Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Fast Track To Hell

Nicole spikes Brady's drink. Just as he's about to pound it down, he gets a call from Marlena and leaves. Nicole whispers, "It's your own damn fault, Brady."

Chloe gets off the phone with her parents and nukes, "They are only supportive if I'm doing what they want.

Lucas asks, "Are you having second thoughts."

"I don't have thoughts," says Chloe.

Daniel comes in to see Kate. He tells her he's (say it with him) there for her. A nurse calls him out. Daniel tells Kate to rest and leaves. Outside, the nurse hands Daniel Chloe's file. Daniel looks at the file and gets that troubled look on his face that actors in soap operas get to look really, really worried when nothing at all is wrong, "That's not right! It can't be!"

Chloe insists she is going through with the bone marrow donation. Lucas thinks she's amazing, "You're giving my mom a second chance."

Daniel calls, "Chloe, I was checking your white count. There may be a problem.

Chloe gasps, "What's the problem."

Daniel says, "Well, can you come by the hospital? We'll talk about it when you get here."

"Why can't we talk about it now?"

"Because," says Daniel, "It's such a hoot to make the patient think she is dying and fret about it all the way to the hospital. Then she gets her and I tell her it was only a small issue. It's a real knee-slapper."

The mayor's assassin does push-ups. His phone rings and he picks up, "Talk to me... If it's going to take me to that little bitch I'll be there."

EJ makes his call to Sami at the safehouse. Sami says, "There is something wrong. I can hear it in your voice."

EJ says, "I'm calling to say goodbye."

Brady returns to Nicole's table. She begs him once again not to tell EJ she lost the baby. Brady insists he will. He starts to drink. Nicole smacks the concoction from his hand and runs, "No! I can't! I can't do it!"

EJ rambles about Nicole, their baby and himself, "I want a family. I want to be with her all the Days Of Our Lives."

Sami cuts to the chase, "Are you in love with her?"

Brady chases down Nicole outside the Cheatin' Heart. He grabs her and asks what's wrong. Nicole wails, "I couldn't go through with it." She shows him an empty vial and tells him she laced his drink with cocaine. Brady runs back into the pub and starts lapping his spilled drink off the floor.

Chloe tells Lucas Daniel said there's a problem but it's probably small. Lucas, of course, turns into a basket case.

EJ is silent. Sami finally says, "It's not a trick question, EJ. Do you love her?"

"Yes," says EJ, "I do."

Sami is near tears. "So... You wanted to give me a little holiday cheer?" EJ says he had a conversation with Stefano, "He pointed out you are one of the reasons I'm having trouble connecting with Nicole."

"You want to connect with the town slut?"

"She's the mother of my child."

"And how did that happen?" Inquiring minds want to know. Sami rants, "Go back to your trashy girlfriend. You have just ruined your life."

Speaking of ranting, Nicole does a pretty good job of that herself, "I was going to put you on the fast track to hell again. I'm selfish and a sociopath. I couldn't handle you telling EJ. Go ahead and tell him about the baby and tell him I spiked your drink." Brady lectures her about what it took for him to get clean. Nicole says she figured if she got him hooked again it would discredit anything he said.

"You are doing to EJ what you did to me all those years ago," says Brady, "I won't have any part of it."

Chloe and Lucas arrive at the hospital. Now that Chloe has been sweating bullets for a while, Daniel says, "It's no big deal. I just want to check Chloe's white cell count."

Lucas figures he won't be any help with that since he can't count, so he goes off to see Kate.

EJ says, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you give a damn."

"I do, EJ," says Sami, "You're the father of my child – half of them, in fact. I don't want Nicole raising my son." EJ insists Nicole has changed.

Nicole tells Brady EJ is the first man in a long time to care about her. She can't lose him. She tells him how much she loves EJ. Brady says, "People in love don't lie to each other."

"You have been out of town a long time, haven't you," asks Nicole, "I have finally found someone who found the good in me."

"So, it is possible to find a needle in a haystack," says Brady.

"Don't I deserve someone like that," asks Nicole.

"No you don't," says Brady, "Not if this is the way you're going to get it."

Lucas is in with Kate. He says he's so proud of her for going through this and being more worried about others more than herself, "Chloe is giving us a second chance and we are going to take it."

Daniel checks Chloe's blood pressure. Chloe says she is determined to go through with this, "I'm paying it forward. My baby sister did it for me and now I'm doing it for Kate. It's my karmic responsibility."

"I'm going to check your lymph nodes," says Daniel. He pokes and prods.

"Hey," says Chloe, "My lymph nodes aren't down there!" Their eyes meet. Closer... closer... Chloe turns away.

Sami continues to fire verbal missiles at EJ, "You've moved on with the biggest slut in Salem. Have you started drinking and didn't tell me? EJ says he thinks Sami can't take it that he's not pining after her any more, "You come after me... then you run to Lucas. Then I hear you whine, 'I love you... no wait... I love Lucas...' You know what I think you are really saying? You're saying, 'I love me.' It's not going to happen. I'm moving on."

Sami whines, "Just to spite me?"

EJ says he will always care because of his son. "So," says Sami, "We'll be just one big extended family."

"Something like that."

"I'm extending as we speak," says Sami.

"I made this call as a courtesy," says EJ, "It didn't work out." He hangs up.

Sami changes her tune, "EJ? wait!"

EJ stares like a zombie, "I tried to do the right thing."

"I know you did," says Roman.

Back at the kindergarten we sometimes refer to as the safehouse, Sami huffs and tosses things.

Nicole and Brady keep talking about her baby caper. We've heard it all before. She blows her stack. Brady says he really didn't realize how important this was to her. He does a 180, "This is your life and your decision and I won't say anything to EJ or anyone else." Nicole is so relieved. And grateful. Hugs.

Back at the nuthou... safehouse, Sami flings a chair across the room. Bobby Knight runs up to her, "That's not the way to do it." He demonstrates, "See, don't release the chair until the last moment and extend your arms to get maximum distance. Throw it at a shallow angle so it doesn't break when it lands. If you want to break the chair, just have a Purdue cheerleader sit on it."

Sami goes to a 9.9 on the wah-wah scale, "I'm stuck in this place and the only call I get is from EJ telling me he's playing house with knocked up Barbie. All men are scum. I hate men!" She turns to Rafe, "I hate all men!"

Rafe asks, "What – did you assume he would be waiting for you on the sidelines? You do recall she's pregnant with his child. At least she told him."

Sami explodes, "Baby or not this is Nicole we are talking about and she is going to screw up his life."

Nicole sits in the rumpus room and ponders the booze. She walks over and starts to pour a drink. Cheery EJ walks in and asks, "Darling, what are you doing?"

Sami continues to do what the criminally insane do when there is no straight jacket round. She continues her 'I hate EJ but really love him' rant and for some reason breaks into song.

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream.


Apparently, Sami's stream has run dry.

Rafe cringes as Sami sings, "You might break something without having to throw it."

Sami vows, "If a happy ending with those two is possible, I'll make sure it doesn't happen."

Nicole tells EJ she was making a kiddie cosmo. She says she went to visit Chloe to wish her luck but she wasn't there. EJ says they need to talk about Stefano. He tells her about the "large hurdle" in their relationship and says Stefano convinced him to get over it, "That hurdle is Samantha."

Rafe says, "You really got it bad for this guy." Sami protests. Rafe cleans up the mess from all the flying chairs. Sami offers to pay for the vase. Rafe asks, "If you're so over EJ why don you care if he moves on with some other woman?"

"Because I'm not just a bipolar nutjob," says Sami, "I'm a self absorbed bipolar nutjob."

Daniel stops copping feels and tells Chloe he will see her tomorrow. He leaves. Outside, Daniel nearly has a stroke and bumps into Lucas, who asks where Chloe is.

Inside, Chloe remembers the tender moment with Dr. Perv. She weighs the possibilities, "Rich Doctor... Unemployable half-wit... Rich Doctor... Unemployable half-wit... Decisions, decisions..."

As EJ attempts to tell Nicole he's giving up on Sami, Nicole misinterprets and flames out, "You've been leading me on!" She won't let him get a word in and stomps out of the room.

Sami keeps it up. She worries about Nicole turning her son against her. She insists she has to find a way to get home. Rafe asks a critical question, "Would that be after the baby is born or before?

Daniel tells Lucas Chloe is fine. Lucas says he saw Kate. Chloe bustles out. Just make sure Chloe gets plenty of rest. They all leave.

Rafe says he thought Sami was conflicted about going home since she's reluctant about showing her pregnancy, "I had your EJ checked out and he's not the monster you've made him out to be". Sami says the monster is Stefano. Rafe says, "There are a lot of people that care about you – including me." Sami's eyes widen.

Nicole is up in the bedroom packing. She's decided it would be best to spend the night in a hotel. EJ stands outside the door and insists she misunderstood him. Nicole can't find Pookie, so she opens the door and EJ comes in. He tells her he talked to Sami, "I told her goodbye. Nicole slowly comes back to earth.

EJ continues, "I told her I needed closure because I'm moving on with you and our rubber baby buggy bumper. I love you." Nicole melts. Smoochies.

Daniel sits with Kate. Chloe and Lucas watch through the blinds. "Tomorrow it will be all over with," says Lucas, "It will be the first day of the rest of our lives." Chloe gives Daniel a look as they leave.

Sami says she doesn't want to be ungrateful but she knows this situation isn't going to last forever, "But the situation with the DiMeras is forever."

"One day at a time," says Rafe, "I've got your back."

A gal from the audience runs out screaming, "I can handle 'It will be the first day of the rest of our lives' or 'One day at a time' or 'I've got your back' but when you practically string them all together in one scene I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

One DOOL writer turns to another and says, "We've got to do something. I think they're trying to tell us the dialogue is awful. Our backs are against the wall."

"You're right," says another writer, "We've got to change things now. There is no tomorrow."


"With you," says Sami, "I do feel safe.

Prevuze

Roman is on the phone, "He's out there somewhere. We'll find him. He's not going to hurt my daughter." Roman tosses the sketch of the assassin onto his table.

The baddies meet at the dock. The assassin pays Tubby, who hands him several snapshots.

"Are you sure this is him," asks the assassin.

We pan in on Rafe's picture. Tubby says, "I guarantee he will lead you to Sami Brady."


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website. Prevuze II should be up no later than noon, Eastern Time.

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16 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

Daniel comes in to see Kate. He tells her he's (say it with him) there for her.

That is unless he’s chasing barely post pubescent girls in school uniforms with very short shirts or grannies going to the salon to get their roots touched up.

Speaking of ranting, Nicole does a pretty good job of that herself, "I was going to put you on the fast track to hell again. I'm selfish and a sociopath.”

Don’t forget manipulative and parasitic, and, of course, those are Nicole’s good points. At least Misty Circle was getting a steady paycheck.

"I'm going to check your lymph nodes," says Daniel. He pokes and prods.

"Hey," says Chloe, "My lymph nodes aren't down there!"


Naughty, naughty, Prevuze!

Sami goes to a 9.9 on the wah-wah scale.

What? She hasn’t dialed it up to an 11 yet?

Rafe asks, "What – did you assume he would be waiting for you on the sidelines? You do recall she's pregnant with his child. At least she told him."

Is Rafe reading this out of the “Guy Manual”?

"Because I'm not just a bipolar nutjob," says Sami, "I'm a self absorbed bipolar nutjob."

Let’s amend that to self absorbed obstreperous bipolar nut job, and, of course, those are Sami’s good points.

Daniel stops copping feels and tells Chloe he will see her tomorrow.

Isn’t Nicole too old for Daniel or is it too young for Daniel? Hard to tell.

We pan in on Rafe's picture. Tubby says, "I guarantee he will lead you to Sami Brady."

This is just beyond stupid. What is the point of having Sami hide in a safehouse if the bad guys somehow figured out that Rafe is guarding, and I use that term loosely, her. Although the DOOL scribes have mastered the fine art of clichéd writing, they can’t get us from point A to point D without leaving out points B and C. In this instance, points B and C would be letting us in on how Skuzzo’s skuzzy informants figured Rafe into Sami’s disappearance.

Now, on to the excellent writing…I loved the Bobby Knight chair throwing reference. Prevuze is awarded two free throws and possession of the ball for pointing out Sami’s technical foul. Let’s hope no one throws a yellow flag for your caption to the Nicole with the laptop photo. OK, I mixed my sports metaphors but what the heck!!

5:40 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Brady says, "People in love don't lie to each other." "You have been out of town a long time, haven't you?" asks Nicole.

Maybe his rehab program wiped out certain parts of his memory.

"I'm extending as we speak," says Sami.

Good one!

”If you want to break the chair, just have a Purdue cheerleader sit on it."

Oh meeeooowwww, Prevuze! Could you possibly have issues with Purdue?? LOLOLOL

At least she told him."

Poor Rafe. He's making the same mistake all us viewers make - trying to apply common sense to someone on this show.

I'm glad to see Prevuze getting great mileage out of Nicole's computer searches. In this case, a recycled picture is a wonderful thing. Thanks Prevuze!

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Berg said...

Oh god - the insanity continues...I think I need a drink and it ain't going to be a kiddie cosmo. I don't even recognize these characters anymore. EJ loves Nicole? That I seriously doubt.

When are we going to get past this whole Sami does she or doesn't she love EJ. Come on...end this maddness...and any pregnant woman who is as far along as Sami would not be making eyes with her "protector" - using term loosely there. This story gets more ridiculous by the minute. Good thing DOOL Doesn't charge by the minute.

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that they have brought "THE ASSASSIN" back into the story I must get this rant off my chest. It's been bugging me for weeks.

WHY is this anonymous assassin hanging around? Unless the "gun for hire" business is brisk in Salem, he was obviously brought in from the outside to knock off Mayor Morono.

What does it matter if Sami saw him? A real hit man would have just collected the money from whoever hired him to do the job and headed back to NY or LA or Singapore. If the Keystone Kops can't find him right under their noses in little ole' Salem, what chance do they have of running him down if he'd just go back where he came from?

Sami is only a danger to him if he sticks around town and the SPD happens to trip over him accidentally.

OK, I'm better now.

KOTU

7:10 AM  
Blogger Alison said...

Being a Hoosier, I LOVED the Bobby Knight comment.

As always, bad episode, great Prevuze. Thanks!

7:28 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Oh meeeooowwww, Prevuze! Could you possibly have issues with Purdue?? LOLOLOL

Now, lets think this thing through here. At the time of the chair-chucking incident, Bob Knight coached Indiana. Indiana's arch rival is Purdue. So this is a very accurate portrayal of something Bob Knight actually might have said. Had Bob Knight been the coach of Ohio State, for example, we would have made the snide remark against Michigan. Had Bob Knight coached the Detroit Lions, we would have made the offending remark about Mrs. Murphy's Girls Nursery School.

Prevuze is all about accuracy in reporting. Well, mostly... well, sometimes... OK, we try really hard to have one accurate statement per episode.

Prevuze - Best Sports Blog on the Internet.®

7:51 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Oh come now Prevuze, today you were really being harsh on our girl Sami :) What??? she's not just a bipolar nutjob, she's a "self absorbed bipolar nutjob"??? I would have never guessed!! Loved all the insidious Sami slander! although I must say she's still my favorite leading lady on DOOL, and I'm sick of seing her being thrown under the bus because of Nicole the infamous slutjob! Urgh! Oh, and I love the reasoning of the DOOL writing team. One time elevator sex equates to EJ saying he loves Nicole? The DOOL writers must have flunked their deductive reasoning class in college. Wait, by this reasoning they could have flunked out of college altogether! And this story line with Sami and Rafe is just a way of passing time until she's un-pregnant again. We're looking at a bleak winter on DOOL folks! The silly madness continues...

8:17 AM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

It wouldn't be the holiday season...if Days sucked any less!

Thanks Prevuze for at least brining some humor to the situation. At this point, I feel like I'm trapped in a bad Passions episode.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Ember said...

I wonder how hard it is to get into a residency program at Salem University Hospital. Imagine the things one could learn under the tutelage of Dr. Dan (and his Bible: The Marvin Gaye Handbook for Medical Practice).

Given that he has such unique (& powerful) "healing" techniques, I'm surprised he withheld the full extent of his care from Bo when he was so sick.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would serve Nicole right to start using cocaine, get caught, and have everyone worrying she was going to have a crack baby.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Had Bob Knight coached the Detroit Lions, we would have made the offending remark about Mrs. Murphy's Girls Nursery School...We try really hard to have one accurate statement per episode.

OK - I'll give you the above accurate statement. LOLOLOL

KOTU

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Late getting to Prevuze today but that only made it better to read the above comments as well as the great Prevuisms.

Like "I don't have thoughts," says Chloe.

Or that gal screaming from the audience. She'd better not come back into the room because she might hear another sappy cliche on the previews with Kate telling Dr. Dan thank you for making life worth living. GAG! He's a sleaze, isn't he? Thinking of Kate when he's with the brat, thinking of Chloe when he's with Kate....

Thanks, Prevuze, for warming our hearts on a cold snowy day. You make life worth living. HAHAHAHA

10:49 AM  
Anonymous WingNut '75 said...

Had Bob Knight coached the Detroit Lions, we would have made the offending remark about Mrs. Murphy's Girls Nursery School.

Come on - the Lions have dropped Mrs. Murphy's school from their schedule as opponents. The girls were injuring too many of the Lions so they just signed Mrs. Murphy's girls up for the team instead!

Love the picture with Nicole searching for slut - but shouldn't she have been searching for slam-hog instead? Just askin'...

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can see it now...Sami gives up her baby for adoption and Nichol adopts it... How lame is this show getting...

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DOOL gets worse with each passing day. I am so sick to death of Sami and her stupidtiy. EJ in love with Nicole? Ridiculous! The Daniel/Kate/Chelsea and now Chloe story line is too painful to watch. How the writers are allowed to continue with this cr@p is beyond belief. DOOL should take a look at Y&R. Their storylines are at some level believable AND there is no Marlena (way past her use-by-date). Don't want to offend any fans of the above but they bore me or at least their storylines do. Lift your game writers.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous crpedm said...

If you want to break the chair, just have a Purdue cheerleader sit on it."

No, no, if you want a chair broken, you have to have an Alabama cheerleader sit on it. Purdue cheerleaders are sickly waifs compared to the ones at Alabama. :)

4:07 AM  

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