Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True

Owen gets the gun away from Stephanie as Phillip comes out of the morgue drawer like a DVD popping out of its player. Owen gets the drop on both of them.

EJ returns and Nicole greets him. The lawyers have called and Nicole is glad it's all over. "Not even close," says EJ.

Rafe shows up at Sami's place in his construction worker outfit, tool belt and all. Mr. Construction worker goes to work.

Bo and Hope wander through the cemetery. Bo bends down and surveys the scratchings in the dirt, "Hope, I think I found a clue."

"It's about time you got a clue," says Hope.

Brady promises Melanie they will decryptify themselves. Suddenly, he gets an idea, "I know how we can get out of here!"

"What do I have to remove this time," asks Melanie.

Phillip rushes Owen and the fight is on. It's a rolling, slugging, pounding, slamming cage match. Stephanie watches and squeals like a mouse with its tail in a blender.

EJ is on the phone ordering his guys to report any suspicious Kiriakis activities. He wants to find Owen fast.

Phillip and Owen continue to fight and Stephanie continues to squeal. Owen is still holding the gun and the boys have a tug-o-war over it.

BANG!

SCREAM!


Will meets Mia at the pub and tells her they can use the Kiriakis pool for wild parties this summer. Mia is underwhelmed and says she has to go away. "That's OK," says Will, "How long will you be gone."

"Maybe for good."

Rafe continues to work on Sami. Sami does some work herself. "It's a good thing Johnny's not here," says Sami.

"Where is he," asks Rafe.

"I don't have a clue," says Sami, "But he might be over at Bo and Hope's place playing with Ciara. The last time I saw him he was crawling across the Bob Anderson Memorial Freeway during rush hour and that's in the direction of her house."

Sami frets about Rafe's job situation, "You used to be on the fast track with the FBI, doing what you love and now you're a construction worker."

Rafe reassures her, "I love carpentry and I'm learning the ropes quickly. Today I learned which end of the hammer to use and tomorrow they're going to teach me to work a left-handed screwdriver. There are a million guys who would want to be in my shoes right now." Sami decides she wants him out of those shoes. Everything else, too. She moves in.

Bo looks at the footprints in the dirt, "It looks like there were two males and a female that passed by here."

"How can you tell," says Hope.

Bo explains how to tell whether deer footprints belong to a buck or a doe.

Meanwhile, back in the crypt, Brady has finally discovered the place has windows. Apparently, however, this is one of the few skyscraper crypts in existence, so Brady has to climb up to the fifth story to get to them. Melanie thinks that's crazy. She tells him not to do it but, of course, big bad brave Brady starts scaling the wall. Melanie rants, snivels, whimpers and whines as he slowly moves upward. He grabs a ledge and puts his foot on a cheap plastic urn hanging on the wall. The urn breaks off and...

DOWN GOES BRADY!

Whimpering, sobbing, whining Melanie rushes over to the splat on the floor that formerly was Brady Black, "Are you OK?"

EJ gets off the phone and tells Nicole that Stefano is doing better. Nicole hopes they can improve their relationship when he gets home. EJ doesn't think she has been making much effort to do that. Nicole protests and assures him she wants to get along with Stefano. "I know he appears rough on the outside," says EJ, "but he's very soft hearted to those whom he loves."

"You're a lot like your father, EJ," says Nicole, "Only soft-headed instead of soft-hearted." EJ tells her he needs to talk to Owen.

Owen and Phillip fight. Phillip gets the gun away but Owen gets Stephanie in a choke hold. Stephanie squirms and babbles.

"You have to hold your arm tighter against her neck," says Phillip, "Or she'll never shut up."

Sami and Rafe have moved things to the bedroom and it's time for the viewers' anatomy lesson. Candles and body parts fill the screen. We pan past writhing arms, legs, lips, hair, unknown substances and in a shot almost too daring for daytime TV, we get a closeup of one of the pores on Rafe's forehead.

Mia tells Will about her housing situation. She says she thinks she may not be the best person for Will to hang out with. Well if Will was in bad company before it just got worse. Lucas butts in. Will introduces Mia. Buttinski asks how they met. Mia says they have English and chemistry classes together. Will conveniently gets a call and hightails it outside to talk to his buddy Jack. Lucas sits down and gives Mia the third degree.

Melanie scrapes what is left of Brady up off the floor. Brady makes a miracle recovery and goes back to trying to break the window so the throngs of people who walk through the cemetery in the black of night will hear their panicked screams. Brady picks up the urn he broke off and takes aim on the window above. He pitches from the stretch. He pauses and checks the runner on first. Brady eyes the batter, leans back and fires the bal...

Melanie stops him in mid pitch, "I hear someone outside."

Sure enough, they hear Bo and Hope banging around. It looks like shirtless Brady and braless Melanie will be saved after all. But amidst this good news, an umpire steps in, rules that Brady didn't complete the pitch, calls a balk and awards the runner second base.

Outside, Bo and Hope discover the crypt is locked.

Phillip screams, "Don't hurt her!"

"I'm giving the orders," says Owen, "Say goodbye, Stephanie."

Stephanie chokes it out, "Goodbye, Stephanie."

EJ gets off the phone and Nicole assures him everything will work out. She tells him he's the tough type. EJ wonders if his toughness is an act. Nicole doesn't think so. He tells her he lies awake at night thinking about the ups and downs of the DiMera world wondering if he's doing the right thing. Once again, Nicole reassures him. As they move in on each other, Sydney gets restless and breaks things up, sparing us yet another shot of open pores. EJ tells Nicole he has to take Johnny back to Sami tomorrow morning. Nicole stammers, "There is something about Sami you should know... Rafe is adopting Grace." Nicole's dumb-move meter goes off the scale.

Sami, Rafe, afterglow. The aforementioned pores glisten. "I forgot," says Rafe, "I have a surprise for you." He reaches down and pulls an envelope from under the bed. Trying to figure out how it got there will only give you a headache. Rafe hands it to Sami. She opens it and looks at the contents, "OMG... Rafe!"

Bo and Hope free Melanie and Brady. Trying to figure out how they got the door unlocked will also give you a headache. Brady and Melanie tell them Owen, Phillip and Stephanie are in the morgue. The posse heads for Dry Gulch.

Owen rants. Phillip tries to calm him down and agrees with everything Owen says. "I'm taking Stephanie where she will be safe," says Owen, "And you have to get back in the drawer."

"Before you take her away," says Phillip, "There is something you should know... Stephanie is pregnant." Owen loses concentration in his moment of shock and Phillip attacks. This time Phillip doesn't mess around. He gets Owen down and relentlessly pounds on his head while Stephanie screams in the background for him to let up, "Poor Owen can't afford a face transplant like some people."

Phillip continues to pound. It seems he's going to give Owen a new face for free.

Nosy Lucas opens one of Will's books and finds a rehab brochure. He gives Mia a stern look, "What the hell is this doing in here."

"Just a wild guess," says Mia, "But maybe Will's using it for a bookmark."

Hearing the news that Rafe is adopting Grace, EJ blows his ever-lovin' stack. He insists he won't allow it, "Ralph Hernandez is a lowlife! He butts into Samantha's life and gets fired and will be around my son forever!"

Nicole says she thinks EJ is making too much of this, She tires to distract him and changes the subject, "What if the cops find Owen before you do?"

Phillip turns Owen's face to sausage as Bo and Hope rush in, "I see we're just in time," says Bo.

"Yep," says Hope, "As usual, we got here just as soon as we were no longer needed." Phillip stops whuppin' up on Owen and makes sure Stephanie isn't hurt. He tells her they can go home. Melanie rushes in and Brady whoas her up.

It seems suave, debonair Rafe has taken a tip from the Guy Manual, "After you have swept her off her feet and shared a beautiful evening of passion, always top things off by pulling out an envelope full of complex, confusing legal documents."

Sami looks over the papers and somehow avoids hurling, "Eeeeuuuwwww, filling out these will take forever!"

"It's already done," says Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True, "Those are just copies. The work is already done. Rafe Hernandez does not mess around."

"Fortunately," says Sami, "you do on occasion." Sami is sooo grateful. Rafe thinks of other ways she can show her appreciation. Appreciative Sami goes to work. Uh-oh. Trumped by Grace. Rafe the uber-perfect guy gets up and takes care of things.

GM Bankruptcy? Why doesn't GM just rig the car radios to play a Crappyos product placement ad when turned on? They'll make a fortune!

Lucas scowls and asks Mia if Will has been drinking. "This may sound odd," says Mia, "but even with you and Sami as Will's parents he has managed to remain sober. I'm the one. I've been going to a 12-step meetings ever since I got out of rehab."

Lucas is amazed, "Twelve is such a big number." He tells her not to give up the program, and leaves.

Outside, Will hangs up his phone. Lucas comes up to him and tells him they have to have a talk soon, "I want you to be careful with Mia... very careful."

Bo grills Owen, who refuses to talk. Hope hauls him out. Bo follows but says he will be back as soon as they don't need him again. Stephanie tells Melanie she heard her when she was in the morgue earlier and is grateful for everything she's done.

Melanie does her best western hero imitation. She tips her imaginary hat and uses her imaginary brain to find the right words, "I'm just doin' my job ma'am."

Phillip joins the Melanie Fan Club and says he wouldn't have gotten into the morgue if not for Melanie.

Will can't believe Mia told Lucas she just got out of rehab, "Chill, we're just friends."

"No, you're not."

EJ rants about both Owen and Rafe. He vows to do something about both of them. Nicole tells him this is Rafe and Sami's decision not his. She doesn't want him to butt in, "You just don't have the ability to walk away, especially when it involves Sami. You are jealous of Rafe."

Rafe has gotten Grace back to sleep. He worries that she still feels hot. Sami says she is teething.

"Poor kid," says Rafe.

"What," gasps Sami, "you don't want her to have teeth?"

"No," says Rafe, "I meant she's a poor kid since she has you as a mother."

"With you as the father," says Sami, "No harm shall come to my daughter." Translation: Better run while you can Grace. Rafe says he has to get to work. They agree things will be just hunky dory as long as they have each other. Sami gets sappy, "I have you, my kids... I finally have everything I ever wanted. I'm so happy." Do I hear the Everly Brothers singing in the background?

Bye-bye love, bye-bye happiness.
Hello loneliness, I think I'm-a gonna cry.
Bye-bye love, bye-bye sweet caress.
Hello emptiness, I feel like I could die.
Bye-bye my love, goodbye.


The cops clean things up and send Brady away. Melanie chases. Stephanie assures Phillip she will be fine. She asks about him telling Owen she was pregnant. He says he did that as a distraction. He wants a family someday, though. He asks what Owen did to her. She says he didn't hurt her. "What really did happen," says Phillip, "Talk to me."

If this relationship lasts, he won't be asking her to do that much.

Lucas orders Will to stay away from Mia. They argue. Mia watches as Will vows, "I'm never giving Mia up."

Brady misses being in the crypt so much he has gone back there. He wanders around and tells Isabella he misses her and loves her very much. Melanie watches.

Stephanie assures Phillip she is fine. Hugs.

EJ pulls a reversal and tells Nicole she is the one who is jealous. Nicole challenges him to put his family first and not go running off to Sami.

Sami is on the phone with the doctor's office, "My daughter has been running a fever. I have an appointment but I would like to move it up and bring her in tomorrow morning if possible." Suddenly, Sami looks over at Grace's crib and sees things have gone terribly wrong. She rushes over, "Grace! Grace! Grace!"


Previews
========

Maggie tells Mia, "You're gonna move in with me."

Chloe stands in the shower and gives Daniel an inviting look, "Please come back in."

Arianna says, "You might not see it, Rafe, but I do. And that's why I can't let you make the same mistake again. I won't."

Sami panics on the phone, "Rafe, there is something wrong with Grace. Call me. I'm going to the hospital."

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze


7 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

"Hope, I think I found a clue."

"It's about time you got a clue," says Hope.

Now, if only the writers would get a clue.

Suddenly, he gets an idea, "I know how we can get out of here!"

"What do I have to remove this time," asks Melanie.

Let’s see. We are can rule out a brain and a personality because Melanie doesn’t have either one.

Rafe reassures her, "I love carpentry and I'm learning the ropes quickly.”

If I were a carpenter
And you were a lady,
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you have my baby?

Wait a minute. Sami already has a baby, and it’s EJ’s. Rafe wants to adopt Sami and EJ’s baby but he sure doesn’t want to marry her. Hmmm – maybe I picked the wrong song. On the other hand, what is the correct song for this incredibly stupid scenario?

As they move in on each other, Sydney gets restless and breaks things up, sparing us yet another shot of open pores.

Thank goodness for small favors bestowed upon us by the soft porn happy DOOL writers.

EJ tells Nicole he has to take Johnny back to Sami tomorrow morning.

Why was Johnny at the mansion? Even for DOOL, it is totally beyond belief that Sami didn’t know anything about EJ cooling his jets in jail. Sami should have been high tailing over to the mansion to pull her son out of Nicole’s clutches. Good grief!

Nicole tells him this is Rafe and Sami's decision not his. She doesn't want him to butt in.

If Nicole didn’t want EJ to butt in, she should have kept her mouth shut about the adoption.

Suddenly, Sami looks over at Grace's crib and sees things have gone terribly wrong. She rushes over, "Grace! Grace! Grace!"

…and DOOL has one less paycheck to write.

My oh my, this was certainly an action packed Prevuze update filled with play by play for exciting fights, writhing bodies, stellar detective work, and Brady splats. Prevuze also provided excellent background music to complete the entertainment experience for the faithful. I am sure Don and Phil appreciate the thought! After a stint on the DL, Prevuze comes off the bench, grabs a bat, and hits one out of the park right onto Waveland Avenue! Excellent job Prevuze!!

5:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the man I just started sleeping with/dating whipped out illegal adoption papers for my kid from under the bed after we just got done frolicking, I would run like the wind. But what the heck do I know.

6:42 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Stephanie watches and squeals like a mouse with its tail in a blender.

That was an insult to all brave mice everywhere. Jeez what a pathetic wimp Stephanie is. And she was supposedly once a race car driver? Did she ever push her car over 50mph?

Bob Anderson Memorial Freeway during rush hour.

I commend Prevuze on a great reference to a golden oldie. Of course, that reference is to a time in DOOL so old it’s sort of a moldy oldie now. lolol

“You have to hold your arm tighter against her neck," says Phillip, "Or she'll never shut up.

Tighter still and we wouldn't have to listen to her at all anymore!

in a shot almost too daring for daytime TV, we get a closeup of one of the pores on Rafe's forehead. …Sami, Rafe, afterglow. The aforementioned pores glisten.

Somehow Prevuze’s description just takes all the romance out of these scenes.

A HUH?! Moment:
Rafe says he has to get to work.

I thought it was the middle of the night. There’s a construction job going in the middle of the night? Or is he just saying he has to leave and get some rest because he’ll need to get up early in the AM?

Second HUH?! Moment: The Brainless Brady duo take Owen and leave everyone else behind.

I know Ho & Dope are clueless cops, but I believe most law enforcement protocols would have had the officers take Philip (who the pair has been looking for all day) and Stephanie (who is the victim of a kidnapping) down to the station for statements, questioning, just for the heck of it!!

Loved having a new Prevuze today full of snark and great photos. Contemplating the picture of Lucas it occured to me that the Guy Manual should have a separate section written just for losers. Lucluless's advice to Will would make a great addition.

Happy Tuesday all!

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the man I just started sleeping with/dating whipped out illegal adoption papers for my kid from under the bed after we just got done frolicking, I would run like the wind. But what the heck do I know.Blank copies at that bcause he doesn't want her to see some of his personal information.

7:17 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

On the other hand, what is the correct song for this incredibly stupid scenario?

Fools Rush In? Brain Damage?

that reference is to a time in DOOL so old it’s sort of a moldy oldie now. lolol

True, but let's face it, Bob is pretty moldy himself by now.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Some of my "Huh?" moments and comments have been mentioned but they bear repeating.

First, Nicole, if you're afraid EJ is still obsessed with Sami how about not bringing her up every chance you get?

And I also wondered about Rafe having to get to his job - at night. Heck, where I live they barely work during the daytime. (Especially road construction.)

They really have raised Loserclueless to a new level of obnoxiousness. Any normal teen would've given it right back to him.

And I LOL over "I see we're just in time," says Bo. "Yep," says Hope, "As usual, we got here just as soon as we were no longer needed."Also, the Bob Anderson reference even tho I can't remember what happened to him. Prevuze, you've got a mind like a steel trap!

I was so glad to see Prevuze today, I wasn't expecting one since Norris was going to have to make a return trip. What a relief! :D

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

in a shot almost too daring for daytime TV, we get a closeup of one of the pores on Rafe's forehead.OMG - DOOL missed a chance for a product placement for a pore reducing cream.

12:32 PM  

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