The Most Hateful Bastard On The Face Of The Earth

Chloe holds Parker as Daniel comes into the apartment. Chloe stares. Daniel stares. It's not exactly a Kodak moment, unless you're a reporter for the Salem Tattler.

Brady reacts to the news that Nicole is marrying EJ, "Holy crap."

Vivian points out that Brady and Nicole are, "still having their way with each other, as it were."

Victor informs Maggie Phillip is the Parker's father. Maggie can't wait to get this lollapalusa to her bridge club. Victor is upset that Caroline played God with his family, "Everyone knows that’s my job."

Daniel tells Chloe about Caroline's stroke and says he wants to hold Parker. Don't drag me into this," says Parker, "I just got here." Chloe fakes to the halfback and hands him off to Daniel.

Melanie says, "I want to wake up and have someone say this is a nightmare." Phillip says he loves her and puts a hand on her shoulder.

POW!

Carly thinks Kayla is accusing her of causing Caroline's stroke. She reminds Kayla Caroline isn't innocent in this.

Melanie is on a rage roll, "Go to hell. We are done." Phillip insists they will never be done.

Daniel holds a picture and tosses it in the trash, "It's just you and me, Chloe. So talk. For once, tell me the truth."

Chloe insists she had no idea what Caroline did until today. Daniel says things are making a sort of sick sense, like the patient at St. Mary’s was her. Chloe admits it. She moves toward him. Daniel freaks, "DO NOT TOUCH ME!"

There isn't' much touching with Melanie and Phillip, either. Phillip tells her it was just once. Melanie screams, "I can't believe you just said that you disgusting womanizing creep!"

"There was a reason," says Phillip, "I thought you had betrayed me."

Oh, so it's my fault," says Melanie, "So you decided you had to have unprotected sex because of your undying love for me. Do you think I'm gonna buy this? No more lies! Just shut up and leave me alone."

Phillip consults the Guy Manual. Even that can't get him out of this one, though.

Brady claims Nicole marrying EJ doesn't upset him. Translation: it upsets him. He reminds her Sydney isn't her daughter and that won't change if she moves in with EJ. Nicole says she'll be satisfied if she can just be with Sydney. She says she loves Brady and things don't have to change between them. "Things will change," says Brady,"You're marrying the most hateful bastard on the face of the earth."

"We can keep doing what we're doing," says Nicole, "Two for the price of one... that's suits me."

EJ says Vivian it too kind to bring him this information. She sends her best to Johnny and leaves. EJ looks at the pictures and slams them on the table.

Maggie admits Caroline made a bad decision but says this is all Clhoe's fault. Victor says Caroline, Clhoe and Carly, The Three "C's" of deception are responsible.

Nicole says she knows EJ will think those pictures are doctored, "So that gives us time to figure things out." She moves in and shows him how to start figuring.

Kayla defends Caroline. Carly knows Kayla won't change her mind about this. Kayla tells her she's right.

Melanie backs Phillip off. Can you imagine? She's not buying the fact he slept with Chloe because he loves her. Phillip gets a text from Bo, "Tell her you thought it was her. It works for me every time." Phillip snivels and begs. Melanie says she feels sorry for Parker, "His daddy may have a lot of money, but he has no soul."

"Usually money makes up for having no soul," says Phillip.

Chloe says, "After my hysterical pregnancy I wasn't in my right mind." Or before, either. Daniel goes into a rage worthy of Sami Brady. Chloe continues to try to defend herself, "Tell me you understand I believed all that."

"You were supposed to believe in me," screams Daniel, "And I know you were tricked."

Chloe asks if he can ever forgive her. Nope. Negatory. Nosiree.

Daniel gets quiet and contemplative. He remembers all the times the wedding was on and off and wonders if she was waiting for a paternity test. She says she wasn't but it was because she was trying to talk Carly out of blabbing, but eventually Carly agreed to keep the secret if the baby was Daniel's. Daniel wonders if this is why Father Matt was reluctant to marry them. He also wonders if she confided in Nicole, "So all these people knew but they kept it from me?" Yeppers.

Phillip agrees Parker deserves better than him for a father. Melanie says, "Then it's a good thing I'm not pregnant." Translation: I wonder how far along she is. Phillip tells her if he loses her he'll lose everything. In reality that means he must not have a whole lot, "Do you still love me."

Melanie sniffs, "BAWL... yes."

Nicole is back with EJ and says she thinks his proposal is a great idea. She agrees to marry him. EJ isn't as enthusiastic and he shows her the naughty pictures.

Carly and Kayla toss resentments at each other. Carly asks how Kayla knows so much about this. Kayla tells her to stay out of her life.

Melanie says she will always love Phillip, "But even if I could forgive you for what you did to me, how could I forgive you for what you did to my father."

Chloe says she knows Daniel still loves Parker Kiriakis. She totally falls apart and says they can still have a life together. She grabs him and plants a big one.

Kate finds Brady in the den, "I have had an epiphany. I think we're acting like fools and cowards." Fools and cowards and bears, Oh my! "Vivian is bebopping around Salem plotting against us while we sit here waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Brady says he gets it, "I just got a hell of an idea."

Nicole claims the pix are Photoshopped. She says Vivian already showed him those and that's why she wasn't shocked when he pulled them out. EJ says she has lied to him for the last time. Translation: The last time this hour.

Phillip says he realizes this is about more than him and Melanie, "It's about your father, too. But don't forget Daniel slept with Chloe when she was engaged to Lucas."

"Don't go there," says Melanie, "My dad is a good, honest low-thario. He and Maggie are all I have left in the world." She stomps out.

Daniel pushes Chloe away and tells her not to do that again. Too many times, that is. He leaves as Chloe begs him not go go and tosses her last shred of self respect out the window.

Maxine tells Kayla they're starting rehab on Caroline. Kayla follows her to Caroline's room. Victor comes up and asks Carly how she can live with herself.

Brady reminds Kate about Vivian poisoning her coffee all those years ago and leaving her for her fish slicing adventure.

EJ rages about Nicole bringing Brady home. Nicole says she loves Sydney but needs to be loved, too. EJ says she will suffer the consequences for what she did.

Carly reminds Victor his entire life has been a travesty. "Good thing Bo left you to rescue his wife," says Victor, "At least he's finally gotten a little class."

Melanie wheels her suitcase out. As she opens the door, Daniel stands there. He tells her he knew Phillip was unfaithful, but didn't realize it was with Chloe. Likewise, Melanie knew Chloe was unfaithful, but didn't know it was with Phillip. She doesn't want Daniel pointing out no stinkin' silver linings in this situation, either, "because there isn't one."

Phillip shows up at Chloe's place. Chloe says she doesn't want him there when Daniel comes back. "He's not coming back," says Phillip, "And Melanie isn't coming back to me."

Nicole asks EJ to hear her out. EJ isn't in a listening mood.

Nicole asks to see Sydney one last time, but EJ says she is napping, so Nicole starts to sulk out. EJ stops her and says he's giving her one last chance to choose. Translation: It may be her last chance, but you can bet it's not her last last chance.

Chloe insists Daniel is coming back to her. Daniel says he's there to see his son. "Tyler isn't here," says Chloe.

Melanie says Phillip and Clhoe don't deserve to have Parker. Suddenly she realizes Daniel is legally Parker's father, "Take Parker away from them."

Brady and Kate reconnoiter at the pub. Brady tells her Victor has many private islands and one is so small and insignificant it's uninhabited. "Not for long," says Kate. I'll bet its name is Sikairik.

Nicole is skeptical, but George Bush the elder comes into the room and announces, "Read my lips... This is the kinder, gentler EJ DiMera."

EJ says she has to choose between marrying him or being with Brady. He moves in on her gives her his best seductive voice and grabs her butt... then yanks her cell phone out of her back pocket. He tosses the phone at her, "Either call Brady or get out."


Previews
========

Phillip tells Chloe, "Everything is different now."

Melanie flings a picture.

Sami says to EJ and Nicole, "She's a total lowlife bitch." Nicole flings her drink at her.

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Rumpy Pumpy

Longtime St. Luke's handyman Dwayne Pipe and his young, enthusiastic trainee Igor Beaver haul the large piece of equipment into the church narthex and begin to set it up. Assisted by his surly right-hand man Keith Myath, Dwayne lugs the big fan into the center of the room as Igor plugs it in. Keith flips the switch and the massive blades begin to whirl. Once the fan picks up speed, the remaining crew members York Rapp, Harly Workin and Chuck Depou each grab a big shovelful of the fresh pile of cow manure sitting behind the fan. At the appointed moment, the boys bring their shovels into position and...

At the same time the sanctuary doors open. The entire christening party stands there as Kayla shouts at Caroline, "YOU'VE GOT TO TELL EVERYONE THAT DANIEL IS NOT THE FATHER OF CHLOE'S BABY!"

SPLAT!

The poo hits the fan and the fun begins.

Vivian is in the den with Gus talking about Brady and Nicole having "rumpy pumpy" at the DiMera mansion without closing the curtains. Vivian plots her revenge as Brady walks in and challenges her.

Nicole can't believe EJ proposed. He confirms it. Nicole thinks he's funnin' her, but EJ assures her he's on the level.

Chloe asks what Caroline and Kayla are doing. Daniel asks for clarification. Clhoe insists the pair have no idea what they are talking about. Daniel insists on an explanation.

Daniel's voice shakes as he asks Maggie to take Parker from him. Phillip and Chloe protest. Melanie quivers. Daniel demands an explanation. Phillip tries to get Caroline out, but she just about puts him in need of another artificial body part. "It's the truth Daniel," says Caroline.

"Who is the father," asks Daniel.

Caroline points at Phillip. Chloe gasps.

Vivian asks to speak to Brady alone. Gus leaves. Vivian tells him he's a vodka soaked loser and can't be a Don Quixote saving his Dulcenea. Brady hands her an envelope.

Nicole says it's never dull with EJ around. He says he's not proposing a conventional marriage, but more or less an arrangement. She will get to be Sydney's mother, however. And Johnny's. With EJ there, she'd have three children to take care of. He says what's in it for him is symmetry.

"In other words, I complete you," says Nicole.

"I suppose you do."

Nicole wonders what he is up to.

Phillip gets nasty with Caroline. He and Victor wonder if she's just trying to get even with Victor for his past sins. Caroline grits her teeth and spits it all out, "I know, because I changed the paternity test results myself."

Chloe insists it's not true. "Chloe had the test because she was unfaithful with Phillip."

"You mean she even cheated on him, too? She's right, isn't she," asks Daniel. "ISN'T SHE?" He heads for Phillip...

WHAM!

Brady has photoshopped the photos of Nicole and him. "Are you trying to prove Nicole is more of a whore than she really is," asks Vivian. Brady says he's going to show them to prove she phonied up the pictures. He tells Vivian she's been beaten at her own game.

Nicole plops into a chair and says EJ has swept her off her feet. She goes for a drink and EJ orders her to stop, "You get to be Sydney's mother and all I ask is that you be an exemplary mother. You have to stop drinking and screwing around."

"You're hard to resist when you talk so sweet," says Nicole.

A gal in the audience yells, "And he's hard to resist anytime."

Nicole thinks this is about EJ trying to drive Sami crazy.

Dan attacks Phillip, "I told you I'd kill you!"

Melanie grabs him and tells him not to do anything stupid, for a change, "Do not make me go through this alone."

Phillip begs. Melanie ignores. Daniel turns on the rage afterburners. Phillip suggests they take it outside. He'll be lucky to live until he gets outside.

Daniel pontificates about being in the house of God. Phillip insists it isn't true, but Daniel tells him to be a man about it. Carly has to restrain him. Melanie goes for Clhoe and accuses Carly of knowing this the whole time.

Daniel asks if Carly knew. Carly wants to be left alone. She swears she didn't know who the father was. To cut to the chase, Daniel and Melanie figure out that everyone knew everything — except them, of course. Phillip's pants burst into flame as he continues to insist he couldn't possibly be the father.

Caroline swoons.

Brady tells Vivian she screwed up and he leaves. Vivian tries to convince herself she can handle EJ.

Nicole asks, "What about the money?"

EJ says she never changes, but she’ll be looked after nicely, "If I die, however, you get nothing. You have a decision to make."

Caroline gets worse. "Somebody call a doctor," Daniel, Kayla and Carly scream in unison. Caroline continues to have a meltdown.

Nicole says, "I don't see us as soul mates." Cellmates, maybe. EJ gives her until the end of the day to make up her mind. He leaves. Nicole turns on the waterworks, "What is Brady going to say?"

Vivian says she's heading for Chez DiMera.

Caroline has completely collapsed and is lying on a pew. Kayla tries to comfort her. Comforting — she can do that... giving her medical attention is out of Kayla’s league.

Phillip and Victor leave. Victor lectures him and says he can't believe Phillip did this, "I thought you had grown up and started using your brain instead of your..."

"With me they're one in the same," says Phillip.

Melanie comes out. Phillip calls for her. "Phillip, go somewhere... like hell," says Melanie. Carly comes out, chases Phillip off and swears she didn't know it was Phillip. "You never lie, do you," asks Melanie.

Nicole guzzles booze. Her phone rings and she picks up. Brady asks her to come to the pier. Nicole says she's got news.

Kayla fills Dr. Ben in on the details of what happened to Caroline. Ben asks, "Does she have a history of TIA's."

"No," says Kayla, "Just FIM's."

"FIM's?"

"Foot in mouths."

"Knowing you, I'd say it must be hereditary," says Ben.

Ben goes into Caroline's room and Daniel tells him he can’t be involved in the case. Daniel comes out into the waiting area. Kayla says, "I am so sorry." Daniel walks off.

Back in the sanctuary Carly offers to take Melanie home. Melanie says that's an awkward suggestion, "I'm not really sure where home is. I could come back to your place and we could catch up on all the things you've been lying about. In the last 20 minutes I've lost my husband, my brother and Caroline might die. Who knows what will happen to Caroline. You're really not my top priority right now."

Clhoe is on the phone with Maggie. She says she'll be home in a few minutes. Phillip finds her and Chloe huffs out.

Victor worries Bo might find out about Caroline and try to visit her, "You know what an idiot he is." Phillip wonders what they can do next.

Victor asks, "Why Chloe?"

Phillip asks, "Have you seen those knockers?" He explains how everything happened.

Victor lectures, "You were an imbecile. You are tied to that slut forever. Have you ever heard of a condom? Your priority needs to be Melanie." Victor stomps off.

Ben tells Kayla Caroline is stable. "A stable is where she belongs," says Kayla, "Her mouth is as big as a horse's."

Melanie broods. She says she thought having a family would make her problems go away but all it did was give a bunch of people a way to hurt her. She asks Carly to leave her alone. Carly sulks off. Phillip comes in with 'guilt' written all over his artificial face.

Nicole meets Brady at the pier. He tells her Vivian is planning to take the pictures to EJ. He says he thinks Vivian won't want to shove them in front of EJ with what's going on with Johnny and that will buy them some time. Nicole drops the proposal bomb.

Vivian shows up at the DiMera mansion. She hands EJ a giant teddy bear for Johnny as she walks in, "I am so fond of Stefano, I felt a responsibility to tell you that you've been had." She hands him the pictures, "Nicole and Brady have made quite the fool of you." EJ peeks at the pix.

Maggie finds Victor at the hospital. He tells her Caroline had a stroke and that what she said at the church is true, "Phillip is the father." Maggie has her own private stroke and wonders why Caroline got into this. Victor tells her Caroline changed the results, "She said she did it so another Kiriakis couldn't ruin another life. She did this out of hatred for me. I don't know if I want her to survive."

A nurse tells Carly Caroline had a good kind of stroke. Ask Caroline if she thinks it was a good stroke.

Kayla tells Carly this is her fault.

Back at the church, Melanie spits fire at Phillip, "How could you do this?"


Previews
========

Brady says to Nicole, "You're marrying the most hateful bastard on the face of the planet."

Dan confronts Chloe. "For once, tell me the truth."

Melanie wails at Phillip, "Just shut up and leave me alone."

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Standing By To Renounce Satan

Sami and Nicole trade wisecracks and insults as per yesterday until Sami loses it and...

ARE YOU READY TO RRRUUUMMMBBBLLLEEE???

Ladies and gentlemen, for the WCA* world champeenship, in this corner, weighing... well, we don't divulge that... Miss Sami "The Sniveler" Brady Hernandez, vs. Nicole "Misty Circle" Walker! And they're off...

EJ walks up and soaks it all in, "Wow! This is better than those stag movies Father and I were watching last night."

*World Catfight Association

Kayla and Caroline are still going at it in the pub. You've heard it all before. Kayla thinks Caroline should blab. Caroline thinks Kayla should shut up. Kayla is shocked to find out no one knows the paternity test secret, "You didn't tell anyone you switched the paternity tests."

Back in the foreign land known as church, Phillip gushes over Parker and says Daniel and Chloe belong together, "I'm sure Daniel doesn't mind sloppy seconds twelfths."

Carly and Daniel also talk about Parker as Victor gets a call and excuses himself. Melanie and Maggie talk about the sadness of having Bo and Hope missing and the possibilities of additional babies in the future.

Rafe tells Victor over the phone he's calling to keep him out of jail.

Back at the hospital, World War III continues...

Kayla and Caroline are doing pretty well staging their own world war, too.

Chloe gets off the phone with Father Matt and tells everyone he'll be later than he thought. Well, everyone decides they can stay. "The godparents are standing by to renounce Satan whenever Father Matt gets here," says Phillip.

Daniel thanks everyone for coming and gets all mushy about it.

No mushiness at the hospital... Orderlies pull the contestants apart. EJ watches.

OK, guess what Caroline and Kayla are arguing about. Adrienne comes in and has a happy reunion with Kayla. "Kayla has come back to put us all back on the path of righteousness," says Caroline. Adrienne announces she knew about the big switcheroo, too.

Stephanie and Nathan are on the plane... in first class, contemplating joining the mile-high club.

Rafe says the state police have made finding Bo and Hope their first priority and will be all over anyone who tries to help them. He says he knows Victor has his men out looking for them and should be careful. Victor is noncommittal.

The crowd at the church continues to wait. Not that Chloe is uncomfortable to be in church, but she bursts into flame and pukes green bile. Chloe asks Daniel to take some time off and go somewhere. Just the three of them. Victor returns. Maggie joins him and he tells her there was no news about Bo and Hope. Neither of them can believe Bo and Hope would leave Ciara behind. Maggie is sure Victor would rather be out helping them.

The orderlies hold Sami and Nicole back as they continue to scream at each other. Nicole settles down but Sami continues her meltdown and the orderlies call for security to bring restraints.

Kayla continues to be holier than thou. Well, holier than everybody, actually. Adrienne and Caroline gang up on her.

Melanie and Phillip kid about names for their baby. If it's a boy Melanie wants to name him Phillip. Since Parker is taken by another of Phillip's sons.

Maggie tells Carly Victor hasn't heard anything about Bo and Hope. She thinks Carly must feel alone right now. "I have Melanie," says Carly.

"It doesn't get more lonely than that," says Maggie.

Victor waxes eloquent about holding Daniel at his christening. He goes totally maudlin and patches things up a bit with Chloe. Everyone sings Kubayah as Father Matt walks in.

Phillip says, "Time to get this show on the road, Parker."

Parker says, "Yeah... if you call DOOL a show."

Nicole licks her wounds as EJ comes up. He says Sydney has a clean bill of health and asks what happened to Nicole. Nicole says she bumped into Sami. Several times... over and over... well, mainly she bumped into Sami's fist, "She went postal." EJ thinks Nicole should press charges. Nicole sloughs it off, but EJ insists.

Rafe interrupts a phone call with Roman as they haul in Slammin' Sami. Sami tells him about Nicole, "We have to do something."

Stephanie flashes back to arguing with Kayla and telling her if Melanie finds out, she’ll run to Nathan. Nathan wonders if problem-plagued Chloe will make a good mom. He says it bothers him that Chloe cheated on Daniel, "She doesn't deserve Daniel." Stephanie asks he can forgive her.

The christening gets going for Parker Daniel.

Meanwhile, Stefano plays with himself... uh, I mean plays chess with himself, as EJ comes in.

Rafe lectures Sami for attacking Nicole in public, "It would be better if you beat the crap out of her where there are no witnesses," he says, "The only reason you haven’t been arrested is you're related to half the police force and sleeping with the other half." Nicole storms in and demands Sami go to jail.

Kayla... Caroline... Adrienne... sameo, sameo. Adrienne gets a call and leaves. Caroline and Kayla continue to whine at each other. "I just don't know how much more we can take," says Caroline.

"Neither do we," scream the viewers.

Father Matt continues...

EJ tells Stefano what happened at the hospital. Stefano says all this confirms Sami is mentally unstable. "Not possible," says EJ, "Being mentally unstable requires a mind." He suggests he can manipulate Sami into doing this over and over.

Nicole tells Rafe Sami attacked her and it took two orderlies to pull her off. Nicole claims it was all Sami's fault. "Looks like a case of 'she said... she said,'" concludes Rafe.

Kayla and Caroline have settled down and are sitting together. In some circles this is known as the lull before the storm.

Nathan says he can't judge Chloe. "I grew up without a dad and had a great mom. I know it was hard for her and don't know if Chloe is up to it," he judges.

EJ says he has another plan... he'll destroy Sami's self control and watch her self destruct. Stefano tells him not to underestimate Samantha. EJ says he'll use her tenacity against her. Stefano counsels caution, but EJ insists Sami will fall apart, if she has any parts left.

Rafe says he'll arrest Nicole if she presses charges against Sami. Nicole backs off, but threatens to have Sami arrested if she attacks her again, then stomps out.

Caroline and Kayla rev the argument up again. Caroline says she has examined her conscience and found she doesn't have one. She storms off and Kayla whines to herself.

Father Matt baptizes Chloe's Rosemary's baby.

Sami thanks Rafe, "Nicole makes me so mad I can't even talk."

"Don't I wish that were true," says Rafe. He tells her it won't be like this forever. Sami admits she blew it and it won't happen again. Translation: Tickets for the rematch go on sale tomorrow.

Nicole tells EJ what happened at the cop-shop. EJ thinks it went well and thinks Nicole has put Sami on notice she can't mess with her.

Back on the plane Nathan sorts through the souvenir revealing TSA pictures of Stephanie and tells her eventually lies catch up with you.

Sami thinks she can "go all zen" and distance herself from Nicole. Even Rafe sees through that one. Sami has another meltdown and starts throwing things. Rafe snaps her out of it and tells her to think about her kids, "Just breathe..."

"BREATHE," screams Sami, "That's your advice? EJ will kick Nicole out. I know it."

EJ says he has something he wants Nicole to do, "I want you to marry me."

Father Matt continues the ceremony as Kayla and Caroline arrive at the church. The doors to the sanctuary swing open so everyone can hear as Kayla screams, "You have got to tell Daniel that he is not the father of Chloe's baby."

Previews
========
Nicole asks EJ, "The question is, why me? What are you up to?"

Vivian says, "I can handle EJ DiMera."

Dan attacks Phillip, "I told you I'd kill ya!"

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Your Arrogant Self

Sami putters around the Hernandez Hovel as Rafe comes in and gushes about the great job she did putting Christmas together for the rest of her brood. Speaking of brooding, Sami remembers sneaking over to the DiMera mansion, standing there pathetic and shivering as Nicole had Christmas with Johnny and Sydney. She starts to tell all to Rafe, but he stops her and says he already knows about it.

Nicole plays with Sydney in the rumpus room. EJ strolls in and says Johnny had a rough night. Nicole reminds him she'd do anything to be with Sydney. EJ says Sydney has an appointment with an eye doctor for a precaution and asks her to take Sydney there. Nicole agrees and EJ says he'll meet her at the hospital, but then she remembers Chloe's baby's christening is this morning. EJ gets nasty and says he'll get Mary to take her instead.

Daniel walks in with Parker. Chloe tells him her faith is really important to her. It really meant something both times she actually went to church.

Stephanie and Caroline talk about Stephanie and Nathan moving to Baltimore. Caroline tells Stephanie she did the right thing by clamming up. Anytime Stephanie clams up it's the right thing.

Nathan pops up to the nurses' station and Maxine wishes him luck on his new adventure. She leaves and Melanie comes up and asks, "What are you going to do in Baltimore?"

"Stephanie."

Phillip comes into the Kiriakis den and Victor says he wants to talk to him about being Parker's godfather. Phillip says he knows the responsibilities, but Victor adds to his laundry list, "You may have to step in and be his father. Are you ready for that?"

Stephanie reiterates she won't tell. "Your mom is halfway across the world and no one will know now," says Caroline. Stephanie turns to leave. Caroline smiles.

Kayla calls Patch from the Salem airport saying she can't wait to surprise the family.

Godmother Carly comes in. Daniel smells something and goes to change the diapers. He decides to change Parker's while he's at it. Carly encourages Chloe to keep her chin up since Daniel is Parker's father.

Nathan tells Melanie he and Stephanie are flying out today to find an apartment. "I'll miss your arrogant self," says Melanie.

"I'll miss your big fat mouth," says Nathan. They hug as Stephanie watches.

Nicole tells EJ Chloe is her only friend. EJ says Sydney has to be Nicole's first priority. "Fine, your majesty, I will cancel with Chloe," says Nicole, "Nothing is more important to me than Sydney." She takes Sydney and heads out.

Rafe says he figured out what Sami was up to when she left church. He says he's not mad, "EJ is being a tool."

"Well," says Sami, "He certainly has the IQ of a garden tool, especially now that he only has half a brain." Sami laments the fact she didn't get to be with her kids on Christmas Eve, and the fact that Nicole was there, "Johnny is recovering and I can't (say it with her) be there for him. I couldn't get through it without you either. I have to take Allie to the hospital for her appointment." Rafe says there is nothing to worry about. He'd go but he has to meet with Roman about Bo and Hope. They smooch and Rafe tells her to stay out of trouble. "What possibly could go wrong," asks Sami. Translation: "What could possibly go right?"

Victor tells Phillip about his adventures being Daniel's godfather. He urges Phillip to think about his responsibilities. Phillip assures him he'll be fine. Victor says the lecture's over. Phillip tells him he hopes he's as good a godfather as Victor has been. Maggie walks in.

Stephanie joins Nathan and Melanie. Melanie wishes them well and says she has to go to the christening. Stephanie asks if all is well with Daniel and Chloe. Melanie says she didn't blab, "Why would I want to ruin all they have?"

"Because you're you."

Stephanie and Nathan leave. Melanie stares.

Roman is with Caroline. She wonders why Bo would help Hope. Roman dunno. Rafe comes in and tells them Sami's under stress. Caroline says, "Johnny needs his mother."

"He needs an eye worse," says Roman.

"The next time EJ comes in I'm lacing his chowdah with rat poison," says Caroline.

"How is that different from your old recipe," asks Roman.

Rafe tells them about Sami sneaking over to the DiMera mansion to see her kids. They can't believe how pathetic that is.

Sami and Allie bustle into the waiting area to find Nicole and Sydney.

Maggie says Chez Rouge is catering a reception at the Kiriakis mansion for the christening and she's there to check things out. She invites Phillip to move back in to her place. Victor offers to move in instead. Phillip leaves. They both commiserate about the crappy Christmas they just had. Maggie asks if Vivian served her famous fruitcake.

"When Vivian is around there is no need for additional fruitcake," says Victor. She asks about Vivian living there with all of them. Victor wonders if living alone is dull for Maggie. Maggie sidesteps and asks if Victor can do anything about Bo and Hope.

Chloe gets off the phone and says Nicole can't make the christening. Daniel wonders if that's a bad thing.

Kayla peers into the pub and walks in.

Allie goes to say hi to Sydney. Nicole tells Sami Sydney is there to get her eyes examined. With any luck, Sami and Nicole are there to get their heads examined.

Nicole refuses to let Sami hold Sydney. She stomps off and Allie wants to know why. Sami tells her it's complicated. Of course to Sami a light switch is complicated.

Melanie and Phillip arrive at Daniel and Chloe's. Daniel gives Phillip a knowing nod and shakes his head. Phillip assures Carly Victor has his men on the case and nothing will happen to Bo and Hope.

"And," says Melanie, "I am (say it with her) here for you."

Stephanie and Nathan are back at the pier to take one last look at the bodies floating by. Stephanie tells him her home is wherever he is and Melanie isn't.

Roman says he doesn't trust the state cops. Kayla bops in. "What happened to Bo and Hope," asks Kayla.

Caroline gasps, "Kayla! What are you doing here?"

Chloe announces she can't get Parker into his gown. Parker screams from the bedroom, "I ain' wearin' no dress!" Melanie and Carly rush in to help. Phillip tells Daniel about Victor's godfather lecture, "I'm gonna (say it with him) be there for Parker." Daniel says Phillip needs to remember his generosity was a one-time offer.

"I understand," says Phillip, "The next time I fool around, I'll be more careful."

The girls walk out. Melanie says to Daniel, "When Parker grows up, you're not allowed to tell Parker he went to his first christening in drag." She hands Parker to Phillip.

Everyone welcomes Kayla. Roman gives her the newspaper so Kayla can read all about Bo and Hope. He says he's taken a leave of absence and Rookie Rafe is acting commander.

Lexie and EJ come into an exam room. Lexie tells him to stop worrying. EJ worries. Lexie asks, "How's Johnny doing?"

"Not as bad off as me," says EJ, "I'm blind in one eye and can't see out of the other." Lexie wonders if there's some hanky panky going on with Nicole at the DiMera mansion.

Sami asks Maxine for a new patient questionnaire. Maxine gives it to her. Nicole walks up and says they took Sydney for a scan. Sami gets gnarly about Sydney going through it without her mom. They argue, "If you hadn’t shot EJ I wouldn't be the only mother your kids have," says Nicole. She tells Sami she's living with EJ again.

Clhoe wheels Parker into the sanctuary. Father Matt wonders if Chloe has told Daniel about the "problem with Phillip."

Chloe asks, "If I'm not in a state of Grace does that mean you won't baptize my child?"

Rafe and Roman start to head back to work. Kayla says she's glad Roman and Caroline are on good terms. Roman wonders why they wouldn't be. Caroline has a stroke and Roman leaves. Caroline tells Kayla about Stephanie and Nathan leaving and suggests Kayla call Stephanie. Kayla wants to talk to Caroline first. For the first time in a long time, Caroline isn't in a talking mood.

EJ says there is nothing going on between Nicole and him. He says Nicole paid for what she did and is good with Sydney, "Sami is not part of the equation. I make the decisions for my children."

Sami says Nicole made a fool out of EJ and he wouldn't take her back. Nicole says they aren't together in that way. Nicole starts talking about caring about Johnny and Sydney. Sami tells her to shut her mouth, "Or I will shut it for you."

The audience chants, "CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!"

Stephanie and Nathan languish in bed. Nathan says, "I'll spend all the Days Of Our Lives making you happy."

Father Matt says, "It's not Parker's fault his mom is a damn 'ho, so of course I'll baptize him." He leaves to go to the hospital. As he goes, Clhoe tells him she'll wait for him. The crowd walks in and Chloe says Father Matt will be back.

Caroline keeps changing the subject. Kayla wants to know how everyone reacted when they found out Phillip was the father.

Roman is surreptitiously on the case. "I just want to (say it with him) be there for Bo and Hope," he says, "And I can't believe Sami finally married someone I like." He leaves. Rafe checks his phone and wonders if it's a good thing he hasn't heard from Sami.

Nicole says she's in Sydney's life thanks to Sami. Sami says soon Nicole will be on the outside looking in with EJ. Nicole insinuates Rafe will get tired of Sami. Sami snorts, "I ain' takin' no stuff from a porn star!"

Nicole counters by wondering how Johnny and Sydney will take it when they figure out Sami shot their dad. That does it...

KA-POW!

It's a rolling, screaming, hair-pulling, knock-down-drag-out catfight! The girls bounce across the room gouging, biting and girl-slapping each other as EJ comes up and soaks it all in. "All we need," thinks EJ, "is a little mud and a couple of bikinis."


Previews
========

Kayla says to Caroline, "You didn't tell anyone you switched the paternity tests."

Phillip says, "Time to get this show on the road, Parker."

EJ tells Stefano, "She's going to self-destruct."

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Bah! Humbug!

We pan down to the Horton bulbs form a picture of Tom and Alice. Maggie, Doug. Jennifer and Julie try to cheer Ciara up but Ciara announces she doesn't believe in Santa.

Meanwhile the most phlegmatic Santa you've ever seen visits Johnny. Santa gives him a matador transformer. Ranta says Johnny's mom told him he wanted it and that she misses him. Santa says Rafe misses Johnny, too.

"Tell Rafe he's not fooling anyone in that white beard and red suit," says Johnny.

Lexie tells EJ Johnny is going home.

Sami, Will and Gabi are at the Hernandez Hovel. she calls the hospital to ask about Johnny. She gets Stephanie, but Stephanie no can tell per EJ's orders.

Lexie has EJ sign the release forms as Kate walks up. They tell her about the eyeballectomy and Kate is soooooo sorry.

Santa Hernandez comes out and bumps into Santa Brady. They have a staredown. Great minds think alike," says Brady. Apparently bird brains think alike, too. The pair decides to get while the gettin' is good.

"I had cancer and now I'm cancer free," says Kate.

"I got shot and now I'm brain free," says EJ. He leaves.

Kate gives Lexie a present for Theo even though she and Stefano are on the outs. Stefano walks up.

Stephanie says she could get in a lot of trouble but tells Sami they are releasing Johnny. Sami hangs up, sighs and tells Will and Gabi the news. She vows to get Johnny back, "I am not gonna rest until I get Sydney and Johnny back here." "I hope you've got a lot of No-Doz," says Will.

At the Kiriakis mansion, Vivian bustles with Christmas stuff as Victor comes in growling into the phone. "You forgot to say bah, humbug," says Vivian. She reminds him if he had helped her get rid of Carly Hope wouldn't be in prison. Vivian has her painting there and Victor says the painter didn't capture the viciousness. He suggests she disappear. Vivian pouts.

Santa Brady finds Nicole and suggests she sit on his lap and tell him what she wants.

Ciara says she doesn't believe in Santa because her mommy and daddy won't be home for Christmas. Jennifer tells her they'll be home soon. If there's any significance to the date it'll probably be April Fools' Day.

Sami finishes wrapping a present for Johnny as beardless Santa Rafe comes in and tells her he visited Johnny. Sami tries to keep a stiff upper lip. Rafe gives Sami a kiss and it ain't his upper lip that's stiff.

Vivian announces dinner as Victor computes. It seems no one is there with them because no one wants to spend Christmas eve with her.

Lexie sees Stefano and runs like a frightened bunny rabbit. Stefano tells Kate giving a gift to Theo was thoughtful. He says he knows Johnny will be fine. Kate asks about Chad, but Stefano says that's none of her concern. Kate tells him to forget it and walks off.

EJ gives Lexie the release papers. Lexie suggests he tell Sami the good news. "Sami is destructive and needy," says EJ, "I am the only parent Johnny needs."

Sami comes in to find ornaments with her kids' pictures on them. Rafe made them and Sami loves them because they look just like the ones Johnny and Allie made in kindergarten.

Four adults can't outsmart Ciara. Try as they might, she still knows the score when it comes to Mommy and Daddy. Nathan and Stephanie arrive, but the adult-kids odds don't get any better.

Julie takes Doug aside and asks what they should do. Doug tells her what he'd like to do. "Besides that," gasps Julie. She suggests channeling Alice.

Will, Gabi, Rafe and Sami open presents. Will gives Gabi a present. She rips it open to find what looks like a camera. Will and Gabi give Sami a family picture. Sami uses that as an excuse to fall apart about the missing kids.

EJ, Nicole and Stefano come into the rumpus room. Johnny wonders if mommy is coming, too.

Sami and Rafe are down at the pier. He tells her he wants to give her something with no one around. "It's a little cold for that, isn't it," asks Sami.

They give each other a safehouse key. "Where we fell in love lust," says Rafe. He tells her the safehouse is on the market. Sami suggests going back to pay it a visit. Rafe says that would be like breaking and entering. "You still drive me crazy," says Rafe."

"It's a pretty short trip," says Sami.

Christmas dinner is over at Maggie's place. Nathan drops the big bomb, "I've decided to leave Salem."

Maggie says, "Gosh... and I thought Christmas was over."

Abe and Lexie arrive with Theo. Theo gives Ciara a stuffed dog just like his toy dog Charlie. Ciara has nothing for him in return, but all guys know that's just the way things go with women. The Guy Manual says so.

Maggie takes Stephanie and Nathan aside and says she can't believe they're leaving. Nathan tells her about Johns Hopkins. "If they've accepted you, they're not the prestigious institution they used to be," says Maggie. They all promise to stay in touch.

Lexie announces they have to leave for the DiMera mansion. Abe lectures Lexie for what EJ is doing to Sami.

Johnny wails for his mommy. Stefano tries to settle him down but Johnny ain' buyin' what Stefano is sellin'. Nicole steps in and talks Johnny out of his funk. She plays the "opening presents" card and takes him off to get one. EJ thanks her as Johnny tears into the wrapping.

Stefano steps out into the foyer and calls Chad. Chad doesn't want any part of him and hangs up. Stefano sighs, "Merry Christmas, son."

Julie wonders with Nathan leaving and Melanie gone if Maggie should get out and meet some new people. Maggie assures her she'll be fine. Julie asks if Maggie has thought about dating Victor. Maggie says Victor infuriates her, "It's been less than a year since I lost Mickey."

"Hardly," says Julie, "Mickey was always lost."

Maggie says in her private moments she's still grieving. Julie consoles her but says, "Mickey would want you to have some joy in life."

"How come he never wanted that when he was around," asks Maggie.

Doug asks Abe if he knows anything about Bo and Hope. Abe don' know nuthin'. He also doesn't know anything about Bo and Hope. He says he'll do what he can to keep them safe, but it's out of his hands, and leaves.

Julie tells Doug Abe's hands may be tied but her's aren't. She calls Victor to ask a favor, "I know your men are looking for Bo and Hope and I'm asking you to keep me informed." Victor agrees and asks Julie in return to wish Maggie a merry Christmas. She asks Maggie if she wants to talk to him. Maggie turns her down.

Kate comes into the den where the stockings are hung by the chimney with care. She finds a little box and opens it, "Whatever this is it had better involve diamonds." She opens it to find coal. If she waits long enough it could become a diamond.

Stefano announces it's time to open presents. The children squeal with delight. So do Johnny and Sydney. EJ asks Nicole to stay.

The Fearsome Foursome decorate the Horton tree. All the ornaments with names go up. Doug tells Julie she lifted everyone's spirits. "I might have to channel Alice more often," says Julie.

The Hernandez clan is in a strange place — church. Sami leaves as they read the Christmas story.

Victor asks Brady if he doesn't think he's had enough as Brady pours a drink. Brady says he can never have enough booze when Vivian is around. Kate and Vivian snipe at each other and Vivian leaves.

Theo reads the Christmas story. Stefano congratulates his abilities.

Lexie and Abe decide this hasn't been a terrible night. That's the what you
always want, isn't it. A non-terrible Christmas.

Back in church they all sing Silent Night...

Meanwhile, Sami sneaks up outside the rumpus room and looks in on the scene.

Doug and Julie put Johnny and Allie's bulbs on their tree and we pan to Alice's empty chair and then to her picture. Oh! The artistry!

Previews
========

Caroline gasps, "Kayla! What are you doing here?"

Sami tells Nicole, "If you think he's actually going to let you in Sydney's life, then you're dreaming."

EJ tells Lexie, "I make the decisions, okay?"

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Christmas, 2010

See You Around, Scrooge

We open up at Bo and Hope's sugar shack where our intrepid hero and heroine go catatonic after hearing a noise outside. "Do you think we were followed," asks Hope.

"No," says Bo, "and the snow has covered our tracks."

"Good," says Hope, "So 19th century fur trappers can't find us, but what about those helicopters with floodlights hovering overhead?"

"Nag, nag, nag," whines Bo as he gets up to leave, "All right, if it'll make you happy, I'll go out and check."

As Bo opens the door Hope calls to him, "Sweet-ums..."

"Yes, dear."

"Don't forget to take out the trash."

"Things never change," says Bo as he heads into the unknown.

Outside, Bo points his pistol, "Stop right there!"

Rafe calls Daniel and asks where Carly is. Carly stands behind Daniel.

We pan through the decorations at the Horton House.

Christmas riddle: What is the main characteristic of the Horton bulbs? Answer: They are all dim.

Jen talks to Alice's empty chair about the loneliness of the Holiday. Well, if you walk around talking to empty chairs, you'll probably be pretty lonely. Doug and Julie blast in to merry things up.

Phillip and Melanie are in the bedroom together. Shockingly, there are no Internet cameras around. Phillip provides the mistletoe and Melanie responds.

Nathan and Stephanie are at the pub. He's ready for Baltimore. Stephanie is ready to pout and brood.

Brady walks up and sees Nicole and EJ at Johnny's window. He makes a scene but EJ tells him he and Nicole are there together.

Daniel tells Rafe Carly is there, but can't come to the cop-shop. Rafe wants her statement. Carly takes the phone and Rafe tells her they have to find Bo and Hope before the state troopers do.

Leigh is with the warden. The warden tells her the troopers are closing in.

Outside the sugar shack...

KA-THUNK!

Phillip says he's sorry their first Christmas isn't so great. Maybe he should spend it with Chloe instead. He swears Vivian will soon be out on her butt. Melanie figures out something fun to do.

Stephanie has told Nathan about Bo and Hope's escape. She says Baltimore is out of the question, "Maybe we could just take a quick trip to Maryland instead."

Brady and Nicole fire up the arguing until EJ steps in and tells Brady to scram. He tells him Johnny has cancer. Brady tells him he's sorry to hear that and EJ leaves. Nicole tells Brady there is more and they have to talk, but later. It's so important they might even have to have their clothes on when they have the conversation.

Nicole goes in with EJ and says she's sorry he had to deal with Brady.

Jen and Julie hang bulbs and talk about all the family that isn't there. They decide they will make it through. "I've been thinking," says Jen.

"That could really spoil Christmas," says Julie.

they talk about the despair of Bo and Hope being on the run at Christmas. Julie thinks she should have figured out what they were going to do. Ciara walks in and announces Bo and Hope will surprise them by coming home for Christmas.

Daniel counsels Carly about her statement. Carly tries to be upbeat. Daniel wonders why Bo did what he did. Carly defends him as Rafe and Chloe walk in. Carly tells Rafe. "I'm gonna tell you everything I know — under one condition..."

Carly wants Rafe to do whatever he can to help Bo. Rafe agrees.

The warden tells Leigh their little side business has to be put on hold. If Hope comes back they will arrange for a suicide, "If she goes back with Bo, we won't have to do anything to arrange Bo's suicide."

Bo walks in as brilliant Hope prepares to whack him. She swings and misses. Bo says the noise she heard was him falling on his butt. That's why there is a big bump on his head, "At least I didn't shoot myself in the foot."

"If I were there I would have shot Kayla," says Hope. She's glad he's OK, though.

Phillip and Melanie bask in the afterglow and exchange I love you's. Phillip suggests staying in bed for Christmas. He turns on the radio for music, but

BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN!

They listen to the news about Bo and Hope.

Carly meets Rafe at the pier. He tells her Roman stepped down and he's in charge of the SPD. Carly says Bo kept her out of his plan because he knew she'd be questioned about it. She tells Rafe there were women dying in the prison, Hope reported it and that's what was causing all her trouble there. She also says Hope misspelled Ciara's name in the letter and that was the code that triggered Bo's actions.

Back at the sugar shack, Bo continues to play nursemaid. Hope goes in to change into something more revealing and Bo has to resist running out. Hope comes out in a football jersey and Bo remembers them romping at the Orange Bowl. That's something the 50,000 in attendance will never forget, either. Hope says even if they can prove what Leigh and the warden did, she'll still have to go back to prison.

Nicole wonders why EJ acts like that with Brady. EJ reminds her they are there to care for Johnny, not bicker. Nicole asks to step in and lay some tender loving care on Johnny herself. As she rambles about how her heart is broken, Stefano walks in and grumps on her, "I don't believe a word you say."

Julie bursts Ciara's balloon. She also tells her Bo and Hope might not be back for Christmas. Ciara says all she wants for Christmas is for her mommy and daddy to come home. Doug has her sit to watch TV and...

BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN!

Phillip rushes into the pub and finds Stephanie. They mention the Bo and Hope debacle and Phillip sees the brochures, "Are you and Nathan leaving town?"

"I don't know, is Baltimore out of town?"

Carly says it's hard to realize it's over with Bo, "Hope was his first real love. He'll do anything for her."

Hope worries that they are sitting ducks. Bo, however, has a plan.

Stephanie tells Phillip about Nathan's fellowship. Phillip thinks that's great and congratulates Nathan as he walks up. Phillip leaves.

Melanie arrives at Daniel and Chloe's place. They tell her Carly is staying with them and they all discuss Bo and Hope's escape. Daniel gets a call and leaves. Melanie thanks Chloe for letting Carly stay there, "It'll be really Christmasy with her, you and me here. You know... Ho, Ho, Ho."

Stefano lectures Nicole about her lies. EJ asks for a word with Stefano in private. Nicole scoots, "See you around, Scrooge."

Stefano reminds EJ Nicole is the enemy. EJ claims Nicole is the solution. He says the kids love her. Stefano doesn't want her around. EJ tells him with Nicole around he'll have all the help he needs, "Samanther is out!"

Brady tells Nicole he didn't like it when he saw her arms around EJ. Nicole tells Brady about the pictures Vivian took of them, and then shows him.

Brady says they have to make sure Vivian can't use the pix, "I'll find a way to clean this up. Meanwhile, I'll hang on to these naked pictures of you..."

Johnny wakes and that stops Stefano and EJ's argument. Nicole walks in and cheers Johnny up.

Doug, Julie and Jennifer aren't having as much luck with Ciara, but Ciara remains optimistic that Bo and Hope will come home.

Bo has found an old crank-up short wave radio. Since Hope is with him, that makes two old-cranks in the cabin. He says it has a police band and they'll be able to use it to see if there is any police activity in the area. He helps Hope into bed and encourages her to get some sleep.

Chloe says she's in love with her new family. Carly walks in. Chloe takes out the trash and Melanie asks Carly about her conversation with Rafe. Carly fights to keep from breaking down. She loses the battle.

Out in the hall Phillip runs into Chloe and she tells him Carly is staying with them. Phillip can't believe Bo would do this. He also tells her he talked to Stephanie and Nathan, "The last thing they're thinking about is us. In fact, they usually aren’t capable of thinking about anything."

Brady looks at the naked shots. And looks... and looks... and looks. He swears he won't let Vivian get away with this.

Nicole performs magic tricks for Johnny. She pulls a quarter from behind his ear and Johnny says he wants more. Nicole asks Stefano for a $50 bill. He gives it to her and Nicole makes it disappear by putting it into her purse. Johnny laughs. Stefano doesn't. EJ, however, seems somewhat amused.

Melanie insists nothing will ever come between her and Daniel and Chloe. Translation: You can kiss that family goodbye. Outside, Phillip tells Chloe Nathan and Stephanie are moving to Baltimore.

Back in the pub Nathan and Stephanie discuss whether they should move. They decide to do it. Nathan gives her a box with a crab jewel in it in commemoration of the condition he now has from sleeping with her.

The warden calls Rafe and tells him the State Police are handling the search. Rafe tells her the SPD is conducting its own investigation. The warden suggests he can call her in a couple weeks. Rafe hangs up, "Well, that woman is hiding something."

Ciara thinks Bo is off helping Santa bring Mommy home to her. She leaves for a cookie. Jennifer wonders what they can do. Doug is upbeat and quotes Alice, "Never underestimate the magic of Christmas."

Bo comes back into the sugar shack and covers Hope, "I'm gonna get you home so you can see your daughter, Fancy Face. Goodnight."

Previews
========

Nathan tells Maggie, "I've decided to leave Salem."

EJ tells Lexie, "I am the only parent that Johnny needs."

Sami tells Will and Gabi, "I am not gonna rest until I get Sydney and Johnny back here."

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Cat Got Your Tongue? Frog In Your Throat? Bird In Your Brain?

Bo returns to the cabin with the load of pine cones, berries and a dead raccoon he has collected for dinner. He sees Hope with the phone and nearly goes into cardiac arrest, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I told you not to do anything stupid."

"I'm watching old Bope scenes on YouTube," says Hope, "I can't believe how young I was when we first met. I weighed a bit more, too."

"Yeah," says Bo, "But with that weight came a rockin' set of honkers. What happened to that great set of headlights, anyway?"

"I switched from floodlights to LEDs," says Hope.

Roman and Rafe are at the cop-shop as the warden comes in and accuses Roman of being involved in the breakout.

Vivian shows Nicole the naughty pictures of her romp with Brady and threatens.

Brady calls, "Nicole I was doing some thinking..."

Maggie overhears, "When you start thinking is when the trouble starts. Why are you calling Nicole? I thought you broke up. What's going on?"

Stefano comes into Johnny's room and asks EJ to tell him everything. EJ tells. He also says he blames Samantha.

Chloe sits in the pub finishing wrapping presents. She's already farmed Parker out to Adrienne, who figures it might be best to let Daniel and Phillip think Daniel is the father.

Carly finds Daniel at the hospital. Daniel updates her on Johnny and wonders why she's not with Bo. Carly falls apart. Quick-minded Daniel senses something is wrong the instant Carly has her nervous breakdown.

Hope struggles and tells Bo she was going to call Ciara. She says he could still save himself by abandoning her. Tempting as that is Bo says, "You're wrong. You and I are gonna go through this together."

Vivian says, "Oh, the tangled web we weave, when Vivian Alamain we choose to peeve..." Nicole claims it's just an on and off thing with her and Brady. Vivian says she knows about Nicole's arrangement with EJ, that she has to dump Brady, "Wait till the DiMeras hear about this. What? Cat got your tongue? Frog in your throat? Bird in your brain?"

EJ rants about Sami's role in all this, "She did this to him."

Stefano doesn't get it, "You mean she did it by witchcraft?" EJ says no, but everything Sami touches turns to mud. She touched EJ, didn't she? "Never again will she see her children. If that makes me look heartless, I don't care."

"If makes you look like Satan himself," says Stefano.

Daniel says something to Carly most people won't dare say, "Talk to me." she doesn't. He drags her off.

Roman defends himself and says he's searching for Bo. Rafe tries to mitigate, "There must be a mistake."

The warden snorts, "Mistake? Are you stupid or just dumb?"

Rafe thinks it over, "Yes."

The warden shows them pictures of the escape. Rafe can't believe Bo did this, "That's a pretty sophisticated thing for him to pull off."

The warden wants results and she tells Roman she's calling the shots, "I will have my prisoner tonight."

Hope says she had a weak moment so she tried to call Ciara. Bo says he had a weak moment and helped Hope escape.

Brady tells Maggie what Vivian did. He says Victor and the Howelettes are all still living at the mansion and hoping they can get Vivian to court and get her evicted. Maggie rants that none of them are safe. Brady chuckles and says he knows Maggie is concerned about Victor. Maggie gets defensive about that.

Vivian is on the phone as Gus comes in. He says he found out where EJ is.

Nicole arrives at the DiMera mansion yelling for EJ. Mary tells her something terrible has happened.

Johnny stirs. Stefano tries to get EJ to leave for a minute to clear his mind. The part Sami didn't blow out, anyway. Finally, EJ kisses Johnny and leaves with Stefano.

Daniel and Carly arrive back at his place. Daniel pays Adrienne $2.50 for her five hours of babysitting and the generous guy gives her a $.50 cent tip. Adrienne leaves and a bulletin comes across the radio about Bo and Hope's breakout. Dr. Sherlock recognizes the fact that this news doesn't surprise Carly.

Roman says he's going to work with the warden. She says the state police won't help Roman because he'll pass information along to Bo, "You're out, Roman." She stomps out. Roman says he needs to talk to Rafe.

Adrienne finds Chloe at the pub. Chloe talks about what a great dad Daniel is and the blood drains from Adrienne’s face.

Carly says she knew Bo had to help Hope. She starts to leave, but Daniel encourages her to stay. He wonders why Bo did this. Carly says Bo knew he had to act. Daniel assumes when Bo gets the situation fixed he'll come home to Carly. To tell her goodbye.

Hope says she knows she's made mistakes and she apologizes. Bo apologizes for breathing, and says they need to focus on the job ahead of them. Getting to the point where they can stand each other.

Nicole calls Brady from the hospital. She leaves a message and finds EJ. She offers any assistance she can give. Vivian bustles up and introduces herself. She says she has to talk to him about the despicable wretch standing next to him —Nicole.

Adrienne claims nothing is wrong. A waitress comes up and announces the news about the breakout.

Bo serves tea and tells Hope they have to expose the warden, "Until then we concentrate on lying low and get this job done. Can do that?"

"Lying... yes," says Hope, "I don’t know about the 'low' part."

Carly says she loves Bo but doesn't think he's coming home to her, "I must be the first time that ever happened right? But I kept secrets from Bo, too."

Brady tells Maggie Vivian wants all the Sons of Sarcophagy to suffer.

Nicole tells Vivian to scram, but Vivian sidesteps her and tells EJ she's aware of his arrangement with Nicole and she has lied to him. "Is she faking another pregnancy," asks EJ.

Kate has sworn off cut-rate beauty treatments. She thought she was getting Botox, but it was Boroxo - a cross between Borax and Drano.

Stefano is in alone with Johnny, "Why... why..."

Because... because...

Vivian pulls out the pictures of Nicole and Brady, but EJ stops her and tells her his son just came out of surgery. Vivian didn't know. She clears her throat and sulks off. EJ tells Nicole to keep her trouble with Vivian away from his family. Nicole agrees and asks how Johnny is. EJ snorts, "Do me a favor... go away."

Brady calls Nicole and gets her voicemail, but somehow figures she's at the hospital and heads in that direction.

Roman tells Rafe he can't do his job so Rafe has to be the acting commander, after one day on the job, and jumping over all the other cops' seniority. Yep, this one will go to the union rep. Roman gets uncomfortable as he nearly begs Rafe to take the job.

Carly says she has done the same kind of things to Bo... and Daniel... she beats herself up. Daniel beats up on her for beating herself up. Carly continues her self flagellation and then falls apart and into Daniel's arms as Chloe comes in.

Daniel and Carly unwrap themselves from each other. Chloe wonders how Bo could do this. Parker cries and Daniel runs to take care of him. Carly tells Chloe not to get mad at Bo. "I know what you should do," says Clhoe.

Vivian is back at the Kiriakis mansion with Gus. He asks if her trip went according to plan.

EJ gives Nicole the brush off, but she begs him to wait and listen. She insists she loves Johnny, too, and gives a heart string tugging speech about how she knows this is tearing EJ up inside, "Cut Sami off, but not me. Please... how is he doing?"

"He's sleeping," whispers EJ, "They think the got all the cancer." EJ looks into the window and points out Johnny has love up to his eyeballs.

Rafe takes the job. Unemployed yesterday, commander today. Roman suggests they need to find Bo and Hope before anyone else does.

Leigh and the warden reconnoiter and discuss Hope's escape. "The best thing would be for Hope not to talk ever," says Warden Jane, "I talked to my friends at the State Police and they are all involved. I gave them my 'escapee needs to be an example' speech. If they find Bo and Hope they will kill them."

Bo figures the warden will go to the state Police. Suddenly they both think they hear a noise outside and gasp in unison.

Clhoe tires to convince Carly to spend the night with her and Daniel. Carly resists, but Daniel comes in and Clhoe makes the announcement. Daniel begs Carly to stay. Carly says yes. It's not the first time Carly has given in to Daniel's begging.

Vivian tells Gus she has a lot of evidence she can use against Nicole.

Brady comes into the hospital and sees EJ and Nicole arm-in-arm. He wonders what that's all about.

As we close, we remind you that today, December 23, is an important and solemn occasion in the chain of gluttony and avarice otherwise known as "The Holidays." There are those among us who celebrate this time of year according to the principles of their faith. But, dear readers, we cannot forget our neighbors who do not subscribe to those values. We must include and be tolerant of the people who, like those in Salem, are devoid of any shred of moral fiber, compassion, belief system, depth of character and, indeed, worth as a human being. Christmas Eve, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, the solemn moments of reflection the new year brings... none of these are theirs. Today... today is their day. Today, let us celebrate with the morally bankrupt, spiritually void and valueless dregs of our society... Festivus!




Previews
========

Carly tells Rafe. "I'm gonna tell you everything I know — under one condition..."

Bo points his pistol, "Stop right there!"

EJ tells Stefano, "I need help looking after my children and Samanther is out!"

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A Dried Up Over The Hill Useless Old Crow

At the Kiriakis mansion, Vivian continues to jab at her former sarcophagizers and claim she has the upper hand, "I think this is what's known as... the last laugh." Brady the Magnificent steps up to take one for the team and reminds Vivian he was the one who stuffed her in there in the first place. Vivian reminds him he can clam up anytime he wants and says she's out to bring them all down anyway. "You won't get away with this," snorts Victor.

"I already have," chirps Vivian.

At the hospital the vigil for Johnny continues. Everyone thinks the whole thing is taking too long. Kind of like a DOOL episode. Sami falls apart as usual and EJ announces Lexie went to check on things. He wants a little chat with Sami before Johnny wakes up.

Inside the O.R. The surgeons fill rubber gloves with water, toss them out the window and watch them break and splatter on the pedestrians below.

Jennifer is visiting the prison disguised as Clark Kent. She's playing mild mannered reporter, too and snooping around. Suddenly...

BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ

The warden announces a security breach and says they are in lockdown.

Hope urges Bo to go on without her as the buzzer rages. "We're in this together," says Bo.

EJ wants to strategize. He says he knows this is difficult for Sami and emotionally she's the Wreck of the Hesperus. Will comes in and sees EJ and blows up.

Dr. Kim comes out and gives everyone the look of death.

"What is it," gasps Sami.

"We ran out of rubber gloves," says Dr. Kim.

But he announces the surgery went well. He says it looks like the cancer did not metastasize.

Victor and Brady talk on the phones to their former subordinates as Melanie comes in. Victor suggests hare-kari for the guy who let Vivian get away with this one. Vivian announces she is the new CEO of Titan. Melanie doesn't believe it but they set her straight. Kate and Nicole say Vivian is not their boss and suggest she leave. Vivian then hits them with the fact the Kiriakis mansion is now "Chez Vivian."

Leigh wakes up to the buzzing. The warden comes in and Leigh tells her about being Bo-bonked.

Meanwhile Jen thinks maybe she's gotten in over her head with her little plan.

Hope begs Bo to go on with out her. He picks her up and treks on.

At the hospital, everyone is sooooo happy for the way things turned out. Daniel says they need to wait for the test, but he's an optimist.

"An optimist," repeats Sami, "Just what we need — an eye doctor."

Jen finds Leigh and the warden talking about the escape and offers help. The warden says Jennifer is a new hire with a background in journalism. She asks Jennifer to write up a press release and get it to the press, "Tell them she is a violent offender... just ask her husband, whom she nearly Bo-B-Qued."

Bo and Hope reach some kinds of dingy room, "It's OK," says Bo, "I am (say it with him) here for you."


Turns out, Titan owns the Kiriakis mansion. Vivian squeals, "So... this all belongs to little old me."

Victor says, "I don't know how little you are, but you sure got the other part right."

Vivian pats herself on the back about her coup. Suddenly Nicole starts to leave, but Vivian wants to talk to all of the Sons of Sarcophagy together about the revenge she has in store.

Jennifer is on the job. The warden warns her not to say anything without her approval. Jennifer leaves and Leigh accuses the warden of hiring Jennifer for her looks. The warden asks about the guy who hit Leigh, "He had the cheekbones like K. D. Lang," says Leigh.

Jen comes back in and tells the warden the computers are down. The warden and Leigh fly out.

Daniel tells the crowd they can go in and see Johnny. Inside his room, Johnny has a sporty patch. EJ tells him he knows he can overcome anything.

Vivian continues to chortle as Victor tells her his lawyers will contest everything. Victor says he wants everyone to stay with him so people won't laugh at them for letting Vivian drive them out of his house, "Looks like we will all be roomies."

OK, so Bo and Hope are in a downscale version of the Horton cabin. Probably the same set where the beam fell on Lucas. Bo tells her about what happened during their escape.

Bo assures Hope they are safe for now. Hope is grateful. "How grateful," asks Bo.

"I'll let you sleep with me," says Hope.

"Let's get you back to prison," says Bo.

Rafe asks Daniel about Allie’s condition since some cancers are genetic. Daniel suggests he make an appointment.

Sami tells EJ the hospital says it's OK if she sleeps in Johnny's room. EJ isn't sure that is the best thing to do, "The crisis is over and it's back to normal. Normal means Johnny's life doesn't have you in it."

Melanie wonders if Vivian has thought this through, "Living here with a group of people who love each other, won't you feel like a dried up over the hill useless old crow?"

"Melanie has a permanent place in my heart," smiles Victor. Vivian orders Nicole to stay.

Bo tells Hope stage one of his plan to put the warden in prison is complete. "What's stage two," asks Hope.

"Who the hell knows," says Bo.

Rafe says he's concerned EJ may withhold vital information. Daniel vows to watch out for Johnny and make sure he gets the proper care.

Sami refuses to walk away from Johnny. EJ volunteers to throw her out, but says he promised Johnny she will be there when he wakes up and she will be, "When you talk to him you will be saying goodbye. If you hang around I will pull out the confession and you will never see Johnny or Sydney again."

Vivian suggests Nicole go back into the den and have eggnog with the sarcophagizers. She bellows for Henderson to serve it to the crowd. Vivian pours it on thick (the BS, that is... not the eggnog) and orders them to sing carols. It doesn't go well.

The warden assures Jennifer this has never happened before. Another guard comes in and calls up a shot of Bo on the computer. "The prisoner's husband," says the warden.

Hope shivers. Bo tells her Ciara is with Jugs and Doolie. Hope worries about their situation and tells Bo he can't do this. She suggests leaving her. Bo no can do.

Sami is in shock. EJ is in his element. The viewers are in a daze. Johnny wakes. EJ tells him he looks like a pirate. Sami says she has brought him a story to read. EJ suggests reading it instead so Mommy can go home. Sami tells Johnny she’ll be back and loves him. She hugs him and leaves. EJ then hugs the unenthusiastic little guy. Sami watches as EJ starts to read.

EJ wants Daniel to keep Johnny in the hospital and out of the DiMera mansion as long as possible. Sami comes out and falls apart.

Melanie leaves the happy party. Phillip follows and suggests they not stay there. Instead, Melanie wants to stay and torture Vivian. Well, if Melanie's around, it's pretty easy to torture people.

"Wanna go make out," asks Melanie. Phillip does. Speaking of torture...

Vivian goes out. Kate suggests the next time Vivian goes into a coffin she really needs to be dead first. Victor agrees.

Vivian finds Nicole outside. After Nicole insists she hates being in the same room as Brady, Vivian shows her the naughty pictures the creep took of them at the DiMera mansion.

EJ strokes Johnny's head and wishes he had a whole brain, too.

Sami and Rafe arrive back at the Hernandez Hovel. Sami can't believe what EJ has forced her to do. Rafe assures her they will figure this out.

The warden orders Bo's name added to the APB, "His life is now over."

Back at the cabin, Bo decides to go outside and see what's out there. You know, like trees and stuff. Hope grabs her cell phone.

Over in the corner, Lucas moans, "Help... get this beam off of me!"

Previews
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Vivian says to Nicole, "Oh, the tangled web we weave!"

The warden tells Roman, "I will have my prisoner back tonight."

Bo tells Hope, "You and I are gonna go through this together."

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Sheeeee's Baaaaacckkk

Hope lies lifeless on the bed in her cell as a guard brings her dinner. Hope looks at him and manages a weak, "Bo! You're a guard here! OMG, I didn't think the hiring standards at the prison could get any lower!"

Bo looks at her smashed face, "You've never looked so good. Max Factor?"

Hope can barely speak, "Yes... And Merle Norman..."

"I see," says Bo, "So you used two brands of makeup for this new look."

"No," says Hope, "Those are the two thugs who came in here and beat me to a pulp."

"I am (say it with him) here for you," says Bo, "everything is going to be OK."

Victor is on the phone griping about a Swiss company buying Titan stock when Maggie comes in. She brings some of Phillip and Melanie's stuff and Victor says he thinks she came to see him, in spite of her protestations.

Maggie asks, "Victor, how do I put this? Stuff it!"

Outside, Vivian says, "Victor, this is going to be a Christmas you'll never forget."

Meanwhile, Brady and Nicole rumpus in the rumpus room. Outside, a creep takes their pictures. All nekkid and everything. The guy outside does a double take, "That's Misty Circle! I only recognize her with her clothes off."

Rafe is at the hospital telling Will what's going on with Johnny. EJ and Sami are inside with Johnny.

Johnny wants to know when he can go home. Sami does something she's really good at as a mother... she lies. EJ joins in, holds his hand and says, "I have something scary to tell you... I might let you go live with your mommy after all." He tells Johnny he will lose his eye.

"When do I get it back," asks naïve Johnny.

Bo comforts Hope who resembles Jerry Cooney after his Muhammad Ali fight.

Daniel and Chloe talk about how complicated life can be. He rages over his son-in-law's Phil-andering. Lexie calls and tells him about Johnny's surgery.

Sami explains the operation. "Sounds better than a sharp stick in the eye," says Johnny. He panics, though when he figures out they can't ever put his eye back, "Dang! Just when 3-D movies were getting really good!"

Hope tells Bo how all this happened, "The warden is behind all this." Bo tries to get her up. Hope squeals that she can't do it, "The warden is killing people." Bo vows to stop her and helps Hope get up.

Meanwhile Brady and Nicole wrap up the rumpusing. Brady gets a text saying Victor wants him at the Kiriakis mansion right now. He scoots as Mary comes in. Nicole straightens things up and Mary announces she's going back to Sydney. Then Nicole gets a text from Victor asking her to come to the mansion, too.

Daniel tells Lexie he'll be there right away, "Hang in there."

"The situation's bad, but I'm not suicidal," says Lexie.

Daniel hangs up and tells Chloe what's up with Johnny. He leaves to go work miracles. Chloe tells Parker he's lucky he has the best daddy(s) in the world.

Rafe tells Lexie he doesn't know how much Sami can take.

Johnny wails, "I don't want them to take my eye." Mommy and Daddy try to comfort him. Since Johnny needs their support so much, EJ and Sami go off to talk. EJ says he wants time alone with him. Sami doesn't think that will work out and refuses to leave Johnny. Johnny, the only adult in the room, screams, "STOP FIGHTING!"

Sami goes back to him and apologizes for acting like a child. She tells him he won't feel a thing during the operation, "Afterward, however, it will feel like someone ripped your eye out." He asks if there will be a hole where his eye was. The parents tell him yes, but he'll get a patch and a pretend eye and be well on his way to being just like Phillip Kiriakis, Salem’s bionic man.

Victor tells Maggie he has to get used to the fact she's too good for him. She reminds him he left a woman in a coffin to die. Kate happens by and listens as they continue to argue. She pops in and smoochies Victor just to get under Maggie's skin. She insinuates she and Victor are going to Paris together. Maggie huffs out.

Phillip joins the crowd, saying he got Victor's text. Kate says she got one too as Victor denies he has sent any texts. Outside, Vivian talks about her brilliant plan to spoof Victor's text number.

Bo and Hope struggle to get out of the jail cell. Hope rambles and tries to convince Bo she isn't crazy.

Brady has joined everyone in the Kiriakis den, and then Nicole comes in. Victor finally figures Vivian is doing this, "What the hell is she up to?"

Bo insists he loves Hope, believes her and says they've got to get out of there.

Sami tells Johnny he'll have super powers with his good eye, "You'll even be able to see thorough all my BS. Love can fix anything."

Johnny gets it, "So it can fix my eye, right?"

Dr. Daniel is in with Johnny and has given him a sedative. Concerned EJ and Sami watch as Daniel tries to give him a pep talk. Everyone shares the love as Johnny goes to sleep and they wheel him down the last mile.

Rafe comes in to find the tearful duo. Sami hugs him and practically drowns him in the process.

EJ leaves the room and broods.

Maggie goes to visit Clhoe. She asks about Daniel and Phillip's fight. Chloe bobs and weaves like Hope should have done in her fight with Leigh.

Phillip calls and leaves a message for Melanie. Vivian pops in, "Sheeee's baaaackkkk."

Hope tells Bo he'll wind up in prison if he helps her, "Prison," repeats Bo, "That wouldn't be as bad as being married to you." Leigh comes in and Bo starts roughing Hope up.

Sami and Rafe come out into the waiting area. Sami turns it into the panicking area. Rafe tries to calm her down, but he'd have better luck trying to stop the earth from turning. EJ steps up, "We are not going to lose Johnny."

Bo tells Leigh he's there to give Hope dinner. Leigh wonders if she's seen Bo somewhere before.

Vivian taunts, "We're all going to have a nice little chat. It's the end of the line for all of you, because now you're mine... all mine!"

Chloe tells Mags about Johnny, "He has eye cancer."

"Mother of God," screams Maggie.

"No," says Chloe, "She's OK. It's Johnny that's sick." Maggie says she's worried about what this will do to EJ.

EJ and Rafe get into it. Rafe tires to mitigate things, but the guys get macho and Sami has to separate them. Lexie comes out and says the operation is getting started and they all have to grow up.

In the O.R., The team of doctors get started. Ben and Daniel are there, too.

Pacing and phone conversations fill the waiting area. Sami calls Roman and tells him what's happening. Lexie suggests EJ call Stefano. EJ doesn't' think it would do any good, "Unless we could buy off the surgeons."

Back at the Kiriakis mansion, Kate tells Vivian, "You know what was great about you being trapped in that sarcophagus? You being trapped in the sarcophagus." Vivian taunts until Victor orders her out.

"Is that any way to talk to your boss," asks Vivian, "I own Titan lock, stock and barrel."

Leigh starts to go for the head guard. Bo grabs her and then Hope comes up from behind and slams her dinner tray into Leigh's head...

WHACK!

"I enjoyed that," says Hope, "I really did."

"You always enjoy it when you do it to me, too," says Bo.

They cover the unconscious Leigh and skedaddle.

Vivian taunts and throws a pile of papers at Victor, "Read it and weep. I'm now the majority stockholder. You were so busy chasing down Maggie no one was watching the store."

Lexie goes to check on the operation. Sami worries that things are taking too long, "How long can it take to remove an eye. I know from experience you can scratch someone's eyes out in minutes." Sami falls apart. Rafe comforts. EJ watches.

In the O.R. We pan in on Johnny and his new patch. Daniel asks, "Has the cancer spread?"

"I don't know," says Ben, "Lets go find a doctor to ask."


Previews
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Vivian squeals, "This all belongs to little old me."

Jennifer says, "This could be too dangerous!"

EJ asks, "Please, what's going on with our son?"

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No Recrap

Sorry, gang, busy day today, so I won't be able to post a recrap... uh... recap. I may be able to squeeze in a few post show comments on Twitter and Facebook later. Have a good one and we'll see you tomorrow.

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Mother And Child Reunion

Bo tells one of his officers he's off on a trip. Julie comes into the cop-shop with Ciara and wants to know where he's off to.

Melanie is back with Chloe in her apartment wondering if Parker is picking up on Chloe's tension. She thinks Chloe is blaming herself for everything, the fact that everything is her fault notwithstanding.

Daniel and Phillip are at the pier. Phillip admits to an affair with Bambi Toolose. He says he didn't want to break Melanie's heart, but also didn't want to pass up a chance for a roll in the hay with Bambi.

Stephanie tells Nathan about a church upstate they could consider for their wedding. She also asks about honeymoon plans. Nathan says she won't like what he has to say.

EJ figures Johnny's hairy eyeball is one of Samantha’s plots, so she can get back with Johnny.

Phillip says, "I'm disgusted with myself for doing it."

"Doing what," asks Daniel.

"Doing Bambi."

Sami and EJ argue until Sami can't take it any more.

SLAP!

"You are a sick SOB, EJ!"

Melanie says even though Daniel and Phillip got into a fight it's not the end of the world. Carly shows up and shares huggies with Melanie. Chloe says she has to go run an errand and asks the suckers... uh... built in babysitters to watch the Parkster.

Phillip drones, "If I could only take it back. I was drunk when I romped with Bambi." Daniel isn't full of forgiveness. He's full of lectures. He's full of...

Phillip says he thought something was going on with Melanie and Nathan, "I made one mistake." He begs Daniel not to tell Melanie.

"You want me to lie to my daughter," asks Daniel. Phillip swears he'll spend the rest of his life making it up to her.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO PLAY "DUMP THE KID!"

Bo instructs one of his officers, "We want to get rid of my daughter, so why don't you show her around the station. I'm sure there are a lot of things here she'll be interested in. Start with the interrogation room and show her the different types of rubber hose we use. After that, take her down and show her the iron maidens. I think she'd love to see the red carpet we have running down the hallway for the times we let prisoners escape and... oh, dang... too bad there aren't any executions scheduled for today. But that doesn't matter because even without them, a police station is just a Disneyland for a kid."

Once they're out of the room, Julie unloads and wants to know what prompted Bo's decision to leave. Bo says the investigation he's working on is the reason he's going. Julie is willing to baby sit Ciara and so the deal is set.

EJ brings up that old thing about Sami trying to blow his brains out. They come to blows and Rafe steps in and breaks it up, blaming EJ all the way.

Nathan says Johns Hopkins called again and want him to reconsider the fellowship.

"John who," asks Stephanie. Stephanie is all for it and ready and willing to locate. Nathan gets a call and leaves. Caroline the eavesdropper overhears and joins Stephanie. Caroline thinks maybe it's for the best if Stephanie and Nathan leave town. So does everyone else in Salem. They both think Melanie makes them nervous and Stephanie vows to get herself out of town with Nathan.

Phillip whines about making just one mistake. Daniel reminds him of the mistake he and Carly made... Melanie... everybody's mistake. He asks if Bambi knows it's over. Phillip says he'll have her transferred to Europe and says again it was only a one time thing.

"Isn't that another way of calling it a one-night-stand," asks Daniel, "I want you to leave Melanie and move on."

Melanie thinks Chloe is overreacting and blaming herself for Daniel and Phillip's fight. Melanie says she's not upset about it and she's sure they will work it out. She says she's getting her happily ever after and wants that for Carly, too. Carly isn't sure that will happen.

Julie looks at Bo the way a snake looks at you before it strikes. She thinks Bo is acting like he'll be gone a long time.

Rafe lectures EJ for his cruelty. Dr. Kim interrupts. Sami gasps, "What did you find out?"

"I found out Johnny wiggles a lot," says Dr. Kim.

Ciara is back in Bo's office looking at the wrapped box. Bo urges her to open it, but Ciara wants to wait until Mommy is there. Hope it won't spoil in 20 years.

Carly says Bo is going through a lot of pain right now. "Did Hope get out of jail," asks Melanie. She says Chloe will never be her favorite person but she's trying to see the good in her, "That's why I've asked for a microscope for Christmas."

Caroline and Melanie agree to stay quiet about the switcheroo. Caroline says she's worried about Kayla. Stephanie thinks Kayla will come to her senses. That would be a lot easier if she had any.

Dr. Kim says he has no definitive answer on what's wrong with Johnny. He suggests Sami go see her son. She and Rafe walk off as EJ stews.

Inside the only patient room in the hospital, Sami and Johnny have the proverbial mother and child reunion.

Phillip says he's not leaving Melanie. Daniel isn't sure that's Phillip's decision to make.

Carly agrees Chloe's infidelity should be kept a secret. Melanie agrees Chloe deserves a second two-hundredth chance. She says she knows Carly and Bo will get through their troubles together. And then Bo will go back to Hope.

Bo lies and says Hope is sick and can't come home for Christmas. He tells Ciara the present is from Mommy, who wants Ciara to open it now. Ciara opens and finds a necklace. Ciara says she loves it. She asks Bo to put it on. Bo puts it on and asks her how it looks on him.

Johnny says he wants to go home with Sami. EJ stands in the back of the room and simmers.

Daniel softens and says he doesn't want to hurt Melanie. He decides to keep his mouth shut. He points two fingers toward his eyes, "But I... will be watching..." He points two fingers toward Phillip's eyes, "You."

Daniel says others know. Stephanie for one. Phillip says he’ll talk to Stephanie. Daniel tells him he damn well better take care of it. Daniel leaves. Phillip whips out his cell phone.

Carly says keeping this secret may be why she is pulling away from Bo a little bit. Melanie says she wants to start a family so Carly can be a good influence on her kids. A murderess who carved her husband up with a dull butcher knife always is the best role model for kids.

EJ says he wants a word with Sami. Johnny begs her not to go. Rafe steps in and offers to show Johnny some magic if he lets Sami go. Johnny agrees. Rafe shows him some real magic and pulls a brain cell out of his head.

Outside Sami tells EJ to make it quick. EJ wants to be civil. Sami isn't sure he is able to do that. EJ says he has noticed Johnny needs her, "It was wrong of me to accuse you of doing this. I'm feeling guilty about all our fighting. Without that we might have noticed this a long time ago." Sami agrees and says they can't fight any more. EJ agrees to put Johnny first.

Phillip leaves a message for Stephanie. Chloe finds him there and he tells her everything with Daniel is OK... or not.

Nathan gets off the phone with Adrienne and tells Stephanie she's feeling a little dizzy. It runs in the family. Nathan leaves as Daniel comes in. He walks up to Stephanie, "I'm just gonna come out with this. I heard you tell Caroline Phillip cheated on Melanie. I talked to Phillip about it and he told me everything."

Bo says Hope wanted Ciara to have this so she will think of her parents. Ciara says she would rather have her mommy's wallet collection instead. Bo tells her he has to leave for a while and she'll be with Jugs and Doolie for Christmas, "If you get lonely let that necklace remind you Mommy and Daddy love you enough to abandon you on the biggest holiday of the year."

Rafe turns a penny into a dime. Johnny is amazed, "Can you turn it into a million dollars?"

Sami comes back and Johnny says he doesn't want any more doctors, "They don't call this hospital the pre-mortuary for nothing."

Sami assures him, "I promise I will (say it with her) be there for you." She gives him the high sign and explains what it means as EJ watches.

Carly comes in with Bo and wonders what he wants to talk to her about. Bo clams up.

Nathan gets to Adrienne’s place but hears crying across the hall. He knocks and Melanie answers holding Parker. She says he was crying a little and explains Chloe and Daniel are gone. Nathan slows her down and says she will make an amazing mother. Define 'amazing.'

Phillip tells Chloe Daniel agreed to keep things a secret. Chloe is relieved, but Daniel says he has to make sure Stephanie doesn't blab.

Stephanie, meanwhile, is blabbing, "Phillip told you everything?"

"He opened up," says Daniel, "But I want you to keep quiet about it. Understood?"

"My grandmother and I won't say a word," says Stephanie, "Trust me." Translation: as far as you can throw her...

Out in the waiting area EJ asks about the secret hand signals, "I knew I couldn't trust you. Get out... both of you. You will never see Johnny again." They go at each other's throats, but Dr Kim comes up with bad news.


Previews
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Carly asks Bo, "This has to do with Hope, doesn't it?"

Hope asks the warden, "Just tell me... what are you going to do?"

Sami shrieks, "NO! This is not happening!"

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