Monday, June 11, 2007

Hi! I'm Stephanie! Fly me!

Jeremy slithers across the room trying to come on to Chelsea. He is indignant at her lack of interest. He wants to know if Chelsea has a problem with him. "Let's see," she says, "Aside from you insulting my boyfriend and thinking you are too cool for school... no problem at all."

She tells him if he would be a little nicer to Nick, he might tell him what it's like to have a brain. She tells him to get dressed. Jeremy thinks she's diggin' his nakedness. He tells her to lighten up. Chelsea says, "I really don't need to be taking advice from you."

Jeremy says, "What you need is written all over your face." He kisses her.

Shawn opens the envelope and looks at the results, "She lied. It's not my baby."

The evil forklift closes in on Sami and EJ. Sami screams. In the next room, Lucas struggles to untie himself. He gets the door open as the forklift closes in on Sami and EJ, crushing everything in its path.

Chelsea pulls away and threatens to rip his eyes out. Jeremy says he likes a girl who plays rough. Chelsea gets nasty. Jeremy claims he was just goofing around. She threatens to call Stephanie. He tells her to go ahead, because Stephanie knows him and would know he wasn't serious. He apologizes for being an ass.

She accepts his apology but that doesn't change the fact that he's an ass, "It just comes naturally to you."

Brainiac wonders why Willow would have faked it and claimed he was the father, "I'm not exactly a stand up guy."

"You're not exactly a Rhodes Scholar either if you can't figure that one out," says Bo.

Nick comes in and Shawn shows him the results. Roman tells Nick he is a free man, "Case closed." Bo tells him about Willow's letter and says she confessed to setting the fire, so Chelsea is off the hook, too. Roman leaves.

The forklift closes in. Sami screams. Suddenly, she is alone. She screams for EJ. Fear not! Lucas jumps into the empty seat of the forklift and brings it to a halt, saving our damsel in distress.

Well I plopped down in my easy chair and turned on Channel Two

A bad gun slinger called Salty Sam was a chasin' poor Sweet Sue

He trapped her in the old sawmill and he said with an evil laugh

If you don't gimme the deed to your ranch I'll saw you all in half

And then he grabbed her (and then) he tied her up (and then)
He turned on the buzz saw (and then and then)

And then along came Jones tall thin Jones

Slow walking Jones (deep voice) slow talking Jones

Along came long lean lanky Jones

Chelsea wonders why Jeremy does things like that. He claims it's his way of blowing off steam. She tells him they have to set boundaries if they are going to be living and working together. He's OK with that, but they are late for Stephanie's shindig. Chelsea says she can't go. She's waiting for an important phone call. He reminds her there are these things called cell phones. Then, he pulls rank as the captain of Fly-By-Night Airlines. He thinks the whole gang needs to be there to get the company kicked off right. Well, the whole gang except for Max. He's only supplying the money. He wants some support, "And if you don't go, Stephanie and Jett will be disappointed." He goes up to dress.

Chelsea calls and leaves a message for Nick. Jeremy comes back down and she tells him she's not going. Jeremy sarcastically says he will tell Stephanie and Jett she has something better to do. Chelsea breaks down and agrees to go.

He tells her to bring her iPod, "So we don't get stuck with Stephanie's collection of TV show losers."

"What," asks Chelsea, "You mean like the cast of Days Of Our Lives?" As they rush out the door, Chelsea leaves her cell phone on the table. Just as the door closes, Nick calls.

It's tough for Shawn to shake the guilt. If he was having unprotected sex with Willow, it may be tough for him to shake something else, too. He says Willow's baby was innocent and never stood a chance. Bo thinks the baby was just another one of Willow's victims. Shawn thinks Willow was a victim too. She had a good heart and he stomped on it. Bo tells him not to beat himself up. Shawn thinks he should at least pay for the funeral.

Nick leaves a message for Chelsea. He tells her it's good news and he can't wait to see her tonight.

Sami says she thought Lucas was driving the forklift. Lucas says the real driver jumped off at the last minute. He wonders what she is doing there. She says Stefano summoned her. He asks if coming was worth the big risk, and tells her about Julie translating the letter. He takes out his phone to call Roman and Bo.

The sound of moaning in the distance interrupts them. Sami says it's EJ and she tells Lucas they have to help him.

Bo thinks Shawn is doing a good thing. Unfortunately, Shawn has a small problem, "I am so broke burglars broke in the other night and left me money." He asks to borrow money form Bo and swears he will get his job back. Nick interrupts with a crisis. Chelsea isn't picking up her cell phone. Shawn suggests going to the pub to wait.

Stephanie answers her door and invites everyone in. She gives Jeremy a tonsillectomy to get the party started.

Chelsea watches the show, "Are they always like this?"

"Pretty much," says Jett.

"Poor Stephanie."

Stephanie suggests serving drinks to the boys so they can practice their flight attendant come-on routine.

Chelsea asks if they don't just hand the passengers the little bottles and leave it at that. Jeremy says, "Touch the sky is a full service airline."

I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means," says Chelsea.

Stephanie sashays up to Jeremy, "Coffee, tea or me?" Jeremy orders a scotch... neat.

Stephanie says there is no chance her parents will show up since they are off in the South Pacific deprogramming. Translation: Patch and Kayla are probably at the door right now. She drags Chelsea into the kitchen as she announces they have a surprise, "Fasten your seat belts and get ready to fly the friendly skies."

Sami and Lucas dig EJ out of the rubble. Lucas stops for a minute and just stands there. He's enjoying the irony of freeing EJ. Lucas asks why EJ brought her there. Sami claims it was her decision. She tells him Stefano said he would be willing to make a deal and end the vendetta.

"In exchange for what," asks Lucas.

"It doesn't matter," says Sami. Lucas demands to know. EJ tells him Stefano said he would end the vendetta if Sami would Mary him and raise their child as a DiMera. Lucas stares.

The boys wait for their big surprise. To pass the time, Jett makes fun of Patch and Kayla's music, "Man, they're really stuck in the eighties... Dire straits... Phil Collins..."

The girls come out dressed in their retro flight attendant uniforms, complete with mini-skirts and three sizes too small. Jeremy's eyes pop out, "You guys are HOT!" Jett agrees.

Stephanie walks over to Jeremy, "Hi! I'm Stephanie! Fly me!" Jeremy is ready for take-off.

"This is getting old," says Chelsea. Jett suggests he and Chelsea take a walk.

"Not dressed like this," says Chelsea. No problem. Jett gives her his shirt so everybody can be half naked.

"Now you're all covered up," says Jett.

"And you're not," says Chelsea. They leave.

Shawn and Nick sit in the pub and toast Willow, "May she rest in piece." They decide she got them both in the end. She left Shawn with a double funeral and Nick with an apartment he doesn't want. Nick thinks he should have been able to save her.

Shawn says, "You did everything that you could."

Nick says, "I'm not so sure I did."

Sami insists she turned Stefano down. Lucas rants. EJ tells him this is Tony's work. Lucas doesn't care what DiMera did it, "They are all the same." EJ insists he is wrong. He asks Lucas to call a paramedic. Lucas walks away. EJ asks if Sami thinks he set this up. Of course she does.

EJ doesn't deny this is what he wanted, but asks why Tony would try to kill him too if he was in on setting it up. He insists his life is in danger too, and nobody in her family is safe.

Bo thanks Roman for giving Nick and Chelsea a break. He says he has to go meet Hope, Doug and Julie in the tunnel. Bo's cell phone rings. It's Lucas. Bo gets the story and tells Roman about the forklift caper. Batman and Robin head for the warehouse.

Stephanie and Jeremy romp. Stephanie wonders where Chelsea and Jett went. Jeremy thinks they probably got a head start in the bedroom. Stephanie tells him Chelsea is saving herself for Nick.

Jeremy thinks this calls for a pizza. Stephanie picks up her phone and orders one as Jeremy hauls her into the bedroom.

Shawn tells Nick to go easy on the beer.

Nick swills, "Let's all toast Nick the felon... A man among men." Shawn suggests he go home and sleep it off. Nick says he's supposed to meet Chelsea, but she's not answering his calls. You know why," he slurs, "Becaushe I'm a losher.

Chelsea and Jett come back to Bo and Hope's house. She checks her phone for messages, sees she has one from Nick and listens. She's excited that it's good news. She returns his call, gets voice mail and leaves a message. She doesn't understand why he's not answering. She tries the landline and leaves another message. "I don't get it. Is he mad at me or something?" She tells Jett they had important plans.

Jett thinks he should get going, "The party's over." He asks if she will be OK.

"I'm fine," she lies. She pauses a moment and then says, "No. Nothing's fine."

Nick sucks down another beer. He thinks Chelsea is only with him because she feels sorry for him. She won't call him because he disgusts her, "Or it occurred to her that I did it." Flashback to Willow's death. He thinks Chelsea is afraid of him now because he killed Willow. Shawn thinks it's not in him to kill someone.

Nick wonders why she hasn't called him back. Suddenly, he remembers the situation with Claire. He feels guilty about going on and on when Shawn's daughter is lost. Shawn looks at Nick's phone and sees he has a message. Nick remembers he left his phone on silent before the inquisition.

"Now she will never shleep with me," says Nick, "Tonight wash shupposed to be our firsht night together. But it appearsh she has chanched her mind."

The pot calls the kettle black, "Hello... idiot... she left you a message. Get over there right now."

Shawn sits alone and contemplates a picture of Claire. He wonders why Belle hasn't called. He dials and asks for the number of Midway airlines, "Reservations, please."

Chelsea cries. She apologizes to Jett. She says she and Nick had plans for tonight, and can't understand why he isn't calling her. She thinks she should never have missed his calls in the first place. She tells Jett lately things have gotten complicated with Nick, "He slept with my mom."


"It only happened once," she says, "And we moved on."

"Or maybe you didn't," says Jett. Chelsea says she wants to trust Nick but doesn't know if she will ever be able to. Jett hugs her and comforts her.

With the timing you only find in DOOL, Nick walks in, "Hey Chelsea I'm ready for... our date."

Jet asks, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," says Nick, "But you're about to get your ass kicked."

Jett isn't in the mood to kill anyone today, "Chill, bro."

Bo and Roman have arrived at the warehouse. Lucas rants. EJ tells him he's forgetting he was a target too. EJ doesn't think they are safe while Tony calls the shots. Roman decides he is going to put Sami in a safe house. EJ claims he saved Sami's life. Sami backs him up. Lucas is going to take her home but wants a cop outside the door 24-7. He and Sami leave.

Roman tells EJ he's holding him responsible for figuring out a way to stop Tony and Stefano.

Meanwhile, the doorbell rings back at the Jeremy-Stephanie love nest.

Jeremy comes out of the bedroom wrapped in a towel and says he needs cash for the pizza. Stephanie tells him to get it from her purse.

Jeremy answers the door and tells the deliveryman, "Keep the change."

"I intend to."

Stephanie comes out wrapped in her own towel. Jeremy serves the pizza, "Nothing like a ride in Jeremy land to work up and appetite."

The doorbell rings again. Towel-clad Jeremy answers it to find Patch and Adrienne standing there. Patch asks, "Who the hell are you?" Jeremy drops his jaw. FF.


Chelsea says, "Nick's really out of control for some reason." Jett says, "Two things make a guy like that crazy – alcohol... and love."

Bo, Hope, Julie and Doug are in the tunnel. Bo yells, "Hey, you guys, come over here. I think I found what we're looking for." Hope rushes over and they look down some kind of shaft.

Shawn finds Belle and Phillip in each other's arms, "So, any luck on finding Claire, or are you guys too busy to look?"

Stephanie screams at Patch, "It doesn't matter what you think. He's who I want to sleep with. If you don't like it, that's too damn bad!"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You really missed an opportunity here dear prevuze...

Roman tells EJ he's holding him responsible for figuring out a way to stop Tony and Stefano.

Maybe it was just too obvious.

Why would anyone expect Roman and the Salem PD to come up with a way to stop the bad guys?

4:18 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Sex sex sex, nothing but sex, thank GOD Sister Kayla and Father Steve show up just in time! After all who do these young whippersnappers think they are? John and Marlena?

Recycled script alert!
Nick gets drunk and whines about Chelsea.....Shawn gets drunk and whines about Belle....CALLING BULLDOG!!!!

6:31 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

"So broke robbers broke in and left ME money ..." LMAO!!!! I was having a really bad morning until I read Prevuze -- better than a shot of lithium!

And Patch and ADRIENNE show up at the door? Where's Kayla? She and Claire sharing a little "girl time" shopping on that sandy beach?

6:39 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

thank GOD Sister Kayla and Father Steve show up

Sorry about that, guys. On second look, it was Steve and Adrienne standing at the door. I've made the correction in today's posting. It's tough to type and watch at the same time. I'm making some headway on that walking and chewing gum thing, though.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

You really missed an opportunity here dear prevuze...

Thanks for fielding that one for us, Anon. DOOL is just a cornucopia of dissing opportunities, isn't it?

6:54 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

better than a shot of lithium!

What an endorsement. John Black couldn't have said it better.

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohhh hold me back, this episode has sooo many 'bad points'!

1st - Earth to Shawn, Hello Loser, you're offering to pay for Willow & the baby's funeral out of guilt?
Let's see, you're broke, you don't have a job, and you're not even helping find your OTHER kid...!!!! You could have your pick of reasons to feel guilty!!!!

2nd - Does Shawn let Nick DRIVE to Chelsea's? Isn't he drunk??? Again, Shawn you're smart as a whip, you are!!!!LOL!!!

3rd - Roman is going to place Sami in a 'safe house'. From who??? The only one who is harming Sami ... is Sami... She keeps 'volunteering herself' (and the baby) into these dangerous spots!!!! Oh and Lucas... BIG MAN - I want a cop posted 24/7... You're tough alright!!!! You better post a cop by the door just to keep Sami IN the house!

and finally:
In the Previews: Bo yells to Julie, Hope and Doug, "Hey guys, I think I found what we're looking for!" WHHHAAATTT????? They went there NOT KNOWING what they were looking for... how could he have found 'IT'??? WHATEVER 'IT' is!!!!

Ok, I'm done ranting and raving about the writer's 'mess ups!' C'mon writers - quit making the 'fine people of Salem' all out to be total idiots!!!! LOL!

Prevuze, keep up the GREAT work!!!!!

7:16 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Yes, Deb, there are almost too many recycled script opportunities to count - in each DOOL episode! HAHAHAHA

And I had the same thought, Anonymous...what on earth good will it do to put a cop ouside Sami's door? She'll just sneak out the window ten seconds after Lucas leaves.

I wonder if a few days on Tinda Lao with Kayla and Steve will miraculously be cured? Never mind he tried to kill Bo and took Squints' kidney, etc.

I LOL over Jeremy's picture and Jr. having to shake something else off after being with Willow. HAHAHAHHA Excellent Prevuze to get us thru a dreary Monday! :D

8:09 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

"Fly By Night" Airlines - a much more apt name I'm sure.

LOL at the horses ass picture. In fact, ALL the pictures deserve a shout-out! Prevuze and its contributors just keep getting better and better. Even throwing in old classic like that Ray Steven's song. (Do I have the correct artist? That sounded right until I typed it. HA)

Another missed Prevuze opportunity: Chelsea observes, "This is getting old." The audience, as one, yells, "AMEN!"

Great Prevuze, as usual.

8:29 AM  
Anonymous DaisyCake said...

so, Jeremy is Mike Horton's kid? Is that right? And Jett is Abe's what? Nephew?

And who are Nick's parents? How does he fit in this picture?

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Since Las Vegas has legalized prostitution, I'm gonna be the first one to guess that "Fly By Night Airlines" is going to be "Fly The Hooker's Friendly Skies" baoum chicka bawrawr...

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Willow's Ghost said...

When did Los Vegas legalize prostitution? Damn! I could have had a career.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Las Vegas has not legalized prositution. It is legal everywhere within the State of Nevada EXCEPT in Clark County.

Nick's parents are Jessica Blake and Josh Fallon.

Jessica's parents (Nick's grandparents) are Marie Horton and Alex Marshall.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Vampire Bear said...

Starting tomorrow you'll be able to get episodes of DOOL on itunes - the first one being today, the June 11th episode.

Hopefully they will also put out classic super spiffy episodes as well.

It's going to be $1.99 each or a 20 episode pass for $9.99

3:11 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Sorry Vampire Bear but this kinda looks like SPAM.

If you want this kind of thing posted you should really get Prevuze permission first.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Sorry Vampire Bear but this kinda looks like SPAM.

Thanks, Deb, but this one is OK. VB is an old regular we haven't heard from in a while. A post from Vampire Bear always gives us paws.


It's going to be $1.99 each or a 20 episode pass for $9.99

That's how much they pay us, right?

3:46 PM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Las Vegas has not legalized prositution. It is legal everywhere within the State of Nevada EXCEPT in Clark County.

Oops my bad. Someone stop Willow's Ghost from running to Vega$!!!

I do have to say, Deb that is so sad you know that! :-)

3:50 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Sincere apologies Vampire Bear, gonna just go MYOB from now on. Just like Maggie Horton, yep thats me.....LOL

Theresa, no need to feel sad for me, I have always had a secret desire to move to Nevada and be a madam.

I have no idea how itunes expects ANYONE to pay for DOOL episodes when there are tons of places all over the internet where you can watch it for free, including

8:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Does anyone else think of Austin Powers when EJ & Sami are tied up? When that steam roller is headed for Autsin and it's going super slow and really far away! LOL

7:40 AM  
Anonymous hellbent@dool.iluvfancykrane said...

wow, last time i posted (which you know when) there were like ALOT more people posting, 6! but this time wow! prevuze, you have really taken off!! or been held guilty for inciting a gang of crazies to riot! i'm not sure yet, i need rolf to give me my morning shot!

i looked back in your admirable archives of dool insanities to find just this one ep, where in fact i resume today from a long break from dool...every ep taped tho:D (oh look, julie doug hope and beau are just entering the tunnel)
and i looked back to post this:

with nick nearly falling over drunk, shawn looks positively smart, and that is a rare and odd look on new shawn to be sure :D

thanks prevuze, and i can't wait to look at how many posters there are in ANOTHER x months:D

ps: excited to see just exactly what prevuze II is!

11:43 AM  

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