The Order of the Crypt

Next on #DOOL — Chad, Kristen, EJ, Theo, and JJ blackball Peter from getting into the exclusive Order of the Crypt. #DAYS

Jennifer: "I think we should go to mediation." If they're going to go anywhere it should be back to Boston, leave the kids in Salem and, above all, butt out. #DAYS

The Horton bulb hanging ceremony proceeds… the bulbs of the living, the dead, and those yet to return from the dead. #DAYS

A Refund

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: "You'll be back on your feet in no time." Kristen: "Just give me a head start before the Statesville boys come after me." #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: After Rachel declares that Christmas sucks, three ghosts visit her during the night… you probably know where I'm headed with this. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Home from Bayview on a one-day pass, Rachel escapes, finds an empty boxcar and goes on the lam. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "I'm pregnant." Johnny: "So can we return Trey for a refund?" #DAYS

Bottom's Up

Chanel sees Sarah for her "results." In Salem, the "results" are never good. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "So this might mean my cancer is back. What can I do?" Sarah: "Just don't jump to conclusions. And make sure your will is up to date." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "Since when do you want to work at DiMera?" Johnny: "Since they showed me what my salary would be." #DAYS

If Tate doesn't go to Paris with Holly he'd better hope she doesn't meet Monsieur Droit while she's there. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Peter: "Is there anyone here you haven't lied to or betrayed? EJ: "Uncle Enrique DiMera." Peter: "I don't think that counts since he died in 1939." #DAYS

I had a pizza the other night that was smaller than Paulina's ring. #DAYS

Tate and Holly have some time before she leaves for Paris. They head off to get naked and do "something festive." In some circles this is known as "one for the road." #DAYS

Brady: "It's time for me to get my own place." I hate to tell you, Brady, but most men your age have had their own place for 30 years. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly (in bed with Tate): "When I said we should do something festive, I meant we should bake some Christmas cookies." Tate: "This is "Days of our lives, not some Hallmark movie." #DAYS

One For The Road

Chanel sees Sarah for her "results." In Salem, the "results" are never good. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "So this might mean my cancer is back. What can I do?" Sarah: "Just don't jump to conclusions. And make sure your will is up to date." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "Since when do you want to work at DiMera?" Johnny: "Since they showed me what my salary would be." #DAYS

If Tate doesn't go to Paris with Holly he'd better hope she doesn't meet Monsieur Droit while she's there. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Peter: "Is there anyone here you haven't lied to or betrayed? EJ: "Uncle Enrique DiMera." Peter: "I don't think that counts since he died in 1939." #DAYS

I had a pizza the other night that was smaller than Paulina's ring. #DAYS

Tate and Holly have some time before she leaves for Paris. They head off to get naked and do "something festive." In some circles this is known as "one for the road." #DAYS

Brady: "It's time for me to get my own place." I hate to tell you, Brady, but most men your age have had their own place for 30 years. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly (in bed with Tate): "When I said we should do something festive, I meant we should bake some Christmas cookies." Tate: "This is "Days of our lives, not some Hallmark movie." #DAYS

Crypt Confined Cranky Kristen's Kryptonite

Disguised as his mild-mannered persona, Superman busts into the tomb to save the trapped prisoners. Confined In the crypt, Kristen's 2 Karat Kryptonite Cameo curtails Clark Kent's capacity as he creeps toward the crank of the curbstone door.

Cryptic About Crypto In The Crypt

Trapped in the DiMera Tomb, EJ and Kristen talk about finances. Kristin says she owns some Bitcoin. EJ asks how much. Kristen won't tell him. In other words, Kristen is cryptic about crypto in the crypt. #DAYS

The red high heel shoes Xander gave Sarah look like the shoes gals wear at strip clubs… so I've heard. #DAYS

Theo: What are Kristen and EJ fighting about?" Chad: "EJ gave her some bad news." Theo: " So apparently Kristen believes in "kill the messenger." #DAYS

Julie: "Your generation doesn't follow the news, do they?" Liam: "We most certainly do. I'm on Tik-Tok all day." #DAYS

Paulina threatens Abe… she tells him to go get some of the pub's chowdah. #DAYS

Theo says Celeste used to tell him if you want something badly, you have to will it into existence. I'm still willing my new Ferrari into existence but no luck yet. #DAYS

Lovely Rita Meter Maid

Rita: "A key won't get you into the crypt. It's sealed." Rafe: "Then unseal it." That Rafe is just full of ideas. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ari; "What's going on." Javi: "Nothing. Everything's fine, except for… everything." #DAYS

Dr. Green blocks the door to the lab. Rafe busts in anyway. Maybe that's where he'll find the warrant he needs. #DAYS

Gabi plays the "as long as you are living under my roof…" card – a key weapon in every parent's bag of tricks. #DAYS

Prior to working for EJ, Lovely Rita was a meter maid. You've probably got to be pretty old to get that one. #DAYS

Chasing Tail

Brady "accidentally" meeting Sarah half naked was the #DOOL gratuitous male nudity scene for December. Females of the hetero persuasion may now remain at ease until January's gratuitous male nudity scene. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "You're still wearing your wedding band." Xander: "I'll remove it as soon as I start chasing tail again." #DAYS

Alex: "This tree is a little too sappy." Just like the show? #DAYS

Patch: "I thought coordinating the FBI and Salem Police Department would get us something." It will. It will get the FBI downgraded to the level of the Keystone Cops. #DAY

Jada calls 911: "We have a hazardous materials situation here." A pub chowdah delivery? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Why didn't you three men overtake that guard?" Theo: "She looked pretty mean." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Susan: "Isn't it a little early to tipple?" Gwen: "Yes, but it's the perfect time to get stinking drunk." #DAYS

When Susan takes her glasses off she has an uncanny resemblance to Kristen. #DAYS

Désastre Romantique

Sarah to Holly: "I can't believe your first semester of college is almost done." And judging by the way that went, by the end of her second semester she may be able to get the whole campus burned down. #DAYS

"The Glove" that stalked Salem years ago has moved up in the world. Now he can afford the other glove and a jacket. #DAYS

Maggie to Holly: "I'm sure you will miss Tate while you're in France." So, Holly, do you know what the French call a long distance relationship… désastre romantique. #DAYS

Come to think of it, if Rachel and Sophia want Buddy's Burgers instead of institutional food, they may be the only sane people in the place. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex shows up unexpectedly. He and Stephanie jump into bed, pick a random page in "One Stormy Night", and follow instructions. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Stephanie: "I'll be using Ozempic and lying about my age."

So Many Bedpans

When Jada hugged her, Gabi's ass completely filled my new 75"TV #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada (on phone): I'm outside the pub. I need forensics here right now." JJ: "OMG… did someone actually eat the chowdah?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "So who all are missing?" Jada: "Maybe it would be quicker to give you a list of people in Salem who aren't missing."


Have you noticed that Susan and Kristen have never been seen together? I think Susan may be Clark Kent. #DAYS

EJ to Susan: "I am very busy at the hospital." So many bedpans, so little time. #DAYS

A Little Whine-Ass Grownup

Kristen and Tony are relieved that Chad woke up. They didn't want to be trapped in a crypt with a dead body. That is, other than the half dozen or so that are already in there. #DAYS

Gabi says Theo is understanding and supportive. I knew he wasn't qualified to be the CEO of DiMera. #DAYS

Jennifer to Cat: "You know they're not real, don't you?" What's she talking about? I don't think either of them have had a boob job. #DAYS

EJ tells Thomas he looks like a little grownup. A little whine-ass grownup, if you ask me. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristen: "are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Tony: "Yes. Our kidnappers have left us everything we need in here except bathroom faciities." #DAYS

Stoking The Fires Of Hell

Scenes we'd like to see: Sophia and Rachel escape from Bayview unfortunately unaware of the quicksand bog right outside. #DAYS

Holly: "How is Rachel doing?" Tate: "She's in Bayview stoking the fires of hell."

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Why don't we take this to the bedroom?" Stephanie: "I have to go. My ride will be here any minute." Alex: "That's enough time for me." #DAYS

Tate gets a C- in his film class. It looks like they've got a budding Martin Scores-not-so-easy in Salem.

Cat: "If all this about us being together is true, it's an amazing mystery." EJ: "Let's try to get to the bottom of it together." I have a feeling that's not the only bottom he'd like to get to. #DAYS

Chucky With Pigtails

Sophia looks like demon doll Chucky with pigtails. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "Did I wake you?" Marlena: "Yes, but only because I was sleeping." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sophia: "Not everything is about you." Holly: "You're right. If it's irrelevant, it's not about me." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rachel: "Did you bring me anything." Tate: "You mean like a toy?" Rachel: "No. I mean like a cake with a file baked into it." #DAYS

A Lobotomy

Belle has something to tell Paulina "in the strictest of confidence." In Salem, the "strictest of confidence" means, "don't put it on more than three or four billboards around town." #DAYS

Brady to Rachel: "This is the adolescent wing of Bayview. There are incorrigible kids just like you all over this place."

Next on #DOOL — Rachel: "Couldn't Grandma be my doctor?" Brady: "Even the best doctors need help. In your case we're going to have to bring in the entire American Psychiatric Association." #DAYS

Gwen to Leo and Javi: "You two are meant for each other. And I hope your conversion therapy fails so you can be together forever." #DAYS

Kayla says they've determined Marlena has a complicated form of Lyme disease… It's the dreaded Lemon-Lyme disease. #DAYS

Rachel whines, "What if I don't get better?" Brady: "Have you heard of something called a lobotomy?" #DAYS

Stinking Drunk

Kristen: "Rachel probably thinks I abandoned her." I, for one, wouldn't blame anyone for abandoning the little brat. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "What are you thankful for?" Phillip: "Prosthetics." #DAYS

Sarah: "What does a girl have to do to get some turkey?" Well, you went so far as to marry one once. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Maggie: "Your mom will be happy to spend Christmas with her little girl." Holly: "I haven't been a little girl for a long time… not since Tate busted my cherry." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "No one wants to be left alone on Thanksgiving." Xander: "They do if they're with you." #DAYS

Holly: "You don't have to worry about me." Translation: They have to worry about her. #DAYS

Gwen: "EJ doesn't care about Thanksgiving. He let the whole staff off for the day." Wouldn't that mean he cares enough to let the staff have the day off with their families? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Do you want to share with me why you're hungover?" Xander: "I think it has something to do with the fact I got stinking drunk last night." #DAYS

Sarah: "I can't say anything…" Then proceeds to say everything. #DAYS