SUDDS

Tate and Holly fall victim to one of the worst sex-relatedDiseases of all – SUDDS. Salem Unlocked Door During Sex syndrome. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "Can you imagine what would have happened if Ari had walked in on us a few minutes earlier?" Tate: "A three-way?" #DAYS

The family had Stefano cremated because because they wanted his death to represent his life, where he was always making an ash of himself… rimshot. #DAYS

Anna and Tony discuss Stefano's urn. Anna ought to know about urns after hauling Tony's urn around before he returned from the dead. #DAYS

It Doesn't Work That Way

If Gwen could gain a few pounds she could use that dress next Halloween as a Michelin Tire Man costume. #DAYS

If none of the guys in the crypt could get phone service or wifi, how was the camera in there transmitting its signal? #DAYS

Protip for Gwen: When someone serves you a summons, you're not allowed to shove it back at him and say,. "I don't want it." It doesn't work that way. #DAYS

Protip II for Gwen: Tearing up a summons doesn't invalidate it. It doesn't work that way. #DAYS

Phillip and Gabi are heading for sun, sand, and surf in Miami. When he goes swimming Phillip has to cover his artificial leg in Saran Wrap. #DAYS

Party Like It's 1999

Melinda tells Chad signing the agreement where a ten year old dictated the terms is not advisable. So, what's new? Welcome to Salem, where the inmates run the asylum. #DAYS

Gabi says she won't be a hypocrite so she gives Ari permission to go out and party like it's 1999. What could go wrong? #DAYS

JJ tails Jeremy. Good ole' Jeremy may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but with all the attention centered on him he'd be a real fool to try something stupid right now. #DAYS

JJ follows Jeremy and stands behind the flower cart where no one can spot him. Gabi spots him. #DAYS

Gabi is concerned because Theo said she and Phillip may not be in it for the long-haul. Gabi wonders why.  Could it be because Phillip ain't a long-haul kind of guy? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "I'm the perfect picture of sanity." EJ: "Apparently sanity isn't very photogenic." #DAYS

The Love of Her Life Du Jour

Johnny and Chanel are so giddy over the results of our checkup it's almost inevitable this is all headed for disaster. #DAYS

Chad informs Cat he has signed a pre-non-nupital agreement. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Stefano DiMera is dead." Kate: "I've known that for a long time. I slept with him before Viagra was around." #DAYS

The plan is to go public with an announcement that Stephanie and Alex are planning to elope. If you publicly announce you're going to elope, is that really eloping? #DAYS
 
Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I'm kicking myself that I can't go back to my younger self and not get involved with Jeremy." Jada: "I'm kicking myself, too." Stephanie: "When were you involved with Jeremy?" #DAYS

Stephanie to Alex: "You're everything to me." Translation: He's the love of her life du jour. #DAYS

Jimmy Hoffa

Rolf might have better success reviving dead bodies than reviving, as Gwen put it, her "bloody bank account." #DAYS

Johnny to Chanel: "What did Dr. Horton say about stress." Probably that it's stressful. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "If EJ murders me, you can bring me back to life, can't you?" Rolf: "Let's put it this way… "can" and "want to" are two different things." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shane reveals the identity of the bones in the DiMera crypt. EJ: "Huh? Who is Jimmy Hoffa?" #DAYS

IPs and URLs and XKEs

Julie: "I'm not a woman who takes a cat nap when I'm stressed." Drinking a fifth of whiskey is a lot more effective. #DAYS

Jeremy is worried about never being able to teach again. As a fall-back he could also return to running a fly-by-night airline. #DAYS

If Jeremy comes anywhere near me he will be sorry. Maybe Stephanie is more of a threat to Jeremy than he is to her. #DAYS

Julie: "I don't know about IPs and URLs and XKEs." I can understand if she doesn't know technical jargon, but it's a shame she doesn't know about a classic Jaguar automobile. #DAYS

♫♪ Phillip’s Gonna Get Some ♫♪

Alex: "I just heard Xander sacked Brady." Phillip: "I guess word travels slow when you're working from home." OH,SNAP! #DAYS

Theo picks up on JJ's reaction to Gabi having a date with Phillip. The painkillers Theo is getting don't seem to be affecting his ability to think. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Whenever someone gets within ten feet of me I just want to jump out of my skin." Steve: "From what I've seen whenever Alex gets within ten feet of you, you want to jump right out of your clothes." #DAYS

Steve: "Thanks to Bo and hope it won't be long until we can find out who owns that website." Thanks to https://www.whois.com/whois/ you can find it out in fifteen seconds. #DAYS

Julie: "Does the fact you're leaving town have anything to do with Alex Kiriakis?" Jeremy: "It has to do with the fact Stephanie is with Alex Kiriakis." #DAYS

Gabi: "I'm sorry I keep going on and on about my probably-dead ex Stefan." In Salem "probably-dead" and "alive-and-well" pretty much mean the same thing. #DAYS

♫♪ Phillip's gonna get some… Phillip's gonna get some… ♫♪ #DAYS