Grooming

Roman tells Kate to help him sweep: “Grab a broom.” No need for her to go find one. She flies around on hers all the time. #DAYS

Ari and Aaron, Holly and Tate alone at the Horton cabin. What could go wrong? #DAYS

Maybe Sophia is holed up at the Horton cabin??? #DAYS

Thomas to Chad: “This baseball mitt is awesome!” Face it, you CAN buy love. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla and Patch run in to screaming Stephanie’s room. Steve: “Joy is fine. You didn’t hurt her.” Stephanie: “I didn’t?” Steve: “No. Better luck next time.” #DAYS

I only have audio right now. Joy’s boobs popped out and busted my TV screen. #DAYS

Belle and Chad: “Bad” ??? #DAYS

EJ says he hates disappointing Cat. Yeah, because it hinders his grooming process.

EJ thinks living in Kansas City, Missouri is why Cat got to know Clyde Weston. Geography tip: Kansas City is 350 miles from Poplar Bluff. Maybe they were Facebook friends. #DAYS 

Mrs. Snodgrass

Next on #DOOL — Kristen: “How are you?” Lexie: “Not dead.” #DAYS

According to Dr. Rolf, if Lexie is putting a new bucket list together. It probably should be a small bucket. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: “I examined a patient yesterday and a couple hours later she was dead.” Brady: “What happened?” Sarah: “She died.” #DAYS

Holly: “This whole Sophia nightmare is over.” Until Sophia comes back from the dead. #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: Mrs. Snodgrass, who lives across the hall from Stephanie, calls 911 for someone to help get the bullet out of her butt. #DAYS

Stephanie: “I can’t believe I made such a terrible mistake.” Jada: “It could have been more than a mistake. It could have been a tragedy.” Damn straight. She could have destroyed one of Joy’s boobs. #DAYS

The Runner Up

Laugh of the day: Belle, “You can’t do a DNA test on cremains.” Brady, “The ISA can.”  #DAYS

Is Xander going to blackmail Kate, too?  He'll make points with Marlena and get money from Kate and Gabi.  #DAYS

Belle and Brady reminisce about their times with John at the pub when they were kids. When Belle was a kid, John was missing most of the time and then she was SORASed to a teen. Brady was at boarding school and came back home an angry teen. #DAYS

Xander and Brady argue about which one of them is going to be Sara’s lover… the runner up gets go be her side piece. #DAYS

Marlena to Kate, “I don’t want to talk about this now.”  Well, honey YOU started it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL – Kate: “I think about John often.” Marlena: “Why?” Kate: “I think about all my sexual conquests.” #DAYS

`The 90-10 Diet.

Chanel thinks either she or Johnny should be a realist. Unfortunately Salem is where reality goes to die. Case in point: Lexie comes back from the dead. #DAYS

I have something in common with Tate. I’m on the 90-10 diet too. 90% whatever junk food you want to eat and 10% stuff that’s good for you, right? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena finds a penny by John’s grave: “You sent me a penny from heaven… cheapskate.” #DAYS

Gabi: “I have something to say.” Phillip: I don’t want to hear it.” Gabi: “I’m going to say it anyway.” I guess Phillip passed up the option just to walk away because that takes two good legs. #DAYS

Speedy Service

Gwen reminds Xander: “Speedy service is only a good thing if you’re Domino’s Pizza.” #DAYS

What the heck does Steph mean by “not ready to be a stepmother”? That’s one of the most selfish things I’ve heard her say. And she says a lot of selfish things. #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: Kristen gets Xander all tied up and then leaves. #DAYS

Marlena quizzes Xander about trystin’ with Kristen. #DAYS

Marlena reminds EJ that Sophia is dead. Vegas odds are trending that she is not. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Aaron: “I can’t get my mind off of Sophia.” Mr. Choi: “Too bad you couldn’t keep your hands off of her.” #DAYS

EJ: “A quarter of people in a coma are somewhat aware of their surroundings. I know that means 75% are not.” You can add mathematical genius to EJ’s other skills. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: “How did you get through that tragedy?” Julie: “I leaned on the people who loved me… and a special friend named Jack Daniels.” #DAYS

Shut Up And Service Me

Marlena: “We never have to deal with Stefano again.” How can she think that? So many people come back from the dead on this show that this year Salem is hosting the Zombie Nation Annual Convention. Lexie is scheduled to be the keynote speaker. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — “You’re the DA. Your job is to prosecute criminals.” Belle: “Really? I guess I should read my job description.” #DAYS

Gwen to Xander: “Shut up and service me.” I don’t think she means, “gas ‘er up, check my oil and clean my windshield.” #DAYS

Xander: “I enjoy our time together.” Apparently Xander’s technique is a little too… uh… “efficient” for Gwen to feel the same way. #DAYS

Gwen reminds Xander: “Speedy service is only a good thing if you’re Domino’s Pizza.” #DAYS

ResurrLexieon!

Lexie wakes up. It’s a ResurrLexieon!

Lexie shows up at Stefano’s will reading. Abe’s jaw drops. He, Lexie, and Paulina had better convert to Mormonism tout-de-suite. #DAYS

Interesting observation: Lexie has been dead for 15 years but somehow has aged right along with everyone else. Ergo: dead people age. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla: “What’s up?” Abe: “Lexie.” #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rolf: “Bringing Lexie back from the dead is a historic first… well,  except for that little incident in Jerusalem a couple millennia ago.” #DAYS

Sophia! OK, it’s only Kristen’s imagination. For a minute there I thought today’s episode was a back-from-the-dead-a-pallousa. #DAYS

EJ to Kayla: “Medical research isn’t illegal.” I’m guessing Lexie would agree with him on that one. #DAYS

A Pram-off.

I want to hear more of Cat’s story about Santa Claus getting an apartment in Brooklyn. #DAYS

Alex suggests Joy stay in Salem. That’ll make Stephanie’s day. #DAYS

Julie tells Stephanie she was in a similar situation once. At least that tidbit of gossip got Stephanie interested in something beside herself. #DAYS

It’s move out day at the Salem U dorms. That school year sure went quick. Holly only had time to burn the dorm room down once. #DAYS

Joy and Chanel’s baby carriages crash into each other. Ooooo! A Pram-off. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Joy: “This is my baby Kelsey.” Chanel: “Do you know who the father is?” Joy: “The leading candidate is Alex.” #DAYS

If Joy has any form of wardrobe malfunction, we’re going to have a boob-alanche. #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: the ensuing melee after it is revealed that Stefano left his entire estate to Rita. #DAYS

Stefano: “This will is real and final.” Until a new mystery will is found next year. #DAYS