A Terrorizing Rampage

Ari and Hollie are going to room together in a college dorm. They'll hate each other by midterms. #DAYS

Sarah doesn't want Holly to get hurt in her relationship with Tate. I guess Tate having a kid with another gal doesn't count as hurting. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: S'mores gets out of his cage, turns out to be venomous, and goes on a terrorizing rampage. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "What was the name of the adoption attorney's firm?" Tate: "Dewey, Cheatem & Howe." #DAYS

Rachael: "I miss my mom." Too bad she didn't miss EJ. #Rimshot #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sophia to Tate: "Not everything is about you… Mostly it's about me. #DAYS

Cheating, Lying, and Swindling

Gabi and Phillip do the deed. Gabi carves another notch on her bedpost. Phillip carves another notch on his wooden leg. #DAYS

Jada busts in on Alex. Walking in on people half naked is one of the traditions in Salem. #DAYS

Belle is making a habit of walking in on people en flagrante delicto. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ari: "Where have you been?" Gabi: "Out doing what you had better not be out doing." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander: I don't think cheating, lying, and swindling should be rewarded with kindness… unless I do the cheating, lying, and swindling." #DAYS

Nice Ass

Next on #DOOL — Rachael: "What could be worse for me than losing Mommy?" Marlena: "Reform school." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "You and Cat Green have been spending quite a bit of time together." Chad: "Not quality time." EJ: "What does that mean?" Chad: "We're not having sex." #DAYS

Brady: "Rachael is the best that came out of my time with you." So the BEST thing that came out of that relationship is a trigger-happy brat. #DAYS

Gwen and Cat have a few things in common. Conniving, cunning, vengeful, deceitful, nice ass. #DAYS

Rachel: "Is Mom OK?" How could she not be? She has the best cell in the SPD dungeon. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Rachel remembers and confesses but it has a happy ending because she gets thrown in the same cell with Kristin who is being held for making a false confession. #DAYS

A Heartless Sociopath

Johnny thinks trying to predict a jury verdict is a fool's errand. There must be a lot of people in Salem trying to predict the verdict. #DAYS

Brady thinks it's strange Sophia referred to the baby as "he" when Sophia previously said it's a girl. Maybe the baby is already trans. #DAYS

Paulina: "Only a heartless sociopath would do what Kristin did." Chanel: "You're right… which explains why Kristen did it." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "You look like a kid whose ice cream just fell off his cone." Marlena: "Her cone. My pronouns haven't changed." #DAYS

Kristen pleads guilty in order to protect her daughter Rachael "Annie Oakley" Black. #DAYS

Rachael owes Kristen a pretty big Mother's Day present next year. #DAYS

A Quickie

Alex says he knows Stephanie is busy and he shouldn't distract her. Stephanie: "I'm always ready for a certain kind of distraction." Translation: A quickie. #DAYS

Rachel breaks the glass ball after being told to put it down, then it's revealed she shot EJ. She needs both a spanking and a 20 year prison sentence. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Johnny is found guilty. EJ and Marlena have to go through all kinds of machinations to try to get the verdict reversed while keeping Rachael out of the Salem Reform School for Hopeless Brats. #DAYS
Tate thinks it would be better to stop obsessing over meeting his daughter, to "let it go." Doesn't he know people in Salem don't stop obsessing over things and just let them go? #DAYS

Kristin wants to wait until the jury decides and if they find Johnny guilty file an appeal. And in our slow-as-molasses court system the appeal would only take a few years. #DAYS

Even if EJ tells the court Rachael shot him and Kristen doesn't back him up, there is no corroboration and his revelation might not have much clout and wouldn't really change things. #DAYS

The SODDI Defence

Rachael tells the bookseller she's only interested in snakes. Because she knows so many of them in Salem. #DAYS

Chanel: "That video was doctored." Belle: "That's an insinuation." This from the woman who put the sin in insinuation. #DAYS

Chad and Cat reach the "you're a good friend" stage. FWB stage pending. #DAYS

Mr. Foster gives Rachael the book. She can read it in reform school. #DAYS

Johnny gives his summation using what is known as the SODDI defense. (Some Other Dude Did It). #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I'm taking an indefinite leave of absence." Cat: "For how long?" Marlena: "What part of 'indefinite confuses you? #DAYS

Mr. Foster is delighted the bookstore will be in Julie's capable hands. And her money will be in his capable hands. #DAYS

Her Horny Fans

Kayla thinks Patch is worried that Alex isn't "the one" for Stephanie. He might be her e pluribus unum, if you catch my drift. #DAYS

Johnny fires EJ and decides to represent himself. Given EJ's catastrophic strategy it's possible Johnny now has a better attorney. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Now can I get my son to trust me again?" Tony: "Have another son." #DAYS

People who have represented themselves in court: serial killer Ted Bundy, serial killer H.H. Holmes, Manson follower Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, DC serial killer John Allen Muhammad, Mafioso Carmine "The Snake" Persico, among others. Johnny DiMera joins a select group. #DAYS

A novelist named Anastasia Sands,
Wrote of love in far-off lands.
Her books were quite hot,
With a steamy subplot,
That she sold to her horny fans.

A Stupid Tosspot

Next on #DOOL:  Tate: "Why do you look so shocked?" Holly: "We were standing half-naked hugging and you asked, 'Do you want to..." Tate: "And you said 'yes' so we had sex." Holly: "Right, but I thought you meant, 'Do you want to have lunch.'" #DAYS

What good does it do if EJ remembers Johnny didn't shoot him. That means someone else shot him and that time it could have been anyone in Salem… including Johnny. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: "Did you enjoy sleeping with that British slut?" Xander: "Which one?" #DAYS

Paulina: "I made them hurry the City Council meeting along. Based on personal experience that is impossible. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander: "I could never cheat on you." Sarah: "Because you would be on someone else." #DAYS

Xander: "What the hell is wrong with you?" Gwen: "Nothing that a roll in the hay couldn't fix." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "You're a stupid tosspot." Xander: "Flattery will get you nowhere." #DAYS

Sex Is Out of the Question

Chad and Cat are living as if they've been married for 20 years. It's a congenial relationship but sex is out of the question. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "Do you mind if I take a shower here?" Tate: "Need company?"

I think this time Tate and Holly understand the gravity of what they are doing… because that's what made the towels fall. #DAYS

I hope Tate and Holly are using protection. Some lessons only need to be learned once. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "Was it good for you?" Holly: "Best five minutes of my life." #DAYS

Belle walks in on Tate and Holly: "YIKES! Who do you think you are… EJ and me?" #DAYS

Belle walking in on Holly and Tate romping would have qualified for one of my "Scenes we'd like to see" comments. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "Thanks for saying you'll be discrete about finding Holly and me having sex." Belle: "No problem. By the way, based on what I saw, you have a great ass." #DAYS

Until I Get Horny

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "I don't like to take medication." Gwen: "Even Viagra?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: "I won't surprise kiss you again." Brady: "Feel free to surprise me anytime." #DAYS

And thus begins the genesis of the Brady-Gabi-Xander-Sarah quadrangle. #DAYS

Marlena: "The Salem Hospital makes a great cappuccino." That's the first time "great" and anything involving hospital coffee has ever been used in the same sentence. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "You said I was dead to you." Belle: "You are… but our sex life isn't." #DAYS

Leo: "I find 'true crime' a little to murdery." It could also be a little                                        robberingy or kidnappingy or a lot of other thingsy. #DAYS

The outside of Marlena's apartment building looks like something built during the Soviet gulag. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Mrs. Cho: "I'd like to work on rebuilding our relationship." Sophia: "I'd like that… but you're not very good at that kind of thing." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "Have you broken things off with my dad?" Belle: "Yes… until the next time I get horny." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Mrs. Choi to Sophia: "I think you should see a therapist." Hmmm… I wonder who that would be. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: "Rachel breaks down on the stand and admits she shot EJ. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Mrs. Choi: "So Tesoro has two foster dads?" Javi: "Yes." Mrs. Choi: "I can recommend a good conversion therapist." #DAYS

Romantic Monkey Sex

Xander says he's letting his guard down. The way Gabi is plying him with liquor his guard is going to be down so far it's passed out on the floor. #DAYS

Xander has put away enough wine to get both Mogen and David dead drunk. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Judge: "Are you saying you and Ms. Black are romantically involved?" EJ: "Yes, we're having romantic monkey sex." #DAYS

Sarah: "Sophia's baby was definitely not a girl." Maybe she's trans. #DAYS

Brady and Sarah walk into the Bistro and… Gabi and Xander, sittin' in booth three, K-I-S-S-i-N-G.

After that sloppy kiss, Chad now has a cold, too. #DAYS

Belle made that sound pretty final. It might even be a couple days before she's back in bed with EJ again. #DAYS

A Drug-Crazed Sex Frenzy

Susan claims Stefano is alive. Maybe, if's not unusual to live to be 120… If you're a Galapagos Turtle. #DAYS

Chanel says she heard EJ was hard on Paulina in court. He was. And now he's pretty hard on Belle. #DAYS

Belle: "I'm doing my job to the best of my ability." She's also doing EJ to the best of her ability. #DAYS


Next on #DOOL – EJ: "Can you say what exactly is my relationship with your aunt Belle?" Johnny: "You're hammering her like Thor on a drug crazed sex frenzy." #DAYS

A Fornication Playground

Xander opens the show dreaming about having sex with Sarah while she's fully clothed. #DAYS

Julie: "Gabi Hernandez fornicated her way through my family." The last I checked it takes two to fornicate, which makes Julie's family a fornication playground. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — "If you don't think I have mono, what do you think it might be." Sarah: "You're pregnant." #DAYS

Julie: "I should keep my big mouth shut." That's a tall order. Maybe Super Glue comes in gallon jugs. #DAYS

Both Belle and EJ should recuse themselves from this case, but I understand. Salem is the place where responsibility and due diligence go to die. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "I know you believe Johnny is innocent, but what if he isn't?" Rafe: "Then he's guilty." #DAYS

His Morning Dump

Julie to JJ: "Under these circumstances ordinarily I'd call the police, but you are the police." Maybe she should call the REAL police. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL – Sami: "I miss John so much… the way he talked about baseball… the way he droned on and on… the little peephole he used to look into my bedroom. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL – Felicity: "My sister is missing." JJ: "So? She wouldn't be the first woman in Salem to spend the night at the guy's place." #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: "The elevator doors open and Chad & Cat are… oh, hell you're all thinking the same thing. #DAYS

I sure hope Chad can hold off on taking his morning dump. #DAYS