Eli Just Wants to Score

Another BFD episode. "What does that mean," you may ask, "Big F'in Deal?" No, "Back From Dead." #DAYS

New Year's Eve Donovan is hell-bent on making a scene. #DAYS

If this was a real party, someone would drag Eve out. #DAYS

Eli: "I can't remember where I have seen that guy before." Were you the cop that scraped him off the elevator floor? #DAYS

Eli says Sheila scored backstage passes at the concert. Eli just wants to score. — period. #DAYS

Dr. Shah: "Well, this date just went down the tubes." #DAYS

Eli's Glistening Body

The show opens with Eli's glistening body coming out of the shower.
Nothing gratuitous about that, was there? #DAYS

Haley's next suicide attempt will happen when she figures out it's the
only way she can get away from JJ. #DAYS

Q: Why do the formal shirts in this episode have regular buttons instead
of studs? A: Because the studs are wearing them. #DAYS

A "Phoenix" Branding Iron

Sarah: "I have a hard time explaining my family tree." Your family tree is more like a tangled mess of noxious jungle weeds. #DAYS

On this day in 1927, Agnes Nixon, "Queen of Modern Soap Opera," the creator of the long-running television soap operas One Life to Live and All My Children and the woman credited with introducing social issues into soaps, was born in Chicago. #DAYS

Stefan needs a "Phoenix" branding iron. #DAYS

How Conveeeeeeenient

Protip for everyone in Salem: ALWAYS assume the paternity test results have been switched. #DAYS

Gabi, you got some 'splainin to do. #DAYS

BULLETIN: The Claire-Ciara Christmas truce is over. #DAYS

Ciara and Claire have the same initials. How conveeeeeenient for Tripp. #DAYS

Amnesia Epidemic

Well, that does it. Abby's Christmas present from Stefan will be a stocking full of coal. #DAYS

Ciara gets a guardian bell to ward off evil things when she's on her motorcycle. I prefer skill and awareness, myself. But that's just me. #DAYS

Julie can't remember what happened. Salem's amnesia epidemic continues. #DAYS

She'd Have Been A Goner

It's a good thing JJ was there to save Haley's life. She'd have been a goner if they depended on a Salem Hospital doctor. #DAYS

Gabi says Abby is the violent one for killing Andre. That's because when Gabi killed Nick she was very gentle about it. #DAYS

Andre was wearing his pocket watch when he died. It "took a licking and kept on ticking." Andre didn't. #DAYS

Lombard Street

Gabi contemplates becoming Salem's next serial killer by smothering Julie, which validates everything Julie says about her. #DAYS

For the record Lombard Street in San Francisco has been closed to traffic. I don't know about wheelchairs. #DAYS

JJ: "Are you OK." Haley: "I'm fine," as she runs off bawling. #DAYS

Half Dressed

Claire and Tripp walk around the loft half-dressed. Think of it as the Whitman Sampler of a budding relationship. #DAYS

That sequence had to be a dream… we actually saw Gabi and Arianna together. #DAYS

Sonny's Christmas present to Leo should be another rug. #DAYS

Arianna: "I don't need any presents," said no kid, ever. #DAYS

Gravity

DOWN GOES JULIE! Roll, roll, roll the bat, gently down the stairs… #DAYS

Twenty years from now: Rafe: "You were late for dinner." Hope: "Well, you SLEPT WITH SAMI!" You might as well face it, buddy, you'll hear it for the rest of your life. #DAYS

Hope: "Julie fell down the stairs? How did that happen." Gravity. #DAYS

Close To The Vest

How many of you stand in a public place reading a letter out loud like Chloe is reading the letter from Nicole? ~~~Crickets~~~ That's what I thought. #DAYS

Stefan pressures Gabibail to join him upstairs in the bedroom. OK, Abs, it's time to put up or shut up. Or maybe I should say put out or shut up. #DAYS

Julie shows Gabi the envelope she found. I guess playing things "close to the vest" isn't Julie's style. #DAYS

Eli to Rafe: "You do everything by the book." The "book" must contain instructions on how tho be the accessory to any crime a family member commits. #DAYS

Stuuuuupid, Stuuuuupid, Stuuuuupid

Eric talks about how wonderful and cute Holly is. Just wait. In a couple short years she'll be an angst-filled rebellious teen. #DAYS

If Sonny goes through with this wedding the inside of his brain must look like the outside of Leo's crazy tux. #DAYS

Chloe: "I promised Nicole I'd take care of Holly like my own." You mean Parker? The one you haven't seen in weeks?" #DAYS

If Susan was at this wedding she'd call it "Stuuuuupid, stuuuuupid, stuuuuupid." Sinch she's not here, let me do that for her. #DAYS

Sarah: "My boss says if I don't come back to work soon, he'll replace me." WHAT AN IRRESPONSIBLE ACT THAT IS! #DAYS

Dunce Cap

The gratuitous towel scene… A #DOOL Christmas tradition. Thanksgiving tradition. And New Year's tradition. And any day that ends in a 'y' tradition. #DAYS

If the Sonny marrying Leo thing doesn't get the Emmy for Dumb Storyline of the Year I'll eat my hat. It's a dunce cap. I earned it for watching the Leo-Sonny-Will love-hate-triangle. #DAYS

So Nicole hasn't returned from the dead yet but she is corresponding. #DAYS

Priceless

Things you will only hear on a soap opera: "Why are you dating a serial killer?" #DAYS

Hope's room at the Blue Swallow Motel: $39.95 per night; Cheap wine in the mini bar: "$1.95; the look on Rafe's face when he saw Ted half-naked: priceless. #DAYS

Abby, playing Gabby gets crabby with Gabi. Not too shabby. #DAYS

Julie (on phone with Abby): "Your secret is safe with me." Chloe: "What secret." In Salem, "secret" and "safe" don't belong in the same sentence. #DAYS

Julie remembers fondly the events that brought her and Doug together. I wonder if that includes her mom Addie being run over by a truck. #DAYS

Lucas to Kate: "I have to be with my daughter – the way you were always there for me." Between the times she disowned him? #DAYS

Sadie Hawkins Day

Eric plans to tell Holly that Nicole will always be watching over her.
Given where Nicole must be, it would be more appropriate to say she will
be watching UNDER Holly. #DAYS

Not only has Allie been SORASed but she's become an irresponsible sot.
Like father, like daughter. #DAYS

Eric accuses Brady of killing Nicole. But Eric was responsible for
killing Daniel, which gave Brady Daniel's heart, which allowed Brady to
live and be responsible for killing Nicole, which makes Eric responsible
for killing Nicole. How's that for logic? #DAYS

Sarah must not be too shook up about her breakup with Rex. She's chasing
after Eric like every day is Sadie Hawkins day. #DAYS

Imaginary Lover

If Stefan is going to play something on the piano, perhaps "Imaginary Lover" would be appropriate. #DAYS

Protip for Hope: Always face the door when having a deceitful phone conversation. #DAYS

Kate: "I never meant for things to get out of hand." Translation: "I never meant to get caught." #DAYS

Idyllic Couple

Rafe wants to know if Hope's meeting with Ted was a secret. Of course not. There are no secrets with this *choke* idyllic couple. #DAYS

I hate to interrupt Ted's phone call, but a satellite phone doesn't work indoors without special equipment. #DAYS

Will says Kate will confess, "because it's the right thing to do." Now, there's a concept Kate isn't familiar with. #DAYS