Strip Tennis

Alex and Joy… JJ and Gabi… Phillip and Stephanie… Stephanie obsessing over Alex… Chanel nukes over Johnny and Joy… Those folks down the road in Peyton Place were amateurs. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "Chanel may never even look at me again. If she can't look at me, how could she ever get back with me?" Abe: "By texting you?" #DAYS

Johnny, just tell Javi you and Gabi were playing 'strip tennis.' And you were losing. #DAYS

Johnny and Joy: Did they or didn't they? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of Chanel's wrath or to come clean about their carnal misdeeds. Only time will tell. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "You're a tough cookie." Joy: "Too bad for Johnny that he took a bite out of me." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip: "Maybe we could have dinner together." Stephanie: "Can we invite Alex?" #DAYS

Musical Hookups

DiMera New Year's party guests continue to play "musical hookups." However, Chanel thinks the bond between Johnny and Joy is anything but musical, or happy, or anything but infuriating. #DAYS

I'm surprised some of the guests at the party can count backwards from ten. #DAYS

Arnold, in his role as a proxy for Rafe, is all too happy to take advantage of Jada. #DAYS

I'm getting mixed up about who's with who and who has been with who and who is going to be with who. And by "with" I mean… Oh, heck, you know what I mean. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "I feel a little spark between us." JJ: "So do I." Gabi: "Sounds like those sparks are about to become a bonfire." #DAYS

The Wet Evening Gown Contest.

Joy: "I would die if Chanel found out what happened between Johnny and me." Because she would kill you?" #DAYS

EJ isn't enthusiastic about Chanel organizing a party. Chanel: "Roman is catering it. No one will have to lift a finger." I can think of a finger I'll bet EJ would like to lift right now. #DAYS

Not that Gabi's dress is low cut, but I don't think we've ever seen her belly button before. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I'm done making new year's resolutions. I try to stick to them but always wind up in bed with the guy anyway." #DAYS

Stephanie wins the Wet Evening Gown contest. #DAYS

Five Minutes Is All It Takes

Feniger and Hernandez… Sounds like a cheesy Law firm. #DAYS

Holly to Doug" "If I tell you what's going on, you have to promise not to tell anyone else." Ben Franklin: "Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "Tate and Sophia weren't really together long enough but she still got pregnant." Doug: "Five minutes is all it takes." #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Mrs. Choi calls Mr. Choi: "Make sure your shotgun is clean and in good working order." #DAYS

Arnold cold-cocks Rafe. Rafe's hurt, but at least we can rule out brain damage. #DAYS

Arnold on phone: "Hi, baby doll. What's shakin'?" Jada: "Both of them. Like a bowl of jello." #DAYS

Holly: "Even if Tate and Sophia aren't together they'll always have this thing together." This 'thing' is called a baby. #DAYS

Clark Kent Meets Doofusman

Belle tells Shawn that Jada wants Paulina to replace EJ with her. Shawn says he won't say anything. I'm sure he won't… until he does. #DAYS

Mrs. Choi: "Tate said he was interested in Sophia but only had eyes for Holly." He had something else for Sophia. #DAYS

Tate should invite Holly to go with him to help Sophia get her abortion. ROAD TRIP! #DAYS

Arnold and Rafe come face-to-face. It's like Clark Kent meeting Doofusman. #DAYS

I Rafed Her

Leo: "You finding Hattie is a Christmas miracle." Anytime Rafe succeeds at anything is a miracle. #DAYS

Jada to JJ: "I have a place on the force for you. I need all the good cops I can get." In lieu of that, she'll settle for JJ. #DAYS

I wouldn't work for Paulina if there was onlyone job left in the world and I got a Ferrari for my company car. #DAYS

Arnold Feniger – A Rafe Dumbleganger. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "I'm gland Abraham is secure in his masculinity." Jada: "Secure in his masculinity? Is that the new term for 'henpecked?'" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Steve: "Where's Stephanie?" Kayla: "She left after we got down and dirty about her love life." Steve: "Her love life? You mean she's not a…" Kayla: "Not since she didn't come home the night after her high school prom." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "We really need to set a wedding date." Rafe: "You're absolutely right. How about February 30?" #DAYS

Jada: "Getting married on your birthday would be a great way for you to remember our anniversary." There it is. A resounding endorsement of Rafe's brainpower. #DAYS

EJ to Arnold: "You raped Smai Brady." As I recall, EJ was accused of the same thing. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "I'm offering you good money to leave. If you were smart, you'd take it." Arnold: "I'm no smarter than Rafe." EJ: "That would mean your combined IQs wouldn't reach double-digits." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "You raped Sami Brady." Arnold: "She never said no when we had sex. She thought I was Rafe. So I didn't rape her. I Rafed her." #DAYS

The Kama Sutra

#DAYS