Caveman

Stefano played Sami like a fiddle. #DAYS

 

Nick: "I'll see that things work out with Will." Gabi: "You really mean that?" Nick: "Absolutely." Translation: Absolutely not. #DAYS

 

Kristin likes watching Brady act like a caveman.  He pulls it off so well because he thinks like a caveman. Apologies to all cavemen. #DAYS

 

Brady has to take the call outside half-dressed. Just how long would it take to button his shirt? #DAYS

Breakfast With A Side Of Crazy

What? No strippers today? Not even a flashback? The DOOL writers giveth and the DOOL writers taketh away. #DAYS

 

Daniel wants to be a professional stripper. Motivated, it seems, by all those women's hands down his pants at the strip club. #DAYS

 

Jen wants to go to the hospital alone. Dan reminds her there is no "I" in team. But there's an "I" in idiot, so off she goes. #DAYS

 

Vargas says he doesn't want his breakfast with a side of crazy.  If it's with Nicole, crazy is the main course. #DAYS

No Socially Redeeming Value

The scenes of dancing at the strip club: the phrase "no socially redeeming value" comes to mind.  What's that called, again? #DAYS

 

Guy viewers: Stand up for your rights! Demand equal time with scenes of the gals stripping. Down with the double standard!  #DAYS

 

Depending on your point of view, this show was either a new low or a new high for #DAYS

 

Be glad the encore when Victor and Stefano came on stage was cut out of the show. #DAYS

 

Given the show, I'd say the guys learned to dance by hanging worms on fishhooks and watching them wiggle. #DAYS

Too Horny To Care

 

The Sugar Plum Busybody

Daniel introduces Jennifer, but doesn't introduce the babysitter.  He's such a guy. (For the record, her name is Joanna). #DAYS

 

Maxine gossips with Abby.  You, know... the same Maxine who reamed her nurses out for gossiping a few days ago. #DAYS

 

Surely when Eric was in the hall and heard Nicole screaming "Oh-God-Oh-God-Oh-God" he didn't expect to find her praying. #DAYS

 

What do you get when you cross Jennifer and Maggie? The Sugar Plum Busybody. #DAYS

The Day They Lost Bullwinkle

Hope tells Ciara her daddy is coming home. Ciara wonders if Miss Carly is coming back with him. #DAYS

 

The unspeakable tragedy Maggie isn't talking about from that day long ago with Team Moose: That's the day they lost Bullwinkle. #DAYS

 

Abe confronts Cameron and wants to know what's going on. Cameron's situation is more about what's coming off. #DAYS

 

Kristin goes dumpster diving.  Somehow it seems like an appropriate metaphor for her life. #DAYS

Running His Rainbow Flag Up The Flagpole

Caroline recognizes Cameron/Apollo. Free drinks at the pub for him from now on. #DAYS

 

Protip for Kristin: Never blurt out that you can explain everything until you know for sure there's something you have to explain. #DAYS

 

John, when Hope says "we need to talk," it really means, "you need to run." #DAYS

 

Narrow minded Tad is certainly running his rainbow flag up the flagpole these days, isn't he? #DAYS

 

Brian: "I've gotta jet." Translation: "I've gotta make like a bread truck and haul buns." #DAYS

Over Niagara Falls In A Barrel

EJ pops the question and Sami looks like he asked her to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. #DAYS

 

Lucas says he doesn't want to blow his own horn.  In his case it would be blowing his own kazoo. #DAYS

 

That was the longest proposal since they presented the original Geneva Accords. #DAYS

 

Lucas figures Sami and EJ had was a private lunch because of the 'closed' sign, "I'm quick like that." Actually, Lucas, you're not. #DAYS

 

Gabi: "You're scaring me." Nick: "Something I said?" Gabi: "No, I looked at you." #DAYS

That DiMera Bitch Is Going Down

Sy: "That DiMera bitch is going down." Based on my observations, she does — frequently. #DAYS

 

Is the color on my TV weird or since Chloe walked in on Daniel and Jennifer, did she cake on a few more pounds of makeup? #DAYS

 

Sami suspects Nicole is interested in Vargas. Wherever would she get an idea like that?" #DAYS

After You Get What You Want You Don't Want What You Get

Sy, don't worry about an APB.  In Salem that stands for "All Police Bungle-it." #DAYS

 

Rafe calls Kate: "We need to hash this out." Translation — booty call. #DAYS

 

Sami: "You're not leaving until we talk." Sami, there is no longer a ring  on your finger or through Rafe's nose. #DAYS

 

Nicole says she thought she and Chloe were best friends. After all, Nicole used her best strain of flesh eating bacteria on her. #DAYS

 

Looks like Kate and Rafe have reached the "after you get what you want you don't want what you get" stage of their relationship. #DAYS

Losing It — Abby's Plan

 

At The Nudie Bar

Separated at birth... Cameron and Elaine from Seinfeld. I'm guessing we'll never see either on Dancing With The Stars. #DAYS

 

Sami: "I'm choking on how nice I will be." I'm choking on lunch watching this. #DAYS

 

Caroline! At the nudie bar! Maybe it's therapy to get her to remember a few things she's forgotten. #DAYS

 

Daniel tells Chloe if they were together they'd be living a lie.  In Salem, that's also known as business as usual. #DAYS

A Private Showing

Jennifer: "I have to call Daniel... I can't... I can't..." Her brain is a shorted out pinball machine. #DAYS

 

Amazing... Abby hasn't seen Stefano in a while but had a two second conversation with him without blurting out she's a virgin. #DAYS

 

Stefano: "Spring is here." Yeah, Salem must be one of the places that DIDN'T get a foot of snow yesterday. #DAYS

 

Abby swears she's not going to go see Cameron's show. Maybe she's hoping for a private showing. #DAYS

Eat Poop And Die

Sonny says he didn't come to the DiMera mansion to see Sami; he came to see EJ.  Eye candy, I guess. #DAYS

 

Nicole: "Have a nice life, Chloe." Translation: eat poop and die. #DAYS

 

Will says he'd never delve into Sami's personal life.  Her and EJ's couch calisthenics excluded. #DAYS

 

And the conversation between Jen and Laura continues... after Jen says she doesn't want to talk about it. #DAYS

 

Rafe says he'll never talk to Kate again. I'm guessing he's still open for other things, though. #DAYS

Evidence Is So Overrated

If Lucas has a clue it must be one someone threw in the trash because it didn't work anymore. #DAYS

 

Nicole says Vargas wants to put the past in the past. As opposed to what, the hall closet? #DAYS

 

Lucas says he's not telling Jennifer, "I told you so." Right before he tells her, "I told you so." #DAYS

 

Parker keeps poking his iPad and talking about cows. He must be playing Angry Herds. #DAYS

 

Hope thinks this guy's the perp because he got nervous? Yeah, evidence is so overrated. #DAYS

A Red Letter V On Her Blouse

Daniel gives Jennifer a sloppy kiss right before going into surgery. I hope the hospital has Purell for Cooties. #DAYS

 

Vargas introduces himself to EJ: "I'm Vargas... That's French for 'wolf in sheep's clothing.'" #DAYS

 

Daniel to Jennifer: "I need you, you need me." Now I can't get the Barney song out of my head. #DAYS

 

Jen's solution: Tell Daniel. Dan plays along, gets close to Chloe. Chloe brings Parker back. Dan dumps her. Too complex for Jen, tho. #DAYS

 

It's all over town now, so The Virgin Abby has to wear a red letter "V" on her blouse from now on. #DAYS

All Of North Korea's Rockets

Kate asks if Sonny and Will are OK. Translation: "May I butt in?" #DAYS

 

Maxine: "Working at more than one hospital at a time is against state law." Does that joint count as a hospital? #DAYS

 

BULLETIN: Kim Jong Un has announced if there is one more scene with Jennifer, he will point all of North Korea's rockets at Salem. #DAYS

 

Will says he won't say anything about Kate and Rafe. Like he didn't say anything about his mom and EJ? #DAYS

Raising Your Kids In The House Of Usher

Will wonders what's wrong with Nick. Other than being a wackadoodle? #DAYS

 

John: "I don't approve of you raising your kids in The House of Usher." Wouldn't that be a step up from the DiMera mansion? #DAYS

 

Kate: "I can see the wheels turning in your brain." The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. #DAYS

 

Sami, John, Brady and Marlena all together in the pub. In scientific circles, this is known as critical mass. #DAYS