Have Allie Get A Strap-On

BULLETIN: After Leo's singing Peacock immediately demands that #DOOL go back to NBC. #DAYS

Uh-Uh-Uh, Chanel. You're in a committed relationship. If you're that interested in what Johnny has, you should have Allie get a strap-on. #DAYS

Allie says she doesn't like Johnny leaving sweat stains around and dirty dishes in the sink. What she's really worried about is with him around Chanel no longer needs to buy Playgirl Magazine. #DAYS

Nancy to Clyde: "Did you ever really love me?" Guy Manual rule 79B: Even if you hate her to the core, the answer is YES. #DAYS

Johnny walks out wearing only a towel and sets a #DOOL record. It's the only towel scene ever in the show where the towel didn't drop. #DAYS

Chanel: "I'm not interested in Johnny. Just take that at face value." If everyone in the world took things at face value… the liars would win. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "I had a sex dream about you." Eric: "And I had a sex dream about you." Nicole: "OMG… did we use protection?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jack: "Jennifer is taking pain killers." Julie: "What about you?" Jack: "I'm married to her. I'm taking pain-in-the-ass killers." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abby: "I will never stop loving you." Chad: "So now that you're a ghost, what are the rules about having sex?" #DAYS

Eric's Hobag

Nobody wears vanilla cologne. It's just that Clyde and Craig are just a little sloppy when they're eating Ben & Jerry's Mellow Vanillow ice cream. #DAYS

Nicole to Jada: "What you and Eric do under the covers is none of my business." No, it's her obsession. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "I've told you many times, call me Jada." Nicole: "No, I prefer calling you Eric's hobag." #DAYS

Cleavage

I think it's admirable Belle has enough self confidence to question John in civil court while wearing her jammies. #DAYS

Aw, man, Roman walks into court with his Perry Mason moment and the judge shoots him down. #DAYS

Why do I keep hoping Jennifer's pills are laced with heavy amounts of Fentanyl? #DAYS

I didn't realize Jennifer's heart-transplant scar was quite that larg… oops… cleavage. Never mind. #DAYS

Nancy agrees to marry Clyde on the spur of the moment. If she had half a brain she'd… well, have half a brain more than she has now. #DAYS

A Bend-Over Guy

Craig blames himself for what happened to Abby and Sonny because he brought Leo to town. Clyde: "You couldn't have known by dumping Leo at the altar you would send him off on a murderous rampage." True enough, but I'm not sure that was really helpful to Craig. #DAYS

Clyde to Craig: "You're a real stand-up guy." When he was with Leo there were times he was a bend-over guy. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stefan: "I'm feeling myself again." EJ: "Get yourself a woman. Feeling her would me much nicer." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "I don't think Craig could be a killer." Leo: "Just because you have a medical license doesn't mean you aren't psycho." Gwen: "You might be right. The opposite could be true. You don't have a medical license and you're as psycho as they come." #DAYS

Phony Marital Bliss

Clyde to Nancy: "You should know better than to doubt me by now." Doubt him, gal, doubt him. #DAYS

Leo: "If I hadn't come along Craig and Nancy would still be living in phony marital bliss." In Salem, "phony marital bliss" is redundant. #DAYS

Note to men only: From Ross on Friends to Xander on #DOOL the message from women is even if you are on a break from her you must KEEP IT ZIPPED. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nancy: "I know what you are up to is illegal or immoral." Clyde: "You're wrong. It's illegal AND immoral." #DAYS

A Little Cleavage

I'm certainly glad these @NBC prigs are around to take longer than Charles' speech to tell us what he said. #DAYS

Ava sports a little cleavage and reels Johnny in. #DAYS

Li has only been with Gabi a few weeks and now he's asking her to marry him. Since he knows she's a conniving weasel without many redeeming qualities, she must be one fantastic piece of ass. #DAYS

Li announces his engagement to Gabi: "It only took a few test drives to decide she was the ride for me." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "So you're saying that episode with your dad opened your eyes?" Johnny: "Right now your low cut blouse is what is opening my eyes." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristen: "You think I'm warm-hearted?" Rolf: "No. I said 'worm-hearted.'" #DAYS

You mean it's not spelled "Pee-cock?" #DAYS

So without #DOOL NBC now stands for "Nothin' But Crap." #DAYS

Sex Is The Best Way To Say Thank You

John's jealous of Marlena's computer. I think he just wants her to get off of hotguys.com and pay attention to him. #DAYS

Jada: "I respect you, Steve." She hasn't known him very long, so I guess she learned to respect him pretty quickly. Of course, she hasn't known Eric that long and she… you know. #DAYS

Paulina: "We should get a divorce." Abe: "No way." Paulina: "I'm not saying it's permanent." In Salem that's the one thing marriages and divorces have in common. Neither are permanent. Just ask John and Marlena. #DAYS

Abe wants Paulina to run for governor. In the real world… which is NOT Salem, the toxic press would dig out every part of Paulina's checkered past and tear her apart. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "Did this ordeal bring you and Kate back together?" Roman: "No, I've been banging her lights out for quite awhile now." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "Jada, this is my dan and his girlfriend… off and on. And apparently it's on again. Right, Dad?" Roman: "That's right. I'm on her every night." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla: "I want to thank you for saving my life… again." Steve: "Sex is the best way to say thank you." #DAYS

Sarah Can Drop Her Robe

Xander drops his towel. When they get over to the Porncock channel, the camera can pan back and Sarah can drop her robe. #DAYS

Jen: "Kayla gave me prescription strength ibuprofen." Over the counter ibuprofen – 200 mg. Prescription strength = 800 mg. Take four OTC ibuprofen and… you do the math. #DAYS

Leo to Sonny: "Try being accused of murder sometime." You mean like he was when they rolled Leo's body out of the Kiriakis mansion rolled up in a rug? #DAYS

__________________________________________________
Sarah and Xander – nothing like a spur-of-the-moment wedding:

They're gettin' married in a fever
Hotter than a pepper sprout
They'll be headin' for Divorce Court
Soon as the fire dies out.
~Johnny Cash

#DAYS
__________________________________________________

Next on #DOOL — Jack: "Gwen is no saint." Jennifer: "Neither are you." Jack: "Thanks for that observation, St. Jennifer." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen crashes Xanmder and Sara's wedding. Xander: "What are you doing here?" Gwen: "I didn't mean to intrude." Xander: "What did you mean to do?" Gwen: "Butt in." 🤮 #DAYS

Mother's Little Helper

Rafe doesn't like deranged killers roaming his streets. How about accomplices to attempted murder? #DAYS

Chad: "How's sonny?" Justin: "Holding his own." Sonny: "He'll go blind." #DAYS

♫♪ And though Jen's not really ill
♫♪ There's a little yellow pill
♫♪ She goes running for the shelter
♫♪ of a mother's little helper
♫♪ And it helps her on her way,
♫♪ gets her through her busy day…

#DAYS

Horniness Is A Feeling

Nicole: "GASP! Eric and Jada are sleeping together." And just how is this any of your business? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "Eric wouldn't jump into bed with someone if feelings weren't involved." Chloe: "Horniness is a feeling." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Justin (on phone) "What's up?" Chad: "The knife sticking out of Sonny's back." #DAYS

I Never Got To Bang Ricky Stenhouse

Sonny: "Stephanie works for us now. You can't hit on her." More importantly – Stephanie said "no" so you can't hit on her. But he will, and eventually Stephanie will cave in. That's just the way it is on #DOOL. #DAYS

Orpheus: "In one hour something terrible will happen to the women you love." What? They'll miss today's thrilling episode of #DOOL? #DAYS

If Sonny would have gone with Alex on his date with Chanel and Allie the mix of those at the table would have been gay-bi-bi-perv. #DAYS

Chad goes way off the deep end screaming at Gwen with the assistance of an app. It's called "oplexy." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sonny: "Stephanie works here. You can't hit on her." Alex: "Haven't you head of team-building exercises?" Sonny; "Yes. And they do not consist of exercising in a bedroom." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I was a racecar driver, but I was no Danica Patrick." Alex: "You mean you actually won a few races?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I was a racecar driver, but I was no Danica Patrick." Alex: "Because you weren't very good?" Stephanie: "No. Because I never got to bang Ricky Stenhouse." #DAYS