Monday, August 25, 2008

Fred Frump — Satellite Technician

There was no feed today, Prevuzers. I guess I should clarify that — no feed yet.

It just seems every morning there is some sort of problem getting Prevuze out. The setup we have to collect the feed, get it to the computer and then post the blog would challenge anything Rube Goldberg ever came up with. When the Prevuze team is on the road, it becomes even more complex. It's important to remember, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link (We'll come back to that profound thought in just a moment).

Anyway, if any part of our setup fails, getting Prevuze out can resemble a Salem fire drill. Starting up in the sky, the satellite feed can fail (We'll come back to that profound thought in just a moment), or we can have a power failure here at the Prevuze compound (This happens a lot since we live in the forest primeval). The Internet could be unavailable (This happens a lot since our carrier is the ever-unreliable Sprint/Embarf*). Or, as happened last week, we could have computer problems (For the technophiles in the audience, we'd like to personally thank Microsoft for the SP3 distribution, which turned our video recording computer into the Shawn Brady model).

So this morning, the satellite feed simply failed. Assuming the show remains on the air (I know, we're on shaky ground there) we have long suspected we might wake up some morning and find out it has gone digital or hi-def, which would necessitate a satellite change. In that event, we would be able to find the new feed and continue to bring you Prevuze. Uh, we think.

We don't think that's what happened today because a chain (say it with me) is only as strong as its weakest link. And these days, the weak link in the chain seems to be the guy they have hired to come in early in the morning to press the button to send the feed. Many, many mornings lately, the feed has popped on at the last second. On a couple of occasions, however, like this morning, it just hasn't been there. Our theory is that DOOL has hired Fred Frump, Salem Hospital Chief of Security as the guy in charge of coming in and pressing the button. We know economic times are tough and I'm sure Fred, like many others, has had to take measures to stay on his feet financially. So we speculate Fred has taken a second job as the DOOL satellite technician. To quote Fred, "If you think the price of gas has gone up, you should see what's happened to the price of a bottle of Boone's Farm."

We're sure the feed usually goes out in a timely fashion since most mornings Fred can just walk from the bar over to his post at DOOL Satellite Central and press the button. Unfortunately, this morning Fred didn't make it, and all we got was static.**

We'll keep you posted on this earthshaking situation, and you might consider checking back in later today in case Fred staggers to his station and presses the button for a later feed. In the meantime, let's keep our outlook positive. We may not have gotten a DOOL feed today but that's OK because life is... there's a lot to be thankful... it's a new day and...



*"Sprint - The Now*** Network" (***Now - Any time you need the Internet but it's unavailable.)

**It was, however, much better than the show.


Blogger Applecheeks said...

Although the lack of Prevuze ranks just under the level of a major disaster, especially on a Monday, I enjoyed Prevuze ever creative explanation.

I will wait with baited breath.

Well, not too baited since I'm on VACATION. But, baited none-the-less.

5:51 AM  
Anonymous em said...

Even the recap of why there is no show recap is more entertaining than an average Daze episode.

5:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Missing Prevuze...but still enjoyed the explanation, as well! Always entertaining! will check back later...Thanks!

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

To quote Fred, "If you think the price of gas has gone up, you should see what's happened to the price of a bottle of Boone's Farm."

Fred: Perhaps you need to consider some Ripple or Annie Greenspring.

Without a Monday morning DOOL update, I will need to deal with the erosive effects of reality. Good golly Ms. Molly!! Save me Prevuze!! Hmm maybe some of the Prevuze spies will have attended the DOOL fan gathering and can offer first person reporting for our Daze fix. Prevuze, do you provide badges for your reporters?

6:10 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I'm trying to compose myself under the strain of this shock. I think I speak for all readers when I say (altogether now!) "Prevuze, we are here for you."

I guess I'll just stagger back and try to get some more coffee and pray Fred wakes up soon! :P

6:33 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Prevuze, do you provide badges for your reporters?

Actually, I don't, but I'm pretty sure they all carry a Starbuck's card.

7:17 AM  
Anonymous em said...

Bulldog: Stellar!


7:59 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Prevuze, Prevuze, Prevuze, don't you know? This is all a conspiracy concocted by Stefano to keep us all from finding out his newest master plan to take over the world.

In the mean time, yes, it's blog!
Read and enjoy while we all hold hands and say a prayer for the satellite feed.
These Are The Daze Of Our Lives

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Klaus said...

Actually when something messes it, it's safe to assume Shawn was involved. Or perhaps Lucas.

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just checked Salem Spectator and their feed was down too. :(

2:04 PM  
Blogger Jenifer said...

I'm on the thought that Fred and Ed Scott are in cohoots!

3:44 PM  
Blogger Jenifer said...

eek - 2nd try for that URL

3:45 PM  
Blogger Jenifer said...

If you're dying of withdrawals, (like me) you can grab some spoilers from here:

There's a connection between the Brady Brunch and DOOL ... yeah, check it out! -Jen

3:50 PM  
Anonymous SaggyBaskets said...

It's nine o'clock and still no prevuze.

Am I going to be forced to actually WATCH?

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Klaus said...

Missing one day isn't that bad. It's probably healthy. I miss days at a time. I'm surprised they're not still trapped in the hospital, though.

Perhaps Stefano will be courting everyone off to a island of some sort for a few weeks, while Joe - the newest pawn - starts his nefarious schemes.

7:12 PM  

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