Bar Wenches

Stephanie and Alex’ love is eternal. Uh, I meant ephemeral. #DAYS

Someone in Brady’s home has a pet snake. But that’s only because S’mores considers Rachel his pet. #DAYS

Adrienne is lucky copyright infringement is a civil offense instead of a crime. #DAYS

Protip for Bonnie: Books make great paperweights. #DAYS

Maggie threatens to fire Kate. I’ll bet Roman would give her a job as one of his bar wenches. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ari: “I brought you some Chamomile. It’s supposed to soothe your nerves.” Bonnie: “Straight bourbon works a lot better.” #DAYS

Shaken Not Stirred

Chanel: “I’ll always have a knee jerk reaction to all things DiMera.” In that case, whatever you don’t marry one… Oops. #DAYS

Lexie wakes up. She’s ALIVE! She’s ALIV… She’s ASLEEP! She’s ASLEEP! Fake out! #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see – Gwen orders a martini James Bond style, “shaken not stirred.” EJ fixes it… forgets to put the top on the shaker. #DAYS

Woody

As the show begins: Brady: “I think they ought to clean out the bullpen and fire the manager.” Steve: “Fire the manager? That’s a little harsh for little league, isn’t it?” #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: Brady discovers when you join Black Patch the uniform standards require you to actually wear a black patch like Steve’s. #DAYS

Stephanie needs to just snap out of it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip: “I’m moving back in… with Gabi… and Woody.” Sarah: “Who’s Woody?” Phillip: “My leg.” #DAYS

Johnny to Stephanie: “If I knew Bonnie’s book was a copy of yours I never would have bought the rights.” For future reference, Johnny, competent CEOs check things out before they dive into things.

You may be wondering how long it will take to find out if Sophia’s fingerprints are on the bottle. It does, in fact take a long time for the lab to process them, but if Brady and Tate are patient… wait for it… Someday her prints will come.” #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tate: “I don’t know if I want to go back to Salem U.” Brady: “Why?” Tate: “I want to get a college degree that’s worth a sh*t.” #DAYS

Woody

As the show begins: Brady: “I think they ought to clean out the bullpen and fire the manager.” Steve: “Fire the manager? That’s a little harsh for little league, isn’t it?” #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: Brady discovers when you join Black Patch the uniform standards require you to actually wear a black patch like Steve’s. #DAYS

Stephanie needs to just snap out of it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip: “I’m moving back in… with Gabi… and Woody.” Sarah: “Who’s Woody?” Phillip: “My leg.” #DAYS

Johnny to Stephanie: “If I knew Bonnie’s book was a copy of yours I never would have bought the rights.” For future reference, Johnny, competent CEOs check things out before they dive into things.

Double Your Pleasure

Stephanie is suffering from MLTA (Morose Laconic Teenage Angst) Syndrome. It would look a lot better for her if she was a teenager. #DAYS

Jada will be living with Shawn while she diddles around with Theo. Her motto is "Double your pleasure, double your fun, get yourself two dudes instead of just one. #DAYS

Leo to Kayla: "You know what's worse than a broken heart?" Listening to you ramble on and on about your mood swings? #DAYS

I"m with Patch. I don't think real police departments let people confront their attackers in an interrogation room, ESPECIALLY without a police officer present. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shawn: "I know you're disappointed in me and I won't be upset if you suspend me." Jada: "I'm not going to suspend you." Shawn: "That's really generous of you." Jada:"Not really. I'm too short staffed to suspend anyone right now." #DAYS

Jada says she's not going to suspend Shawn but, even worse, his conduct during the shooting will go on his… dum-da-dum-dum… permanent record. #DAYS

No Nookie November

Brady to Holly and Tate: "Rachel is innocent in all this." Innocent yes, intelligent no. #DAYS

Sophia and Kristen bump into each other. This is quite unusual. With the way they slither and move about, it's a scientific fact that it's very rare for two snakes to bump into each other. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Xander and I don't have anything on the books today." EJ: "The only thing you and Xander have anything on is a bed." #DAYS

Gwen and Xander: Friends with Benefits… without being friends. #DAYS

Paulina: "One kind gesture does not cancel all the bad things EJ has done." True. In fact, in the business world it's the opposite that's true… One "Aw Sh*t" cancels out ten "attaboys." #DAYS

Adrienne to Justin: "You pull that book and it will be 'No Nookie November.'" She pulls out a woman's ultimate weapon of mass destruction.

Phillip asks Gabi to become his POSSLQ… an old 80s term meaning Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. #DAYS

Theo gets "The Mother of All Surprises." No pun intended… OK, you caught me… put intended. #DAYS

EJ asks Theo if he can trust him with the secret that Lexie may come back to life. Perhaps he should have asked him that BEFORE he showed him who was in that room. #DAYS

Satan Rejected Her

Johnny:  "I don't think I could live without John Paul." I wonder what's going to happen to him. #DAYS

Johnny and Chanel are having one of those happy-happy-happy conversations that just tell you everything's on the verge of falling apart. #DAYS

Kristen: "Rachel and I are leaving Salem." Way to play it close to the vest, Kristen. #DAYS

Rachel: "It smells in here… like overripe bananas." Brady probably farted. #DAYS

Johnny: "Trey is at the library." Chanel: "Is that safe?" Johnny: "What do you think… that someone is going to kidnap him?" This is Salem. A child is not qualified to enter grade school until he or she has been kidnapped. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Did you sleep well?" Stephanie: "I slept great until 2am when the nurse came in to give me my sleeping pill." #DAYS

Vivian is dead but she'll be back. She went to hell but Satan rejected her. #DAYS

We've got "One Stormy Night" and "One Rainy Afternoon." No doubt the next one in the series will be "One Morning After," where Belle finds out she's pregnant with EJ's kid. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I jump out of my skin every time Alex touches me." Chanel: "Alex understands." Stephanie: "Yes he does… while he keeps touching me." #DAYS