Prevuze Advisor

Dear Prevuze Advisor: Some perv in our office keeps trying to have sex with his chair. What should we do? 

Take The Money And Run

Eve looked like she was threatening Brady with a Lorraine Bobbet move. #DAYS

I was going for the jugular on that last tweet. Well… not exactly the jugular but you got the message. #DAYS

With Ciara and Claire standing over Tripp while he votes is the epitome of a lose-lose situation. #DAYS

Eve wants Brady to "take the money and run." Protip: It's hard to buy off a gazillionaire. #DAYS

Steve giving up his patch is like the Lone Ranger giving up his mask. #DAYS

Her Brain Cell

Abby has a severe headache — Maybe it was her brain cell replicating
itself. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Gabigail comes on to Stefan. Stefan jumps her
bones. Gabigail turns back into Abby while the couple is "in flagrante
delicto." Let the fireworks begin. #DAYS

GaLauraGail could fly back with Chad instead of Stefan.  Then again, I
hate making those decisions about which private jet to take. #DAYS

Smoldering Tire Tracks

Adreinne: "What was that about?" Sonny: "Control of Titan and another
Brady relationship down the drain." A plumber's convention couldn't
unclog that drain. #DAYS

Lucas: "I just want to have a good time with Chloe." He got that idea
when he saw, "For a good time call Chloe at 555-1234," scrawled on a
men's room wall. #DAYS

Lucas to Kate: "When are you going to start treating me like an adult?"
Kate: "When you become…" Forget it.  That one is too easy. #DAYS

Will to Adrienne: "Paul and I are taking it slow." Slow? You left
smoldering tire tracks when you peeled out to get into bed. #DAYS

The Temperature On Pluto

Gabby, Abby, Flabby or whomever she is isn’t subtly coming on to Stafan. She’s sending him engraved invitations. #DAYS

Even though JJ isn’t on trial the judge finds him not guilty by reason of cluelessness. #DAYS

Eli slept with Lani. JJ attacks Eli. JJ gets contempt. It’s like the old sports adage: “The guy who throws the second punch is the one who gets blamed. #DAYS

Well the poop is really hitting the fan today. I’m going to take a break while I turn off the fan and clean up. #DAYS

And now, after the news conference, back to your regularly scheduled commercials. #DAYS

If JJ stays with Lani now his IQ is lower than the temperature on Pluto. #DAYS

No Sense

Jennifer: “I’m going crazy worrying about Abigail’s test results.” There is no level of crazy Jennifer hasn’t been to, test results notwithstanding. #DAYS

Abby: “I’m Gabby… with two Bs and a Y.” And with no sense. #DAYS

That’s it for today, folks. For more information on GaLauraGail’s next move visit her blog at IamBatshitCrazy.com #DAYS

In The Dark

Hope confides in Shawn. Makes sense: Married to Bouncearound Belle, if anyone is an expert on being cheated on, it’s Shawn. #DAYS

Sonny: “We’re keeping Arianna in the dark until Gabi is free.” The way people care for kids in Salem that probably means they’re keeping her in a locked closet.

Lucas insists on dating Chloe. Mommy gives him a time out then grounds him. #DAYS

Sonny to Paul: “I hope Will doesn’t cheat on you like he cheated on me.” Translation: “I hope he cheats on you.” #DAYS

Poor Steve

Kate's generosity is exceeded only by Steve's resourcefulness.

A Matching Set

Steve: "A long time ago Bo took my other eye…" Now thanks to John Steve has a matching set. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: John digs a dart out of his eye, "OK, maybe you should give up your dream of being a professional dart player." #DAYS

When Abigail looks in the mirror...

 

 

Rubbing Off

OK, so what we have here is Abby channeling Gabi pretending to be Abby in front of Jennifer and Kayla and the whole bunch pretending to have a clue. #DAYS

Apparently Galauragail, or whomever she is at the moment still has to account for her whereabouts to Mommy. #DAYS

Eric takes a break from work to talk to Eve. Apparently Jennifer’s work ethic is rubbing off on him. #DAYS

Ides Of March

JJ tells Valerie his wedding plans with Lani are, "none of your business." "None of your business" is a phrase rarely heard in Salem and less often understood. #DAYS

Dr. Laura/Kayla's fuchsia eyeglasses are so ugly even Elton John wouldn't wear them. #DAYS

No matter what Abby has or hasn't done, if ever there was a case where an insanity defense would be valid, hers would be it. #DAYS

Gabigail: "There is no way I'm going back to Abby's dark, dank attic." Technically it's a belfry; and there are bats in it. #DAYS

Note: Today is the Ides of March, as in Ides rather be watching something else. #DAYS

After The Poop Hits The Fan

André to Abby: "I do love that dress on you." I've always favored that
color of monkey urine myself. #DAYS

JJ: "You're a good guy Eli." Let's see how he feels about that after the
poop hits the fan. #DAYS

Abe: "I'm getting 'grandfather fever.'" Yep. It's his daughter's kid.
About the only thing we know about that relationship is who the mother
is. #DAYS

Johnny Walker Black

Maggie discovers Eric and Jennifer having a little dessert at the pub.
Or was that an appetizer. #DAYS

Maggie catches Brady drinking: "Brady Black! What are you doing?" Johnny
Walker Black. #DAYS

Victor: "A good businessman doesn't let his feelings get in the way of
his goals." Yet he let his feelings for Maggie get in the way of his
plot against Eve. #DAYS

AWK-WARD!

Why do people in Salem almost always open the door or answer the phone in these situations? #DAYS

 

BUS-TED!

Victor told Eve in about Brady's scheme in order to get Maggie back. One word: whipped. (I would have made it two words but Prevuze wants to be family friendly). #DAYS

Brady gets BUS-TED! #DAYS

Brady begs for a chance to make things right with Eve. If she rejects him she's a smart cookie. If she takes him back she has the IQ of a cookie. #DAYS

Eve Of Destruction

Gabi could plead insanity because she would have to be insane to handle
the planted evidence the way she did. #DAYS

Even though Gabi didn't kill André she is now guilty of attempting to
destroy evidence. #DAYS

If Dr. Laura is a Psychiatrist, can't she cure her other wacko
personalities, Gabi and Abby? #DAYS

Eve's last name should be "Of Destruction." #DAYS

Recap

Will: "How is my favorite child?" If you must know, Will, Gabi's not
doing too well. #DAYS

JJ tells Lani work comes first.  That's why he quit. #DAYS

Recap of what Eli said to Lani: "I told Gabi I'd never lie to her again
then lied to her." #DAYS

This Lousy Diamond Ring

It looks like Hope has found a way to finance her trip to see Shawn and Belle. #DAYS

 

Foreplay And A Four-Way

Chad and GabiLauragail have sex. Does this count as a four-way? #DAYS

That scene between Tripp and Ciara could almost qualify as foreplay. #DAYS

Ciara: "If you forgive Rafe he will never hurt you again." Isn't that
what they said about Aiden?" #DAYS

Step-Daddy

 

 

One Bombshell After Another

Salem's like the Everglades,
With swamps and snakes and alligators.
Only Salem's swamp instead cascades
with cheaters, liars and forncators.
#DAYS

The bad news: Patch is eager to dance at Hope's wedding. The good news. He and Kayla will have the dance floor to themselves. #DAYS

Gabi figures out whose baby Lani is having. The Prevuze unabashed dictionary defines this as an Elipiphany. #DAYS

Hope tells Jennifer she and Rafe are already married. Life in Salem is just one bombshell after another. #DAYS

Ciara Decks Claire

 

 

Colossal Mistakes

Remember those old Southwest Air commercials that ended, "Did you ever wish you were somewhere else?" Rafe could do one of those commercials right now. #DAYS

 

OK, so Rafe's a jerk but, face it, Clare is a bitch. #DAYS

 

Gee, Eli… Lani… maybe you could let this be a lesson that the truth is a better way to go? #DAYS

 

Ciara to Claire: "What you need is attention." That's not what Claire needs. What Claire needs is a good spanking. #DAYS

 

JJ to Lani: "I've made colossal mistakes. I cheated on Gabi with you." And let's not forget cheating on Paige with Eve. #DAYS

 

Andre's Murder Suspects

 

But, wait... shouldn't the Salem High School Marching band and Lizzie Borden be on the list? #DAYS

Abigail's Mind

Abby's mind — The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

White Is The New Checkered Past

So we got to repeat the scene where Tripp, who apparently doesn’t wear an undershirt comes in half naked followed by a scene with Eric half naked. Just an observation. #DAYS

Hope is dressed in white.  White is the new checkered past. #DAYS

Doug: "Two more virgins coming up." I didn't think there was one left in Salem. #DAYS

Hope to Rafe: "If I catch you in a lie there is no telling what I might do." Scenes we'd like to see: Exactly that. #DAYS

Flipped Her Wig

Brunette Gabigale calls Chad. Chad turns around and sees blonde Abby
standing there. In other words, in that scene, Abby literally flipped
her wig. #DAYS

Eve: "Marriage is a leap of faith." Hope is going to need a parachute. #DAYS

Maggie: "If I look the other way, I'm Victor's co-conspirator." Think of
yourself as his moll. #DAYS