Shut Up And Service Me

Marlena: “We never have to deal with Stefano again.” How can she think that? So many people come back from the dead on this show that this year Salem is hosting the Zombie Nation Annual Convention. Lexie is scheduled to be the keynote speaker. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — “You’re the DA. Your job is to prosecute criminals.” Belle: “Really? I guess I should read my job description.” #DAYS

Gwen to Xander: “Shut up and service me.” I don’t think she means, “gas ‘er up, check my oil and clean my windshield.” #DAYS

Xander: “I enjoy our time together.” Apparently Xander’s technique is a little too… uh… “efficient” for Gwen to feel the same way. #DAYS

Gwen reminds Xander: “Speedy service is only a good thing if you’re Domino’s Pizza.” #DAYS

ResurrLexieon!

Lexie wakes up. It’s a ResurrLexieon!

Lexie shows up at Stefano’s will reading. Abe’s jaw drops. He, Lexie, and Paulina had better convert to Mormonism tout-de-suite. #DAYS

Interesting observation: Lexie has been dead for 15 years but somehow has aged right along with everyone else. Ergo: dead people age. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla: “What’s up?” Abe: “Lexie.” #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rolf: “Bringing Lexie back from the dead is a historic first… well,  except for that little incident in Jerusalem a couple millennia ago.” #DAYS

Sophia! OK, it’s only Kristen’s imagination. For a minute there I thought today’s episode was a back-from-the-dead-a-pallousa. #DAYS

EJ to Kayla: “Medical research isn’t illegal.” I’m guessing Lexie would agree with him on that one. #DAYS

A Pram-off.

I want to hear more of Cat’s story about Santa Claus getting an apartment in Brooklyn. #DAYS

Alex suggests Joy stay in Salem. That’ll make Stephanie’s day. #DAYS

Julie tells Stephanie she was in a similar situation once. At least that tidbit of gossip got Stephanie interested in something beside herself. #DAYS

It’s move out day at the Salem U dorms. That school year sure went quick. Holly only had time to burn the dorm room down once. #DAYS

Joy and Chanel’s baby carriages crash into each other. Ooooo! A Pram-off. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Joy: “This is my baby Kelsey.” Chanel: “Do you know who the father is?” Joy: “The leading candidate is Alex.” #DAYS

If Joy has any form of wardrobe malfunction, we’re going to have a boob-alanche. #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: the ensuing melee after it is revealed that Stefano left his entire estate to Rita. #DAYS

Stefano: “This will is real and final.” Until a new mystery will is found next year. #DAYS

A Fortune Cookie

Jeremy says he knows Stephanie is strong enough to get through her crisis. I have no clue where he got that idea. Maybe he read it in a message from a fortune cookie. #DAYS

Chanel is in the hospital for a mammogram. Dr. Sarah says she will walk Chanel down to radiology herself. The people who write #DOOL have no concept of how things work in a real hospital, do they? #DAYS

Would-be killers in Salem need to stop having lengthy conversations with their potential victims, which gives the victim time to turn the tables, avoid getting killed and causing the perp to get arrested or hauled away by the men in white coats. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah (on phone): “Johnny nearly died from inhaling gas in his apartment.” Jada: “Was there a leak?” Sarah: “No. He farted.” #DAYS

A Strumpet

Steve & Kayla bring Stephanie an apple pie and a gun. Are Kayla’s pies that bad? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Patch: “Be sure to clean your gun regrlarly.” Stephanie: “Is it dishwasher safe?” #DAYS

Stephanie isn’t sure she wants kids. Alex wants kids. Joy shows up with Alex’ daughter. Man, this is gonna work out great for everyone! #DAYS

Alex thinks maybe he should take a paternity test to see if he’s the father. Joy assures him he’s the father. He says he trusts her but, as the old saying goes, “trust but verify.” #DAYS

Patch: “Don’t mess with Stephanie.” Would surprising her with her husband’s daughter with Joy count as messing with her?” #DAYS

Joy has returned to Salem as a redhead. That proves she’s a strumpet. #DAYS

Theo: “I didn’t want to be No-no’s executor.” Then you should have said no-no. #DAYS

The Booty Call Smorgasbord

Chad returns to Salem looking completely different after having months of plastic surgery so Thomas can’t recognize him and he can go back to being with Cat. #DAYS

Leo: “How can I write 1,200 words on the sanitation department with Javi canoodling around with his new boyfriend?” Personally, I’d use a computer. Alternatively you could use a typewriter or longhand. You’ll figure it out. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: “I’m about to be handsomely solvent and comfortably flush.” Leo: “I don’t know about handsomely solvent, but most turds are comfortably flushed.” #DAYS

Kristen and Lani reconnect… and compare notes on what it’s like to be an alumnus of Statesville. #DAYS

Tate tells Brady he’s not going back to Salem University. Maybe he wants a degree from an accredited school. #DAYS

Xander: “If Gwen isn’t living at the DiMera Mansion, spending so much time with her isn’t quite as appealing.” Translation: The Booty Call unlimited smorgasbord becomes more of a pick-and-choose take-out situation. #DAYS

Wanderingeyetis

Q: Theo gets the hots for Gabi. But he’s in a relationship with Jada so what’s going on here? A: He’s a man, all of whom are born with an ocular affliction called wanderingeyetis. #DAYS

Jeremy to Stephanie: “If I were Alex I would want to take away your anxieties and fix everything.” Translation: “I wish I was in Alex’ position and he was out of the picture so I could fix everything so tell him to take a flying leap and I’ll be happy to step in.” #DAYS

Stephanie: “I promise I won’t be calling you every time I lose my mind.” That’s good. If she did her phone bill would be enormous.”

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: “There is one thing I know I need right now… and that is you.” Alex: “Any particular part of me?” #DAYS

The Gals At The Salem Bordello

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: “Let’s go back to your place for dessert.” Brady: “Do you mean dessert or… DESSERT?” Sarah: “How about both? We could pick up some whipped cream on our way.” #DAYS

Alex to Stephanie: “Fun and babies aren’t mutually exclusive.” Sometimes fun leads to babies. It appears, however, Alex won’t be having that kind of fun anytime soon. #DAYS

EJ and Kristen enjoy the show Gwen and Xander are putting on while Xander and Gwen enjoy the show Kristen and EJ are putting on. Why isn’t everybody happy? #DAYS

The DiMera couch sees more action than the gals down at the Salem Bordello. #DAYS