Double Your Pleasure

Stephanie is suffering from MLTA (Morose Laconic Teenage Angst) Syndrome. It would look a lot better for her if she was a teenager. #DAYS

Jada will be living with Shawn while she diddles around with Theo. Her motto is "Double your pleasure, double your fun, get yourself two dudes instead of just one. #DAYS

Leo to Kayla: "You know what's worse than a broken heart?" Listening to you ramble on and on about your mood swings? #DAYS

I"m with Patch. I don't think real police departments let people confront their attackers in an interrogation room, ESPECIALLY without a police officer present. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shawn: "I know you're disappointed in me and I won't be upset if you suspend me." Jada: "I'm not going to suspend you." Shawn: "That's really generous of you." Jada:"Not really. I'm too short staffed to suspend anyone right now." #DAYS

Jada says she's not going to suspend Shawn but, even worse, his conduct during the shooting will go on his… dum-da-dum-dum… permanent record. #DAYS

No Nookie November

Brady to Holly and Tate: "Rachel is innocent in all this." Innocent yes, intelligent no. #DAYS

Sophia and Kristen bump into each other. This is quite unusual. With the way they slither and move about, it's a scientific fact that it's very rare for two snakes to bump into each other. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Xander and I don't have anything on the books today." EJ: "The only thing you and Xander have anything on is a bed." #DAYS

Gwen and Xander: Friends with Benefits… without being friends. #DAYS

Paulina: "One kind gesture does not cancel all the bad things EJ has done." True. In fact, in the business world it's the opposite that's true… One "Aw Sh*t" cancels out ten "attaboys." #DAYS

Adrienne to Justin: "You pull that book and it will be 'No Nookie November.'" She pulls out a woman's ultimate weapon of mass destruction.

Phillip asks Gabi to become his POSSLQ… an old 80s term meaning Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. #DAYS

Theo gets "The Mother of All Surprises." No pun intended… OK, you caught me… put intended. #DAYS

EJ asks Theo if he can trust him with the secret that Lexie may come back to life. Perhaps he should have asked him that BEFORE he showed him who was in that room. #DAYS

Satan Rejected Her

Johnny:  "I don't think I could live without John Paul." I wonder what's going to happen to him. #DAYS

Johnny and Chanel are having one of those happy-happy-happy conversations that just tell you everything's on the verge of falling apart. #DAYS

Kristen: "Rachel and I are leaving Salem." Way to play it close to the vest, Kristen. #DAYS

Rachel: "It smells in here… like overripe bananas." Brady probably farted. #DAYS

Johnny: "Trey is at the library." Chanel: "Is that safe?" Johnny: "What do you think… that someone is going to kidnap him?" This is Salem. A child is not qualified to enter grade school until he or she has been kidnapped. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Did you sleep well?" Stephanie: "I slept great until 2am when the nurse came in to give me my sleeping pill." #DAYS

Vivian is dead but she'll be back. She went to hell but Satan rejected her. #DAYS

We've got "One Stormy Night" and "One Rainy Afternoon." No doubt the next one in the series will be "One Morning After," where Belle finds out she's pregnant with EJ's kid. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I jump out of my skin every time Alex touches me." Chanel: "Alex understands." Stephanie: "Yes he does… while he keeps touching me." #DAYS

A Quickie Before You Leave

Gwen trades barbs with Leo. Also known to her as Matthuhh. #DAYS

Rachel gave Brady and Sarah the go-ahead to get together. The only thing missing about what she sais was to end with, "and be sure to use protection." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Liam: "I have to go." Rachel: "If you ever want to come back… feel free. If you need someone to change your bandage… let me know. If you want a quickie before you leave…" #DAYS

Sarah and EJ talk, then Sarah leaves in a huff. Marlena: "What was that all about?"  It could have been about eavesdropping town busybodies, if you catch my drift. #DAYS

Jada wants her subordinate and former lover Shawn to move in with her where he can be a front row observer to Jada and Theo's "Harold and Maude" relationship simmering. Awkward? Conflict of interest? What could go wrong? #DAYS

Home Alone

Holly and Tate
They're doing great
Except for the pills they're taking
They stall up in bed
Tate's libido is dead
Out the window goes their love making.
#DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: "That spark between Xander and me may never go away." Maggie: "So you think Brady may be your own personal fire extinguisher?" #DAYS

Holly: "We're here in the house alone so…" they can romp in the bedroom with the door unlocked and give a big surprise to anyone who comes home and walks in on them. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ari: "Gage and I need to get back to studying." Gabi: "You'll need at least one of two things: self-control or birth-control." #DAYS

Wigged Out

Marlena to Kayla: "How's Stephanie?" What's the medical term for "wigged out?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "I need a search warrant for the DiMera's secret room." Jada: "What do I use for probable cause?" Rafe: "Probable what?" #DAYS

Alex tries to put Stephanie's wedding ring back on her finger. Stephanie jerks away. Not exactly a ringing endorsement of the marriage so far. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "You kissed EJ in Italy when he was unconscious? Isn't that sexual harassment?" Cat: "Only when it's a man kissing a woman." #DAYS

Steph asks Alex to go to the hospital cafeteria and get her a latte – listed on their menu as hot milky water. #DAYS

Salem's Oldest Virgin

Leo to Dimitri: "Are you saying someone tried to kill us?" Well, the guy who shot at you wasn't duck hunting. #DAYS

EJ: "I feel sorry for you, Belle." Well, she's not the one in handcuffs. #DAYS

Phillip: "What are you doing the rest of the night?" Gabi: "What do you have in mind?" Is that a rhetorical Question? #DAYS

Ari tells Liam he's about to pass out due to his flesh wound. Heck, I've had a mosquito bite bigger than that. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "What if Shawn starts drinking heavily again?" Jada: "He'll get drunk." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ari: "How did you get mixed up with the mob?" Liam: "A mob boss hired me to put a horse's head in a some guy's bed." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rachel (on phone): "Why do you think I'm going to come out of this hearing OK?" Sophia: "You're smart, you're slick, you know how to get exactly what you want… and you're Salem's oldest virgin." #DAYS