A Pre-Romp

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Your attitude about Everett feels like a 180°. What has changed?" Chad: "I'm not getting laid lately." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Theresa: "Constantine thinks I'm just after your money." Alex: "So… ever heard of a prenup?" Theresa: "Who said we're getting married?" Alex: "OK… ever heard of a pre-romp." #DAYS

I can't decide whether Chad should drop Stephanie la douce or Stephanie should drop the possessive Chad. #DAYS

Gallinaceous

Doing his crossword, Alex was looking for a six-letter word for a large gallinaceous bird. For those who were wondering, the dictionary defines gallinaceous as "of, belonging to, or characteristic of the order Galliformes." I hope that clears things up for you. #DAYS

Constantine: "I did something terrible. I kissed you." OMG! Someone grab a shotgun so we can get them married and make an honest woman out of Mags. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Now might be a good time to pop in." Theresa: "I thought we were taking it slow." Alex: "I meant pop in to see Maggie."

Looks like Constant-ine plans to stay Constant-ly. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Why do you have an engagement ring?" Everett: "I was a Boy Scout. Our motto was 'Be Prepared.'" #DAYS

Un-Cremated

Nicole: "Can I hold it?" Eric: "Of course..." Nicole: "FOR GOD'S SAKE ERIC, I MEANT CAN I HOLD THE BABY! PUT IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS!" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "This is my baby." EJ: "What makes you think that?" Nicole: "The birthmark on his forehead that looks like a picture of Satan." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "I'll trade you your freedom for Dimitri." Leo: "How about for an apology and a criminal to be named later?" #DAYS

Nicole thinks the baby she held was hers. She could be right. Maybe they un-cremated him. #DAYS

A MILF

Nicole is suffering from post-deadbaby-depression. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "I want to see our son." Doctor Pierce: "I'll see what I can dig up." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "We're going to get our baby." Sloan: "I can't believe it. I'm going to be a mom." Eric; "You'll be more than a mom… You'll be a MILF." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Dr. "Pierce: "When you asked me to do something shady, I thought you wanted me to prescribe some off-label weight-loss drug." Trask: "Watch it buster. I get Ozempic or nothing." #DAYS

Dr. Pierce: "Your baby was accidentally cremated." Nicole: "How can someone be ACCIDENTALLY cremated?" Dr. Pierce: "Let's put it this way. We have to ban smoking near the oxygen tanks in the morgue." #DAYS

A Hot Mess

Scenes we'd like to see: Any scene involving Alex, Ben, Theresa, and Gwen. #DAYS

Nicole: "Why does God keep letting things like this happen to us?" Maybe there's something to that "God punishes sinners" thing. #DAYS

Maggie to Constantine: "You're not from Greece. You're an angel sent from heaven." Reminder: Lucifer was also an angel from heaven. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "Why would God bless me with a child and then take the child away?" Eric: "He didn't want the child to have a lousy mother." #DAYS

Clyde asks Ava about lifting the evidence room keys. Does he not realize all prison phone calls are recorded? #DAYS

Sloan to Eric: "Your sister is a hot mess." Takes one to call one. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "I used to be a terrible person." Abe: "Define 'used to be.'" #DAYS

Handling Theresa

'Tis the Ides of November
So always remember,
Understanding #DOOL
Is the quest of a fool.
#DAYS

Protip for Chad: There is a dumpster outside the pub and it has Stephanie's name on it. You figure out the rest. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Ther-Gwen bumps into Gwe-resa and just like with matter vs. anti-matter, the world explodes. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Don't worry about me. I can handle myself." Brady: "I'll bet you're having more fun handling Theresa." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Everett: "You really get around. Why did you dump Alex?" Stephanie: "Becuase… So many men, so little time." #DAYS

Who Did What To Whom

Rafe: "It's hard to keep track of who did what to whom." It's Salem. Everyone did everything to everybody. #DAYS

Nicole: "The baby is missing and we can't find him." If you could find him he wouldn't be missing, would he? #DAYS

Johnny: "Why would Dimitri not bring the baby to Salem Hospital?" Maybe he wanted the baby to get good medical treatment. #DAYS

The doctor delivers the bad news that Nicole's baby didn't make it. Ask to see the body. Of course being Salem Hospital they may have an infant's body in stock. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "I trust we can have our baby's body." Doctor: "I'm sorry we can't do that. Today was trash day and the dumpster has already been emptied." #DAYS

Getting Some

The last time they showed someone in a car on #DOOL and there wasn't a crash was… never. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Melinda: "The biological mother is very moral. She does not want to give her baby to you." Sloan: "I could go to her and show her the real me." Melinda: "Her problem is you've shown too many men the real you." #DAYS

Melinda to Sloan: "This baby could be the answer to your prayers." Sloan wanted a baby, Dimitri showed up at her door with one… An Amazon Prime membership really pays off. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "My pregnant mother is missing. Why is it all you care about is getting some?" Tate: "Because I'm a guy." #DAYS

First Runner-Up

Stefan: "Belle is the best attorney this state has ever seen." Just call her F. Lee Belle-y. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Dimitri: "Leo and I are a package deal… and if you saw his package, you would know why." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "How are things going between you and Stephanie?" Chad: "There is a new problem. I think she's considering climbing Mt. Everett." #DAYS

Jada to Leo and Dimitri: "I'm bringing you both in… dead or alive." I don't think she can carry one of their bodies, let alone both. #DAYS

Sloan to Melissa: "Is there a problem with our baby?" It's Salem. There is ALWAYS a problem with the baby. #DAYS

Eric to Nicole: "If you think me marrying Sloan was a reaction to you marrying EJ, you're right. Sloan was the first runner-up. #DAYS

Strawberry Cream Body Butter

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "I want you and I won't take no for an answer." EJ: "If I said that they'd call me a toxic male." #DAYS

The Police Commissioner grills his sister who is suspected of murder. Once again due diligence at the Salem Police Department can be found rotting at the bottom of the dumpster in their back alley. #DAYS

Wendy: "I'm going to track down that psycho Gabi and make her pay for what she did." Sounds to me that will be a case of psycho vs. psycho. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Nicole and I are busy. Today is our wedding day." Paulina: "You two jumped the broom?" EJ: "Yes. And now I want to go up and jump Nicole." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "I'm the new District Attorney." Gabi: "Not our district, I hope." #DAYS

Strawberry cream body butter and edible strawberry massage lotion. John plans to smear it all over Marlena. I'm not sure if he's planning to have sex with her or enter the Great British Bake Off. #DAYS

What a coincidence. It's Maggie's wedding anniversary AND John and Marlena's. Of course John and Marlena have been married so many times it's odd if it's not their wedding anniversary. #DAYS

In fact, Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black celebrates every day just to make sure she doesn't miss commemorating every wedding anniversary. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "I hope I'm not interrupting." Marlena: "We were just going to have lunch. I ordered Chinese and John brought strawberry cream body butter and edible strawberry massage lotion. #DAYS

Alex to Theresa: "I know your reputation isn't sterling." Her reputation isn't corroded tin. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "I know you'll always have my back." Theresa: "I'd like to have the rest of you, too." #DAYS

Marlena gives John two six-iron golf clubs for their sixth (iron) anniversary. While we're on the golf theme I should point out their relationship has required a few mulligans. And John wants to get her in bed and mashie her, niblick on her neck, and then spoon with her. #DAYS

Banging Her Like A Big Bass Drum

Stephanie introduces Chad to Nick-erett, whose claim to fame, by the way, was the invention of a stop-smoking aid. #DAYS

Wendy thinks Li is ready to move on with his life. I think he's more likely to be moving on with his after-life. #DAYS

Everett to Chad and Stephanie: "I understand you guys are dating… in fact I guess you're more than dating." You got that right, Ev… Chad is banging her like a big bass drum. #DAYS

Chad… Stephanie is not for you. Stephanie… Chad is not for you. OK, that settles that. #DAYS

Stephanie to Chad and Everett: "I hope the three of us can be friends." Has Stephanie not learned jealousy turns Chad into an angry rattlesnake? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Harris: "Something about that guy rubs me the wrong way." Ava: "If you're not still hung up on that 'taking it slow' thing, how would you like me to rub you the right way?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Harris: "Li didn't make it. He's dead." Gabi: "Do they know who killed him?" Harris: "They think he committed Hari-Kari. Gabi: "In the back?" Harris: "He was a progressive. He wanted to be different." #DAYS

Pregnant Bride

If Gabi's fingernails were any longer she'd be Gabi Scissorhand. #DAYS

Nicole to Holly: "Just because I'm not married to Eric anymore doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with him." As short a time as you were married to Eric you practically didn't have a relationship with him. #DAYS

EJ to Chad: "We've got everything we need for a wedding, license, cake, invitations out, someone to perform the ceremony, pregnant bride..."

You don't have to make an appointment with Marlena. All you have to do is walk into her office and say, "I hope this isn't a bad time." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "This is going to be my very last wedding." Johnny: "You say that every time you get married." #DAYS