Monday, October 29, 2007

Maybe I'll Break A Few Commandments

Inside the hallowed halls of the Felta house, Cordy is preparing to leave. Max acts like he gives a damn and tells her everyone will miss her. Ford and his date stagger in. Ford screams, "IT'S PARTY TIME! WAKE UP, LOSERS!" The DOOL writing staff wakes up.

Ford's date shushes him, "Everybody is sleeping!"

"Aww..." says Ford, "It's time for the audience to wake up anyway"

Ford wants scotch, rocks. Max thinks he's had enough scotch. In that case, Ford wants champagne. He slurs, "I'm shorry if I embarrashed you, Cordelia."

Patch stands at the window thinking about life. Kayla gets out of bed and joins him. They lost John and Benjy. "And now Pocket-man," says Patch, "He took up a lot of space."

"In here or your heart," says Kayla, "At least you're not going to lose me." Kiss.

"That really would kill me," says Patch, "Again."

Suddenly, they hear a noise. Patch says he will check it out.

Nick rages and pounds on the door, "Leave my kids alone!" Chelsea tells him about the weight-triggered bomb. "Don't panic," panics Nick. Nick's mind races. He calculates weight vs. speed factors as he inspects the bomb she's standing on. He recognizes it as a land mine, "It's an S-4250. The 'S' stands for 'smithereens,' and the 4250 is the approximate number of pieces your body will be in when it blows."

Chelsea whimpers, "You have to help me. I don't want to die."

The audience yells in unison, "That makes one of us!"

Patch tells Kayla to dial 911 as he opens the bedroom door and heads into the jaws of death. Kayla listens

"What are you doing here," asks Patch. Silence. Patch yells back in, "Hold off, I nabbed our thief." Kayla goes out into the living room to find Stephanie.

She tells them she's heading for her old room. Mom and Dad, of course are curious. Stephanie explains, "Whenever something good happens in my life, it's my job to ruin it." Kayla hugs. Patch wonders.

Ford taunts Cordy, "What? You're not in a party mood? There's a shocker! I KNOW! I WANT MOMOMAS!"

"That's Mimosas," says Bimbette,

Max thinks Ford has had enough. Ford slurs, "What're you? The new house mom?" He decided he'll get the booze while Bimbette gets the tunes. Bimby leaves and Ford heads for the kitchen to get champagne.

Now that Ford has left, Cordy comes back out. "We need to talk," says Max.

Nick huffs, puffs and finds an old TV. Chelsea whimpers, "What are you doing? What if it doesn't work?"

"I'm not cheating Salem out of the pretties girl in town. If the bomb goes off, whoever she is and wherever she is, she will still be safe, while you head for kingdom come." Max instructs her to step off while he slides the TV onto the bomb, "One... two..."

Patch and Kayla are in the bedroom with Stephanie. It doesn't take Patch too long to figure out it's going to be girl talk and he won't be welcome. He goes into the next room. Kayla asks why she kicked him out. "I didn't want him to know his daughter is a tramp."

CENSORED! DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK!

Stephanie breaks down, "I'm terrible, Mama. I went to a party tonight and made out with a guy. He had his hands all over me and I was cool with it." Kayla thinks if she really were a tramp she'd be in his bed right now.

Max thinks Cordy's leaving is sudden. Cordy thinks it's none of Max' business. Max asks if this has to do with her date with Ford. Cordy deflects the question. Max offers to listen. Cordy says there is nothing to talk about. Max gives up and leaves. Cordy sits in a heap. On his way out, Max brushes by Ford and bumps into him. Ford wonders what that was all aobut, "I know – You're not getting any from Morgan so you're taking it out on me? What a shame, Max."

Max grabs him, "You really are drunk." He throws him on the couch. Ford starts to get up, but Max warns him, "Do yourself a favor and stay down."

Chelsea whines, "If we don't make it... I'm glad you were in my life."

"If we don't make it," says Nick, "We'll just have to pick up the pieces."

He positions the TV beside the bomb, "One... two... three..." he pulls the switcheroo. Chelsea clamps her hand over her mouth and rushes off, "I'm going to be sick."

Nick asks, "Have you been watching DOOL again?"

Sudden banging on the door interrupts the pukalicious moment. Chelsea whines, "What are we gonna do?"

Stephanie says she pulled her tramp act to get back at Max. Kayla asks if she was supposed to move into the sorority house. "I was," says Stephanie, "until the Max and Morgan show started."

Kayla says, "You can't really fix things with him if he doesn't want to fix them."

Stephanie says, "Or with him and Morgan in front of my face."

The pounding on the door gets louder. Then, the bomb starts beeping. Umar Abhud barges in and pulls them out of the room, "GET DOWN!" The three of them lie there forever and then the beeping stops. Nick and Abhud look at each other. Umar goes back into the room to check it out. He comes back and says it was never on, "Whoever did this really wanted to scare you."

"They succeeded," says Nick, "Being locked alone in a room with Chelsea was the most frightening thing I have ever been through." Nick wants to see the boys.

"All in due time, Mr. Fallon," says Abhud.

The cops mill around the scene of the fake-bomb caper. Nick wants to know where the boys are. Now that the case is closed, Billie and Jett show up. Nick explains what happened. Jett says he is going to go find out what he can, but in the meantime, he brings Mr. Abhud over. Abhud, in turn, produces the kids. After the big reunion, Nick bawls them out for following him.

Umar sends the kids back to the police car and tells Nick their father really is alive.

"What," gasps Nick, "A DOOL character back from the dead? What will they think of next."

"It's safe for the children to be returned to him," says Umar.

Billie comes up. Inquiring minds want to know, "Who kidnapped my daughter?"

Umar explains the father's enemies wanted to use the kids for leverage, but the dastardly ne'er-do-wells have been apprehended, "The danger is over and the parents are greatly in Nick's debt."

"They certainly caught the criminals quickly," says Billie.

"That's because the Salem Police weren't involved," says Abhud.


Nick asks to talk to the kids. Umar grants his wish.

Nick goes over and gets the boys out of the car. Grab that box of Kleenex, folks. Chelsea watches as Nick has his tender goodbye. The boys, of course, wonder if Nick is going to come with them. He says he'll miss them, but can visit sometime, I want my kids to be just like you, smart, funny and great all around guys, who would be boneheaded enough to follow me into a dangerous situation like this. You know where to find me." Hugs. Artemis and DeMarquette will never forget him. High fives and the tearful exit.

Nick turns to Chelsea, who by this time is pumping more capacity than the Salem Water Works. Hugs.

It's early morning in Salem. Morgan comes into the living room, finds Max sleeping and kisses him. She says she had been out looking for Chelsea, but got a text message from her and she is OK. Max tells her about Decker the drunkard being there last night. Max says he slept on the couch after Decker left to make sure he didn't come back.

"He's a pain," says Morgan, "But a harmless one." Max thinks he's the reason Cordy is dropping out.

Dr. Kayla dulls Stephanie's case of Poormeitis with drugs and tells her she doesn't have to move back into the sorority. She thinks Stephanie might meet another guy. Stephanie don' wan' no other stinkin' guy. Patch comes in and announces that Dr. Johnson has a page from the hospital. Kayla leaves to check it out.

Patch tries to be cheerful, "What's the word?"

"Slut."

Stephanie apologizes for not being a better daughter. Patch thinks she's perfect. He says he's clueless as to what they were talking about but if it was about Max, he might be able to help. He makes his best shot at sounding like he knows what he's talking about, "For most guys it's all about geography. You know, where is she gonna be and how often can I see her." Stephanie acts like that actually meant something.

Patch goes on, "Adrienne told me the Heart has been really busy since the auction. She might be able to use your help there. If you don't want to work with Max, I'll shut up."

"Tell him you don't want to work with max," chants the audience.

Max asks if Morgan asked Cordy about her date with Ford. Morgan thinks maybe the date was just a bust. Max asks, "If Ford did something to Cordy, what's to stop him from doing it to another girl."

Jett comes up to Chelsea. Chelsea ask, "Did you finally stop bleeding?"

He says he missed her. She says she's been pretty busy at school. He says he likes his job and has been hoping to run into her on campus. He thought they had started something. He wonders if he did or said something to hurt her. Chelsea brushes it off. She says she just thinks their schedules are too busy. Jett asks he out to dinner.

Chelsea shoots him down and goes over to Nick. They talk about the boys and the empty apartment Nick has to go back to. Chelsea takes his hand. Jett watches.

Chelsea asks Nick to take her back to the Felta house. Jett butts in and says he can take her. Nick says he will do it and goes for the car. Jett tells Chelsea it looks like maybe she and Nick are "on again." Chelsea says the relationship has been on and off for a while, "Last night Nick showed me the type of guy he is. He is a whiz at disarming unarmed bombs."

Jett asks, "So does that mean dinner's out?"

The poor guy can't get a straight answer. Billie interrupts with a hug from Bo. She tells Billie Nick is taking her back to the sorority house. As Billie leaves to tie up loose ends she says, "Don't ever scare me like that again."

Jett asks about dinner, "Is that a no?"

"It's an 'I'll call you,'" says Chelsea.

Patch thinks if they work together Max will realize he wants Stephanie. Stephanie thinks Max will know it was a setup. She apologizes for being such a slut with Jeremy.

Patch says, "Live and learn, right?"

Stephanie just wants to be more like Kayla, "She wouldn't get into stupid situations, like having a husband who flies off the handle and spends a lot of time in mental institutions."

Patch tells her it took Kayla years to become as screwed up as she is, "Making mistakes is human."

"I'm definitely human," says Stephanie. The jury is still out on that.

Kayla comes in. She says she got someone to cover for her at the hospital because God forbid she should have to work. She asks for coffee. Patch will get some and invites Stephanie to breakfast.

"Can I put my two cents in," says Kayla.

"Can I stop you," asks Stephanie.

"Take a leap of faith and let Max go," says Kayla, "Start over with somebody new."

Chelsea and Nick sit on the couch back at the sorority. Chelsea wonders is Nick ever thought they would wind up together on the couch like this after their big adventure this evening, "China Lee knew you would take care of the boys. I've been thinking about all the times you've tried to save me or make me think I'm special. You're a hero, Nick, and I love you for that." Nick dives in for his 'thank you.'

Billie and Jett come back as the cops clean up. Jett wants to go get some sleep. "Its' our first Halloween on campus," says Billie, "Nobody is gonna be sleeping."

Jett asks, "Has Chelsea mentioned me? I feel like I might have ticked her off or something."

Billie tells him to talk to Chelsea herself after breakfast, "Come on – I'll treat."

"All I want is breakfast," says Jett.

Max and Morgan sneak in and advise Nick and Chelsea to come up for air. "Don't you have something better to do," asks Nick.

"As a matter of fact I do," says Mas, as he and Morgan head upstairs. Chelsea's jaw hits the floor.

Chelsea invites Nick to stay. Nick says he has to face the empty apartment sometime. Chelsea asks, "Do you want me to come with you?" He says he doesn't. Chelsea tells him about the big Halloween party the sorority is throwing tonight. She asks him to come, "If your red cape is not at the cleaner."

"Tights optional," he asks. Chelsea says she's going as the devil. Nick decides to wear his collar, "Maybe I'll break a few commandments."

Kayla and Stephanie in bed. Patch barges in, "All right! Family bed!" He climbs in and tells Stephanie Adrienne needs help at the Cheatin' Heart. Stephanie will think about it.

She heads to shower and then will join them for breakfast.

Patch climbs back in. "Imagine that," says Kayla, "A job where Max works. You're a hopeless romantic." He asks what Stephanie was crying about. She tells him she blew things out of proportion.

"So that's all I get," says He asks.

"She just made some mistakes," says Kayla.

"I can tell you one thing that wasn't a mistake," says Patch, "Us."

Patch looks around to check if the coast is clear and then they both dive under the covers. It's been so long, Patch can't remember what to do next.

Outside, Stephanie cries, "You'll never forgive me Max. Not after last night."



Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

17 Comments:

Blogger Deb said...

Checking the DOOL scorecard:

Chelsea and Nick - Don't care
Stephanie and Max - Don't care
Patch and Kayla - Don't care
Morgan - Don't care
Cordy - Don't care
Ford Thunderbird - REALLY Don't care
Kids leaving - Care a little they were at least interesting.
Jett - Don't care
Billie - Don't care
I Felta Guy - Don't care

Well that about covers it.
DOOL has earned the rating:
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

WTF *sorry* happened??????????
Seriously, all summer we had to put up with the 90210/Kiss This Guy airline crap, but at least there was some good parts thrown in here and there.
Now they have just given up and tossed us into the pit of HELL!

I miss my soap. I miss the actual drama. I miss caring about what happened to the people.
This sucks.

4:33 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Billie tells him to talk to Chelsea herself after breakfast, "Come on – I'll treat."

"All I want is breakfast," says Jett.

LMAO...great Prevuze this morning!

Deb, I agree with your scorecard whole-heartedly. but I just caught up with last week's shows and I didn't zap as much as I thought I would...is there hope on the horizon? I AM kind of getting into the twins a bit more.

5:07 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

OMG! I have to print Prevuze and read on the run so the only part I've seen yet are the pictures and those will have me LOL all day! Hope's jewelry? HAHAHAHAHHA Not to mention Jr.'s "advice" for the bomb.

Can't wait to read it and get even more laughs. Thanks, Prevuze! :D

5:47 AM  
Anonymous LB said...

Deb, I completely agree with your scorecard although I see potential with Max & Morgan assuming (haha) that Stephanie grows up or leaves Salem. Also, I was in a sorority while in college (graduated in 2002) and house rules were very strict--to the point your house charter could be revoked--on A)no alcohol in the house; B) no guys in the house; C)no parties with guys and alochol in the house. We went to fraternities for that. And from what I can remember those rules were not exclusive to our sorority but were the rules of the Pan-Hel Counsel (or something to the effect of all the sororities at the national level). It's pretty obvious the writers do not one single clue at all. It's amazing how they can take a somewhat decent/potential SL and turn it into trash.

5:48 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Ditto on Deb’s score card.

6:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what do Stefanie's comment in the proviews mean:, "Max will never forgive me for WHAT?????Hooking back up with Jerkemy?

I am glad to see her growing up a little! I like to see her and Kayla being civil together...
I have to agree with Kayla - dump Max (Mr. Macho Womanizer). Why couldn't we hook Stefanie up with someone like Phillip?
I know he's older - but soooo is Max!
Or hook up with Jett - then Jerkemy could come back to Salem and be like... "Hey you were my best friend and you stole my girl!" I could just see it!

And Poor, Patch, he's sooooo out numbered by chicks in his life..... Kayla, Stefanie, Adrienne, etc... Can you say "HEN-PECKED'?

Max sure has become "big man on campus". Ha ha ha! He should get a job with campus security... Speaking of a job - WHAT DOES Max actually do now FOR MONEY??? He still has his apartment, right??? Hmmmmm....

And here we go again, Chelsea and Nick - BACK ON!!!!! Just until she has one of her very insecure moments and doesn't deserve Nick ...again!...

Too bad Jett... Chelsea KINDA blew you off! But I think Jet should hook up with Billie... Hmmmm... that would be interesting! And just think, Billie's life would sure 'perk up'.

Thanks Prevuze for such a fantastic job. Your article is certainly good for a few morning laughs!

6:58 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

At least we don't have to see and hear Lumi "arguing about the terms"

Fake bomb? Nick just hands the kids over without some proof of parentage? Did the kids seem comfortable?

Yeah, Billie could use a little sizzle in her life. But can it be someone who isn't attached to someone else or has conflicting feelings about another. Especially Chelsea.

Mama and Papa? What decade are they living in?

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A lot of people call their parents mama and papa. It has nothing to do with the times, but to the parents'preference. Most people don't call their parents mom and dad. That's just over here.

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Salemnite said...

Sorry, No one was on today that didn't make me physically ill. The 90210 crowd 'boring'. I can watch OC or OTH if I care about rich little surburbanite, crying because life is unfair.. Get over it! That's the problem with Days. Stop catering to these tennie boppers. And stop alienating the Adults who have been watching for Decades.

I didn't enjoy reading the Prevuze. It was more entertaining than the actual show today.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

First day after vacation and I've been so busy trying to dig myself out from under I JUST got to Prevuze. It was worth waiting for!

LOL at Jennifer's picture of Shawn bellowing for Grandma. I was glad to see Philip finally getting some licks in, even after Jr threw the first punch followed by hitting Phil over the head with a coffee pot and spraying something in his face.

Bulldog's Frankenstein monster was a hoot as well as Shawn's advice to Nick.

The best Prevuism for me? What S-4250 stood for. LOLOL

Question for Prevuze, though. Who was Abul? Scar-face or the guy who kidnapped Chelsea? And talk about a whirl-wind SL wrap-up with dangling plot lines!! Just one more missed opportunity to actually do something different with this soap.

Thanks Prevuze for my afternoon pick-me-up.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Salemnite said...

I "DID" enjoy the Prevuze today! (Damn Typo) :P

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Sami asks, "It's that bad?" Belle says, "I slept with Phillip."

Wow, lose lips sink ships!

1:17 PM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

LOOSE ones too :-) HA

1:22 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Question for Prevuze, though. Who was Abul?

Umar Abhud is Scarface. In fact, "Umar Abhud" is Messopotamian for "Al Capone."

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Wow, lose lips sink ships!

Speaking of lips, loose or otherwise, Kate’s keep expanding and Lucas’ just disappear. Does this mean they are not related or didn’t Lucas get his mother’s lip gene?

3:04 PM  
Anonymous moposh said...

Is Jett really that dense? He can't seem to take a hint. She's not that into you Jett!!!! Move on. I hear Steph is free.

Ford is going to turn out to be that serial rapist and he put the moves on Cordy and that's why she's moving out all of a sudden.

I can't believe Steve is actually pushing Steph to date her uncle.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous moposh said...

I'm glad they wrapped up the kids storyline. That was stupid from the get-go and now it seems Chelsick are back together.

11:32 AM  

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