Friday, April 20, 2007

Lady, You Have Lost Your Mind

Yesterday, we left our heroine, Smokin' Sami, standing in the CENTER of a room doused with gasoline with a lit match. The question on everyone's mind is: If Sami is dumb enough to let the town wacko talk her into killing someone, is she also dumb enough to toss that match into the gas-soaked room. The entire world holds its breath to see if Sami is merely another dumb blonde, or if she will reach the pinnacle of stupidity by killing herself and qualifying for the coveted Darwin Award...

Shawn comes into the cabin where Belle languishes reading a magazine. He tells her she can go on her walk and he will watch Claire but moody Belle don' wanna. With that out of the way, Shawn brings up the privacy screen he set up on the boat. He thought it would be easier to sleep in the same room but it's not. Belle wants to know why it always has to come down to sex. Shawn claims it doesn't but he wanted to talk about it since she is talking to others about it – namely Gabby. Belle denies it. "You told Gabby we were a couple," says Shawn, "You told her to stay away from me. In other words, you don't want me but you don't want someone else to have me. Unless I'm wrong about that, too."

"It makes sense in my world," says Belle.

Kayla and Stephanie have arrived at the cuckoo's nest to see Patch. They walk into his room. He's writhing and moaning on his bed. Stephanie walks up to him. Steve moans, "No!"

Stephanie leans down over him and says, "Papa? Papa?" She turns him over and sees his injuries, "OMG! What did they do to you?"

Roman and Abe are at dinner. Roman is thrilled to find out Abe is going in for another corneal transplant. Zack's eyes didn't do the job. Roman will keep the commissioner's seat warm for Abe until he returns. He asks Abe if Celeste had anything to do with this. "She's a formidable woman," says Abe.

Kate rushes up to their table. She needs Roman's help right away. "Kate," says Roman, "We're right in the middle of something here. It's called dinner."

"I know," says Kate, "But Sami's done something terrible, or she's about to. You're the only one who can stop her."

Meanwhile, Sami's right in the middle of something. It's called a gasoline soaked room. She holds the lit match over EJ's unconscious body and tells him she has no choice. HE made her do this. She agonizes over the flame, which burns down to the end and singes her fingers. She lights another and agonizes, "DAMMIT! I CAN'T DO THIS! No matter how sick and twisted you are."

Belle has a hissy-fit. She should have known Shawn would go running to Gabby. Shawn says that's not what he did, but he can't go on like this. Belle thinks he's giving her an ultimatum, "How long do I have before you go running to other women for comfort?"

That's not it," says Shawn, "I want to love you. I'm going to bed." He flops down on his bed. Sans privacy screen.

Kate tells Roman and Abe the saga of her evening. She says Sami has eloped with EJ. Roman can't believe they are getting this kind of hilarious entertainment at dinner and didn't even have to pay a cover charge. Kate tells him to stop patronizing her and goes on to tell him about hearing a woman say Sami's name before the phone went dead. Kate thinks Roman needs to get over there right away, wherever there is. Roman stops chuckling long enough to stand up and say, "You know what I need to do? I need to call you a cab. And in the morning you need to make an appointment with Marlena, because, lady, you have lost your mind."

Sami blows out the match and asks EJ why he has done it to her. she thought they were friends. But he was just out to make his daddy proud, "For that you raped me. You have been torturing me ever since. Lucas loves me and has forgiven me so many times. He doesn't deserve any of this. He is my future and my baby's hope. And I am not gonna let you destroy that future."

She stands up and lights another one, "This is for John and my mother. This is for Steve and Aunt Kayla. This is for..." About a half hour passes while she names everyone in the clan. By this time, I'm surprised the gasoline hasn't all evaporated.. She dangles the match, "I hope you burn in hell. In fact, I think I'll help give you a head start."


Shawn and Belle lie in the dark in their twin beds. Shawn hears a knock at the door, puts on his trousers and gets up to answer it. Gabby stands there and tells him she thinks the GPS is broken. Shawn goes out into the hall with her to help. Belle wakes up and stares that blank stare of hers.

Stephanie frets over what remains of Patch' face, which has the look of fresh meat after it has been through a tenderizer. He assures her he is OK, and doesn't want to talk about it. he wants to hear about her. Kayla goes to get a doctor. Stephanie begs him to let her help, "Please, tell me who did this to you."

"The makeup artist," says Patch.

Abe and Roman are skeptical, to say the least. Roman thinks the closer the wedding gets, the more desperate Kate gets. Suddenly, Kate decides the woman who yelled Sami's name sounded a lot like Celeste. Abe chuckles. Kate nukes, "Something tells me something is seriously wrong here. The two of you can sit here and throw back your martini's and laugh at me or you can get off your condescending butts and help me out!" Roman and Abe choose option A, more martinis.

OK. Now we get the idea. Sami is going to burn EJ alive one match at a time. She blows out another one. Celeste rushes in and wants to know what is taking so long. Sami bawls, "I can't do it! He owns me now. He won."

Belle sleeps. A hand touches her shoulder. Belle looks up to find John. She is sooooo glad to see him. John senses something is wrong, "Let me take a guess – Shawn? Come on. Tell me all about it. Tell me the whole story."

"I'm just really confused," says Belle.

No," says John's apparition, "I’m a busy man. Tell me the parts I don't know."

Belle pours her heart out to him, "Things are just so complicated."

"I understand, [D]Izzy," says John, "To you, a light switch is complicated. It boils down to one simple question, do you trust him?"

Belle's mind reels, "You said it was a simple question."

Shawn fixes the GPS and decides he had better head back. Gabby stops him. She tells him she once had a child. He thinks it's really none of his business, but he can imagine what it's like to lose a child. That's why he and Belle are there – to protect Claire. Gabby says, "Belle thinks because of the baby... I don't know what she thinks." She falls into his arms sobbing. Closer... closer...

Kayla couldn't find a doctor, so they'll just have to settle for her. She brought a first aid kit while Stephanie rails about the lack of care in the under funded state facility.

Kayla starts to tend to him but Patch grabs her arm, "I thought we had a deal." Stephanie wants to know what's going on. Kayla fills her in. Stephanie vows to quit the race team and move back there to take care of her father. "Like hell you are," says Patch, "NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

Roman tells Kate to back off. That's like throwing gasoline onto a fire. Kate goes at them with both barrels, "And you know what Abe, Celeste is involved in this up to her third eye."

"It's not fair," says Abe, "She has three and none of mine work."

Kate suggests Abe call Celeste and ask her. Abe says, "OK. I’m gonna give her a call, if only to shut you up." If only it were that easy.

Sami bawls. She just can't do it. Celeste tells her it's all right. She gets her call from Abe. He asks her if she knows anything about Kate's crackpot idea that Sami ran off with EJ. Celeste says she just happened to speak to Sami not two minutes ago and she's enjoying a romantic evening with Lucas. Abe sneers at Kate.

Celeste hangs up, "Damn that Kate!"

"We have a bigger problem," says Sami, "What are we gonna do about EJ?"

Patch forbids Stephanie to move back to Salem, "I didn't raise a quitter."

Stephanie goes for the throat, "YOU DIDN'T RAISE ME AT ALL! You weren't around when I was little. I'm not gonna lose you again."

"They messed with my head, baby."

"So they can't have done much damage," says Stephanie.

"Did she tell you I tried to choke her," says Patch. Kayla jumps to his defense and tells Stephanie he had a nightmare. Stephanie tells him he has to fight this. Patch claims he fights it all the time. Stephanie says Kayla has filled her in on things, "I know EJ Wells is behind this. What I don't know is why you keep letting him do this."

EJ starts to come to. Sami decides there is only one thing she can do – tell Lucas. He'll probably leave her, but she has no choice. Celeste and Sami start to leave, but EJ slurs, "Samantha... Samantha..."

Roman says it's time for Kate to leave before he is forced to escort her out himself. Kate gives him a parting shot, "Something tells me you will live to regret this, Roman." She leaves.

John tells Belle, "You've been through so much you're afraid to trust anyone. In some circles, they call that paranoia. John vows to fight his way back to the people he loves. Sap literally oozes out of the walls as John talks about the way he and Marlena got back together and threw the coin into the fountain. He produces the coin. Every time he looks at it he has the strength to carry on. Belle wishes she had a coin like that. The tightwad doesn't give it to her., "You have something better. You have Shawn. All you need is faith... but keep your hands off my coin." John floats away through the clouds.

Belle sleeps, "I love you, dad. I love you, Shawn."

Gabby mauls Shawn, but he pushes her away. Gabby thought this was what Shawn wanted. She doesn't get it. Shawn says he loves Belle, but Belle doesn't let him touch her. She knows Shawn wants her. she makes another attempt. Shawn stops her, "Belle is right. I think we need to rethink this whole traveling together thing." Gabby begs him to let her go with them.

There is a knock at the door. Gabby answers. Belle says Shawn isn't in the room and she is looking for him. Shawn comes to the door and tells her he was there fixing the GPS. "I know what you were doing," says Belle, "It's all over your face."

Gabby gestures to her lipstick, which is smeared all over him. Shawn immediately reaches into his Guy's bag-o-tricks and pulls out the first cliché he can find, "BELLE! I CAN EXPLAIN!"

"Belle bawls, "Don't bother." She storms off down the hall.

Shawn desperately moves to chapter two in the manual, "If she doesn't buy 'I can explain,' move to the next level, 'It's not what it looks like.' Too late. Belle is long gone.

Stephanie begs Patch to put an end to the misery and get DOOL off the air. Patch takes his wrath out on Kayla, "You put her up to this, didn't you?"

Stephanie says she is doing this on her own, "If you don't fight for us, it's like you never existed."

"I don't exist," says Patch, "I am a fictional character."

"If you don't do this, our lives were a lie," says Stephanie
Patch caves in. He'll do it. He'll do it for her and Kayla. He'll tell them everything, including the fact that he was the one who ordered the pizza. Kayla rushes out to get Roman.

Roman rushes out and catches up with Kate. He tells her he doesn't like being threatened in public. "Fine," says Kate, "After this I will threaten you in private." Kate works on him and Roman softens. He decides he will help Kate get into Lucas and Sami's room. He tells Kate to call Lucas one more time and he'll go give Abe some cock and bull story about why he is leaving. Kate calls. Lucas stirs, but goes under again.

EJ wakes up. He tells Sami he smells gasoline. He can't breathe. Sami slathers on more lip dross and tells him he's imagining things. She moves in and kisses him back into submission. Once he is unconscious, she runs out and meets Celeste. But, oops, Sami remembers she forgot her suitcase. She runs back inside and dumb-da-dumb-dumb, the couch is empty! Sami turns around ad EJ staggers toward her.


EJ can barely walk. He falls into her and grabs her throat, "Samantha, what did you do to me?" Sami works him over to the couch, grabs her suitcase and runs. EJ goes unconscious again. Pan to the box of matches.

Roman tells Abe he's going to go to the hotel with Kate. His plans are interrupted when Kayla and Stephanie walk up. Kayla tells him Patch is ready to talk. Roman tells them he has something to deal with, but will be right back. He leaves and Stephanie asks Abe if Patch's testimony will be enough to put EJ away. Abe says he thinks this is the break they have all been waiting for.

Gabby finds Shawn sulking in the hallway. He says he's headed to sleep on the veranda. She invites him to sleep in her room. "Thanks," says Shawn, "But I think I'll pass."

Belle paces and thinks she made a mistake. She runs out to go find Shawn. She runs to Gabby's room and starts to knock, but hears sounds from inside. Moaning and giggling... slap and tickle... Belle sulks off. Gabby comes to the door. Her boyfriend comes and gets her, "Come on, baby, let's have another drink." Slap... tickle... Squeal.

Dr. Granger comes in and introduces himself to Patch. He says he's the new guy handling his case. Patch tells him that won't be necessary. He's decided to tell all. Nothing like telegraphing your pitches, boy. Dr. Granger encourages Patch to try traditional therapy instead. Nope. He has made up his mind. Dr. Granger flashes the tarot card at him and suggests he rethink his plan. Patch zones out.

Roman comes out into the hall and reneges on Kate. Kate can't believe something more important than Lucas' life has come up. He tells her to go home and call Lucas in the morning. Roman leaves. Kate is not a happy woman, "I'll do no such thing. I'll handle this myself."

Sami tells Celeste EJ woke up. She's worried when he wakes up the next time, he will know what she has done. Celeste tells Sami he probably won't remember anything, but they have to go. As they start to leave, the building explodes into flames. From inside, EJ calls, "Samantha! Samantha!" Sami looks at the burning building and bawls. FF.



Shawn panics, "They're actually gone! Claire's stuff is gone! Belle's stuff is gone!"

Stephanie yells, "If you love me, you'll do it." Patch says, "I guess I don't love you."

Bo tells Dr. Granger, "Give Elvis J. Wells a message for me. It's gonna take more than a court order to keep us outta here."

Sami bawls, "He's suffering!" Celeste says, "Evil never suffers. It only brings suffering. Come on! We gotta get out of here. Follow me!"


Blogger Prevuze said...

Just to let everyone know, at the end of yesterday's episode, we had the following preview:

Shawn asks, "What do you want me to say?" Belle says, "Nothing. If you want little Miss Tinda Lao, you can have her."

As far as we could tell, that scene did not appear in today's episode. We don't know if Gabby is actually "Miss Tinda Lao" or not, but we know one thing for sure: Belle is not Miss Congeniality.

5:14 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Time for the DOOL Friday plot hole round up:

Steve and Willow are both on high security lock down yet anyone and everyone can just waltz in to see them anytime they want.

A box of matches doesn't catch a gasoline soaked room on fire until you blow out two matches, close the box and leave the room.

There are no CSI labs in Salem so they have to use the University Hospital lab with the Chuck E Cheese security system. Everyone has a password to the computer so they can change test results and peek into private medical records (so much for HIPPA). And vital evidence just lays around for anyone and everyone to handle and/or steal.

Mental facilities have open source Wi-Fi and doctors just leave their lap tops and cell phones laying round so patients can use them at their lesiure.

Pizza parlors don't think anything is wrong with delivering $60 worth of pizza to a mental ward COD.

The best way to keep a man interested in you is to never have sex with him, deny you are in a relationship then freak out as soon as he goes out and finds someone else. Also make sure you tease the hell out of him on a daily basis then act surprised when he wants to sleep with you.

Chez Rouge is actually the newest diet hot spot. Maggie Horton has come up with the perfect weight loss strategy. Come in, order dinner, have the person you hate most in the world come in and cause a huge scene with you, leave your food.

Everything in Salem must be free. Rent, utilities, gas, food, baby diapers. Everyone has a job, but you never see anyone actually working. Even if they happen to accidently wander into their office/workplace all they ever do is shuffle a few papers, call people who have nothing to do with work and leave.

5:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been following your site for months now and wanted to tell you how much I love it, especially your commentary.

Just one question - was Steve really writing on the bed?! LOL

6:50 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Deb, you have summed it all up perfectly. HAHAHAHA

There's also the little plot problem of the drugged lipstick knocking out Lucas for apparently an hour or two, but only giving EJ a few minutes snooze at a time. Apparently Sami used the extra-strength version on Lucas and only a wimpy brand-X on EJ.

I realize it was a typo on Prevuze's part, but I thought Patch laying on his bed "writing and moaning" was SOOOO appropriate. He was probably going through the latest DOOL script.

"Premature immolation" LOLOLOL

If Celeste is so hot (no pun intended) to fry EJ, why doesn't she light the match herself?

Great Friday Prevuze!

6:56 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Just one question - was Steve really writing on the bed?! LOL

I realize it was a typo on Prevuze's part, but I thought Patch laying on his bed "writing and moaning" was SOOOO appropriate. He was probably going through the latest DOOL script.

OK. Made the correction. Dratted spell checkers aren't worth a Salem cop who hasn't had his daily donut.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Time for the DOOL Friday plot hole round up

Wow, Deb. Think of the time you could have saved if you had gone over the parts of the plot that aren't full of holes. Thanks for that comprehensive wrapup.

7:48 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

You know how they always caution you not to use your cell phone while filling your car with gas? Too bad Abe's call to Celeste didn't trigger the explosion.

LOL over the bullhorn picture. And I love the new Prevuze Definitions feature!

A great Prevuze for Friday! :)

7:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The stupidest thing of all is that is took Sami going almost completely through with this plan, down to dousing E.J. with gasoline, for her to realized she needs to tell Lucas. Of course she would never have been able to realize it before she did something that will have E.J. determined to kill her when he wakes up. Of course he won't now, but she was just gonna leave and let him wake up and come after her. Dumb.

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just recently discovered this site, and love it. Thanks for your hard work on it!
You say everything I think when I watch the show. It's so ridiculous, but I can't give it up.
Happy Friday, all!

8:15 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Just a thought, has Max ever considered dating someone OUTSIDE his family?

Chelsea - niece
Abby - Sister's husband's niece
Mimi - niece in law (his nephew's wife)
Stephanie - niece

I realize there is a serious shortage of women his age in Salem but come on!

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deb you are hilarious!

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've recently become a fan of Prevuze and I really appreciate it that you slog through the actual broadcasts of DOOL to give us the summaries and your comments, pictures and captions, and now the DOOL-finitions. You are hilarious!

11:00 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Any DOOL watcher who actually thinks EJ is in danger needs to turn in their SPD badge (Salem Pretend Detective).

You KNOW that EJ woke up, started the fire himself to make people (Celeste & Sami) think he was dead and was just yelling to make it sound worse.

Now Sami can be all relieved that she's "safe", albeit wracked with guilt about "killing EJ" which we'll have to hear about in her daily whine to Celeste/God/her mirror. Then EJ will show up on her wedding day which is when Sami will finally have to tell Lucas the truth.

Also LOL at your lipstick picture, Bulldog!!

1:33 PM  
Anonymous KOTU said...

Deb - just saw your late comment on yesterday's show.

Frankie is really a von Lauschner (sp?), Carly's brother. (Carly who was hooked up with Bo and is now married to Laurence Alamain and over in Europe somewhere). So Frankie isn't really related to any of the core families except through adoption by the Bradys.

Now Max is another matter. Although he is Frankie's brother I'm not sure he was a vonLauschner. I vaguely recall he might have been a half-brother. Or, maybe even just an orphan that Frankie took under his wing when Frankie was in an orphanage. So you could be right on that point. Maybe someone with a better memory than me can remind us of Max's real history.

1:38 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Okay on Max's parentage I do know this:
His father supposedly is Trent Becker (??) Mother unknown.

Now at one time Jennifer was married to Lawrence Alamain. At the time she was pretending to be Katerina VonLeuschner (Carly) who was actually a classmate of hers at the Swiss boarding school she attended.
And we all know about her life long quasi love affair with Frankie (Francois vonLeuschner)
from 1987 to last year more or less.
Now if we fudge with her age a bit, which the writers have already done once (she was born in 1976 but turned 25 in 1995) we could make it possible that Max is her son via her quickie marriage to Lawrence OR a "forgotten" encounter with Frankie.
OR....when she was pretending to be Katerina VonLeuschner, it turns out she really WAS Katerina and Carly was the fake.

On the other hand....
Jack could have had a child (Max) with any number of women who then pinned it on the elusive Trent Becker (one of Jack's alias's?)

Thanks to Beth's Days Of Our Lives Pages for lots of this info.
(Yeah like you all thought I was THAT smart)

4:46 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Great post today1 Totally Prevuz-licious!

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love your day ahead previews so much you crack me up everytime i read and i love todays expecially the town wacko aww man i cannot wait for more of your sense of humor

1:01 AM  
Anonymous SLURPY said...


7:03 AM  

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