Far Proximity

Devlin St. John, master of disguises, has himself looking exactly like John Oliver. Or maybe Oliver’s show got canceled and he came back from the dead in Salem. #DAYS

Belle to Marlena: “It’s not like I’ve never traveled before. I’ve been around the world.” She’s also been around the block, if you catch my drift. #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: On his next show, John Oliver goes after Devlin St. John and his corrupt practices at the Salem Water department. #DAYS

Starting the show with two half naked guys with their glistening bodies was absolutely critical to the plot. #DAYS

I hope Phillip knows what he’s doing by entering the poker game. He could lose an arm and a leg. That would leave him with one arm and zero legs. #DAYS

Chanel to Paulina: “What do you think Marlena was trying to tell you?” Something like “Lexie is going to croak and you’re on deck to get back into the game with Abe. #DAYS

Cat: “What’s Lexie’s prognosis?” Dr. Green: “It doesn’t look good for her. The rats are dropping like flies.” So it doesn’t look good for the rats either… or the flies. #DAYS

Dr. Green: “Working for EJ pus his employees in close proximity.” Is there such a thing as “far proximity?” #DAYS

Her Boobs Fell Out

Kristen: “What would father think of us?” He would wish he had become a monk.” #DAYS

Lexie is distressed over the number of Christmases she missed. Wasn’t it enough that her bulb was on the Horton tree? #DAYS

Abe to Lexie “We will have so much time together.” When they are buried next to each other. #DAYS

Javi dreams about Dimitri choking Leo in bed. This show is getting borderline kinky. #DAYS

Xander: “The chemistry between Sarah and me is back.” It didn’t take Marlena long to shoot that down. #DAYS

OK, Holly, so Sarah didn’t believe you when there was evidence you were taking drugs. Three Words: Get over it. @DAYS

Sarah reveals to Holly that EJ is responsible for planting the drugs in her bag. In a releated item, have you ever visited Mammoth Cave? It’s about as big as Sarah’s mouth. #DAYS

Kayla tells Stephanie not to be too hard on herselof. Her spat with Joy is really not Steph’s fault. It’s because of her birth defect. She was born with her foot in her mouth. #DAYS

Joy has yet another emergency situation for Alex to handle. When she reached for the baby carriage, her boobs almost fell out of that sweater.#DAYS

Lonnie says she knows for a fact Lexie did not leave because of Theo. If you think about it, that’s exactly why she left. #DAYS

Dried Dog Poop

Belle compares Alex and Joy to Shawn and Jan Spears. Stephanie starts planning how to put Joy in a permanent coma. #DAYS

Shawn: “I want to move in with you.” Jada: “You mean co-habitation?” Shawn: “No. I think we should keep our habits separate.” #DAYS

OMG! Amira is leaving Basic Black! Which unqualified regular character will they get to replace her? #DOOL

Brady sure has become buddy-buddy with Xander. I guess Brady has forgotten Xander tried to kill him. On this show letting “bygones be bygones” means the writers hope viewers forget the old plots. That’s how Phillip gets away with having grown a new leg. #DAYS

Phillip claims Titan is solid. So is dried dog poop. #DAYS

Belle wants to know why Joy doesn’t want Stephanie around Kelsey. Because Joy is a vindictive little bitch? #DAYS

Alex walks in on Gabi and Phillip “discussing business.” That was some heated discussion. #DAYS

Phillip dances around after Gabi leaves. Pretty good moves for a guy with a wooden leg. #DAYS

The Devil’s Island Dungeon

Eli ordered Sweet Bits donuts. Got a Nooner instead. #DAYS

Gabi had a “morality clause” in her contract with Titan, which she thinks will invalidate it.. That could invalidate almost any contract in Salem. #DAYS

Looks like JuIie and Foster are going to give it a go. I, for one, was looking forward to the Marlena-Foster-Julie love triangle. @DAYS

Rita asks EJ if Cat will be his personal assistant where that leaves her. EJ better not cross Rita. She has enough information on him to send him to the Devil’s Island dungeon for life. #DAYS

Sarah asks Holly why she is so anxious to leave the hospital. Because her doctor is being an ass? #DAYS

Belle's Chest

Marlena suggests Brady stay out of the conflict between Kristen and EJ. Someone from Salem minding their own business? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS

EJ promises Felicity a ride in his Lamborghini. Not good. Anytime anyone in Salem is seen driving car someone winds up mangled in a ditch. #DAYS

The way the dating histories of those two women have gone lately, might that first scene in this episode have turned into a “Cat” fight that could have only been saved by the “Belle?” #DAYS

Leo says Gabi wants to go “all David vs. Goliath” against the counterfeiters. In this case wouldn’t Gabi be the “Goliath?” Might not be healthy for her. #DAYS

Gabi thanks Rafe for helping her get all that money. Apparently Rafe has never heard of a finder’s fee. #DAYS

Camera focuses in on Belle’s chest. Chad: “So what am I looking at here?” I wonder.

Poor Holly. EJ has done a masterful job of setting her up... maybe he doesn’t care for her quite as much as he claims. #DAYS

Having It On Kristen

Rachel: “Whenever I use the Queen’s Gambit I lose.” Maybe the Queen is pretty possessive about her precious little gambit. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena I know from first hand experience what it’s like to come back from the dead.” Lexie: “So does everyone else in Salem.” #DAYS

Kayle: “Your daughter has a bruised clavicle.” Alex: “What does that mean?” Just a wild guess, but I think it means she has a bruised clavicle. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: “You can call me, anytime day or night.” Lexie: “But don’t you get upset when someone wakes you up in the middle of the night?” Marlena: “Only when it was John wanting sex.” #DAYS

Kayla: “Your father always saw through Ava.” What he saw through was Ava’s nightgown. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: “I went to Bayview to see Rachel and Kristen was there.” Belle: “As a patient, I hope.” #DAYS

Stephanie: “I’ll have a martini, and keep the tab open.” Apparently she plans to spend the afternoon working out her problems, which will be compounded tomorrow with a raging headache.” #DAYS

Belle to Chad: “Your taste in music is evolving.” His taste in women, however, is not. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: “Are you saying Xander is having it off with Kristen?” Gwen: “It’s more accurate to say he’s having it ON Kristen.” #DAYS

Javi and Gus back in while while Gabi and Gwen watch them pawing each other. Javi: “I didn’t realize we had company.” You don’t. You have an audience. #DAYS

After years of watching #DOOL I thought we had hit rock bottom, but in spending the night with Joy, Alex has taken dumb to a new low. #DAYS

Proud Mary

Chanel is concerned about losing her hair. Better losing her hair than her life. #DAYS

Xander and Phillip don’t seem to like Alex’ assessment is their responsibility. #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: Chanel, wearing her Tina Turner wig, breaks into a rendition of “.” #DAYS