Paws-essed

Bonnie: "It's always darkest before the dawn." A nice sentiment, but scientifically untrue. #DAYS

Justin: "God knows how Victor's mind works." God: "Actually, I don't have a clue about how his mind works." #DAYS

EJ offers to call ahead and have a dry martini waiting for Nicole at dinner. Translation: Get her drunk enough and… #DAYS

Not a good sign when they have to bring your attorney from his jail cell to confer with you, Bonnie. #DAY

Next on #DOOL — Nicole drops her keys. EJ bends down to pick them up. Nicole: "Did you just look up my skirt?" #DAYS

Nicole to EJ: "We have to talk about you kissing me. What was that about?" Well, duhhhhhh… #DAYS

Not only is Kayla not convincing that she's drunk, Patch isn't convincing that he's trying to get her to dial it down. #DAYS

Justin:

♫ My Bonnie lies in the next cell block ♪♪♪

♫ My Bonnie lies in jail like me ♪♪♪

♫ My Bonnie's locked up with Gwen Rizczech ♪♪♪

♫ Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me. ♪♪♪

#DAYS

Ciara and Ben bask in the afterglow. Ciara: "That was a spiritual experience." Ben: "I could tell. You kept yelling, 'Oh, God, Oh God, Oh God!'" #DAYS

Ciara sips coffee: "I'm going to miss this. I'm trying to get pregnant." Are people in Salem so ignorant about pregnancy prevention they think coffee is a form of birth control? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I'm not letting you see Doug." Julie: "You can go to hell." MarDevil: "I'm not ready to go home yet." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "I love the hell out of Abe." MarDevil: "That doesn't impress me. I don't want the hell out of anyone." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — In an unexpected twist, Marlena's dog Lucy-fur becomes paws-essed. #DAYS

A High School Virgin At Bible Camp

Today's Brady/Chloe recap: Chloe moves out on Phillip. Brady moves in on Chloe. #DAYS

A rag-tag group of friends and family get together to put on a big production show: Days of our Lives, 2021; Babes in Arms, 1939. #DAYS

John wants to know why Marlena limited Doug's visitors. Whatever you do, Satan/Marlena, do not say, "The Devil made me do it." #DAYS

Roman comes on to Kate. Kate acts like she's some high school virgin at Bible school. #DAYS

Who The Hell Is Jack LaLanne?

Justin: "I'm not just in hell; I'm in hell with Jack LaLanne. Younger viewers: "Who the hell is Jack LaLanne?" #DAYS

John to Marlena: "What the hell has gotten into you?" Or, who the hell… from hell. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Justin must've really loved you." Bonnie: "He really loved his wife, then latched on to me after she died because I look exactly like her. It was kind of like getting a new Cocker Spaniel after the old one died." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I want a front row seat to the premiere of your movie." Johnny: "Why do you need a seat when you can levitate." #DAYS

In flagrante delicto

Scenes we'd like to see: A repeat of the scene with Phillip walking in on Brady and Chloe, only with the pair in flagrante delicto. Then Old Pegleg would really have a reason to get his Jockeys in a twist. #DAYS

Another scene we'd like to see: "Brady rips off Phil's fake leg and throttles him with it. #DAYS

Rafe to EJ: "You know what you can do with your $300 bottle of wine?" Euwwwww! For God's sake, empty it first. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "When I see you and EJ together I get so damn jealous." Nicole; "Don't say that. You're with Ava." Rafe: "True, but variety is the spice of life." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "EJ wants to play grandpa John in my movie." Allie: "He can't." Johnny: "Why?" Allie: "He's too tall to fit on a conference table." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ciara: "What do you have for buttering up my hard-headed grandpa?" Allie: "Butter?" #DAYS

Ciara: "Ben and I want to have a baby. I threw away my birth control pills and we got right down to work." Allie: "I don't know what you're working on, but if it were me I'd have jumped into bed with him."

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I levitated… right here in bed." John: "Without me? You know I like it kinky." #DAYS

Sex On A Conference Table

Phillip says Chloe is "misunderstanding." She calls him a complete ass. Doesn't sound like she's misunderstanding to me. #DAYS

"Why can't we all get along?"
~Gabi Hernandez, 2021
~Rodney King, 1991

They're all going to share in the profits of the movie. Does the contract also stipulate they will also all share in the losses when it bombs? #DAYS

If this is going to be a movie about Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black the credits will have to be on a wide screen. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "I'd vote for you jumping on a plane and moving in with your daughter." Gabi: "Don't you bring my daughter what's-her-name into this." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "You have no choice. I'll be playing John Black in the movie. What do you say to that?" Chad: "I hope you throw your back out having sex on a conference table." #DAYS

Plan Nine From Outer Space

Roman tells John he won't fund Johnny's movie because neither of them want Marlena to have to relive her possession. Also because it's shaping up to be the worst movie since "Plan Nine From Outer Space." #DAYS

Ciara: "What was that incredible wind all about?" Ben: "I don't know, but that's not what I had in mind when I said I wanted a blow job." #DAYS

Abby: "You've been very patient with me waiting to be intimate. Now it's time to let you back in." Literally.

Next on #DOOL — Ciara: "With all this lovemaking trying to have a baby, I'm getting the short end of the stick." Ben: "Hey, it's not that short." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "You think we can plan a wedding in a month?" Paulina: "We can do it. It's always fun when we put our minds together." Abe: "It's more fun putting our bodies together." #DAYS

Wham-Bam

Johnny kisses Chanel: "That was my way of saying, 'thank you ma'am.'" The wham-bam will come later. #DAYS

Satan's voice on Marlena's recorder is obviously distorted. After listening carefully, I've finally figured out who it is… IT'S DUKE! #DAYS

Ciara chucks her birth control pills. It's a good thing she got rid of them. In Salem that's contraband. #DAYS