IPs and URLs and XKEs

Julie: "I'm not a woman who takes a cat nap when I'm stressed." Drinking a fifth of whiskey is a lot more effective. #DAYS

Jeremy is worried about never being able to teach again. As a fall-back he could also return to running a fly-by-night airline. #DAYS

If Jeremy comes anywhere near me he will be sorry. Maybe Stephanie is more of a threat to Jeremy than he is to her. #DAYS

Julie: "I don't know about IPs and URLs and XKEs." I can understand if she doesn't know technical jargon, but it's a shame she doesn't know about a classic Jaguar automobile. #DAYS

♫♪ Phillip’s Gonna Get Some ♫♪

Alex: "I just heard Xander sacked Brady." Phillip: "I guess word travels slow when you're working from home." OH,SNAP! #DAYS

Theo picks up on JJ's reaction to Gabi having a date with Phillip. The painkillers Theo is getting don't seem to be affecting his ability to think. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Whenever someone gets within ten feet of me I just want to jump out of my skin." Steve: "From what I've seen whenever Alex gets within ten feet of you, you want to jump right out of your clothes." #DAYS

Steve: "Thanks to Bo and hope it won't be long until we can find out who owns that website." Thanks to https://www.whois.com/whois/ you can find it out in fifteen seconds. #DAYS

Julie: "Does the fact you're leaving town have anything to do with Alex Kiriakis?" Jeremy: "It has to do with the fact Stephanie is with Alex Kiriakis." #DAYS

Gabi: "I'm sorry I keep going on and on about my probably-dead ex Stefan." In Salem "probably-dead" and "alive-and-well" pretty much mean the same thing. #DAYS

♫♪ Phillip's gonna get some… Phillip's gonna get some… ♫♪ #DAYS

The Stick Up Her Ass

Jeremy has turned into quite the counselor. #DAYS

Jennifer: "Chad, we love you." All we want to do is yank your kids away from you. #DAYS

Agnes: "Mr. Devereaux, we'd like to hear more from you." That makes one of us. #DAYS

Jennifer might be more comfortable if she removed the stick up her ass. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL Chad: "I have a plan. I'm not giving up custody of my kids." Agnes: "Do you and Jennifer have a plan?" Jack: "Certainly. Thomas mows the yard and Charlotte does the laundry." #DAYS

A Relationship Wrecking Strumpet

Dr. Gregory thinks there are things to be said between Holly and Sophia. True. Holly has not yet called Sophia a relationship wrecking strumpet and Sophia has not told Holly she is a skanky boyfriend stealing pyromaniac. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Priest: "Have you chosen godparents for your child?" Chanel: "Yes Javi Hernandez and Leo Stark." Priest: "Those bums?" #DAYS

If that kid playing Trey isn't a member of the Screen Actor's Guild there's going to be trouble. #DAYS

Marlena: "I can't believe John isn't going to come walking through the door." The way they come back from the dead on this show, he might. #DAYS

Disdain, Bickering, and No Sex

Next on #DOOL — Javi: "My dad failed his stress test." Gabi: "He should have studied harder." #DAYS

Leo wants Gwen to make Dimitri disappear again. If I were Gwen I'd ask for Leo to define "disappear." #DAYS

Maybe Chanel isn't having morning sickness. Maybe she just had lunch at the pub. #DAYS

Disdain for each other, bickering, and no sex. You'd almost think Gwen and Leo were married. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Javi: "I have to leave town." Johnny: "Javi good trip." #DAYS

Completely Wacko

Sophia: "I know why you're here. It's because I pretended to be Sophia during bed-check. Am I going to be punished?" Dr. Gregory: "No, but there will be consequences." Isn't "consequences" a fancy word for "punishment?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Dr. Gregory: "I want to see those notes from Sophia." Rachel: "You can't. I ate them." Dr. Gregory. "I'll schedule your enema." #DAYS

Marlena: "Are you convinced Rachel did not take your money?" Even Brady isn't that dumb. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jeremy: "I brought notes from your classmates." Rachel: "They know I'm in Bayview?" Jeremy: "No, but they do know you're completely wacko." #DAYS

Sarah to Xander: "I AM NOT HAVING A FLING WITH BRADY!" She's right. They're not at the "fling" stage. Right now it's just plain monkey-sex. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jeremy: "I was in therapy once." Rachel: "Really? Why?" Jeremy: "I didn't want to be the only one in Salem who hadn't done that." #DAYS

Jada: "I want to see you walk down the aisle and marry the man of your dreams." Sarah: "That's just what I'm going to do." If that doesn't doom the wedding I don't know what would. #DAYS

Sarah to Maggie: "Xander thinks Brady and I are doing whatever he thinks we're doing." That's exactly what Maggie thinks they're doing, too. #DAYS

We Tiddled

Brady suggests Tate work his way up to running Basic Black because he's a business major. Yeah, a Freshman business major who is hanging by a thread from flunking out. #DAYS

Brady: "You should run Basic Black." Tater Tot: "I'm not interested in that kind of thing." THEN WHY ARE YOU A BUSINESS MAJOR? #DAYS

Leo: "Who made it a capital offense to love two people at the same time? Anybody's spouse or committed partner? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "I had a dream about Dimitri last night." Chad: "What was it about?" Leo: "Let's put it this way. We weren't planing tiddlywinks… come to think of it… it was kind of like that. Dimitri winked at me and then we tiddled." #DAYS

Ari: "I'm a big girl." Physically, maybe. #DAYS

They don't make a paddle big enough for Rachel. #DAYS