A Boob

Nancy says Abby's funeral was a beautiful thing. Any funeral for Abby would be a beautiful thing. #DAYS

In case you're wondering, Ciara wore that ultra low-cut dress to the funeral as a metaphor for the fact that Abigail was a boob. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL - Nancy: "Just because you've done something wrong in the past doesn't mean you'll repeat it." Marlena: "It does if you're Clyde." #DAYS

Jan: "I don't want to go back to prison." Most convicts don't. #DAYS

Apparently, according to Jan, "parenthesis" and "the curvy one" can be used interchangably. #DAYS

How did Jan get Shawn's password?  He probably has it tattooed on his ass.  #DAYS

Marlena: "Ben, you are such a good and kind man." For a serial killer. #DAYS

I'm The Q

You can't blame Sarah for pulling the knife on Chanel. Kristen and Chanel look so much alike. #DAYS

So Lani and Eli are leaving. I can't wait until next year when they return with their teenage children. #DAYS

Lani is leaving. The guys are sure gonna miss her fine ass running around the screen. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "I'm adopting you." Lani: "Can I have my own room?" Abe: "Yes… in prison." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — "I'll be calling and asking you annoying questions about your love life." Chanel: "Yeah, when it comes to LGBTQ, I'm the Q." #DAYS

Monkey Sex

If, as they say, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," then Paulina just blew the relationship. Good thing for Paulina, the way to a man's heart is a bit south of his stomach. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla: "I should vaccinate you. You don't want monkey pox, do you?" Belle: "Of course I want it." Kayla: "Are you saying you want monkey pox?" Belle: "Oh, no. I don't want that. I thought you said monkey SEX." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Julie: "Don't forget… Justin is as good as it gets." Eli: "If that's true, R. Kelly should have hired Justin." #DAYS

Unbridled Sex

Belle: "I made vows and promised Shawn I would never break them again." Breaking vows is Belle's hobby. #DAYS

Chloe to Jan: "Using your own child to get your hooks into Shawn… that's pretty low." Not Actually, chapter one of the Gal's Manual is "How to use your pregnancy to get your hooks into a guy." #DAYS

Maybe they could dress Abby in the gown she wore at Bayview. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ to Belle: "You come across as confident… straightforward… and a bit of a slut." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — After a night of unbridled sex with EJ, Belle goes home, gets her Bible and pencils in a few corrections, most notably crossing out one key commandment. #DAYS

Belle, Belle, going to hell,
How does your sex life go?
"I've got nothing to hide,
I've got guys on the side.
And wouldn't mind a few more."
#DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ to Belle: "I'd like you to stay so that tomorrow the first thing I would look at would be your pretty face. Well… come to think of it… the second thing I would look at." #DAYS

Inappropriate

Lucas doesn't remember where he was or what he did that night. ARE THERE NO SECURITY CAMERAS IN SALEM? #DAYS

Get a grip, Lucas. #DAYS

Bryan Dattilo must think blubbering and overacting is the path to a daytime Emmy. #DAYS

I hope Sami gets a big divorce settlement. She's going to need it if she's married to Lucas. #DAYS

The Salem Spectator reports that at the funeral when the minister said, "We will never hear Abby's voice again," the ensuing applause was "inappropriate." #DAYS

Friends In Low Places

Lucas: "I went on a bender. It was one night. Just one night. That was it." Sometimes one night is all it takes, Lucas. #DAYS

Belle: "Jan has been trying to come between Shawn and me for years. I guess she finally succeeded." With a little help from Satan himself. Jan has friends in low places. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "I'm so sorry to tell you we've lost your mommy." Thomas: "That's OK. They'll find her. Bayview is a big place." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "What they charge for a bowl of chowder here at the pub is criminal." Clyde: "That's because the price of the bacteria that causes botulism has gone up." #DAYS

love Convicts All

Lani confesses. Paulina is guilty of giving a false confession. Since family is so important in Salem, maybe they'll let Lani and Paulina share a prison cell. #DAYS

Lani: "This is supposed to be a celebration." Way to liven things up, party girl. #DAYS

Everyone in the group raises his or her hand. What you didn't hear was someone asked, "Who in this group is a suspect in Abby's murder?" #DAYS

Eli to Lani: "By the time you get out of prison our children could be teenagers." On this show, that's only a couple of years. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Lani: "I confessed to Ray's murder because I love you." Paulina: "But I confessed because I love you." Eli: "They say love conquers all. In this case I think we can say love convicts all." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Roman: "Have you been secretly studying law books at bedtime?" Kate: "Why would you ask that?" Roman: "I figured there had to be some reason I'm not getting any." #DAYS