Thursday, April 16, 2009

Blow It Up, Blow It Out

OR... "One Hell Of A Bachelor Party"

OR... "The Sequence Leaves Something To Be Desired"

OR... "Vladimir Putin And Michael Vick"

Stefano drinks liqueur as EJ comes into the rumpus room. Stefano says he has ordered a car, "Do you want a drink? You might need one." EJ pours a double. Stefano adds more and salutes, "To Anthony." They drink up. "This is not only your wedding day," says Stefano, "It is also the day Phillip Kiriakis will have paid in full for what he did."

Masi checks his pistol.

Phillip walks into a hotel room and finds Stephanie dressed in a... well, actually, "dressed" is an overstatement. Phillip does a double-take, "Wow! I wish all my clients dressed like that."

Stephanie says, "This is strictly business. Because business is all that gets your attention." At the moment, something else seems to have Phillip's attention. Cheesy trumpet music plays as Stephanie takes his cell phone and they get down to, uh... business.

A nurse tells Lexie she's working too hard, "My God, you've been here five minutes already!"

"You're right," says Lexie, "I'd better take a break before I collapse. I have to go read scripture at my brothers wedding."

Dr. Baker watches and hears Lexie talking about the wedding, "Well, I guess my invitation got lost in the mail."

Nicole sits in the sanctuary and tells Sydney pretty soon her daddy will make an honest woman out of her. There must be a new definition of honesty.

Sami calls Rafe as she walks out of her apartment with Grace. Back inside, Johnny and Allie play with matches. Sami leaves a message and tells Grace she has a sick feeling and her hands are shaking, But it's better that the truth comes out now."

Chloe finds Nicole and tells her she needs to finish getting ready, "Just think, at the end of this day we will be a couple of old married ladies."

Nicole gasps, "NO!"

Chloe says, "I was kidding."

"It's not that," says Nicole, "I left my pearls in the car."

"Oh," says Chloe, "Well now I can see why you went suicidal. I'll go get them." As she leaves, she bumps into Brady in the narthex and tells him to get out.

Nicole prays, "Dear God, if you take care of EJ and Sydney... I just want to be a good mother to her. And I want to be a good wife to EJ. I know I screwed up. The reason I'm doing this is... I just need your help. Thank you." She turns to find Dr. Baker watching. Not finding him exactly to be the answer to her prayer, Nicole turns back to the altar, looks up at God and says, "That's really not funny."

God tries to stifle his chuckling, "That was a good one. I learned it from Lucas."

Nicole turns back to Baker, "Get out now."

Dr. Baker asks, "Do you really expect me to stay away on your big day?"

Lexie sits at the bar in the pub. Max comes up and tells her the order will take a minute. He offers his condolences about Tony. Lexie says she is is conflicted about going to the wedding after what's happened. Max reminds her after she eats food from the pub, she won't have to worry about the wedding since they'll be rushing her to the hospital instead. She thanks him for his concern and Max goes for her order.

Brady tells Chloe he wants to see Nicole. Chloe doesn't think that's a good idea. Brady disagrees, and Chloe comes unglued, "I'm sick of men who think they know what women want more than the women do."

Brady asks, "Where is this coming from?"

Chloe snaps, "From me... telling you to turn around and go home."

Dr. Baker says he's hurt by Nicole's attitude. He thinks he had a lot to do with putting this day together. Nicole just wants him to get out.

EJ and Stefano stand like statues in the rumpus room and watch the plants grow. "This is turning out to be one hell of a bachelor party," says EJ, "If it gets any less exciting I'd swear it's an episode of DOOL."

Stefano tells EJ how much his love for his children will grow, "You will come to love them more than you can ever believe."

"Just like Victor loves Phillip."

"I know," says Stefano, "That's why this is being done."

Stephanie helps Phillip undress. "No one," she says, "even has a clue where we are."

Masi searches.

Sami rushes into the pub all in a dither, "MAX! I got a flat tire and need you to blow it up, blow it out, or whatever.!"

Stephanie nibbles. Phillip can't believe how happy he is right now. Things get happier.

Stefano says they shouldn't tell Nicole about Phillip's fate before it happens, "She has no role in the family business. Tell her she is the only person who could have saved Phillip's life and she chose not to. Now it's time for you to make her a real member of this family... in the eyes of God."

"God help all of us," whispers EJ.

Dr. Baker says he did not appreciate Nicole replacing him as Sydney's pediatrician. He says he is there to remind her she should not get on his bad side. Nicole doesn't want him at the wedding. "I was thinking of bringing a guest," says Baker, "Maybe Mia." Nicole says she doesn't want him to rain on her parade.

Chloe tries to get Brady to leave. Brady refuses. "If you barge in there," says Chloe, "you won't even have a chance at this. You know... in 'The Graduate' when Benjamin whisked Elaine from the church at the last minute... that was just a movie."

"And this," says Brady, "is just a two bit soap opera."

Nicole prays. She flashes back to Mia telling her she lied. Apparently Dr. Baker has gone for a pre-ceremony crack at the punchbowl.

Max agrees to go fix the tire. Sami tells Grace things are not going well.

Stefano and EJ arrive at the church. Lexie tells them Abe isn't there because he thought it wouldn't be a good idea for the mayor to show up at a DiMera wedding. Father Mac greets them. They all go into the sanctuary except EJ, who gets a call. Masi tells them the Kiriakis mansion is empty.

Stephanie and Phillip. Phillip gasps, "Are you sure?" Stephanie is sure.

Prevuze

Soft porn ensues. As they writhe around, music blasts in the background, "Come on baby take me. Do just want you want to do. Baby I can't stop. Not when it gets this hot." Man, this is a classy show.

Masi rages.

EJ sees Brady and asks him to leave. Brady asks, "What are you going to do throw me out?"

"If I have to."

Chloe brings the pearls and tells Nicole Brady wants to talk to her. Nicole frets, "Brady's here? Who else is going to show up at this wedding? Sami? Victor? Vladimir Putin and Michael Vick?"

Stefano and EJ instruct their flunky to keep an eye on Brady. EJ tells Stefano Masi can't find Phillip. Stefano pulls a card out of his pocket and tells EJ to give Masi the number on it. Another flunky comes up and EJ gives him the card, "When everything is done you destroy that." Stefano tells EJ to forget about business and concentrate on Nicole.

Chloe tells Nicole she looks beautiful. She heads out as Nicole continues to worry. She takes a deep breath, "Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!"

Max returns and tells Sami the spare in her car is flat, too. Chelsea has his car and Caroline is on jury duty, so Sami can't use her car. Sami decides she has to walk to the church. She runs out of the pub to get the stroller from her car. Outside, she bumps into Masi, "Jerk."

Max leans down and tells Grace she won't have a boring life. Suddenly Max scowls, "Are you OK? You don't feel good do you?" Dumb-da-dumb-dumb! Apparently, not only will Grace not have a boring life, she also won't have a long one. Unless... unless... she can get a blood transfusion from her... gasp... MOTHER!

Chloe comes down the aisle. Then Nicole. She and Brady share a stare as she heads in. Nicole arrives at the altar and Brady leaves. Flunky #1 follows.

EJ asks Nicole, "Are you ready?"

"Absolutely."

Father Mack begins the ceremony. He looks at Sydney, "Not long ago we had a ceremony here in the church with that little one, and now today we joyously join her parents in holy matrimony, although the sequence leaves something to be desired."

Brady watches from the foyer, "Good luck, Nicole, you are gonna need it." Flunky #1 follows him as he goes.

Masi is on the phone, "It won't be a problem." He hangs up and gets another call. A pair of lips tells him, "Phillip Kiriakis is at the Ambassador hotel. 1812 East Main."

"Which room," asks Masi.

"I don't know," says the voice, "But there are only a few hundred of them."


Masi hangs up, "As the Americans say, you're gonna go out with a bank." In this economy, that's how most Americans did go out.

Stephanie. Phillip. Afterglow. Stephanie says she's glad they had all those fights. "Fights," asks Phillip, "I act like a jerk and you tell me I'm acting like a jerk. That's not a fight." Stephanie is glad they happened because it made them face their issues. She says she acted like she did because she was scared he was going to hurt her. Phillip says he's going to try to be the guy she can trust, and then heads in for seconds...

Sami comes back into the pub and rants about a parking ticket. Max tells her Grace is sick. Sami doesn't buy it, but Max tells Sami she should take Grace to a doctor.

The wedding...

Sami tries to convince Grace she doesn't have a fever. Vultures circle. Max offers to take Grace to a doctor. Sami insists she's fine, "What... do you want her to live? "

The wedding... "Like all couples," says Father Mack, "Nicole and EJ have had their ups and downs. In fact that's how this all got started." We go through a series of flashbacks. Arguments... The switcheroo... Nicole cries and EJ hands her a hankie.

EJ peeks at his watch, "It seems like this episode has lasted for hours."

Sami goes nuts trying to convince Max Grace is not sick, "I am taking her to EJ right now!"

The wedding...

Brady wanders at the pier. Flunky #1 follows. Brady turns and sees him.

Flunky #2 gets a call.

Masi paces outside the room. He takes out his gun and listens.

"I love you," gasps Phillip. We pan out through the window, where we find Johnny and Allie dangling from a ledge on the 96th floor.

Sami walks outside and hears the church bells, "No! We're too late!"

EJ takes Nicole's hands as the priest asks the dreaded question, "If there are any here present who know any just cause that this couple should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

We wait...

We wait...

We wait...

Mia steps up, "I would like to..."

As EJ's head spins like a top, the priest asks, "Yes dear, what is it you would like to say?"

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


17 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

RETCHHHHH!!! That is the sound of me using my handy dandy DOOL themed barf bag. Steponme and Phillip along with EJ and Nicole have forced me to lose my breakfast.

Nicole and EJ have had their ups and downs Gack how can we forget elevator sex? That is the whole freakin reason for this crap afterall. -da-dumb-dumb! Apparently, not only will Grace not have a boring life, she also won't have a long one. Unless... unless... she can get a blood transfusion from her... gasp... MOTHER! Now we are talking!

The thing that bothered me today besides the wedding (barf bag handy by my side and I am locked and loaded) was how could Max (who we only recently learned want to go to med school) be all hey this kid has a fever - she needs a doctor, so bad - I can take her....HUH???

It's like EJ has no friends, no one at this Bachelor party? Who ever heard of one minutes before the wedding. I hate that all these what ifs are taking place when we all know this sham wedding is being shoved down our throats and will take place. We knew it the second Nicole did not sign a prenup.

Mia? Doctor Baker? Sami? Chloe? Brady? Auntie Em? Can someone please, please end this crapastic storyline?

Ah but Prevuze, like a shining beacon in the dark - drops in, saves the day so I don't have to actually watch this take place (I can deny to myself it happened) - best part? Lucas being compared to a pumpkin. Worthy of coffee being spewed on my keyboard and down my chin.

3:50 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"She has no role in the family business. Tell her she is the only person who could have saved Phillip's life and she chose not to. Now it's time for you to make her a real member of this family... in the eyes of God."That doesn’t even make any sense. Doesn’t Nicole’s decision affect the family business so how can she not have a role in it? If she becomes a real member of the family, won’t she automatically be earning a business card? She certainly knows what’s going on. Turning a blind eye to all the nefarious acts doesn’t negate her complicity especially in the eyes of God.

"God help all of us," whispers EJ.“Us” includes the viewers!

“You know... in 'The Graduate' when Benjamin whisked Elaine from the church at the last minute... that was just a movie."

"And this," says Brady, "is just a two bit soap opera."
I would place a wager that neither one of them could pick Simon or Garfunkel out of a lineup.

“Vladimir Putin and Michael Vick?"...and Nicole knows who these people are? I bet not!

"Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!"Prevuze, this also could have been the phrase that pays.

EJ peeks at his watch, "It seems like this episode has lasted for hours."…and the wedding will last for days.

We pan out through the window, where we find Johnny and Allie dangling from a ledge on the 96th floor.They must be at the Sears Tower. Excuse me. That would be the Willis Group Holdings Ltd Tower.

My oh my Berg tell us how you really feel!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!! Actually you are pretty much echoing my sentiments. You go girl!!! Yes, barf bags locked and soon to be loaded! Prevuze, I do believe you are accurately predicting the need for a blood transfusion. Didn’t Dr. Baker mention this to Nicole? Oh the subtle foreshadowing employed by the crack DOOL writing team....or is it that they’re smoking crack? If I were God, I would be filing lawsuit for libel for writing me into this mess.

5:51 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Berg, Leslie, let me add AMEN!!

Loved the separated at birth picture (which would also work with the toothy little grimace Melanie constantly employs).

Mia reading about rampant Salem High truancy pointed out how unrealistically DOOL usually portrays teens.

Oh, not so much that Salem High must have the most lenient attendance policy in the world. It's the fact that the writers have a teenager actually READING a newspaper and not surfing the net on their cellphone. Come on now! How much of this make-believe are we supposed to swallow? lol

Not that DOOL ever bothers with a lot of continuity checks, but how did the baby-dealing doc get past Chloe when Brady didn't?

My favorite Prevuism today: God tries to stifle his chuckling, "That was a good one. I learned it from Lucas."This whole Prevuze recap was a funny one. Too bad DOOL can't learn from YOU!

6:10 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Come on baby take me???. Do just want you want to do???. Baby I can't stop. Not when it gets this hot???...." Man, this is a classy show" Prevuze adds...NOT!!! Who comes up with such crappy lines? Oh yeah, the crack smoking writing team at DOOL!

For real, not only do we need
our ready to use barf bags if we make the wrong choice and watch the show, but we'll also need a set of good ear plugs to cut out the cheest sex talk! My goodness, was that dialogue really necessary? I mean, really!!!

And EJ keeps looking at his watch during his wedding ceremony? Isn't this the time when he should feel nervous and stumble on the words to his wedding vows? Oh, by the way I notice they did not discuss making up their own vows - if they were what would they be? I, EJ Dimera take thee Nicole as my...to have and to hold until the elevator ride crashes - or, until I have marital sex with you and use Sami as my visual aid(spoilers say this should happen sometime after this whole travesty of a wedding is over)...Nothing like DOOL to make us sick to our stomack! Thanks Prevuze for providing us with your own version of the nausea pill, hence making it bearable for us to read about this tagic event, otherwise known as the EJ/Nicole wedding.

6:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to Pookie?

7:30 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Thank you, Berg, for the picture compliment! And I agree - I didn't realize just applying to go to med school qualifies Max to be the town pediatrician. HAHAHAHA

This wedding is so bad it sounds watchable - just to see how few people are in attendance.

And can't we all pity the poor slob who has Maggie, the town crier, on their jury?

LOL over "As the Americans say, you're gonna go out with a bank." In this economy, that's how most Americans did go out." Sad but true. And Johnny and Allie dangling from a ledge on the 96th floor. Theo and Ciara have probably already jumped.

Great Prevuze today. Thanks!!

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

Pookie had to be fired when the cuts were made. Dog bones were just too expensive, Melanie was cheaper.

8:14 AM  
Anonymous bgirl said...

I second that emotion - rrrreeeeetttttcccccchhhhhh! Could this show ever for once just redeem everyone. Let Nicole realize that Brady loves her - knowing all her horrible doings, secrets, and past & she could start a life with him and adopt. Sami could actually tell the truth and start fresh - as far as Lucas, Kate, Dr. Feelumgood, and Chloe - well you could redeem them with I don't know some type of obliterating accident that just make them go away - and start over with some new characters and WRITERS! Or just go ahead and put this dog down.

8:17 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Come on baby take me???. Do just want you want to do???. Baby I can't stop. Not when it gets this hot???...." Man, this is a classy show" Prevuze adds...NOT!!! Who comes up with such crappy lines? Oh yeah, the crack smoking writing team at DOOL!

I should have made it more clear that those were the words to the song, not what either Stephanie or Phillip were actually saying. So we have to give the writers points for not coming up with dialogue like that, but then we have to take the points right back for them choosing a song which had it.

8:32 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Dog bones were just too expensive, Melanie was cheaper.

OUCH! I think we're going to have to issue a game misconduct for that one.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Pookie had to be fired when the cuts were made.

I was going to suggest Pookie watched this episode and had to change her name to Pukie.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Ej should pull a Ross;
I EJ, take thee Samantha... Nicole!

"I'm sick of men who think they know what women want more than the women do."Not that I'm disagreeing with the spirit of the message, but wow... the self denial is strong in that one.

~I'm not really getting Baker, Nicole is getting desperate, has more than a few screws loose, and is marrying into what is essentially a mafia family and he decides to badger her??

Elaine from the church at the last minute... that was just a movie."Because in 'real life' we always forgive those who infected us with flesh eating bacteria.

~Putin and Vick, wut? It's not like Brady came back from the dead, jeez.

~Man, Sami sure loves running into hitman.

Re: Mia. She looks like someone who reads. I dunno. If it were Will or Melanie, then I'd agree. lol

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Berg said...

My oh my Berg tell us how you really feel!!!
Well I am in good company at least!

Bulldog, I am still chuckling over that photo.

And lastly, where is flesh eating bacteria when you need it?

9:23 AM  
Anonymous Whiskey Sour said...

Is that your bionic leg.... BWAH!!!

The only thing that will save this eppy is for EJ to pull a Ross and call Nicole Samanther and for Stephanie go bonkers ala Jan Spears and introduce Phil to a cage.

11:01 AM  
Anonymous dazeisdum said...

I'm still waiting for poor Mia to meet the Jan Spears memorial rock.

11:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it wasnt for EJ saying Samanthers name when Ej and Nic were having elevator (barf vomit gag) sex Nic wouldnt have got preggers! It was the magic of samis name haha
I hope EJ doesnt sneeze at the wedding he'll impregnate most of Canada!
Cant wait for this story to be over and the proper fued of kiriakis (ki ri a kis a la Stephano) and dimeras to begin yipee
Lets hope Dr love has a break for a week.
Dont care who Brady kisses but can we please see him without his shirt on already its been long enough haha
As usual prevuze you rock! x

1:46 PM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

...for Stephanie go bonkers ala Jan Spears and introduce Phil to a cage.OMG, Whiskey! You know it's gotten bad when a mention of Jan and the cage 'o love actually evokes a huge feeling of nostalgia for the "good old days".

Have I really been reduced to this?? Longing for crazy Jan, handcuffed Shawn, and Belle pretending to love Philip??

8:15 PM  

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