Banging Gwen

Scenes we'd like to see: Kayla discovers the guard under the sheet, picks up the phone and shouts, "The guard is unconscious! Send a doctor stat!"

Next on #DOOL — EJ on phone: "Stephanie is missing. I want the hospital locked down." Security Guard: "Right away sir. Just as soon as I finish lunch." #DAYS

Sarah says she can't let her baby's dad part of her life right now. And it has nothing to do with the fact that Xander is banging Gwen… Well, maybe just a little. #DAYS

Jada: "Did the man who attacked you have any distinguishing marks?" Like what… maybe he had "JEREMY" tattooed on his forehead? #DAYS

If Alex dies he could always come back as Ben. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Maggie: "You can tell me. What's wrong?" Holly: "It's everything," Maggie: "Could you narrow it down just a bit?" #DAYS

Barfing Your Brains Out

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "You want to see me again tonight? I don't have a thing to wear." Phillip: "Great. I prefer it when you're not wearing anything."

Patch: "There is still a chance Jeremy isn't the stalker." With these clods convinced it's him there is almost a certainty Jeremy isn't the stalker. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Bonnie: "Johnny is here to buy my book." Justin: "How many copies?" #DAYS

Stephanie: "EJ wants me to put out a press release about the success of the clinic." Kayla: "So he wants to toot his own horn." Tooting your own horn is exactly why you hire PR agents. #DAYS

Johnny: "Chanel is doing OK. She does have a little morning sickness." Bonnie: "That's great. Of course I know it's not pleasant barfing your brains out." How does the woman come up with such astute insight?" #DAYS

Cheeky Fun

Gwen defines her relationship with Xander as "cheeky fun." Translation: Frienemies With Benefits." #DAYS

Holly goes off the deep end. I can't help getting on the bandwagon so… #HollyJonasIsABitch #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: "Apparently Xander and Gwen have consummated their relationship." Brady: "Right. And I also think they had sex." #DAYS

So, the same meds that are supposed to help Sophia and turning Holly into a whacked out screaming mimi? #HollyJonasIsABitch #DAYS

Xander removes his wedding ring.  Wow, that will certainly erase any feelings he has for Sarah. #DAYS

Tate wonders why Holly is freaking out. That's simple… #HollyJonasIsABitch #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "How long should we keep having our cheeky fun?" Xander: "As far as I'm concerned, as long as I can grab your cheeks it will be fun." #DAYS

February Fornicateenth.

Given the age difference between Jada and Theo, she can actually be his date and chaperon at the same time.

In Salem, Valentine's Day falls on February Fornicateenth. #DAYS

Phillip and Gabi decide to take a shower together. I hope his artificial leg doesn't rust. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rachel: "Are you joining our sleepover?" Brady: "No, I'm planning one of my own." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — We might be able to bring back some memories if you would read to me." Cat: "What do you suggest I read?" EJ: "I understand 'Fifty Shades of Gray' is a pretty good book."

Gabi's mom always told her if she did something wrong she should confess it right away. All those confessions were the reason Gabi lost her voice when she was a kid. #DAYS

Unlike Gwen and Xander, I have never broken a bed during sex, but there was that time at summer camp my friends and I found out they don't make good trampolines. #DAYS

Susan-Interruptus

Any more graphic double-entendres in that "golf" conversation between Xander and Gwen and this episode will be taken down. #DAYS

Gwen says she used golf to relax and de-stress. Take it from someone who has played the game… there is nothing relaxing and de-stressing about golf. As they say, "Golf is a relaxing walk in the woods ruined by a little white ball." #DAYS

This interaction between Gwen and Xander has been foreplay ever since we heard the tinkling of Gwen's shattered automobile glass. #DAYS

Gwen and Xander fall victim to Susan-Interruptus. #DAYS

Gabi suggests she and Phillip go lie on the beach under the stars. Looks like the mosquitoes are about to have a great Valentine's Day Dinner. #DAYS

Note to Stephanie and Alex: Get a room! Oh… I guess you have a room. USE IT! #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander: "Wow. That was the best golf lesson I ever had. Did I get a birdie?" Gwen: "I think I'd rate that an eagle." #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Chad drones on at Abby's grave. He leaves. EJ shows up and reminisces about their shower together. #DAYS

Julie to Thomas: "Geologic time is very long." So was that scene at Abby's grave. #DAYS

A Bitch-Off

Chad tells Cat he's going to Arizona "where it's 80° and sunny every day." Except for the summer where it's 110° and sunny every day – between dust storms. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "I have a standing reservation here at the Bistro." Cat: "Then why are we sitting?" #DAYS

To start the show we have a bitch-off between Gwen and Julie. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Kristen is moving in but only for a month." Tate: "Which gives her another full month to figure out another way to manipulate you." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Are you and Holly going to have a little Valentine's day dinner." Tate: "Just a little Valentine's day 'dessert.'" #DAYS

Those gals from lameo crappa gamma are as brainless as Holly, only without taking the pills. #DAYS

Holly: "I don't know what's wrong with me." Well, for starters, you think getting in that sorority of bimbos would be a good thing. #DAYS 

A Peek At Belle's Ass

Julie to Jeremy: "I have told everyone I think these accusations against you are false." Thinking they are false and proving they are false are two different things and usually the proving part takes precedence over the thinking part. #DAYS

Dimitri: "Open the door." Leo: "I'm not coming out." Oh, Leo, you came out years ago." #DAYS

Jeremy and Alex get right in each others faces. The one with the worst breath wins. #DAYS

Stefano's ossuary (or "ashuary")looks pretty beat up. You'd think he would have something more "first class." #DAYS

I really think Leo took a peek at Belle's ass when she walked away from him. #DAYS

Now that EJ wears the Phoenix ring, he seems to be stepping up his "nastiness" persona. #DAYS