Monkey Business

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "We can't do this again." EJ: "You mean after we do it at my place tonight?" Belle: "Yes, but then we can't do it again." EJ: "We can't do it again for how long?" Belle: "A couple days." EJ: "So we can do it every couple days?" Belle: "Unless we get horny in-between." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "Let's talk. I brought scones." Marlena: "Scones don't exactly stack up to my $450 per hour consulting fee." #DAYS

Leo: "If EJ was dressed when Shawn showed up and saw him with Belle, Shawn might have thought EJ was there for a business meeting." He was… monkey business. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Arnold gives Javi all kinds of excuses about "not doing anything" with Savannah than hands her a big wad o' cash as she leaves. #DAYS

Arnold: "Jada is my fiancee. We are not married. So no commandments were broken." I'm guessing Jada would have a different list of commandments. #DAYS

Round Two

I can't wait until Belle has EJ's baby. Especially after she gets back with Shawn and we can go for the next nine months of a "who's the daddy" story line. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "Sleeping together wea a big mistake." EJ: "The biggest." Belle: "Round 2?" EJ: "You bet." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena walks in on EJ and Belle: "How could you do this?" Belle: "I am a grown woman." EJ: "I can confirm that." #DAYS

Chanel to Shawn: "You and Belle had such a strong loving relationship." It was so strong it spilled over to other people. #DAYS

Punishment

Mystery Woman piks up the ringing phone: "It's your dad."Panicked Rachel: "OMG! WHAT DO WE DO?" Mystery Woman: "We justdon't answer it." Whoever in Salem would have ever thought ofsuch a bold new concept for avoiding a call? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "What happens when yougo to the hospital nine months pregnant and don't come home with ababy?" Sophia: "We'll tell my mom I wasn't pregnant… I justhad gas." #DAYS

EJ: "It's such a hassle keeping someonecaptive." Only on #DOOL. #DAYS

I think Arnold is dumber than Rafe… which justabout makes him a part of the plant kingdom. #DAYS

People behaving like Chanel are the exact reasonGod invented morning-after hangovers as punishment for the night-before. #DAYS

A Frickin' Nun

Amy: "If you were a mature, responsible adult you would not be in this position." There have been zillions of responsible adults in Sophia's position. Many, in fact, have been residents of Salem. #DAYS

Sophia: "After this, I'll become a frickin' nun." I'm pretty sure nuns take a vow not to frick. #DAYS

Scenes we wouldn't like to see: Rachel comes back SORASed as a teenager. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I received some bad news. My granddaughter has gone missing." Cat: "Rachel is missing?" Marlena: "Yes." Cat: "What's the bad news?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Kristin and I are never getting back together." Ava: "Drat the bad luck." #DAYS

Cat: "So you've been married more than once?" "Yes," says Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Thank you for giving me an ear." Ava: "Any other body parts you'd like me to give you?" #DAYS

His Built-In "Piece on the Side."

Bonnie can't go back to work anytime soon. Isn't it about time for Adrienne to come back from the dead? They could have her fill in. #DAYS

When Stephanie and Alex get back together Alex can still have Joy as his built-in "piece on the side." #DAYS

Question: In your town is it normal for a suspect brought in for questioning to be interviewed by the Police Commissioner, or are things just bass-ackwards in Salem? #DAYS

Joy: "Alex is the only one who hasn't been a complete and total jerk to me." Hey, kid, it's only a matter of time until Alex' inner jerk emerges. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "What do I have to say to get you to 'yes?'" Marlena: "You could say, 'Do you want me to leave now?'" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Joy: I don't know how I would have gotten through any of this without you." Alex: "I'm going back with Stephanie, so that will give you a chance to find out." #DAYS

Have You Seen Her Naked?

Hattie walks in and the first thing I thought of was she looked like something from Mad Magazine's "Spy vs. Spy" series. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "What is the status of your relationship with Joy?" Alex: "It's a trip to heaven on a Spacex rocket." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel/Faith: "Why would you have anything to do with that lying skank Reagan?" Alex/Arrow: "Have you seen her naked?" #DAYS

Adrienne gets "shafted" for real. #DAYS

At least on the way down, Bonnie didn't have to listen to the elevator music. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla: "Adrienne fell down an elevator shaft with nothing to break her fall." Sarah: "That's not true. The floor broke her fall." #DAYS

"Friendly"

As Brady and Ava get "friendly" I think I'm beginning to see another reason why Brady didn't want to break up with Ava. In fact this one might be at the top of the list. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "I want to find out what else we have in common." Ava: "Let's see if we both like the paint scheme in your bedroom." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "I'm going to have one of my Body and Soul characters be possessed by the devil." Marlena: "Have you been watching Days of our Lives?" Leo: "Nobody watches Days of our Lives." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "I'm here to expose Kerry as Lady Whistleblower once and for all." Javi: "I'm not a lady and my name isn't Whistle." #DAYS

A Snotty, Conniving Little Brat

Sarah's medical degree must be as forged as Phillip's letter because if she keeps this from her husband she doesn't have the mental ability to apply a band-aid. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "You've been in the DiMera tunnels all this time? Why?" Arnold/Rafe: "Because that's where EJ stores his booze." #DAYS

To save time later, I'm pre-announcing the impending divorce of Sarah and Xander. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "I have to go. I have a ton of work to do." Javi: "Metric ton or regular ton?" #DAYS

In case you missed the title of Holly's book, it's "Dating Cheaters for Dummies." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL —   Tate: "Holly and I are considering giving the baby up for adoption." Holly: "Why would anyone wan;t to give a baby up for adoption?" Tate: "Have you met Rachel?" #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Rachel goes into therapy with Marlena and successfully turns Marlena into a snotty, conniving little brat. #DAYS

Marlena to Leo: "Has Javi ever lived in Rochester? Does he have friends in Rochester? Has he ever talked to you about Rochester? Is he a Jack Benny fan?" If you get that one, you are really, really old. #DAYS

Brady's not about to give up on Ava. The guy hasn't been laid in forever and he doesn't want to miss a chance to get into those pants. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "You have saved me once again. How could I ever thank you?" Marlena: "You could pay me for a session sometime." #DAYS

Is Rachael running away? Could Brady and Kristen be so lucky? #DAYS

Coming Out Of The Woodwork

Phillip tells Kate his dinner plans with Stephanie have gone bye-bye.
Along with Stephanie. #DAYS

Maggie: "I'm not going to lose another member of this family because of
a sibling rivalry." Given the behavior of Xander and Phillip, I'd call
it a sniveling rivalry. #DAYS

Phillip is doing a whole lot of backpedaling for a guy with a peg leg. #DAYS

EJ's secret door opens and it's not just cockroaches that are coming out
of the woodwork. #DAYS

Shawn and JJ are going to be partners. Not like Kerry and Javi… like
police partners. I suppose that went without saying. #DAYS

JJ left cash at Gabi's place. Force of habit? #DAYS

Kerry isn't going trans but apparently his alter-ego already has. #DAYS

One Last Look

Holly to DougIII: "Something tells me there is more to the story." This is Salem. There is always more to the story. #DAYS

Stephanie overhears Phillip saying the letter was a forgery, then immediately confronts him with it. She certainly doesn't play it close to the vest, does she? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Julie: "I wonder if I'm partly responsible for Doug's death." Chad: "Of course not. You were an incredible wife to Doug. Even a better wife to him than your mother was." #DAYS

Chad to Julie: "Don't worry. Nothing is going to happen between me and Cat Green." Better reserve the church now. It's the busiest wedding venue in town. #DAYS

So far, Phillip's date with Stephanie isn't going well. #DAYS

Phillip takes one last look at Stephanie's ass as she walks out on him. #DAYS

Blaming Rachael

Brady blames Kristin for Rachael's behavior. Kristin blames Brady for Rachael's behavior. Anybody ever think of blaming Rachael? #DAYS

I'm guessing there is a pretty small chance Sophia will ask Holly to be her maid of honor when she gets married to Tate. #DAYS

Brady to Kristen: "How do we prove to our little girl that her mom and dad can get along?" Have mom and dad stay away from each other? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "What are you doing about Rachael's bad behavior?" Kristen: "I took away her phone, sent her to her room, and grounded her." Brady: "Funny, I didn't hear you mention anything about a paddle." #DAYS

Sophia to tate: "There is no way I could get through this pregnancy without you." She also couldn't have gotten into it without him. #DAYS

Everyone's Business

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "OMG! I'm going to be a father. I can't handle having an infant child." Brady: "Don't worry. Before you know it this show will have your kid SORASed into college." #DAYS=

Everyone that comes to the DiMera mansion says they got in because the door was unlocked. Harold must be the most incompetent butler ever but they have to keep him on so they can keep having these surprise visits. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "This whole thing was never any of Ava's business." Brady; "Don't you ever say that again! In Salem everything is everyone's business." #DAYS

Holly to Sophia: "You're probably tired after everything you've been through." She'll be really tired after everything she's going to go through… for about the next eighteen years. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Tate and Sophia getting married is not the answer." Mrs Choi: "Abortion is not the answer." Brady: "So what is the answer." Mrs. Choi: "My husband's shotgun." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristen: "You sent those texts." Rachel: "No I didn't." Kristen: "I know a lie when I hear one. I also know how to spank a liar." #DAYS

Ava blames herself for this mess. When all is said and done I think it's Tate and Sophia who are responsible for this mess. #DAYS

Promiscuous Adolescent Hormone-Crazed Sex Addicts

Belle on phone to EJ: "We didn't get much of a chance to talk last night." EJ probably considers that a plus. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "You lied to me about sleeping with my husband. How do you even manage to live with yourself?" Joy: "One-night-stand to one-night-stand." #DAYS

Chanel: "Johnny knows I would never cheat on him." Even if Allie came back? #DAYS

Abe to Stephanie: "We have to do something about Lady Whistleblower's reporting." Well, if you stopped cavorting like promiscuous adolescent hormone-crazed sex addicts she wouldn't have anything to write about, would she?

Next on #DOOL — Bonnie: "Let's get you back on Body and Soul." Hattie: "But my character is dead." Bonnie: "It's a soap opera. Nobody ever stays dead… I'm just hoping Adrienne doesn't come back on Days of our Lives." #DAYS

Strip Tennis

Alex and Joy… JJ and Gabi… Phillip and Stephanie… Stephanie obsessing over Alex… Chanel nukes over Johnny and Joy… Those folks down the road in Peyton Place were amateurs. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "Chanel may never even look at me again. If she can't look at me, how could she ever get back with me?" Abe: "By texting you?" #DAYS

Johnny, just tell Javi you and Gabi were playing 'strip tennis.' And you were losing. #DAYS

Johnny and Joy: Did they or didn't they? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of Chanel's wrath or to come clean about their carnal misdeeds. Only time will tell. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "You're a tough cookie." Joy: "Too bad for Johnny that he took a bite out of me." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip: "Maybe we could have dinner together." Stephanie: "Can we invite Alex?" #DAYS

Musical Hookups

DiMera New Year's party guests continue to play "musical hookups." However, Chanel thinks the bond between Johnny and Joy is anything but musical, or happy, or anything but infuriating. #DAYS

I'm surprised some of the guests at the party can count backwards from ten. #DAYS

Arnold, in his role as a proxy for Rafe, is all too happy to take advantage of Jada. #DAYS

I'm getting mixed up about who's with who and who has been with who and who is going to be with who. And by "with" I mean… Oh, heck, you know what I mean. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "I feel a little spark between us." JJ: "So do I." Gabi: "Sounds like those sparks are about to become a bonfire." #DAYS

The Wet Evening Gown Contest.

Joy: "I would die if Chanel found out what happened between Johnny and me." Because she would kill you?" #DAYS

EJ isn't enthusiastic about Chanel organizing a party. Chanel: "Roman is catering it. No one will have to lift a finger." I can think of a finger I'll bet EJ would like to lift right now. #DAYS

Not that Gabi's dress is low cut, but I don't think we've ever seen her belly button before. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I'm done making new year's resolutions. I try to stick to them but always wind up in bed with the guy anyway." #DAYS

Stephanie wins the Wet Evening Gown contest. #DAYS