Dummy of the Day Award

Scenes we’d like to see: Phillip bet $50 Million that Xander would die and the entire Kiriakis fortune goes down in flames. #DAYS Kayla: “Xander’s awake.” Brady: “That’s great… but not too great” #DAYS Chanel: "We can't go out for a night on the town, but there is another way we can celebrate." I guess they're walking into the next room to carve a pumpkin. #DAYS If EJ and Cat don’t take it upstairs they’re going to spill that popcorn. #DAYS Belle: “How did you get Dominic’s phone number?” Marlena: “Haven’t you ever heard of a phone book?” Belle: “Only in old black and white movies.” #DAYS And the award for the dummy of the day goes to… OMG! It’s a three way tie between Alex, Stephanie, and Phillip! #DAYS

The Road To Hell

Stephanie casually asks if Kayla has time to chat. Yeah, Kayla’s only the Chief of Staph. She has nothing else to do. #DAYS

Leo: “I’m a man of ‘what ifs’ – what if the elevator stops between floors… what if Javi doesn’t show up...” He forgot ‘what if Alex was gay…” #DAYS

Johnny: "It's all downhill from here." So is the road to hell. #DAYS

Tate meets Mason and Holly coming out of his hotel room. Nothing suspicious about that. #DAYS

Phillip could go back to gambling if he bet Xander will recover. That’s a pretty safe bet. #DAYS

Isn’t it about time we got a closeup of Xander’s hand with his fingers twitching? #DAYS

EJ and Johnny trade soliloquies. I’m disappointed. Neither one started with “to be or not to be…” #DAYS

Tate: “My schedule is really booked.” So far his only clients we know about are Joy, Mason, and Holly (who he’s probably not charging). #DAYS

The Ptomaine Tearoom

Cat’s lipstick shade keeps reminding me of Frank-N-Furter in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. #DAYS The first time they were married Roman was murdered on their wedding night. I hope their first time together this time goes a little better. #DAYS Note: I forgot the name of the guy Sydney is with. Sydney shows Dimitri the pub… also known as the Ptomaine Tearoom. #DAYS Marlena is happy Kate moved back in with Roman. Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black wants the best for all of her former husbands. #DAYS Amy doesn’t want Sophia to leave town. Isn’t Statesville close enough? #DAYS

Joy's Bullsh*t

Lani: “All of Chanel’s special donuts are gone.” I don’t think it was the jelly filling that made them so popular. #DAYS

Marlena: “Stefano and I were never intimate.” An immaculate conception is unlikely but wouldn’t be without precedent. #DAYS

Even with his X-Ray vision it’s unlikely Superman could see through all of Joy’s bullsh*t as thick as it is. #DAYS

Johnny tells Stephanie there is a scandal. Steph: “Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more.” #DAYS

If it’s a surprise to you that Sophia is alive, please surrender your DOOL card immediately. #DAYS

Sophia’s journey from Salem to Paducah would make a great plot for the movie “The Odyssey II.” #DAYS

A Village of Neanderthals

Scenes we’d like to see: Rita Marino comes to town Salem to live in the Kiriakis Mansion with her grand-nephew Dominic. #DAYS `

Steph and Alex plan for Kelsey’s care: Stephanie: “It takes a village.” Joy asks to stay with Alex. Alex says yes, proving in his case it’s a village of Neanderthals. #DAYS

Maggie has to declare the mansion does not have a history of vermin. Unfortunately it does. The Kiriakis family lived there for years. #DAYS

Jada the Comissioner… Shawn the cop… This relationship has “lawsuit” written all over it. #DAYS

Rachel holds her stomach and screams. Brady: “Sarah will take care of it.” Rachel: “I WANT MOM.” She really should go with Sarah. Her mom is a terrible surgeon. #DAYS

Thoroughly Baked

Abe didn’t get an invitation to the baby shower. He’s luckier than Phillip winning that $20 million if you ask me. #DAYS

Abe being the only man at a baby shower is a scarier situation than when Matt Damon was the only human on Mars. #DAYS

What the hell are they pinning on the baby? If it’s a male, Julie got it a little high. #DAYS

The “resisting a rest” onesies aren’t funny at all… unless you’ve had a spiked donut. “NotAlicesRecipe #DAYS

The “resisting a rest” onesies aren’t funny at all… unless you’ve had a spiked donut. “NotAlicesRecipe #DAYS

The donuts at the party are thoroughly baked. So are Abe and the women. #DAYS 

Everyone's Pissed

Next on #DOOL – Rafe: “I guess you and Phillip are back on.” Gabi: Mainly it’s Phillip that’s on… me.” #DAYS

Phillip is going to help Leo by following the gambling money. What could go wrong? #DAYS

Phillip saves the company. Everyone’s pissed. Can you imagine the reactions if he had lost? #DAYS

Belle phones Brady to say she’s worried about Marlena. Brady: “What’s wrong?” Belle: “I’m not sure.” Well, that explains it. #DAYS

If you’re interested in reading the full Sarah Horton/Destiny Rolands case file it’s stored in the collection of the expansive Salem Hospital Malpractice Library, an iconic Salem institution. #DAYS