Monday, April 02, 2007

My Man-Badge

Jack knocks at Abby's door as panic reigns inside. Max hides. Abby goes to the door and opens it. She tells Jack she was getting ready for bed. She's suddenly too tired for Times Square. Jack comes into the room. He thinks he's been coming down too hard about Max. Abby really doesn't want to talk about that. Max listens as Jack says he has to tell her why he is so "anti-Max."

Kayla comes into Patch's room. Patch greets her in Italian.

"Who told you," asks Kayla.

"The voices in my head keep me well-informed," says Patch, "You never should have gone. Are you trying to be some kind of martyr?"

Kayla says she did what she had to do and will keep doing it in order to put EJ away. Patch sighs.

Nick is at Sami's door. She invites him is as he rattles off the story of what happened back at the lab, "The blank report is about to hit the fan. I caught EJ hacking into the computer at the lab. He was looking at your files."

"Why did he have to break in to do that," asks Sami, "I thought Salem Hospital posts everyone's medical records on the Internet"

Lucas tells a doctor about being called to the hospital. The doctor tells Lucas there has been a mix-up. EJ listens and smiles.

Gabby says, "Where Shawn and Belle are is anybody's guess." Shawn watches. Phillip pouts. Kate consoles. She suggests going to Sidney and picking up their trail. Phillip tells Mommy he's going to hold his breath until he gets his way.

Abby asks Jack not to explain his feelings about Max. Jack tries to anyway, but Abby stops him. She's tired. Jack agrees to leave her alone. He tells her he thinks she is levelheaded and trusts her judgment no matter how he feels about Max. Abby thanks him and ushers him to the door. Once he's gone she rushes in to get Max.

Max chuckles, "That was interesting."

Some guy in the audience shouts, "Not if you're watching the show."

Abby tells him Jack doesn't hate him. He just took their friendship for more than it is, "There is nothing to it, is there?"

Kayla says she has evidence from Italy. Patch lectures her for getting involved in this. The fact that he forced her into it by making her yank John's kidney seems to have escaped his mind. He thinks she's lucky she got out of Italy alive. Now she's on even more thin ice.

Kayla asks, "Did EJ say something? Did he threaten me?"

Patch is in a bad mood, "Leave it alone."

Sami grills Nick. Nick says he doesn't know what EJ saw, but it must have been something, "Why is he so interested in your baby?"

Lucas thinks the doctor misunderstood. She says she doesn't know a Dr. Young but will check on it. The Dr. leaves and EJ comes up to Lucas.

Phillip says he thinks the payment Gabby got was pretty steep, "They must've racked up a pretty big Mimi-bar bill." He tells her when he gave the ring to Belle he believed in honoring his country and wedding vows. People made promises to him and broke them. They ripped his daughter away from him. He learned not to trust anyone. While Phillip rants, Shawn sneaks upstairs. Phillip says, "I don't believe you, which is why I'm not leaving here until I know for a fact you are telling the truth."

EJ says, "I'm here for my annual exam. The doctors are still trying to figure out how a person can live without a heart." Lucas says he's there to see Sami's doctor.
EJ hopes nothing is wrong with Sami. Lucas asks, "Why don't you just get over it?"
EJ asks, "Get over what?"

Lucas says, "Your sick obsession with Sami – that's what."

Sami tells Nick this is none of his business. Nick reminds her she made it his business when she drug him into it, so he wants to know what is going on, "It's EJ, isn't it? He thinks your baby is his.

Sami asks if Nick can keep a secret. Nick reminds her even dead people don't keep secrets in Salem. She insists Lucas is the father, "There is no way that this baby is EJ's. It is totally and completely impossible."

Nick asks, "Then why is he so curious?" Sami bawls. Nick wants the truth.

Shawn rushes up to their room, "Belle! Phillip is downstairs and he's determined to find us. The window is our only way out. I'll get my motorcycle!" Belle has a hissy-fit. She's worried about dropping Claire out of the window.

Claire sits in her crib and thinks, "Where is Child Protective Services when you need them?"

Shawn says, "A normal human being would have given up by now, but this is Phillip. God knows he's not normal. It's always going to be like this. We will have to stay one step ahead of him for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Blithering Belle babbles, "I'm not going anywhere!"

Phillip says he's going upstairs. Gabby stalls him and says the guests there deserve their privacy. She claims Shawn and Belle are gone.

Kate looks at the hotel registry and drones matter-of-factly, "I found them. Room 202."

Phillip just doesn't know what he would do without Mommie Dearest. He promises her he will stop using those dreadful wire hangers as he bolts upstairs. Gabby chases.

Conveniently, there isn't another flight, so, drat the bad luck, Max figures he is stuck there, "I wouldn't mind spending the night with–- in New York." He says he will find a cheap hotel. Max obviously has been breathing too many gas fumes. Abby reminds him there are no cheap hotels in New York. He obviously will have to stay there. Max can't imagine what this place would cost. Abby means he should stay in her room, not get one of his own.

Max says, "If your dad found out he would kill us."

Abby gets close, "I can keep it quiet if you can. There isn't anyone else I would rather spend this night with." Closer... closer... Someone knocking at the door interrupts the festivities. Abby answers to find the brat standing there.

Sami can't tell Nick the whole thing but she says she didn't have an affair with EJ. Nick figures it out, "Did he rape you."

Sami begs him not to get involved. Nick insists he already is. Sami wants him to leave and pretend the conversation never happened. Nick tells her he will, but predicts EJ won't let this go.

Lucas puts his mouth on autopilot. He has had enough. He's sick of EJ hanging around. It was inappropriate for him to drag Sami into the bedroom at the shower. EJ makes excuses for doing that. Lucas doesn't want him anywhere near Sami.

Kayla says, "I want my husband back the way he used to be – a defensive loudmouth with a chip on his shoulder."

Patch growls, "That man is dead and gone. These are really bad people you are dealing with."

"You're wrong," says Kayla, "I've never had any contact with the DOOL writers." Kayla says she isn't afraid. Patch tells her she's too stubborn for her own good. She asks if he wants to see what she brought back form Stefano's room.

Patch is stunned. He can't believe she actually saw Stefano. Kayla pulls out her cell phone and shows him the pictures from her vacation, "Look at this... The incision... The ring... The kidney with the inscription, 'PROPERTY OF JOHN BLACK.'"

"All this shows is the dude got a new kidney," says Patch, "It doesn't tie EJ to the crime."

"That's where you come in," says Kayla.

Phillip crashes through the door to the room like Shawn taking a Sunday drive into a suburban living room. A stranger turns around and says, "Who the hell are you?"

The brat has told Abby about the fire and robbery at Bo and Hope's house, and asks if she believes her. Of course Abby does. Chelsea tells her, "All that will change when they find out her hairbrush was there." Abby says they can't talk.

"Why not," asks the brat, "It's just the two of us." Max walks out of the bathroom. Chelsea swallows her tongue.

Abby explains, "Max was in New York on a layover, uh, perhaps I should say stopover, and he's staying here." The brat gets the picture. She starts to leave. Abby insists Max is there just as a friend. The brat can hang there, too, "In fact, the more the merrier, right Max?" Now it's Max' turn to swallow his tongue.

Sami insists she can handle EJ. She will fight EJ with whatever she's got. Nick says, "That's always been your MO, hasn't it?"

"No," says Sami, "I've never even been to Missouri." Nick begs her to be careful. Sami agrees. Nick leaves. On the way out Sami thanks him. Back inside, Sami gives us that empty DOOL stare.

EJ says he gets the message. He thinks 'obsession' is a little strong, however, "I think you feel threatened by me."

"The day I'm threatened by you is the day I turn in my man-badge," says Lucas, "But I'm keeping my Captain Crunch decoder ring no matter what."

Lucas wonders why EJ hasn't moved. EJ says he should be moving shortly. Lucas can't wait. EJ insists he has no interest in Sami. Lucas says actions speak louder than words. Unless you happen to be Lucas. He has too many words to clutter his life with actions.

The doctor walks up and tells Lucas she checked and there is no Dr. Young at the hospital. Lucas tells her not to tell Sami about this incident. The doctor leaves. Lucas says, "That goes for you too, EJ."

The stranger insists he is alone in the room. Gabby hauls Kate and Phillip back out into the hall. Phillip asks witch room is Gabby's. He grabs her keys and sees it's room 303. He turns and shouts, "Shawn and Belle I'm coming in after you!" The kiddie corps cowers inside.

Max, Abby and Chelsea sit around a table in the hotel room laughing it up and tossing food into each other's mouths. Jack knocks at the door. Max heads back to the bathroom. Abby answers. Jack wants to know what all the noise is about. Abby turns and shows him that Chelsea is there.

Jack sees the table sitting there with enough food to serve the seventh fleet and says, "That's a lot of food for you two."

"Don't worry," says Abby, "We're purging frequently." He tells them to enjoy themselves and keep it down, the noise that is. They can do whatever they want with the food. He leaves. Max comes back in. Abby suggests they should go to bed just to be safe.

"One problem," says Max, "There is only one bed."

"Don't worry," says Abby, "Somehow, we'll ménage."

Gabby grabs the key. Phillip wrestles with her, "Give it to me or I'm kicking this door in, too."

"One door per customer," says Gabby.

Kate tries to get him to let go. Phillip hurls his body into the door. Shawn pushes on the door from the other side. Belle looks for a place to hide.

Duck comes up and grabs Phillip. Gabby says, "He's looking for Shawn and Belle, you know that nice couple who was here. I told him they checked out, but he doesn't believe me."

"I don't," says Phillip, "So you can tell me the real story."

Duck introduces himself and also claims Shawn and Belle left, "I never liked them all that much anyway. You bust another door and I'll take it personal." Phillip hands him a wad-o-cash to fix the door, and leaves.

Duck turns to Gabby, "OK, does that get me out of your doghouse?" He goes to make sure Kate and Phillip have left.

Gaby shouts through the door and tells Shawn and Belle it's OK to come out. Out in the hall, Shawn thanks the stranger for covering for them. Shawn and Belle thank Gabby for all she has done. Gabby asks if they will reconsider staying. Claire sits back in the room wondering if she can swim to Australia by herself.


EJ knocks at Sami's door, "I want to talk to you."

Wally Cleaver answers. Remember the other day when you thought maybe there was a small seismic event? That must've been the day Will got his haircut. Someone losing that much hair would have caused the earth to shift on it's axis. He says he will give Sami the message and closes the door.

Sami walks into the room, "Hey, Buzz, was there someone at the door?"

"EJ," says Buzz, "And he didn't look too happy."

Kayla says if Patch testifies they can put EJ away. Patch refuses. "This is real life – there are no fairy talk endings."

"This is DOOL," says Kayla, "There are no endings at all." He tells her to go see Stephanie. He can't protect her. Kayla resists. Patch begs, "Promise me you will stay away from those people."

He pins her down. Kayla screams, "NO! STOP IT!" Patch kisses her.

Chelsea offers to pass out on the couch. Max insists the two of them take the bed. He apologizes to Abby for creating such a commotion. She says she likes it when he's a gentleman.

"Don't' tell anybody," says Max.

Gabby says if Shawn fixes her boat, she will let them take it to Australia. She isn't worried about getting it back because she knows every fisherman in the South Pacific, "I'm an easy catch but they keep throwing me back." Shawn decides they can stay for a while. He leaves with Claire.

Belle apologizes for thinking Gabby was after Shawn. She asks Gabby not to say anything to him about it. Gabby promises.

Patch gets up. Kayla staggers to the door and knocks. He begs her to promise she will stay away form "those people."

Kayla turns and sneers, "You wanna save my life? Testify against EJ Wells." She leaves. Patch drops onto the bed in a heap.

Buzz and Lucas make evil plans for the tricks they are going to pull at the wedding. They decide they'll have everyone paint there faces green since it's a green wedding, "And we'll need at least 100 whoopee cushions," says Lucas. Sami isn't interested in joking around. Lucas repeats the green-face thing and we share a fabricated family moment.

EJ walks to his apartment door talking on the phone, "How is Samantha's schedule tomorrow? Really? The Brady pub! That's perfect!"


Lucas says to Sami, "I was trying to protect you. That's what people do when they love somebody right?"

Chelsea asks, "Why would I go back to Salem when the only thing waiting for me is a prison cell?"

Phillip visits Willow in the hoosegow, "If you want me to come the next time you call, you damn well better tell me right now." Willow says, "OK-OK-OK! It was EJ Wells."

Kayla tells EJ, "I'm not giving up until you are arrested and put away where you cannot hurt anyone – in a coffin."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How come Kayla's "staggering" to the door? Is she upset or turned on?

5:24 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

How come Kayla's "staggering" to the door? Is she upset or turned on?

He nearly raped her as she screamed "NO! STOP!" I'd vote for "upset." Or do you agree with a lot of guys that "NO" doesn't really mean "NO" ?????

5:48 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

Actually, there WAS an earthquake and small tsunami near Australia yesterday. It must've been either the imbalance from Will's hair or the ocean trying to keep Belch/Claire out.

Fantastic Prevuisms today - the window is the only way so I'll get my motorcycle, I've never been to Missouri and Lucas' whoopee cushions just to name a few. HAHAHAHAHA

GREAT way to start the week, I needed the laughs!

8:21 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Just saw today's show and got a look at the nuAbby. Anyone else think she looks a little like a thinner, taller, blonder Mimi?? Just asking.

Lot's of goodies in today's Prevuze: Man-badge; Bed, Bath and Great Beyond; "so what if you're Mom's a hooker"; and "somehow we'll menage."

Between Prevuze and actually seeing the sun today, I'm pretty happy for a Monday.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think she looks more like that person who played Belle between Kirsten and Martha, but I can't remember her name.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't remember her name either, but bless her heart, she was a terrible actress!

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Paula said...

I think her name was Chastity Rhemer.

1:20 PM  
Blogger FROG said...

Or her first name might've been Charity. Anyway, I didn't notice her listed as an Emmy nominee that's for sure.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I think it actually was Charity. Chastity and DOOL don't mix.

3:14 PM  
Blogger jenni said...

great prevuisms today...keep the noise down, i dont care what you do with the food...we'll ménage, the motorcycle...all very funny!

6:29 AM  

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