe, "But life is what you make it."

"And," says Kate, "The best things in life are free."

The hospital billing director walks in, "True, but believe me, this operation won't be. I need you to sign the deed to your house over to us."


Lucas wheels Kate out.

Phillip tells Stephanie to relax, "I'm just messing with you. We have to do something to pass the time."

Stephanie asks, "What will the board do when you miss a meeting."

"Nothing," says Phillip, "Once they hear I was locked in the vault with a beautiful woman."

"You think I'm beautiful," asks Stephanie.

"You know you are," says Phillip.

He recalls a rule he read in the Guy Manual, "The 'locked in a vault rule:' If you're locked in a vault with a woman and there is no hope of getting out, believe me, she's beautiful. This is also known as the 'stranded on a desert island rule' or the 'stuck in an elevator rule.' If she's an intern, the 'Monica Lewinski rule' also applies."

Phillip moves in on Stephanie to put the 'Monica Lewinski rule' into action. Closer... closer... closer...

Melanie walks in and breaks up the party. Lots of people clear their throats in unison.


Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website. Prevuze II should be up no later than noon, Eastern Time.

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22 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

Besides the fact that I love Prevuze, is it me or is this show duller than a can of Elmer's paste? Loved the Copperfield and Cop-a-feel pics. What does Prevuze do all day, do you picture these things in your head in the middle of the night or are these just random thoughts that pop up throughout the day, like say in the middle of doing dishes or cleaning out the toilet?

4:55 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Phillip is concerned about the big presentation she was working on. Stephanie says she and Melanie will get the presentation done together.

An intern and an administrative assistant…that should work well.

Melanie announces that the files they need are no longer on the server, "So I'll just go down to the archives and get them for you."

Apparently, a scanner isn’t in Titan’s budget.

The three of them walk off as Melanie eyes Stephanie's wallet, still lying on her desk.

Duh!! Why would Stephanie leave her wallet within snatching range of a petty thief?

Marlena grumbles about things to her receptionist as the sound of giggling comes from Charlotte's office. But Marlena is fine. Really. Fine.

Oh, come on. In the medical field, privacy is of the utmost importance. If it is so easy to hear giggling, the receptionist would have reported this to the doctors. Certainly, a psychiatrist would have demanded that the hospital do something about soundproofing the offices. Geez!!

Dr. Groper asks if there is anything wrong. Chloe gives him a look that could freeze molten lead, "I think you know."

Is it possible that Dr. Feel-Chloe-Up can get any creepier? I have got to wonder if the writers actually expect the viewers to be grossed out by his bedside manner. If they do, it’s really working.

Luclueless walks in, "Everything OK?"

Once again, Lucas’ wheel is moving but the hamster is dead.

Phillip calls Stephanie into his office, "We have to go over those third quarter numbers."

With Stephanie? Titan has a CFO. Shouldn’t Phillip be discussing the numbers with him/her?

“It's a new experimental procedure," says Dr. Squeezethecharmin, "And you know I’m big on experimental procedures."

Dr. Squeezethecharmin…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Prevuze, you are too much!!!!!!

OMG Prevuze, you outdid yourself. This is a 182 star edition of Prevuze!!! All the names you came up with for Dr. Pinch-A-Butt were hysterical and the Monica Lewinski references were liquid-through-the-nose inducing. Thank you for your terrific hump day review of Daze!

5:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a FORMER "Date" fan, I LOVED all of the new nicknames for Dr. Jonasty! Prevuze, you were hilarious as usual, and also as usual, much better than the actual show.

Loved the Copperfield vs Cop-a-feel and the new experimental procedure for checking the BP. If, after reading Prevuze, there are any brave souls (or crazy souls?) who actually try to watch this episode, have a barf bag handy.

The only thing worse than watching Dr.Jonasty's "examination" of Chloe's lymph nodes, is the flashback that Chloe has of it like 30 seconds later. This is to reinforce the fact that this was a sexy and chemistry-filled scene. It's a good thing they did that, because otherwise I wouldn't have noticed just how sexy and steamy that scene was, and instead would have mistaken it for a child molester "examining" his victim.

Also loved your observation that the nursery school that is Titan filled the void since the nursery school that is the "SAFE" house wasn't available. Way to step up, girls..
kozzie2

6:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved the Copperfield/Cop-a-feel image. Too cute.

I can tell my FF button is going to get a workout, but I'm glad I'll get to see John, Marlena, and Kayla tomorrow. I don't like new John calling old John a jerk or understand how this is clearing up his brain cloud, but I'm glad John tells Charlotte he's doing this for Blondie. I want to see J&M get together and hopefully have some quality time before they head off into the sunset.

Thank heavens for Prevuze. I'd never make it to Jan 23rd if I tried to watch the show every day.

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Therapists have all kinds of rules about privacy conflict of interest. In the real world, would a therapist see the spouse of an office-mate? I doubt it. Just another reminder that Salem is a long ways away from the real world.

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I would actually have to watch the show, I would've stopped along time ago. Reading Prevuze is the best!! I love all the names for the dr. too funny!!

All the storylines suck, so you have to have something to laugh about. Great Job!!

8:34 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

are these just random thoughts that pop up throughout the day

Prevuze walks out of his office and hands Berg a file folder, "These are my thoughts."

Berg leafs through it, "But the pages are all blank."

"Good," says Prevuze, "That means they accurately express the thought's I'm capable of."

8:34 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

My rant for today - intern or no, I'd think any boss would wonder about someone walking in and right back out for a coffee break. If Stephanie wasn't getting such special treatment or if that had been Melanie or anyone else, would Phil had been so defensive? Thank God we didn't have to endure Titan-safe sex.

You really were in top form today, Prev! "I'd sure enjoy being shrunk," says Marlena, "These days they have to grease my hips to get me into an elevator." Marlena, Oprah and me. HAHAHAHA

As well as "When I see you with Steve I feel hopeful that it really is possible to get back together with someone who doesn't have a brain."

Love all of the great names for Dr. Fastfingers.

Excellent pictures, too. Thanks! :D

8:51 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Lest anyone still doubt that Salem is in Illinois, the arrest of our Governor yesterday should seal the deal.
Five out of the last seven IL Governors have been arrested and convicted of some crime.
On TV yesterday an FBI agent said -
(And this is an exact quote)
"If Illinois is not the most corrupt state in the United States, it is certainly very near the top of the list."

I agree with everyone that Dr. Feelup is getting really creepy.
Telling Lucas to leave the room so he can check Chloe's BP?

Chloe nukes, "I'M JUST FINE! WE AREN'T CALLING THIS OFF!" Lucas senses just a bit of tension. He walks over and gives her a backrub I laughed so hard at this one I almost choked to death on my raisin toast!

8:59 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Titan-safe sex

GROAN!

9:10 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I agree with everyone that Dr. Feelup is getting really creepy. Telling Lucas to leave the room so he can check Chloe's BP?

Oops. That was supposed to be in italics. I must admit, I'm writing Dr. Slapntickle a little creepier than he's being presented, but that was such a bad miss I've gone back and italicized it. In fact, if you think about it, Daniel really didn't have to take her BP since her machine is monitoring it. Sorry.

As far as your creepy governor goes, I really wanted to make some reference in the posting but nothing really fit. Don't worry, I have plans to work it in when the time is right.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Oh, and for the Canadians in the audience, your Parliament suspending PM is on the Prevuze radar, too.

9:23 AM  
Blogger fwickafwee said...

awesome Soylent Green reference!! Nice Prevuze!!!

9:49 AM  
Anonymous O.R. 18 said...

Great Job as usual. Better review than the actual show.

I've decided that not only are the writers recycling scripts they're also recyling nicknames.

Roman used Doc and Neil used Blondie for Liz.

No originality for Marlena.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Vicki Hale said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:46 AM  
Blogger HaleMom said...

So... Nicole is going to bring home a toddler to pass off as their baby. Brilliant!

10:49 AM  
Anonymous queen_of_the_penguins said...

lol awesome

11:24 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

With Stephanie? Titan has a CFO. Shouldn’t Phillip be discussing the numbers with him/her?

Leslie - remember, Philip made Luckless the CFO and since that schmuck is too busy off wringing his hands over his mommy and/or getting it on with his girlfriend. I guess that just leaves the admin asst.

Since Rafe and Sami are off the show today, the girls fill in the bickering void and go at it.

Ohboyohboy. I can hardly wait. [statement to be read dripping with sarcasm]

Kayla says they'll let Phillip know if things get bad enough for Billie and Austin to fly in. "We'd better get them on a plane," says Phillip, "Things on this show couldn't get any worse."

How true, how true.

Dr. Squeezethecharmin

Love, loved, loved all the names for Dr. Stickyfingers, but Dr. Squeeze was the best.

Marlena, "But it's not the doctor I recommended." Kayla reminds her, "He's dead." "I think we could have waited until he comes back to life," says Marlena.

Marlena has a point. LOLOL

Marlena observes she can't quite figure out why she doesn't like Charlotte. "I think you might be jealous," says Kayla.

I'm enjoying seeing the sactimonious Doc go green everytime she sees John & Charlotte together.

Got a great laugh out of Bulldog's picture of Abe & Alice. And, the soylent green reference led to a choking fit as I tried not to spit out the drink I thoughtlessly had in my mouth.

A final rant: Melanie would last about two seconds on a job in the real world with an attitude she's sporting (not to mention spouting off to another employee). And if Sasha saw Steph go into the vault wouldn't she also have seen Melanie shut the safe door just seconds later??

Got here late today. But the wait was worth it. Fabulous Prevuze.

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Berg said...

are these just random thoughts that pop up throughout the day

Prevuze walks out of his office and hands Berg a file folder, "These are my thoughts."

Berg leafs through it, "But the pages are all blank."

"Good," says Prevuze, "That means they accurately express the thought's I'm capable of."

Touche - and nice use of recycled story (from Prevuze) see? You can be a DOOL writer. Maybe that is a new list we can come up with. "you might be a DOOL writer if ..."

3:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, this show is duller than a can of Elmer's paste!
Dr. Creep and his unethical groping of Chloe is the latest in a long line of sleazy set-ups DOOL wants us to think are 'hot'. It's not working. Neither is this set-up with Philip and the latest insipid co-ed with a teen tossed in for more icky discomfort on this show (just in case you hadn't had enough already).

Sad to see characters like Chloe tossed under the bus like this. For all the sniping she gets now, she was originally very unique, intelligent and feisty. Not the bedwarmer they are now trying to turn her into.

Ironically, while Chloe was introduced with those qualities and can play that very well, TPTB won't give her the material. Instead they would prefer to use the pretzel approach and try to twist personality-free characters like Stephanie into instant business women with brains to pair her with Philip. But there is only so much you can do with a universally bland beauty queen.

4:10 AM  
Blogger Sarolite said...

I didn't understand why Chloe was in a hospital gown to have her blood work done the day before. Now I see why.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Lori said...

Prevuze, I think your Dr. Dan characterization is right on the mark and not over the top. Watching him on the show creeps me out. Does Daze mean to have him be a scuzball or do these writers think his actions are even a tiny bit appropriate (and sexy)? Please....

7:19 PM  

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