Any D*ck In A Drought

Wendy wants to know if Tripp wants to join her and Johnny watching TV. They'd better be watching "Three's Company." #DAYS

Johnny: "Are you in the mood for love?" Wendy: "You're such a dork." Just the answer every guy wants. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "I have feelings for Xander but I'm with Alex because I'm not going to be his second fiddle." Leo: "So what you're saying is 'any port in a storm?'" Gwen: "It's more like any d*ck in a drought." #DAYS

In Flagrante Delicto.

EJ: " Gabi and Stefan are having sex in the Salem Inn right now." Li: "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" EJ: "Not as much as Gabi and Stefan." #DAYS

Sloan: "Cagney and Lacey here are trying to railroad me." For the record, Rafe is Lacey. #DAYS

Li busts in to the room at the Salem Inn screaming that he has caught Gabi and Stefan In flagrante delicto. Trask emerges from the covers. Cute trick, Stefan. #DAYS

Stefan: "My heart and all my other body parts belong to Gabi." Trask: "Have you ever heard of a lend-lease program?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Where were you last night?" Sloan: "I was at home. I couldn't even get out of bed." Rafe: "Why?" Sloan: "Because Eric was weighing me down. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stefan: "EJ is playing checkers and we're playing chest." Gabi: "Don't you mean chess?" Stefan: "Wishful thinking." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stefan: "Something doesn't feel right." Gabi: "Take my bra off. I'll bet that makes them feel right." #DAYS

A Back Seat

You're overthinking this rendezvous with Gabi, Stefan. You don't need a hotel room. Your car has a back seat, doesn't it? #DAYS

Sloan "I-don't-want-a-relationship" Peterson sure has changed her tune. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "You're a doctor?" Talya: "Yes." Chanel: "Where did you learn to bake?" Talye: "Working on cadavers. My meat pies are the best." #DAYS

Little Bo Peep

If as many people would come back from the dead in real life as do it on #DOOL, the earth would not be able to survive the overpopulation problem that would create.

Hope to Ciara: "Remember how people reacted when you first got together with Ben?" Point VERY WELL taken. #DAYS

If Bo gets to see his son, would that mean he would be taking a Little Bo Peep? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Roman: "We're going to scatter Kate's ashes in a special place." Eric: "There is quite a lot of stuff in that urn. Make sure you flush twice." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ciara: "Baby Bo is going to be a big brother." Hope: "Another baby"? Ciara: "Well, it's not a Barbie doll." #DAYS

Plowed Like The Winter Snow

Gwen, Gwen, collector of men
How does your sex life go?
"With guys like Xander
And Alex too
I get plowed like the winter snow.

So Ben and Alex will be played by the same actor? What is this, The Parent Trap? #DAYS

When Ben and Ciara flew back to the US, they had to pay an extra baggage fee for Ciara's boobs. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Bo: "I have a lot of questions about who I am." Meagan: "Ask ChatGPT." #DAYS

The Ted Bundy Level

They didn't get any results with Harris' electro-shok treatments until they turned the dial up to the "Ted Bundy" level. #DAYS

Bo says he's going to tap into Victor's dark side. Meagan's goal is to have him tap into her instead. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "OMG! Someone broke in and trashed my office." Stephanie: "I was hoping you were just a slob." #DAYS

Sharing

Paulina: "Sloan is out of our lives forever." I wouldn't bet on it. She's just preoccupied with Eric these days." #DAYS

Maggie: "Kristen will stop at nothing to get what she wants." For a while I'm guessing the barbed wire topped walls of Statesville will at least slow her down. #DAYS

Interesting coincidence: In the second grade both Alex' and Xander's teachers commented on their grade cards, "does not like sharing his toys." Apparently neither one of them got any better at sharing. #DAYS

More Artificial Than Intelligent

To save money #DOOL is now using ChatGPT to write its scripts, proving artificial intelligence is far more artificial than intelligent. #DAYS

This storyline is so stupid I'm now convinced the #DOOL writers are trying to gaslight us all. #DAYS

Kate mentions Zack to Bo. Rolf is working on bringing him back to life but that project is stalled as Rolf struggles to get the tire track off Zak's forehead. #DAYS

Li says he doesn't want to be too pushy. I guess bribing her to stay in a forced marriage she hates and continually threatening she'll lose her DiMera shares if she takes a hike doesn't count as pushy. #DAYS

EJ tells Nicole Li's contract with Gabi has a fidelity clause. Nicole rushes to a dictionary to look up the word 'fidelity.' #DAYS

Dr. Talia wants to bake donuts for a living. She's as overqualified for her job as Rafe is underqualified for his. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Sweet bits has the best donuts in town." Talie: "Spoken like a true Salem cop." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina (on phone): OMG, Belle, how did you get Sloan's case against us thrown out of court?" Belle: "The judge decided you and Chanel had an incompetent attorney." #DAYS

She Sinned Quite Zestfully

There once was a naughty gal Stephanie,
Who Alex provided some ecstasy,
Through her mischievous ways,
Chad also got laid,
And with both she sinned quite zestfully.


Top three ways to identify clever screen writers:
1. They don't have people come back from the dead.
2. They don't have people come back from the dead.
3. They don't have people come back from the dead.

She Sinned Quite Zestfully

There once was a naughty gal Stephanie,
Who Alex provided some ecstasy,
Through her mischievous ways,
Chad also got laid,
And with both she sinned quite zestfully.

Top three ways to identify clever screen writers:
1. They don't have people come back from the dead.
2. They don't have people come back from the dead.
3. They don't have people come back from the dead.

A Hot Night of Sin

For the record the secret DiMera lab location is a budget Air B&B where the guest only gets a capsule for room and board. #DAYS

Marlena and Kayla's gowns have been modified for modesty. If those gowns were real hospital gowns their butts would be flapping in the breeze. #DAYS

Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Meagan Hathaway.
Meagan Hathaway who?
Meagan Hathaway of being a pain in the ath.

There once was a gal named Gwen
Who liked sampling a whole lot of men
Xander was he beau
She became Alex' Ho
And they shared a hot night of sin.

Alex Stuck It To Me

You're telling me you spent the night shagging Alex? I don't believe you. You're just trying to stick it to me, aren't you?" Gwen: "No, but Alex sure stuck it to me." #DAYS

Leo could get all his Lady Whistleblower dirt straight from the office he shares with Gwen. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "GASP! What did we do last night?" Alex: "Do you mean you've never had a one-night-stand before?" Gwen: "Tell me again how the 5th amendment works." #DAYS

With the likes of Gwen, Nicole, Stephanie, and Sloan in town, the "Best Little Whorehouse In Texas" moves its franchise headquarters to Salem.

Next on #DOOL — Li: "I will do anything to get back into your good graces." Gabi: "Including leaving town and never speaking to me again?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ and Stephan continue their sniveling rivalry. #DAYS

Any Guy, Anywhere, Anytime

That is one short skirt Gwen is wearing. Every time she uncrosses her legs I think I can see… Xanadu. #DAYS

Looks like Alex and Gwen are setting up for their own little "misery loves company" pity party. #DAYS

Until EJ almost fell I had lost track of who had slipped who a Mickey. #DAYS

Maggie suggests Xander could replace Alex. I think she'd just be trading one problem for another. #DAYS

"Everything, Everywhere, All at Once" wins the Oscar for best picture. Gwen wins the Emmy for "Any Guy, Anywhere, Anytime." #DAYS

I'm with EJ. My rule is never drink anything thick, warm and green. #DAYS

Gwen's morning after turns into the morning afterglow. #DAYS

Eric: "Sloan is an excellent attorney." I think he's assessing her qualifications on something other than her score on the bar exam. #DAYS

Gwen: "Don't put this in your column or I will make it so that 'lady' isn't just a nom de plume." Did she just threaten to… yes, I think she did. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "Eric has become a moody jerk." Brady: "From what I hear, Sloan is providing him with a little mood therapy." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "Sloan is a wretched bottom feeder." Brady: "I believe Eric has been feeding on her bottom, so to speak." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "Sloan is Eric's lawyer? I hope he keeps it professional this time." Brady: "The only way that relationship could be professional is if Eric paid her for the sex." #DAYS

Not Getting Laid

Shinn is delighted to learn Wendy by dating Johnny has already arranged the arranged relationship he would have arranged in the first place. #DAYS

Leo to Xander: "Sarah dumps your ass and then Gwen puts her cute little ass on the line for you." Even on Peacock they can only use the word "ass" three times in any show. Good thing Leo didn't know Alex has his ass in a sling with Maggie. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "You want to talk about us?" Xander: "Yes." Gwen: "I would have thought that was the last thing you would want to talk about." Xander: "True, but I'm not getting laid these days." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Trip: "There is nothing romantic going on between Wendy and me." Johnny: "So you're just FWB?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Maggie: "You will NOT go over my head to Victor." Alex: "You're not the boss of me." Maggie: "As a matter of fact, I am." #DAYS

The Hindenburg and the Graf Zeppelin

I can't tell if those are Chanel's boobs or a collision between the Hindenburg and the Graf Zeppelin. If they don't burst into flames, it's probably her boobs. If they do burst into flames it will nuke Salem. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "The Spectator has very high journalistic standards." Chad: "Because you're high when you write the rag?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "Was Alex having threesomes behind your back?" Stephanie: "No, but he was doing a few other things back there." #DAYS

The Wacky World of DOOL

Geez, Li, don't you know you can't buy love? Oh, wait – this is Gabi… good plan, Li. #DAYS

Belle: "Your actions were extreme and indefensible." In that case, as Brady's attorney she might have a bit of trouble defending them in court. #DAYS

The old coffee switcheroo. If Stephan is really smart, he took the spiked coffee himself knowing EJ would do that. #DAYS

LI, Gabi, and Gabi's low-cut red dress. Now there are four boobs in the room. #DAYS

Chloe to Brady: "You kidnapped someone and forced him to go through deprogramming with small kitchen appliances." Where else could a statement like that come from except the wacky world of #DOOL? #DAYS

Stefan and Li aren't exactly the greatest ladies men. Good thing they're chasing Gabi instead of a lady. #DAYS

Stefan: "Is sex with you and Li off the table?" Gabi: "Of course it's not on the table. Who do you think I am, Marlena?" #DAYS

Rachel needs a time out… over Brady's knee. #DAYS

It's a little known fact that the name Rachel derives from a Latin word meaning "conniving tempermental brat." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "There is no way I can be your attorney." Eric: "Why not." Belle: "I'm your half sister. I can't sleep with you." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Trask: "Was Eric the best sex of your life?" Sloan: "Counting my vibrator?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Trask: "Was Eric the best sex of your life?" Sloan: "Yes. Other than that summer I spent touring with Nickelback." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "This says you've been enjoying the best sex of your life with a defrocked priest." Sloan: "Yes." Eric: "So how many defrocked priests have you been with?" #DAYS

Massagin’ Mystic.

Sarah tells Rex she's pregnant. Rex assumes he's the daddy. Silly boy. #DAYS

A clerk misplaced the paperwork on Sarah and Xander's divorce. How conveeeeeeenient. #DAYS

Maggie tells Alex she's going to be CEO. Alex: "Get serious." Way to suck up to your new boss, who can also groom you for the CEO job you want, Alex. #DAYS

Rex to Sarah: "I understand. You're not shopping for a relationship right now." She may not be shopping for one but she's sure done a lot of browsing lately. #DAYS

Xander to Sarah: "Maybe we should give our marriage another shot." Married or not you've given her a shot that will keep on giving. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Maggie: "Your actions with women could be seen as mysogynistic." Alex: "I love massaging women. That's why they call me the massagin' mystic." #DAYS

Down Under

Xander: "What have I done to deserve your righteous indignation." I know it's just semantics, but it doesn't look very righteous to me. #DAYS

Maggie to Rex: "What are your intentions with my daughter?" I believe he expressed his intentions very clearly when he slept with her. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sonny: "Come and see me in New Zealand." Chad: "That would be great. I've never been down under." Stephanie: "If you remember, you've definitely been down under. You've just never been to New Zealand." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Under the circumstances, I think we should keep things professional between us." Xander: "So, I have to pay you for sex?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah regrets cutting class in medical school the day they taught the lesson on birth control. #DAYS

Short-Staffed

Nicole (tenderly, to Eric): "I've been thinking about you." While EJ is banging your lights out? #DAYS

Brady electrocutes Stefan who is wearing kitchen tongs as a headpiece. They stole that from a scene where Road Runner did it to Wylie Coyote. #DAYS

Eric: "Are you available?" Even though she's with EJ, all of Nicole's relationships, along with her legs, are open. #DAYS

Johnny and Chanel's relationship has moved to the next level: the "I still care about you" level. This is one step before the "My place or yours" level. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "Why are you so busy?" Chanel: "We're short-staffed." Johnny: "So what? You don't have to be tall to work at Sweet Bits." #DAYS