Ste-fanny

Sophia, Holly, Ari, and Tate together in the pub. You could cut the tension with a six inch stiletto heel. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — "I just want to know what our baby looks like." Sophia: "She looks like all other babies. Just imagine a tiny bald grumpy potato." #DAYS

Holly: "Aaron is cute… ish." Translation: If Holly's dog looked like Aaron she'd shave the dog's butt and make him walk backwards. #DAYS

Those outside scenes of the buildings in Salem look absolutely post-apocolyptic. #DAYS

Stephanie's great ass puts the "fanny" in Ste-fanny. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I don't know what to do about my situation with Alex. Do you have any advice for me?" Jada: "Yes. Take a nap… with Alex." #DAYS

Theo stares at JJ's badge. I don't think it's because he's a collector. #DAYS

Brady contemplates a career change. Maybe he should go run that hardware store he bought when he was in Canada with Nicole. #DAYS

Theo: "I don't have a problem with JJ as a person. I have a problem with him as a cop." He's on the Salem PD. That doesn't count as being a real cop. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "If we move in together I need to know you're ready to put in the work with me." Alex: "Yes. I'm ready to put in the work." Stephanie: "OK, take out the trash." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tony: "I'd be willing to offer a pretty penny for Titan." Phillip: "I think it's worth more than a cent." #DAYS

Tony offers to by Titan for three times what it is worth. His MBA must stand for "Massive Blunder Artist." #DAYS

Pure Evil

Next on #DOOL — Patch: "Could you do a DNA test on Sophia Choi's baby?" Kayla: "That would violate medical ethics." Patch: "Ethics? I'm not familiar with that term." #DAYS

EJ says he has ulterior motives for opening the "Tom Horton Free Clinic." To make it the "Tom Horton Profit Making Clinic?" #DAYS

Chad: "I like Cat very much." Thomas: Do you like-her-like-her?"  The like-her-like-her stage is just one step away from giving her his class ring and asking her to go steady. #DAYS

They may wind up this episode with Sarah and Xander singing Kumbaya. #DAYS

Chad: "I think EJ's intentions are pure." Pure evil. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Cat: "I know you had some experience with Abigail." EJ: "Best shower of my life." #DAYS

A Hungry Piranha

Tony turns the "One Stormy Night" event into one stormy press conference. #DAYS

Tony to Gabi: "Keep running Gabi Chic and before you know it, the rightful DiMera CEO will be at the helm. The key word is "rightful" and I don't think he really has Gabi in mind. #DAYS

Chad tells Theo the new DiMera CEO should be young with fresh ideas. Theo gives a look that makes me think he's ready to paint his name on the door. #DAYS

Leo to Gabi: "After the press conference I saw you running for Tony like a hungry bear after honey." More like a hungry piranha in a feeding frenzy. #DAYS

Alex' interaction with Stephanie went from "let's move in together" to "I'm going back to MY OWN apartment" in just a few heated sentences. #DAYS

Still A Virgin

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Why are you rummaging through my things." Alex: "I'm looking for something." Stephanie: "Well, my underwear drawer is in the next room."

Holly and Tate… Sittin' in a tree… A-R-G-U-I-N-G. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kate: "When do I get the next draft of your steamy novel?" Stephanie: "It'll be a while. The main character is still a virgin." #DAYS

Victoria gets a copy of "The Velveteen Rabbit" for her birthday. The way they SORAS kids on this show she should also get a copy of "One Stormy Night." #DAYS

A Salem Minute

Next on #DOOL — JJ: "I'm surprised you're taking the class I'm teaching." Holly: "I'm over the crush I had on you. I just hope you spank your students when they are naughty." #DAYS

No competent prison would let an unaccompanied little girl in to visit her mom. Rachel got in because the key word was competent and this is Salem. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sophia: "I wish there was a way to make things up to you." Tate: "There is… even though I'm with Holly, I may be looking for a sidepiece." #DAYS

Rachel: "Are you in trouble?" Kristen: "No. I've only been sentenced to prison because I'm such a good person." #DAYS

Kristen to Rachel: "You can't stay here in the prison." She'll have her own little slammer when they find our who really shot EJ. #DAYS

If Rachel tells Tate the truth about the baby it'll be all over town in a New York minute. Actually… a Salem minute. #DAYS

Infidelity

Theo stares ominously at JJ's badge. Not to worry, Theo. He's a Salem cop. He's lucky he could figure out how to pin the badge on. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Maggie: "If you and Tate spent the night together I have to ask… are you still a virgin?" Holly: "I am today." Maggie: "What does that mean?" Holly: "I've never had sex on a Wednesday." #DAYS

Julie: "Time goes quickly for some, slowly for others." Apparently Julie has been doing some reading about Einstein's theory of relativity. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shawn: "Theo was cheating on Claire." Belle: "I guess infidelity runs in our family." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Julie: "I'm going to keep Doug in my heart… and my vibrator in my nightstand." #DAYS

Marlena: "By the time Kristen is out of prison she will have missed almost all of Rachel's childhood." Every cloud has a silver lining. #DAYS

Abe to Theo: "Stay with us. We have lots of space." But the Salem Inn has all that privacy. #DAYS

Celibacy Sucks

Apparently there is an entire wing of Salem Hospital they haven't been using. Geez, if they would open that up they could handle more than one patient at a time. #DAYS

Xander: "I can't forgive Sarah. The betrayal was too great." Looks like it's time for another session with Marlena. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Can I interrupt you while you're writing?" Stephanie: "God no! The main character in my next book is about to lose her virginity." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Let's celebrate your book's success by doing what your main character did on page 87." Stephanie: "EJ wants me to meet him ASAP." Alex: "I can be quick." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "When it comes to you and Cat, how do you feel?" Chad: "I feel… that celibacy sucks." #DAYS

Stephanie: "This hospital is steeped in tradition." And they have the bodies of their former patients to prove it. #DAYS

Alex: "Somebody bugged Phillip and Xander's office." Stephanie: "You mean like they put in a listening device." Well, he's not talking about infesting it with cockroaches. #DAYS