A Sappy Family Moment

Marlena says she doesn't like being yelled at.  Maybe that's why Victor is yelling. #DAYS

 

Victor lists ways you could prove an affair in the old days. How does he know? God knows the proof was used against him enough times. #DAYS

 

JJ gives up drugs and it turns into a sappy family moment.  I haven't seen so much love in a room since Narcissus looked in a mirror. #DAYS

 

Nicole swears on a Bible.  I expected either Nicole or the Bible to burst into flame. #DAYS

Caveman-Style

Abby calls heads for Cameron, tails for Chad. If it lands on its side, she becomes Austin's crazy stalker again. #DAYS

 

Sami's upset that EJ threatened Lucas.  I guess she expects that should be her exclusive responsibility. #DAYS

 

EJ hauls Samantha upstairs caveman-style.  But it was poor form. A true caveman would have dragged her by the hair. #DAYS

 

Nick says Will doesn't have to protect Gabi from him.  That might be true if Nick leaves town. #DAYS

 

Tommy traded Ciara his leather jacket for a bag of candy? Tommy's a moron. #DAYS

Kate's Proposition

Speculation that Theresa OD'd on a sex drug morphs into speculation that she OD'd on sex with Dr. Dan. #DAYS

 

Kate has a proposition for Nick.  That's not the first proposition she's ever made. #DAYS

 

Jennifer's shook that Daniel was at Theresa's place. It's an old excuse Jen, but in this case it's really not what it looks like. #DAYS

 

Jordan says she has nothing to hide. Translation: I wonder what she's hiding. #DAYS

 

Kate's beer had more foam than an oil tanker full of hair mousse. #DAYS

Another Grueling Two Minutes At Work

Lucas thinks a guy could talk some sense into JJ. I hope Lucas is able to find that guy. #DAYS

 

Cameron suggests Abby ask Chad why he's being distant. Talk to Chad about his problem instead of Cameron? Bold new concept. #DAYS

 

Vegas odds on Stefano's transformation to a good guy lasting are the same as the odds the sun will rise in the west tomorrow morning. #DAYS

 

Jennifer gets to the hospital and Maxine immediately drags her off for a drink. Another grueling two minutes at work for Jennifer. #DAYS

 

Just as JJ and Theresa get busy, she passes out... the tease. #DAYS

Shades Of "Minority Report"

Jennifer wants to help JJ before it's too late. Jen, it was too late for him when the doc slapped his butt and said, "It's a boy." #DAYS

 

Brady: "I love you. Nothing will ever change that." Translation: Change is a-comin' #DAYS

 

Jennifer wants to send JJ to prison before he commits a crime. Shades of "Minority Report." #DAYS

 

Theresa finally gets JJ to show some interest by attacking his male ego. Works every time. #DAYS

Miss Goody One Shoe

Jennifer threatens to kill Theresa. I'm going to have to lower Miss Goody Two Shoes' status to Miss Goody One Shoe. #DAYS

 

Jordan claims her references are in order.  Starting with bad and going to worst? #DAYS

 

Kate needn't worry. Rafe would never hook up with someone he has a professional relationship with. You know, like in a safe house... #DAYS

 

Daniel says he is out of Jennifer's life for good. Translation: he's out of her life until they get back together. #DAYS

A Lost Cat At A Dairy Farm

Jennifer and JJ argue.  Is there any possibility there is a deadly sinkhole about to collapse beneath their house?" #DAYS

 

Cameron says he can't discuss what Abby doesn't know because of confidentiality. Shrewd, Cameron. Now she can pester Chad for it. #DAYS

 

Theresa plays Karin like a fiddle and Karin laps it up like a lost cat at a dairy farm. #DAYS

 

JJ says Jennifer can't tell him what to do any more.  Perhaps he'd like Judge Goldberg to tell him instead? #DAYS

You Can't Beat A Dead Whore

JJ is one lucky dude. Judge Goldberg showed leniency. Judge Prevuze would have thrown JJ in the slammer. #DAYS

 

Kristin and Marlena... Salem's answer to matter vs. anti-matter. #DAYS

 

EJ tells Chad he saw Stefano in the chapel; and miracle of miracles, it didn't burst into flame when Stefano walked in. #DAYS

 

Marlena to Kristin: "I realize you can't beat a dead whore." BWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS

Honor Code

Word from Salem Hospital is they're expecting a full recovery by Chad.  Probably means he's doomed. #DAYS

 

How come everyone in Salem has to be told the irresponsible actions of someone else aren't their fault? #DAYS

 

Daniel says he feels useless. Ask Chad how useless he thinks Daniel is. #DAYS

 

Anne says there is an honor code between her and Theresa. If there is it's a code no one has cracked. #DAYS

Cheesier And More Fake Than A Grocery Aisle Full Of Velveeta

In the chapel God listens to Stefano... the only guy in Salem more powerful than He is. #DAYS

 

Jennifer says what happened to Chad is no more Abby's fault than what happened to Jack.  Her fetal-position sniveling killed Jack. #DAYS

 

Daniel declares Chad dead and then the monitor starts beeping. Cheesier and more fake than a grocery aisle full of Velveeta. #DAYS

 

Hey, Stefano, you can talk to God in Italian.  I think he speaks it and you wouldn't be blabbing all this stuff to others. #DAYS

 

Stefano makes a deal with God.  Maybe Stefano and God should be running Congress. #DAYS

His Blackmailing Best Friend

Chad says EJ became his best friend.  His blackmailing best friend, that is. #DAYS

 

The shooting isn't such a big disaster, folks. You can still eat the part of the cake that doesn't have blood splattered all over it. #DAYS

 

Are there any people in Salem who can hit the person they're shooting at? #DAYS

 

No, Daniel. You download the anti-virus software BEFORE you get the virus. #DAYS

Humdrum And Boring

EJ thinks Sami will be humdrum & boring when they marry. Was she humdrum & boring the last time they were married?" #DAYS

 

I liked Stefano's maniacal glare at the camera after the toast. #DAYS

 

Kate and Rafe suggest having a beer with Jordan. Yeah, let's get Jordan schnockered and see if she loosens up. #DAYS

 

Stefano hands Will and Sonny an olive branch. He's lucky they didn't beat him with it. #DAYS

 

I'm sure Rafe will "let bygones be bygones..." except, I bet, for the bygones that aren't completely bygone yet. #DAYS

Another Homicidal Maniac

Marge goes to the darkside.  Just what #DOOL needs... yet another wild-eyed, drooling, wackadoodle homicidal maniac. #DAYS

 

Cameron seems to have a medical condition himself. BusyBodyItis. #DAYS

 

Cameron announces his joint is already making a profit.  Outrageous prices and watered-down drinks always help. #DAYS

 

Marge: before you kill yourself and Sami, you might want to recall Joe was cheating on you. #DAYS

 

Sami says the DiMeras make the Manson Family look like the Waltons.  And Father Matt makes Pa Walton look like... Father Matt. #DAYS

 

Sami says Marlena's support means the world to her.  It probably should since she's gotten so little of it over the years. #DAYS

That's Why You Get Paid The Small Bucks

For God's sake, Eric, it's not such a big deal to marry the poor schmucks. You're a priest. That's why you get paid the small bucks. #DAYS

 

Jennifer whines: "I'm never going to get JJ back." Count your blessings, Jen. #DAYS

 

It's strange to see Rafe struggling to walk as much as he sometimes struggles to think. #DAYS

The Almighty Dollar

Nicole announces she's leaving her job working for the Almighty to go to another job working for the Almighty Dollar. #DAYS

 

Well, JJ certainly taught all those windows a lesson, didn't he? #DAYS

 

If JJ has to pay for everything he destroyed Jack's book might make the bestseller list after all. #DAYS

 

Eric says he likes the kind of honesty Kristin & Brady have shown.  In Kristin's case, that would be the dishonest kind of honesty. #DAYS

A Little Unconsummated Marriage, Rape Kidney Transplant Dust Up

Act 1, Scene 1, Line 1: EJ asks Sami about the kids.  They're the world's only orphans with living parents. #DAYS

 

Maggie asks Daniel how Jennifer is.  Wacky as usual, if you ask me. #DAYS

 

JJ asks about Jack and Kayla. It was no big deal. just a little unconsummated marriage, rape, kidney transplant dust up. #DAYS

 

Stefano tells Chad family can be compelling.  Right. Stefano & Chad's family seems compelled to be totally dysfunctional. #DAYS

A Fox In The Hen House

Kayla: "Hey, Jen... what are you doing at the hospital?"  Yes... everyone's shocked to see her at work. #DAYS

 

Theresa in hospital security? That's kind of like putting a fox in the hen house. #DAYS

 

Theresa says she's glad to have someone believe in her. Anne doesn't believe in you, kid. She's using you. #DAYS

 

Sami... what part of "EJ made a deal to get you out of a long prison sentence" confuses you?" #DAYS

 

Caroline defends EJ and extols the virtues of keeping vows. Does that include wedding vows, Caroline? #DAYS

A Little Talk

Kristin thinks she and Marlena should have a little talk. Between those two, there's no such thing as a little talk. #DAYS

 

Rafe should be careful mouthing off to Marge.  In his condition, I think she can take him. #DAYS

 

Adrienne asks, "So there is no guarantee we both won't screw up." Given your past, there's a guarantee you both WILL screw up. #DAYS

 

Father Matt: "What's in the past is behind us." Isn't that why we call it the past? #DAYS