Letting Things Fester

Holly to Doug: "Tattling on you like a two-year-old… who does that?" Tate. #DAYS

Alex butts in on on Sarah and Stephanie. Does anyone in Salem ever say, "Excuse us, but this is a private conversation." #DAYS

Holly and Tate are meant for each other. When they graduate I hope they can both get into the same nursery school. #DAYS

Couldn't Stephanie and Sarah just claim this is a mixup about Stephanie's previous relationship with Phillip? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I'm not sleeping with Phillip but we are sharing a secret." Alex: "What is that secret?" Stephanie: "What part of 'secret' confused you?" #DAYS

Patch: "Neither Shane nor you can stop me." Andrew: "I'm just here monitoring the situation." Translation: Shane has him there to babysit Patch. #DAYS

When will the people of Salem learn sometimes it's better to tell the truth and suffer the consequences instead of keeping secrets and letting things fester until they become World War III? I'm talking to you, Sarah, Stephanie, Kate, Phillip, and now Alex. #DAYS
 
Steve: "Someone here is building a nuclear device." Andrew: "They're going to sell it to the highest bidder. The ISA is concerned it might fall into the wrong hands." It's a black-market nuclear device… is there any such thing as the "right hands?" #DAYS

Doing It With Wesson Oil

Gabi to Javi: "Maybe JJ stepped out to get something." I don't know about now, but by the looks of the meal he's set up it looks like JJ is going to get something after dinner. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Doug (on phone): "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Holly: "No… I'm still dressed." #DAYS

Cat smears mustard all over Chad. The way things are going with them, they're only one step away from her doing it with Wesson Oil. #DAYS

So basically the method Marlena wants Patch to use to find John is to just find him. #DAYS

Tate rats out Doug III: "What was I thinking?" You were thinking, "a few years in prison or being completely ostracized by Salemites will help keep Douggie from Holly." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Let me explain, son…" Johnny: "Don't you dare call me son!" EJ: "OK, let me explain, my little bastard…" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "Take off your wet clothes and I'll put them in the dryer." Doug III: "Your clothes look a little damp. You should take them off and dry them with mine to save energy." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "If I hadn't raped your mother, you wouldn't have been born." Johnny: "Don't try to wiggle out of this on a technicality." #DAYS

Doug III to Holly: "What's Tate going to think about me camping out in your bedroom?" He's going to think about grabbing his dad's shotgun and coming over for a visit. #DAYS

When we get to the "Who shot EJ" part of this plot, the answer will be: A firing squad consisting of half the people in Salem. #DAYS

Spineless, Soulless, Self-Serving, Snake

Next on #DOOL — Joy: "We need to clear the air." Alex: "You're right. And I hope you'll excuse me for farting." #DAYS

Theresa has to go to California to be with Kimberly. This paves the way for Gwen to come back. #DAYS

EJ: "Where do you get off?" Kate: "Upstairs in bed with Roman." #DAYS

Kate to EJ: "Roman could wipe the floor with you." If EJ was unconscious. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi to Javi: "You are a cereal monogamist." Javi: "No, sometimes I buy more than one brand of cereal at a time."

EJ's chickens are coming home to roost, bringing with them the Kate Roberts version of the bird flu. #DAYS

Mother Blake says EJ should have to pay for all his sins. If he does the DiMeras would go bankrupt. #DAYS

Protip: If you have a stolen high-profile item like, for example, a family heirloom necklace, don't walk around town wearing it for everyone to see. #DAYS

DougIII likes reading the little poems Doug left for Julie. For example: "Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Addie is dead, I'm coming after you." #DAYS

Rachael to EJ: "You spineless, soulless, self-serving, snake." Nice alliteration. #DAYS

Rachael should never have let EJ know the serum didn't work. She needs to learn to play things close to the vest. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "We've got some time to ourselves. What do you want to do?" Tate: "Hang out, watch a movie, order pizza, bang your lights out…" #DAYS

A Souvenir

Q: What do you call Marlena when she's upset? A: A Thera-pissed. #DAYS

Alex looks like someone dipped him in a vat of spray tanning fluid. #DAYS

Scenes We'd like to see: Shane's secretary walks in and hands him a message saying his job as Federal Director of the ISA has been eliminated by Elon Musk. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shane: "Mission details are on a need-to-know basis." Steve: "Great. I need to know." #DAYS

Phillip to Joy: "I think you still have feelings for Alex." Maybe or maybe not, but she definitely has a souvenir from their relationship. #DAYS

Down She Goes

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "Holly and I aren't really talking right now." Sophia: "Drat the bad luck." #DAYS

Johnny: "What did my dad do to my mom that was as bad as Fenniger?" This would be a good time for a flashback. #DAYS

Belle is a tower of strength… then down she goes under the force of Tsunami EJ. #DAYS

Holly to Doug III: "Let's sneak into Melinda's apartment and steal the necklace back." What could go wrong? #DAYS

Paulina: "Belle is committed to throwing the book at EJ." Instead of a book she threw herself at him. #DAYS

Paulina: "Belle is committed to throwing the book at EJ." Forget the book… she threw herself at him. #DAYS

A Third Class Felony

Next on #DOOL — Cat is arrested for answering the door fully clothed – a third class felony in Salem. #DAYS

Theresa is drinking a mocktail. Why have a $1 coke when you can have a $12 drink with an umbrella in it? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Theresa: "I can't believe you weren't thinking straight when you had sex with Sophia." Tate: "When he's having sex no guy is thinking straight." #DAYS

EJ: "I'm going to make this family's problems disappear." Johnny: "So you're leaving town?" #DAYS

Belle: "I don't condone or approve of anything EJ has done." She means outside the bedroom. #DAYS

Half-Naked

Maggie brings lemon bars to the nurses' station. That'll save the hospital from going bankrupt. #DAYS

Sarah and Stephanie agree to keep things quiet. What do you call it when two Salemites keep a secret? A miracle. #DAYS

Cat opens the door half naked and finds Chad there. Opening the door half naked is a long-held Salem tradition. #DAYS

Alex: "You think Wei Shin will help you take over DiMera? That idea is Wei off base" #DAYS

Stephanie to Joy: "I know it was wrong to violate your privacy like I did, but I just love juicy gossip." #DAYS

Felicity tries to play matchmaker for Chad and Cat. It's possible Cat answering the door half-naked did a better job of that. #DAYS

After asking if Joy is pregnant, Stephanie agrees it was out of line to pry into Joy's private life, then asks if Joy is sure the baby is Alex'. BWAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS

Javi asks Leo to move in with him. What could go wrong? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Joy Wesley might be pregnant with your baby." Alex: "How could that be? We were careful. Joy is on the pill. She takes an aspirin every day." #DAYS

The way Chad and Cat are flirting he should just take her right there on the couch and get it over with. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "No matter how Joy's pregnancy turns out, I am committed to you." Steph: "Then we should get married." Alex: "I'm not that committed." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: "We were understaffed at the hospital today, but we saved some lives." Maggie: "How did you save lives?" Sarah: "Because of budget cuts we stopped providing our coffee at the nurses' stations." #DAYS

Apparently Alex and Stephanie were the only ones who didn't realize Joy was lying about not being pregnant. I'm sure all the viewers knew that. #DAYS

Her Sweet Ass

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "You've been missing for three months." Rafe: "Three months? What did I get for Christmas?" #DAYS

Gabi to Belle: "When are you going to lock up EJ and throw away the key." When she's in the bedroom with him? #DAYS

Ava goes crazy trying to convince Brady that Rachel is crazy. They should have Patsy Cline playing in the background. #DAYS

Shawn to JJ: "I let Jada lean on me. Then I leaned on her. Then one thing led to another…" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — JJ: "It sounds like there was more than consoling to your relationship with Jada." Shawn: "I'm going to confide in you… I nailed her sweet ass into the fourth dimension." #DAYS

Short Skirt and Tight Low Top

When I was in high school if a gal wore a skirt as short as Holly's and a top as tight and low she'd be sent home and assigned a week of detention. She'd also have been very popular with the guys. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Trask: "Your mother is unstable." Kristen: "I'll buy her a walker." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "I need you." Ava: "I'm here to give you all the emotional support you need." Brady: "Who said anything about emotional support?" #DAYS

Marlena: "Do you know what John would do if I was missing? He'd be scouring the planet for me." And that's exactly what he did the twenty times you've been missing. #DAYS

Kristen: "I am the CEO of an international conglomerate." And she goes into the office every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday… in June. #DAYS

Screwed

Jada: "You know… Rafe… My fiancee… whom I replaced…" Rafe: "You know… Rafe… Me." #DAYS

Alex: "Titan is a big company. Things will be fine." Joy: "Either they will or they won't." She really went out on a limb with that prediction, didn't she? And, by the way, things won't be fine. #DAYS

Joy: "If I'm pregnant, I'm screwed." Obviously. #DAYS

Sophia is knocked up after a single roll in the hay with Tate. Joy is pregnant after her romp with Alex. Could Jada be pregnant after her fling with Shawn? Q: What is the preferred method of birth control in Salem? A: Drink large volumes of water and pee it out. #DAYS

Bitch-Slap

John… missing in action. If John's gotta go, better in action than wasting away in a hospital bed. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip: "Do you have any corporate experience?" Joy: "Plenty… Walmart, Target, Nieman Marcus, Tiffany, Sax, and others." Phillip: "You've worked at all those places." Joy: "No. I shop there." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "CPS said if Brady and Kristen have one more incident with Rachael, they could take her away from them." Belle: "If I were Brady and Ava, I'd be planning another incident right away." #DAYS

Joy to Phillip: "My mom would love to hear what a mess I've made of my life." Probably not something she should have said to a prospective employer. #DAYS

Phillip hires Joy. Her first assignment: to apply for pregnancy leave. #DAYS

Stephanie to Kayla: "I would never do anything to jeopardize the hospital." The doctors that work there do enough of that. #DAYS

Ava slaps Kristen… a perfect application of the term, "bitch-slap." #DAYS

A Gal With An Ass Like Yours

Next on #DOOL — Kat: "Do you want me to pick something up for lunch." Marlena: "No. I'll go to the pub." Kat: "I'll alert the emergency room that you'll be in later." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip: "We have enough funding to acquire another company." Xander: "Let's buy Twitter. Maybe we can pull it out of the dumpster." #DAYS

Chad: "My brother is a lawyer who is not afraid of litigation." Well there's a major revelation. What do you call a lawyer who is afraid of litigation? Homeless. #DAYS

Salemites live in a state where abortion is legal. Apparently, however, birth control isn't. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Are you regretting not going to LA with 'Body and Soul?'" Alex: "Not when I'm here banging a gal with an ass like yours." #DAYS

The flashback takes us back to a time when John was Roman and Roman was Chris Kositchek. If your #DOOL experience doesn't go back that far, don't worry… they worked things out. #DAYS

Bad Christian Values

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "Mrs. Choi wants the baby to go to a couple with good Christian values." Johnny: "Chanel and I don't have Christian values." Tate: "Would you be willing to move up to at least having bad Christian values?" #DAYS

My list of "Good Christian Values" must be out of date. It doesn't include "lying about leading a Bible class." #DAYS

As an example of her good Christian values, Chanel could tell Mrs. Choi about her three-way with Allie and Alex. Wasn't that a major example of "love thy neighbor?" #DAYS

Johnny to Mrs. Choi: "Chanel and I are in this for the long-haul… Our second marriage is working out a lot better than the first." #DAYS

If Chanel wears that cross much longer she might burst into flame.

Next on #DOOL — Mrs. Choi: "Well, the DiMeras may not have good Christian values, but you sure are entertaining." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "There is no way Mrs. Choi would let us adopt her grandchild." Paulina: "At this point I don't think she would let you adopt one of the puppies her dog just had." #DAYS