Wednesday, September 03, 2008


France! Where the death penalty for stealing costume jewelry has been abolished and we're all beginning to regret it.

Max and Stephanie are out of jail. Stephanie is ready to pack and get back home but Max says he can't do that.

Abe meets Lexie in the hospital. He wants to spend time with Theo and didn't realize Lexie would be there. He's not sure he and Lexie are comfortable being together around Theo. Lexie agrees there has been a lot of tension. Abe knows he's not as enlightened as Lexie is. Lexie apologizes for making Abe feel like the doofus he is, "But, honey, I know you're trying."

"So are you," says Abe, "Very."

"Abe, please," she begs, "Theo needs to know that (say it with her) we are there for him."

"We are where for him," asks Abe.

"There," says Lexie.

"Where is there?"


"Who's on third?"

"I don't know."

Lexie goes on, "And... Theo has to know (say it with her) we are there for each other. See the conversation above for additional information.

Steven "Philip Marlowe" Johnson, the one-eye Private eye, visits Hope in her office. Hope tries to acclimate to a place she has hardly ever been. "You got anything new on the Hollingsworth case," he asks.

"Pardon me," asks Hope, "When did you become a police officer?"

"I'm a concerned citizen," says Private Eye Patch.

"Since I live in Salem, I'm concerned that you're a citizen, too," says Hope.

"I can put some feelers out on the street," says Patch.

"We arrest people for that," says Hope.

"I've got my boys combing through every scrap of garbage out there to get a lead on Hollingsworth," says Patch, "But so far all we've dug up is old DOOL videos."

Patch asks how Bo is holding up. Hope says the investigation has them both losing a lot of sleep. Finding Paul would help everybody.

"Everybody except John Black."

Over the phone, Stefano announces he is moving back to the mansion. Tony protests. Bo walks in and asks whom Tony is talking to. Stefano wonders why no one is rejoicing.

Phillip thanks mystery guy for the info and he walks off. Phillip says, "Gotcha!"

Morgan wanders. Daddy meets her and we have a tearjerker of a reunion. More jerks than tears. Paul vows to make things right. He never meant to hurt her.

Stefano assumes an enemy has entered the room. Bo takes the phone and puts him on speaker. Stefano mocks Bo for falling on hard times, "We'll see you soon," says Stefano, "You and your pretty wife."

"No," says Bo, "I'm still married to Hope."

Bo hangs up and announces he's not playing Stefano's games. John wants to know why Bo is there. Bo wants to know what happened to Hollingsworth.

Marlena notices she has drifted away from being the center of attention. She swoons and tells John he can't let Stefano come back there. John reassures her.

Abe tells Lexie he's self-conscious around Theo. "I'm glad you're conscious somewhere," says Lexie. She suggests spending the morning together with Theo.

The Doctor runs out with Theo and invites them in. He tells them the session went well. Lexie congratulates the laconic Theo. The doc tells Abe he always looks forward to his sessions with Theo, "I've got to pay for that new Jaguar somehow."

Abe and Lexie leave. Abe suggests ice cream, a trip to the park and some time on the swings. "I love to swing," squeals Lexie.

"The whole town knows that," says Abe.

Abe rambles on about how happy they are together as a family. Translation: Trouble ahead.

Max don' wanna leave France. Stephanie thinks he's being naïve about the kind of person Melanie is.

Bo thinks John is talking tough for a man who may face murder charges. John tells him he needs to focus on keeping Stefano away from Marlena. If Bo doesn't, John says he will take Stefano out.

"I could have sworn you were straight," says Bo.

John asks EJ to work on making sure the DiMera mansion is legally his.

Stefano crashes the party, "This house is mine and always will be."

Patch knows Stefano could still have his little boy, "But he's home safe and sound."

Hope says, "Steve, (say it with her) we're there for you. Always."

"You're where for me," asks Patch.

"There," says Hope.

"Where is there?"


"Who's on third?"

"I don't know."

Suddenly, Hope gets a call. EEERRRTTTT! EEERRRTTTT! EEERRRTTTT! Paul has been spotted! Hope takes off like an anorexic space shuttle.

Paul is reluctant to tell Morgan what happened. A lot of people are looking for him. He's decided to turn himself in, "I just wanted to see you one more time like this... the blithering, simpering, bawling little basket case I've always known and loved Please slobber and cry like a three year old once more for me. Paul and Morgan hug and share one of the most important moments of their lives. They may never see one another again, at least without bars between them. Father and daughter... bonding... sobbing... lost in that abyss of that final tender father-daughter moment.

Morgan's cell phone rings. To hell with this father-daughter garbage. She pops out of her stupor and answers, "OMG, Yes! Of course I'd be interested in aluminum siding. Does it matter that I don't own a house?" The guy hangs up. She immediately gets another call, this time from Phillip.

He tells her he wants to talk to her dad. Paul takes the phone. Phillip tells him not to run because he knows where he is, "You're goin' down, Paul." Paul hangs up and lies to Morgan about what Phillip said.

A cop walks up, "Paul Hollingsworth." Paul doesn't put up a fight. Hope comes up from the other side wearing a pistol sticking out of her belt like yet another bony rib. Busted.

Phillip and Paul meet in the police station. Phillip ain't a happy camper. He doesn't believe Paul was going to turn himself in. "The minute you sent her that tape," says Phillip, "Your days as father of the year were over." Hope walks up and asks what Phillip is doing there. "You're giving Patch the run of the place," says Phillip, "Why not me?"

"Patch is a concerned citizen," says Hope.

"Since I live in Salem, I'm concerned that he's a citizen, too," says Phillip.

Back at the mansion, Bo reads Stefano his rights. Stefano taunts. He and Bo stand face to face and trade wisecracks. John joins the party and tells Stefano he's going to prison.

Bo hauls Stefano down to the station. Roman, Bo and Stefano are sharing a few words of mutual disgust when Patch and Hope walk in. Patch, being a concerned citizen continues to get the run of the cop shop. Upon seeing Stefano, Patch totally loses control and trashes the place trying to attack him, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOY? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOY?" Bo restrains Patch the mad dog PI. Bo throws him out of the office while Patch continues to make tough-guy private eye threats.

John doesn't think Marlena is particularly stable. Marlena hasn't been stable since people in the Middle East thought that black stuff oozing out of the sand was a polluting nuisance. Anna takes her to go lie down for a while. John asks EJ what Stefano's rights will be now that he's under arrest. "I don't know," says EJ, "I work for the Firm of Horton and DiMera. Legal issues are beyond our area of expertise."

"I'm not running a damn bed and breakfast here," snorts John, "I want everybody out, except for Blondie."

Theo plays with leaves on the ground while Abe and Lexie talk about how nice this is. She tells Abe the other night Theo just would not go to sleep.

"What did you do," asks Abe.

"A half bottle of Ambien works wonders," says Lexie.

Morgan and Phillip snort at each other back at the cop shop.

Theo points up to the sky, "BOAT!"

"No, honey," says Lexie, "That's a plane."

"If Shawn Brady can't tell the difference between a boat and a plane, why should I have to," asks Theo.

Abe decides things aren't so bad, "You know... planes and boats are both types of transportation so..."

Lexie interrupts, "So what you're saying is you don't know the difference between a boat and a plane either."

Abe hangs his head, "Not really."

Morgan rakes Phillip across the coals. Hope and Patch the PI walk in. Morgan asks to see her father. Hope no-can-do. Morgan starts to huff out but Hope won't let her do that either. She has to stay there in case they have more questions for her. She asks her to step inside and talk, "After that, maybe I can arrange for you to see your father. Not that we'd ever pressure you or anything, Miss Hollingsworth."

Tony tries to rationalize with John. He plays the "this man is your brother" chip. John tells him not to get in his face. EJ jumps in and then Tony and he gang up on John. EJ tells him with Stefano in prison the DiMera Empire is up for grabs.

Roman tells Hope and Patch they are trying to decide what to do with Stefano. PI Patch has a few nasty suggestions. Roman gets a call. He gets off the phone, "Let him go. The DA isn't going to bring charges."

Patch has a conniption so big he blows out his other eye.

Bo snarls, "Come on Roman. Just give me a couple minutes alone with him. It'd be a heck of a lot more fun than a couple minutes alone with Hope."

Phillip tries again. Only God knows why. Morgan tells him she fell in love with him but she was wrong to do that.

Roman says there is nothing he can do. Abe walks in and says he heard Stefano has been arrested. He has also heard from some people in high places including the Governor and DA to let him go, "Some serious strings are being pulled."

"Let's unpull them," says Bo. Abe releases Stefano.

"I should run along," says Stefano, "So much to do... so little time... give my best to your families."

Max and Stephanie continue to argue about Melanie. Max wants to stay and talk her into coming back to Salem. Stephanie decides to stay with him. "I love you," says Stephanie, "I just wish you weren't so damn stubborn." Max takes that as his cue. The tongue fencing begins.

John thinks Tony and EJ are trying to phase him out.

Marlena opens the front door to the mansion. Stefano stands there, "Hello Marlena. I think we have some unfinished business to attend to. May I come in?"

"Certainly," says Marlena, "Make yourself at home while I go change into a pair of slacks without the brown spot." Stefano whisks past her.

Stefano rushes into the room with John, Tony and EJ. He goes into a rampage, "VERMIN! INGRATES! I AM BETRAYED BY MY OWN FAMILY!" He walks up to Tony, "YOU DISLOYAL FOOL!" On to EJ, "POMPOUS IDIOT!" Over to John, "DISHONORABLE BASTARD!" He walks up to the mirror, "NAME CALLER!" His rage continues as he orders them all out of his house.

John gets a call. Roman tells him they have Paul in custody. He wants John to report to the station immediately or they will send uniform cops after him. "DAMN THIS DAY," screams John. He fakes left, goes right, straight-arms Tony, jukes EJ, outruns Stefano and when he makes it to the end zone, spikes his cell phone. The aforementioned cell phone explodes into a million pieces. "Damn," says John, "Eight hours in line and $600 for an iPhone. Next time I think I'll celebrate by doing the chicken dance."


Max says, "I think we should get to know each other better. I mean, I want to know about your life." Melanie says, "No, actually you don't."

Chelsea tells Daniel, "You and Kate are probably the people who care about me the most. I guess that's why it hurts so much."

Stefano asks, "Are you challenging me?" EJ says, "Actually, yes." Stefano says, "Bring it on."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Prevuze - I am so glad you are back writing - DOOL by you is so much more entertaining than watching this dribble...

7:22 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

TWO Prevuze in a row. I'm floating in a cloud of Prevuze-induced euphoria!

Unfortunately, I have to float on up to a staff meeting. That will sober be up fast. But what a great treat this morning!

7:41 AM  
Blogger marilia said...

no matter is it is posted 3 days after the original air date, i would still prefer to read it here, than watch it. You guys/gals are so ROCK!

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

My biggest laugh of the day - Jawn flinging his cell phone and the immediate regret that follows. They never show anyone replacing and picking up the pieces of whatever it is (phones, whiskey glasses, pictures, etc.) they've smashed into a jillion pieces. I guess they're picked up by the faceless minions who keep the deserted Horton cabin clean and stocked with food. HAHAHA

I also loved Marlena swooning at the realization she wasn't the current focus of attention. I think that's the truth!!

And if L'il Joe grows up having problems it will never occur to Patch or Kayla maybe it's due to their whining, bawling and continual screaming.

Thanks, Prevuze, with the second chapter today I can face even work! :D

8:52 AM  
Blogger fwickafwee said...

bwahahahahaha!!!! Hope takes off like an anorexic space shuttle.

1:32 PM  
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10:18 AM  

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