The Magic Purple Crayon

Carly is at the pier. As she walks in she sees Vivian standing there with a bloody knife in her hand. She looks down and sees Melanie lying on the dock. Vivian taunts Carly. Carly screams, "What did you do?" She stoops and cradles Melanie's lifeless body, "No... no, baby... no, baby..."

Carly pops out of her dream at the Java Café and swears she won't let Vivian hurt Melanie.

They stop the show. The producer walks out and says, "We're doing some research and I'd like to know which of you in the audience bought that idiotic fantasy."

~*~*~*~*~* crickets ~*~*~*~*~
"Anybody?"

A lone hand goes up in the back. "Good," says the producer, "As long as there is one gullible dimwit left in the world we'll keep doing this."

Melanie and Vivian are at the pub. Vivian is butting into the wedding, "Mommie dearest is here and we are going to have so much fun planning together." Melanie says she doesn't want Vivian's help. Vivian puts on the sales pitch and lays it on thick. She backs Melanie into a corner and Melanie folds like the Massachusetts Democratic Party.

Stephanie is outside the pub. She's on the phone with Nathan and they agree to meet later. Stephanie goes inside and joins Melanie and Vivian. Melanie tries to wiggle out of her commitment, "Stephanie! You're here because we have plans to shop together."

~*~*~*~*~ crickets ~*~*~*~*~
"REMEMBER?"

Stephanie finally gets it and plays along. "Let's go now, suggests Melanie.

Justin and Hope are in the Kiriakis mansion den. He awkwardly says he doesn't want things to be awkward between them. Hope says she hopes she didn't have any part in his breakup with Adrienne, "And after what Carly did and what Bo did, I have to wonder, was my marriage ever worth saving?"

Offscreen, Bo wonders, "Why didn't I think of this before?"

Anna tells Sydney everything went perfectly according to EJ, "I think this might be the end of the road for us."

Rafe and Sami are in the cop shop looking at the new ransom note and Sami goes off the deep end. Rafe shows EJ the note. EJ grits and stares.

Sami busts a gizzard. EJ and Rafe duck to avoid the fallout.

Hope and Justin talk about him reading to Ciara. Justin says he misses his family and it helps to be able to read to her, "I'm especially fond of the one about the magic purple crayon."

Hope sighs, "What I couldn't do with a magic purple crayon right now. Or a magic purple shotgun aimed at Carly."

Carly and Nathan chat at the nurses station. She hands him a personnel file and says she doesn't know where the records go. Nathan offers to handle it for her and then sees it's Melanie's file. They talk about Melanie quitting nursing school. Carly asks about them dating. Nathan wonders if Melanie said he was the one responsible for her quitting the program. Carly says Melanie didn't even mention him, "So am I correct in assuming things didn't end well?"

"Obviously not," says Nathan, "She's marrying another guy."

"I see," says Carly, "So what you're saying is it didn't end well for the guy who got stuck with her."

Stephanie says this isn't a good time for her to go shopping. Especially when she should be at work. Vivian jumps back into the mix, "I have everything planned and we'll have to get together with my stylist, too."

The clouds part. Rays of sunshine come through. Vivian said the magic word. Melanie gasps, "You have a STYLIST?" Suddenly, Melanie is back with the program. Vivian and Melanie leave. Melanie turns and gives Stephanie a parting shot. She gives her a devil-face and quickly swipes her finger across her throat. Lovely girl, isn't she?

Rafe vows no one will let Sydney down. He says the fax is traceable. He leaves. Sami continues to snap, crackle and freak.

Vivian and Melanie come into the Kiriakis mansion den. Vivian finds sample dresses lying around. She drags one out of the garment bag and holds up the magenta-pink-crimson concoction, "That would be perfect if you were going to the Moulin Rouge." Vivian tries another. Melanie likes it and goes up to try it on.

Victor calls Vivian. She apparently has left him a message and he asks what has gone wrong now. Vivian says she overheard Bo talking to Phillip, "It seems Carly had her sights set on Bo before she came back." She wonders if Bo is the sole reason Carly came back to Salem.

Julie has joined Hope at the pub. Hope tells her about Carly's reason for coming to Salem, "She's here because she wanted Bo. And now they're together. Just like that."

Rafe asks Sami about the kidnapper's call. Sami says she let her talk to Sydney. "Was there anything else," says Super G-Man, "Was there any ambient noise?"

"We don't need Ambien around here," says Sami, "This show puts everyone to sleep."

Rafe says the fax was sent from the local area code by an unregistered mobile device. It must have been that new iFax. It's taking the geek world by storm. Soon, everyone will be carrying a fax machine around in a huge backpack. "Since it was a local number," says Brainiac, "I figure the kidnapper must be nearby."

Sherlock Holmes stands by with Watson and watches, "Amazing. I don't know how he comes up with such brilliant deductions. Listen and learn, Watson, listen and learn."

Sydney gets restless. "I know," says Anna, "waiting is murder." Sydney fusses and cries.

Vivian continues, "Death is too good for Carly."

"Everything is too good for her," says Victor.

"Her daughter could be anyone," says Vivian.

"I am running out of patience," says Victor.

Vivian asks, "Since when did you have that to run out of?"

Victor advises, "You have to lay low."

"That's not my expertise," says Vivian. Suddenly, Melanie returns wearing the wedding dress and Vivian cuts the conversation short, "You could be the most beautiful bride there ever was."

Back at the hospital, Victor bumps into Carly, "Trying to avoid me?"

Julie says she doesn't believe Carly and Bo have been trying to get back together for all these years.

EJ asks, "So, how big of an area is the FBI covering... how many miles?"

"Too many," snorts Rafe as he leaves.

Sami blames herself for not telling Rafe about the ransom note. EJ tells her to stop beating herself up, "I'm going to find our daughter. I will never stop looking." Rafe hears all this and he turns and listens as EJ rants about not playing by the rules, "I don't care about the rules and I'll get her back if it's the last thing I do."

"If you do it that way," says J. Edgar Loser, "it will be the last thing you do."

Julie says Bo loves Hope with his whole heart. "If you love someone," says Hope, "you don't turn around and sleep with someone else. Unless you're a typical male. I told him I needed time. He made time. I guess he was ready to move on. It was so easy for him. Bo can't resist being the heel... I mean hero. He's not my hero any more and never will be again."

Victor tells Carly, "I want to talk to you."

"What about," asks Carly, "Your moral repugnance?"

"No, yours," says Victor, "For what you did to Bo, you will be sorry you showed your face in this town."

Nathan joins Julie and Hope. They invite him to lunch, but he says he's there to meet Stephanie. Julie says she talked to Melissa and it did her heart good to see him with Stephanie. He says he's lucky to have her.

Three guesses who walks up and overhears the conversation.

"No," says Stephanie, "I'm the lucky one." Smooch.

Rafe says he won't have EJ working behind his back. EJ says he is just interested in finding Sydney, and leaves.

That's Sami's cue to flame out again, "I trust EJ."

Rafe asks, "Since when?"

"Since I don't have a choice," says Sami, "Since now." So apparently she didn't trust him when she took his advice not to tell Rafe about the ransom note. The girl's brain cell must be working overtime.

Anna bounces Sydney around as she wails. Sydney wails, too.

Melanie is excited about the dress, "This is the dress I want. I knew it the minute I put it on just like I knew Phillip was the Right guy for me immediately. I feel like Cinderella."

The wicked stepmother calls Monique and tells her which dress they've selected, "WHAT? You're holding it for the Countess of Wessex? Why did you bring it over here? We insist on this dress... Good." Vivian hangs up.

Melanie asks, "The countess of where?"

"A small place south of England."

"She lives in the English Channel?"

Melanie wonders why Vivian is doing all this for her. "Because," says Vivian, "Phillip loves you and that's all that counts." She decides to pass a treasured necklace on to Melanie to wear. Melanie agrees to accept it. Hugs.

Victor rants at Carly, "You married Lawrence, so you must be a masochist."

"Is that why I married you," she asks. Carly thinks Victor's interest in Bo's love life is unhealthy and assures him Bo won't be asking him for advice.

Victor says he's disgusted with Bo's behavior, "But I really don't care. I'll be gone. Phillip and Melanie are going to honeymoon on our boat and Vivian and I will be joining them." The crashing sound you hear is the lead balloon dropping behind Carly.

Julie says she gets it that Hope is hurt but knows she still loves Bo, "You do, don't you?"

~*~*~*~*~ crickets ~*~*~*~*~
Poor Hope finally breaks the silence, "I wish I didn't. Then it wouldn't hurt so much."

"It's all about love," says Julie, "What else matters?"

"Not much," whines Hope, "But it's too late for me and Bo."

"It's never too late," says Julie, "for clichés."

EJ is with Sydney and she has calmed down. Anna comes out and announces her fever is 99.9°. she wonders what they will do if Sydney needs a doctor.

Sami and Rafe are back at her place. Rafe is still upset with her and says it didn't have to be this way, "You lied to my face."

"I always get creative when I'm looking at a blank canvas," says Sami, "But I was trying to help Sydney. I lied for a good reason and if you hadn't found out about the note I would have Sydney back right now!"

Carly says Vivian and Victor going on the honeymoon with Phillip and Melanie isn't a good idea, "If you want to ruin his life, though who cares? Just get the hell out of mine."

"Hurt my son and I'll hurt you," says Victor. He turns on his heel and walks away.

"Hurt my daughter and you won't have the chance," sneers Carly.

Melanie has changed back into her civilian clothes. Vivian pontificates about happiness. Melanie says she can't wait to say I do. Vivian gasps, "Be still my heart." Well, that would make Carly happy.

Hope says she realizes she has been unfair to Justin. Julie says she didn't keep Justin here, "He made those choices himself."

"Maybe he made them because he wanted to (say it with her) be here for me."

Julie asks, "Do you think because you and Bo are having problems he thinks he can move in for the kill?"

"He wouldn't ever think that," says Hope, "There is only one man in my heart. It's Bo. He's loved other women but I've never loved another man, with a few minor exceptions we shall not speak of."

EJ says if Sydney needs a doctor she'll get a doctor, by cracky.

Here's a news bulletin... Sami broods. Rafe says for all they knew the kidnapper was never going to return Sydney. Sami says she's just trying to do what's right but thinks Rafe is making this all about himself. We hit critical mass and Sami has a total meltdown, "How am I supposed to believe in you?"

Stephanie and Nathan smooch across their table. She tells him she's going to the big wedding. Nathan understandably doesn't want to go. He also decides they don't need to let Phillip and Melanie know they are dating. Stephanie agrees. Kiss.

Julie says she thinks Hope has decided what she wants, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Probably jump into bed with Justin."

Melanie and Vivian are at the Java Café. They cackle about the dress as Carly comes in. Carly sees them and revs up her own personal apocalypse, "GET YOUR PAWS OFF HER OR I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!" Can someone please remind me what part of the Hippocratic Oath that comes from? Hmmm... those crickets get yet another workout.

Carly pops back to reality. She just stands there and stares at Vivian and Melanie.

EJ tells Anna Sami blames Rafe for all this, "She's turning away from him and trusting me."

"She never has been very bright," says Anna, "So you basically just handed over five million dollars to the feds and that was your brilliant plan? I thought that money was for me."

"I never said that."

So when do I get mine," she asks.

"Patience," says EJ.

"I'm starting to run out."

"Cultivate more," says EJ, "Your every need is taken care of. What more do you want?"

"Bora Bora."

"Bloody Bora."

"You're right," she says, "This episode was bloody boring. But, EJ, it's starting to look like you're not going to give that little girl back." The dreadful, sinister music swells.

"Tell me I'm wrong," says Anna.

"I'm not telling you anything."

Rafe lectures Sami for going outside the system. Sami becomes a one-woman demolition crew, "You don't always know what's best. You're not always right. You're not God, not psychic AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN SYDNEY'S FATHER!" She runs off.

How about that. The episode started with someone getting sliced to ribbons and ended with someone getting sliced to ribbons.

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