The Priest And The Porn Star

Brady says he might have caught the error at Titan if he'd been there. Translation: If he'd been there and been sober. #DAYS

 

Vic says work can always wait—In my experience that's not exactly the attitude you expect from the ruthless head of a mega-corporation #DAYS

 

Nick says Gabi's big enough to make her own decisions. Big enough, yes. Smart enough, not so much. #DAYS

 

Maybe Nicole wants to be with Eric because she's acting out a Misty Circle film: The Priest and the Porn Star. #DAYS

JJ And Bev's Excellent Adventure

Jennifer begins the show by running. AWAY from the hospital, no doubt. #DAYS

 

Rory wonders why he wasn't invited to JJ and Bev's excellent adventure. Maybe him not being there is what made it excellent. #DAYS

 

Father Timothy looks more  like those pictures of pathetic condemned men in San Quentin in the 1930s than a priest. #DAYS

 

JJ says everyone at school thinks he's a loser druggie. Just a wild guess but maybe that's because he's a loser druggie. #DAYS

A Seminar In Sleaze

JJ says he has to do something drastic to get away from the bitch. She's irritating but is Jennifer really a bitch? #DAYS

 

Nick's personality has really changed.  Who knew... you can preform a lobotomy with a rock. #DAYS

 

EJ, I wouldn't get too nasty with Abby unless you want her to have a conversation with Sami about the amenities on Smith Island. #DAYS

 

Nicole says Miles could give a seminar in sleaze. I thought that's what we watch every day.  It's called #DAYS.

Caspar Milquetoast

Rafe says T is an upgrade from the last guy Gabi dated. That's like being up from the bottom of the barrel. #DAYS

 

I'm not sure if Nick's back or Caspar Milquetoast is a new character on #DOOL. #DAYS

 

So, where has Nick been — just wandering through the woods?  I wonder if he bumped into Kristin. #DAYS

 

Man, the gals were really chomping down the food at the mansion. Maybe they combined the scene with Alison's going-away party. #DAYS

Cosmic Event

Abby talks about "what happened between us" with EJ as if it's some cosmic event she had nothing to do with. #DAYS

 

Caroline announces she emptied the grease traps.  And they say nothing exciting ever happens on #DOOL. #DAYS

 

Something I'm wondering about Kate, Gabi and Sami: which one do we call Larry, which one Curly and which one Moe? #DAYS

 

Abby, if you're going to do something EJ doesn't want you to do, you don't have to get in his face and say you're going to do it. #DAYS

Right Before He Comes Back To Life

Ciara's bullying Chase.  Chase's dad Aiden fixes it by bullying Hope. #DAYS

 

Julie says Gabi still has feelings for her ex-husband. Would that make her a Nickrophiliac? #DAYS

 

Abby thinks EJ slept with her in order to shut her up.  If that was his plan, unfortunately it didn't work. #DAYS

 

Will says it's a matter of time before people realize Nick is dead.  Yeah, it'll happen right before he comes back to life. #DAYS

The Sweetest Stoner In Salem

Abby rationalizes her fling with EJ isn't adultery because EJ isn't married. Crafty Abby gets the Lord God Almighty on a technicality. #DAYS

 

Brady doesn't lie.  He really didn't have one drink last night.  He had about a half dozen by my count. #DAYS

 

Julie says she doesn't want to jump to conclusions. What does she call what she's been doing for the past two days?

 

Bev scoots in, "JJ you can trust me with anything." Translation: give me all the juicy details. #DAYS

 

JJ tells Bev, "You are so sweet." Sweetest stoner in Salem. #DAYS

Not Healthy For Children And Other Living Things

EJ asks if his separation with Sami is over. Translation: "Let's hit the sheets." #DAYS

 

EJ tells Sami he just did what he had to do with Abby.  Tough job, but somebody had to do it. #DAYS

 

Next on the History Channel's Ax-Men: Daniel vs. the door. #DAYS

 

Roman asks EJ who would do this to Eric. Leave it to the SPD to go to the town's organized crime family for solutions. #DAYS

 

Lucas: lying to your mother is not healthy for children and other living things. #DAYS

One Broken Commandment At A Time

At least babbling bawling Nicole knows how to die with dignity. She's not doing it, but she knows how. #DAYS

 

Roman wants the whole story from the beginning. Here we go: Tom and Alice walk into their living room... #DAYS

 

EJ insists Abby is a good person.  Right. But she's turning that around one broken commandment at a time. #DAYS

 

The more Nicole whines the more I wonder just how long it takes for gas to fill a room. #DAYS

 

Sami says blood is blood.  True, and we'll see a lot of it when she finds out about EJ and Abby. #DAYS

The Luuuuuvvveee Shack

BULLETIN: Male viewers have filed a protest — both Will and Sonny were topless in bed but Abby wasn't. Blatant gender #discrimination. #DAYS

 

Theresa tells JJ to lose the attitude... with an attitude of her own. #DAYS

 

EJ and Abby, together again at the Smith Island Luuuuuvvveee Shack. #DAYS

All Foam And No Beer

Theresa, Daniel and Jennifer all together. Matter meets anti-matter and doesn't matter. #DAYS

 

JJ says Abby has been off since Smith Island. Abby must have been born on Smith Island. #DAYS

 

Daniel agrees to dinner with Theresa. How did the man get through med school? His brain is all foam and no beer. #DAYS

 

Jennifer, when you say, "I don't mean to butt in," if the next word out of your mouth is BUT, you're butting in." #DAYS

Pair O' Nerds

Theresa says making trouble for Daniel isn't the goal.  For her the goal is making Daniel, period. #DAYS

 

What emergency does a personnel director have in a hospital? Licking envelopes so the W2 forms get out on time? #DAYS

 

Every time Jennifer and Daniel get together an angel loses it's wings. #DAYS

 

Jordan: Paranoid. Daniel and Ted: Pair o' nerds. #DAYS

Two Locomotives Heading For Each Other

Sami says she's not accusing EJ of anything.  She will when she gets wind of his little peccadillo with Abby. #DAYS

 

Eric wants them to forget their conversation. Marlena can't do that.  Exactly, because that would be minding her own business. #DAYS

 

Kate insists everything is under control. Translation: Imagine two locomotives heading for each other on the same track. #DAYS

 

EJ says Abby bought his story after he pulled out all the stops.  That's not all he pulled out. #DAYS

 

Daniel: Smart enough to get through med school; not smart enough to remotely back up his computer. #DAYS

Hooch

JJ tells Rory not to think or he'll hurt himself.  Well, in that case JJ is in no danger of being injured either. #DAYS

 

Marlena refuses to forgive Victor. To err is human; to forgive; beyond the capability of the holier-than-thou. #DAYS

 

Abby thinks EJ and Sami should be alone for the assumed confession... so Abby can avoid the eruption of Mt. Samitubo. #DAYS

 

For once, Daniel is happy to hear from JJ, since it's an excuse to get rid of Dr. Buttinski. #DAYS

 

Maggie checks the liquor levels. Mags, Brady is rich. He can afford his own hooch. #DAYS

A Cauldron Of Stupidity

Ricardo rushes in with Stefano's cell phone.  Silly me, I just keep mine beside me. #DAYS

 

Jennifer won't pry, just wants to know what's going on. I guess it's a fine line between wanting to know what's going on and prying. #DAYS

 

I understand they're calling the possible Lucas/Sheryl pairing "Lush." Bwahahahaha. #DAYS

 

Abby wonders how she could have been so stupid. Let's see, Jack's genes + Jennifer's genes = a cauldron of stupidity. #DAYS

Ditzy Women

Take heart, gamblers: The chance you'll win the lottery is much better than the chance EJ can hide this affair from Sami. #DAYS

 

Theresa's fresh off a 12-step meeting and needs to go to step 13: get completely stoned. #DAYS

 

Lucas says they admire ditzy women at Mad World. If he's there, they admire ditzy men, too. #DAYS

 

EJ and Abby agree IT can never happen again, then dive right back in. "Never" ain't what it used to be. #DAYS

Iron-panties

EJ insists he and less-than-passionate Sami are doing just fine. I wouldn't blame him if he kicked Old Iron-panties to the curb. #DAYS

 

Brady contemplates taking a drink, but no. He either saw Maggie & Victor there or, more likely, wanted a better buzz. #DAYS

 

Ciara doesn't want to write thank-yous after getting lame presents.  Get over it kid, we all have to do that. #DAYS

 

Gabi yaks on and on and on to Sonny. When will she learn to check to see who's in the closet before rambling about the murder? #DAYS

 

OFPS! So John wasn't Colleen's son? After that whole Colleen-Santo mess? Once again the #DOOL writers give us severe whiplash. #DAYS

Awkward

Brady reminds the pusher that he's loaded.  That's true.  He's also rich. #DAYS

 

When you look "awkward" up in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of Jordan, Kate and half-naked Rafe together. #DAYS

 

EJ doesn't want Sami to think he's a monster who would help destroy Eric. He's just a monster who would kidnap his own daughter. #DAYS

 

Kate brings Arianna's christening gown.  That's nice but I don't think it will fit Rafe.

Fogging For Mosquitoes

The Guy Manual has some advice for EJ: "When your woman denies your desire, let other gals set you on fire." #DAYS

 

Henchman says EJ's lucky no cop saw the evidence. Salem cops think a smoking gun is someone fogging for mosquitoes. #DAYS

 

Zombie Nick gets more face time on the show than he did when he was alive. #DAYS

 

Lucas shows interest in Jordan. Lucas and Rafe after the same woman... how original. #DAYS