I post Days of Our Lives previews here a day before the show airs. I find Daze pretty humorous on occasion, so if anything I say here offends you, well, sometimes I just can't help myself. Days Of Our Lives -- Embrace the Lunacy™
Haley to JJ: "We didn't think this through." Understatement of the year. #DAYS
Rafe doesn't know if he wants to work for someone who would bend the rules. Working for someone who made him an accomplice to attempted murder must not qualify as bending the rules. #DAYS
Rafe to Ciara: "Your mom and I are getting a divorce." Divorce is always hardest on the kids. #DAYS
Nicole: "What's the point of coming back from the dead if you're not going to have it all?" Seems to me coming back from the dead would be enough. #DAYS
Cool it Maggie. You found Kate and Victor having a conversation, not naked on the couch. #DAYS
Eric walks in to find Rex and Sarah together. Oh, the drama! An engaged couple was smooching on the couch! #DAYS
Xander to Sarah: "My ship has come in and I'm giving you permission to board." How can a gal resist a line like that? #DAYS
Kate says Brady has set a new record for screwing things up. I guess if Victor fires him that means he would be qualified to become a Salem cop. #DAYS
Eric rushes Xander and joins the festivities as Salem continues to celebrate the Lucas Horton Memorial Sucker-Punch week. #DAYS
Melinda: "I'm going to do whatever it takes to help my daughter." And killing Jack and Eve will accomplish that… how? #DAYS
It figures that Jack won the mayor's race. The average Salem resident seems to have the IQ of a sand flea. Apologies to sand fleas everywhere. #DAYS
Haley would have been born during China's policy allowing only one child per family. I wonder how they got away with pawning her off as Melinda's sister without great penalty to the family. #DAYS
Hope forgets the first rule of diplomacy: don't call your boss a despicable human being. #DAYS
EXCTEMENT: JJ gives Jack a patented Lucas-style sucker punch. #DAYS
JJ to Jack: "You are a worthless, pathetic excuse for a man." Maybe that's why he became a politician. #DAYS
I'm not feeling very snarky today. Even though it's not Holly, there is something about a dead baby that inhibits creativity. #DAYS
So the serum Will took to get his tumor back caused a tumor to grow in his brain. Does that officially make it a mind expanding drug? #DAYS
Nicole: "Since when have you and Eric become so close." Sarah: "Since we played tonsil hockey in the hospital chapel." #DAYS
Nicole to Xander: "Are you insane?" In a word, yes. #DAYS
Ciara: "I get it that people are reluctant to have Ben, an ex-serial killer near a baby." Is there such a thing as an EX-serial killer? #DAYS
There are more people blaming themselves for Holly's death than there are candidates for the Democratic Presidential nomination. #DAYS
I wish Nicole had just guzzled Maggie's "water" in one gulp. That would have made for a more dramatic scene. #DAYS
Have you noticed the lack of people following the signs to get into the polls and vote? It seems the people of Salem are about as interested in the election as the viewers are. #DAYS
Scenes we'd like to see: When the burned out wreckage is brought up and examined, they discover the baby inside is a Cabbage Patch doll. #DAYS
The Salem blame-game goes nuclear: Nicole blames Eric for Holly's death. Hope blames Rafe. Maggie blames Victor. Chloe and Ben blame themselves. And when they find Holly is alive, the blame will still stick with them. That's the way it works. #DAYS
Maggie leaves for home without Victor. Leaving your husband in a bar alone with his former lover is the true walk of shame. #DAYS
Rex to Sarah: "We're all with the person we should be with. You're with me and Eric is with Nicole..." Rex wouldn't have a clue if it jumped in his lap and kissed him. #DAYS
Kate: "I don not involve myself in my children's personal lives." Does she have children we don't know about? #DAYS
So instead of getting flashbacks Marlena rehashes the whole Sarah-Eric-Rex-Nicole thing. That's actually a little refresh… uh-oh, here come the flashbacks. #DAYS
Holly gets burned alive. Like mother like daughter… Too soon? #DAYS
Sarah says she has to marry Rex because she said yes. Apparently you can't change your mind if you don't have one. #DAYS
Rex wants the issue of Sarah's peccadillo with Xander cleared up before the wedding. What's she going to do… un-bang him? #DAYS
Victor: "Don't take any bubble baths with Nicole around." You can always rely on good ole Vic to brighten the show with his snark. #DAYS
So basically Gabi's plan to destroy Stefan is to screw him into oblivion. #DAYS
Calm down, Nicole, this is Salem. Another day another kidnapping. #DAYS
Stefan says he hopes Gabi didn't come there hoping to get lucky. Her low-cut top says that's exactly what she had in mind. #DAYS
The way people come back from the dead in Salem you'd think Brady wouldn't even have thought anything about Nicole walking in. #DAYS
Tripp: "We need to give Claire a little time to cool off." They have… about three years. #DAYS
Tripp to Claire: "Why do you have that lighter?" Once again, "none of your business" would be a good answer but instead we have to talk it over. #DAYS
Newsman to Abe: "Are you and Miss Watkins having an affair?" Instead of saying no, Abe gives the "stare of guilt," which is closely related to a Salem doctor's "stare of death." #DAYS
Claire, do I have to draw you a picture: Your foot → Tripp → Curb
Scene 1: Tripp and Claire Rush into the bedroom. Next scene: They rush out of the bedroom dressed. That was the quickest quickie ever. #DAYS
Justin phones Haley to say she isn't getting deported. I'm surprised he didn't tell her she had to come down to his office so he could tell her there. Think of the drama we missed. #DAYS
Valerie returns as Abe and Sheila discuss their kiss. Abe's lips have been busy lately after a long drought. #DAYS
Claire: "I am living with my boyfriend and his wife. Do you know what it's like." She does if if compares to living with her daughter and banging her boyfriend. #DAYS
So apparently Nicole's body is scarred from the fire. This will last until she next appears in a nightie and the scars are miraculously gone, just like Jennifer's heart, Brady's heart transplant and Phillip's leg which has completely grown back. #DAYS
Ciara reminisces about sleeping with Ben. Ben looks forward to the next time. That's the difference between men and women. #DAYS
Nicole doesn't want to go see Holly because that would confuse her, but she'll go see her tomorrow. So won't that confuse her tomorrow? #DAYS
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