The Sex Pistols, Smashing Pumpkins, and Poison

Brady asks Belle where Marlena is. Belle gives him the "look of death" implying Marlena has gone to the great soap opera in the sky. #DAYS

With all these scenes in the crypt I can't help thinking back to the time Brady and Melanie were trapped in there and Brady had Mel take off her underwire bra so he could use the wire as an antenna and get phone service. #DAYS

Given her methods of attempting to kill people, I'm guessing Rachel is a fan of the rock groups The Sex Pistols, Smashing Pumpkins, and Poison. #DAYS

Tate: "Would you be OK with me visiting Sophia?" Holly: "Yes." Translation: "No." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Kristen confessed to protect her daughter. She took the fall for Rachel." Belle: "Worst move ever." #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Rachel is tried as an adult and gets life in prison without parole. #DAYS

Kristen: "Tony… help me dig. I hit something solid." I always knew they'd find Jimmy Hoffa some day. #DAYS

Up The Duff

Gabi to Ari: "It's been a long time since we baked together." It was probably before Ari was SORASed. #DAYS

I'm surprised Mark and Aaron didn't try to microwave the turkey. #DAYS

Given the little snot Rachel is now can you imagine what a nasty conniving beeyotch she'll be when she grows up? #DAYS

Aaron asks Ali to go with him to see Sophia. There's a dream date for ya. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Sarah can't breathe." Roman: "Call 911." Brady: "- What's their phone number?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "You once told me 'up the duff' is a Limey term for 'knocked up.' Gwen: "True, but there is a more appropriate term for 'knocked up.'" Leo: "What's that?" Gwen: "Pregnant." #DAYS

EJ: "I don't know why Kristed broke out of prison." Just a wild guess – maybe she didn't like it there. #DAYS

Roman: "It's my restaurant. The buck stops with me."

Rachel hasn't killed anyone (yet) but she's definitely become a serial attempted murderer. #DAYS

Brady: "You nearly killed Sarah. What do you have to say about that?" Rachel: "Better luck next time." #DAYS

Little Snots

Brady to Rachel: "What's wrong?" She's a self centered spoiled brat dedicated to seeing to it that her dad remains celibate, that's what's wrong. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe sees Cat's bandaged wrist: "What happened?" Cat: "A hand job got a little rough." #DAYS

The modern, progressive approach to parenting dictates that parents never spank their children. That's why we get little snots like Rachel and Thomas. #Proverbs13 #DAYS

Rachel Googles Sarah and reads about all the nasty things about her: "Damn, she's as bad as I am." Finding out Sarah kidnapped her as a baby, this should really send Rachel over the edge. #GettingGood #DAYS

The Stick Up Johnny's Ass

L'il T gives his parents a dose of reality. #DAYS

Leo: "Scandals, dear Chadwick, are my raisin d'etre." Dried grapes are my raisin d'eat. #DAYS

Leo: "OMG, Chadwick, is this a dating app?" If Chad's using a dating app it must be hard-up.com – your only option is to swipe right on every picture. #DAYS

Straight guy viewers everywhere are praying for the top of Chanel's sweater to drop just a little bit more. #DAYS

Bekke to Shawn: "I don't know when I'm going to stop going after guys who are totally wrong for me." Belle is rushed to the hospital to have her foot extracted from her mouth. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Liam: "I don't want to take your handout." Abe: "Pretend you're robbing me." #DAYS

Johnny lets EJ look at L'il T then snorts, "This changes nothing between you and me." That stick up Johnny's ass seems to be making him particularly cranky. #DAYS

Paulina looks at L'il T, "Sound asleep… just like his mama." If you would shut up his mama might stay sound asleep. #DAYS

The Old Fashioned Way

Chad: "First Tony disappears and now Kristen. What's going on with this family?" It's just a wild guess, but I'd say people are disappearing. #DAYS

Stephanie: "I could model some of my new outfits if you like." Alex: "I definitely like." Imagine his disappointment when she models her new full length winter polar parka. #DAYS

Rafe: "I want to get involved with a woman the old fashioned way." Without his doppelganger horning in, I trust. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "I want to meet a woman the old fashioned way." Gabi: "What does that involve?" Rafe: "A one-night-stand with optional follow-up." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Lucas to Rafe and EJ: "What if Sami is just trying to get under our skin?" Rafe Rafe: "Well, we've all been under hers… so to speak." #DAYS

It's All About Me

Next on #DOOL — Sami: "I feel terrible for what you are going through." Belle: "What I am going through is having a conversation with you and you're right. It is, as always, terrible." #DAYS

EJ: "Dr. Marlena Evans experienced a medical emergency this evening." She probably got her latest hospital bill. #DAYS

Today's episode was very life-like and realistic… The dedication was just as boring as when you attend one of those ceremonies in person. #DAYS

Tony shouldn't have worn that shirt when he was painting the living room. #DAYS

Rachel: "I'm old enough to know the truth." Judging by her past behavior, she's also old enough to bend the truth. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rachel: "Did Mom escape so she could see me?" Brady: "what would make you think that?" Rachel: "Because it's all about me." #DAYS

Belle to Sarah: "Are you saying my mom got a false Lyme disease negative test?" Wouldn't a false negative Lyme disease test be a positive Lyme disease test? Think about it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Here are two bucks for the vending machine." Rachel: "What a cheapskate!" #DAYS

The Bunny Ranch

Scenes we'd like to see: Jennifer has to have reconstructive nose surgery after sticking it in so many people's business. #DAYS

Chad tells Thomas he gets to go home. Thomas: "I'm not going with you." Chad's lucky day. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Julie: "It reminded me of what happened to Addie when Thomas was hit by a car." Maggie: "In Salem we don't call it 'being hit by a car,' we call it 'being Zacked.'" #DAYS

Little T cries. Chanel to Johnny: "Do you think it's serious?" On this show it's always serious. Let the hysterics begin. #DAYS  

 
Next on #DOOL —  Marlena: "You and Damte Vitali have only been dating two months. Why did you decide o get married?" Sami: "We want to have sex." Marlena: "OMG, Sami, That's insane. You've had more extramarital sex than the entire brigade at the Bunny Ranch." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kate: "How did things go with Sami?" Lucas: "The only good thing I can say about her is I still wouldn't throw her out of bed for eating crackers." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "I'm going to do a background check on your fiance." Sami: "Not necessary. I check it out every time he walks past me." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Tony DiMera has been declared missing." Roman: "Missing what?" #DAYS

The Whoretons

Next on #DOOL — Julie: "This is Tate and his girlfriend Holly." Marie: "A couple, eh, based on my experience, make sure you're not brother and sister." #DAYS

Marie to Holly and tate: "What kind of stories do you want to hear." Start with all the juicy salacious ones. Come to think of it, those are the only ones. #DAYS

Kayla tells Thomas the Salem doctors are going to put his shoulder back where it belongs… as soon as they can figure out how to do something like that. #DAYS

After dishing the dirt in their interviews, Holly and Tate call their documentary "The Family History of the Whoretons." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jennifer: "Is Thomas OK?" Kayla: "They replaced his shoulder but unfortunately when he was screaming from the pain he dislocated his jaw." #DAYS

I Don't Give A Feck

Leo: "Thomas is sweet and charming" And a pumpkin launching mean little brat. #DAYS

Mark promises never to do anything ruthless again… but he wants to wring Chad's neck. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Are you sure you had nothing to do with Tony's disappearance?" EJ: "How could you even suggest that?" Gwen: "Well, we 86ed Dimitri." EJ: "Dimitri was a feckless con artist." Gwen: "He wasn't feckless. I'm pretty sure Dimitri had a feck or two." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Dimitri was a feckless con artist." Gwen: "For someone who was feckless, he certainly fecked up a lot." EJ: "When it comes to anything Dimitri did, I don't give a feck." #DAYS

None of Her Damn Business

The word "Tesoro" means "Treasure." It is gender-neutral which will come in handy in a few years when Little T has his sex-change operation. #DAYS

Johnny to Rafe: "You're like a father to me… The father who I would never even think about shooting." #DAYS

I wonder if the baby playing Tesoro in today's episode has a contract making him eligible for residuals. #DAYS

Hey, Javi and Leo, cheer up… You probably don't live more than a couple miles from Tesoro's new home, so you can still see a lot of him without the annoyance of having to change diapers. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ali: "I have to get back to school. I'm missing a class." Gabi: "How many have you missed?" Ali: "All of them." #DAYS

Ari insists shea nd Aaron are just friends. On this show that's code for them to start sending out the "save the date" cards. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Is there a reason you're trying to lure Sami Brady back into town?" EJ: "Well, I haven't raped anyone lately." #DAYS

EJ wants a moratorium on things that are, as he put it, none of Gwen's damn business. I imagine Gwen thinks there is nothing that is none of her damn business. #DAYS

Holly's Lady Godiva Costume

Tate: "Holly said she had to study. When doesn't she have to study?" When she's setting the dorm on fire. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "There is no excuse for what you did." Rachel: "I did it because I'm a mean, brainless child." Brady: "OK, so I guess there is an excuse." #DAYS

Aaron was with Sophia once. Tate was with Sophia once. Her entire sexual history consists of two one-night-stands and a pregnancy. She's off to a great start. #DAYS

Phillip to Sarah: "You can't tell my mom the truth." Yeah, how has not telling the truth worked out for Sarah in the past? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "You're in trouble." Rachel: "You can't ground me." Brady: "I'm not going to ground you. I'm going to spank you." Rachel: "On second thought, maybe you should ground me." #DAYS

Rachael's snotty attitude isn't exactly encouraging Brady to go easy on her. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rachel: "I want to do things together." Tate: "There's a lot we can do together. Since it's Halloween we could go back to your dorm room and you could model your Lady Godiva costume." #DAYS

The Flying Pumpkin

Johnny walks up with a stroller. Chanel: "Is that…" Johnny: "Yeah, Leo asked me to keep an eye on him for a few minutes." Well, if anyone needs someone to keep an eye on him, it's Leo. #DAYS

Susan has a premonition. Alex gets blasted with a flying pumpkin, which is the postmonition. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo and Javi change Tesoro's dirty diaper one final time for old times sake. #DAYS

Chad: "Would you still be sorry if that flying pumpkin had hit Cat?" Thomas: "Yes." That was the right answer, but I doubt it's sincere. #DAYS