More Baggage Than The Salem Airport

If I were Arianna I'd be praying that I was switched at birth with a kid who had a normal family. #DAYS

 

Sonny: "Nothing will bring Nick back." Oh yeah? My money is on yet another patented #DOOL return from the dead. #DAYS

 

JJ says Liam's first date with his mom should be a fun night.  It is... for JJ. (Until Jennifer comes back, that is). #DAYS

 

Sami's wacky idea saves the day for Sonny. The only difference between Sami and Lucy Ricardo is... Lucy wasn't a serial killer. #DAYS

 

Liam must be getting the idea Jennifer comes with more baggage than goes through the Salem airport in a week. #DAYS

Itchycoo Park

Brady and Daniel open the show in Itchycoo Park. #ForBabyBoomersOnly #DAYS

 

I liked the scenes in the show with Brady and Daniel.  Cool action when the bus came roaring by and Brady tossed JJ under it. #DAYS

 

Eric insists he knows how to be professional. In professions, that is, that he doesn't get kicked out of. #DAYS

 

Drugs aren't the only thing sold in the park... Daniel also bought Brady's story. #DAYS

Bacon Is Overrated

Maxine seems more interested in Jordan's present than Jordan does. #DAYS

 

Abby: "There's nothing you can do after 11 you can't do before 11." Yeah, but after 11, you can do it again. #DAYS

 

Abby insists nothing is more important to JJ than bacon.  OK, I have to say it... bacon is overrated. #DAYS

 

Sensitive dude Victor's banter with Daniel was the best part of today's show. #DAYS

One Snort Over The Line, Sweet Jesus

Brady Black: One snort over the line, sweet Jesus, one snort over the line. #DAYS

 

Abby buys JJ's sob story. She may not be a virgin any more, but she's still innocent and naïve. #DAYS

 

Daniel doesn't want Victor insulting Nicole. I guess that means he'd better not say anything true about her. #DAYS

 

Victor says he showed the video in public for Brady. So, that worked out well — it sent Brady right back to drugs. #DAYS

A Massive, Uncontrollable Flatulence Attack

Gabi prays for God to help her get through this. God — not the world's best accomplice to a murder. #DAYS

 

Sonny vows to get to the bottom of the treacherous trio's dirty little secret... which is at the bottom of the river. #DAYS

 

"Drugs, drugs, the solution to all; Hide from your problems, life's a ball." ~Brady Black #DAYS

 

Sonny listens in. Just once I'd like to see a #DOOL eavesdropper have a massive, uncontrollable flatulence attack. #DAYS

Abby notes that Maggie, Jennifer and her will all be flying solo at Christmas this year. Let's hope for a plan crash. #DAYS

 

Fashion note: If Nicole's skirt was any shorter in the freezing weather her belly-button would freeze. #DAYS

 

Fashion note: "If Nicole's blouse were any more low-cut, her belly button would freeze. #DAYS

 

In an effort to keep Prevuze PG-13, we will refrain from further fashion notes about Nicole. #DAYS

Dead Nick vs. St. Nick

Will says he knows what happened with Nick. If you think he really knows, you flunk #DOOL 101. #DAYS

 

Sami suggests several new places in the rumpus room where they could have sex... Probably because the couch is worn out. #DAYS

 

I don't know who's cropping up more this season, dead Nick or St. Nick. #DAYS

 

Sami continues to swear her undying love for EJ.  I've seen this kind of love before but this time Sami doesn't have a gun. #DAYS

Holier-Than-Thou

Will: Your kid's mother and grandmothers are having coffee. Why do you think it's obvious something is "going on?" #EvenThoughItIs #DAYS

 

Jennifer, the next time Thelma and Louise take a ride, get in the back seat. #DAYS

 

JJ, who's been keeping quiet (a.k.a. lying) about being at Theresa's gets all holier-than-thou when she says she knows what happened. #DAYS

 

Jennifer says she never knew the horn-dog side of Daniel even existed.  Where the hell has she been? #DAYS

In Flagrante Delicto Al Fresco

Jennifer wants to talk about JJ and Daniel. JJ doesn't. Audience casts the tie-breaking vote NOT to talk about it. #DAYS

 

Jennifer wants to know what's up with Daniel and JJ. Just tell her it's part of your new "turning over a new leaf" program, kid. #DAYS

 

Cornelius: "I might find your unfaithful lover in flagrante delicto al fresco." Kate: "Either that or making love in the woods." #DAYS

 

Ladies: Three people can keep a secret... if two of them are dead. Except in Salem where the secret will get out anyway. #DAYS

 

Parker is the only human being on earth capable of being happy when Jennifer shows up. #DAYS

A Worthless Baby-Napping Husband-Stealing Piece Of Crap

Q: Which is highest: the World Trade Center in NY or the Willis Tower in Chicago? A: Actually Brady Black is higher than both of them. #DAYS

Will: "Don't scratch the CD or I'll have to kill you." SCRATCH IT, JJ, SCRATCH IT! #DAYS

 

Eric claims Nicole isn't capable of drugging someone.  He's right. Flesh-eating bacteria is more Nicole's style. #DAYS

 

Sami says Nicole is a worthless baby-napping husband-stealing piece of crap. She forgot to throw in raunchy porn star. #DAYS

 

OMG... The Jennifer-Maggie Mutual Admiration Society is in session. And me without a barf bag. #DAYS

The One-Eyed One-Horned Flyin' Purple Manhood Eater

Victor wants Maggie to move back home. Translation: He's hornier than a brass band on the 4th of July. #DAYS

 

Abby says her breakup with Chad was her decision. Translation: "Let's be crystal clear about who broke up with whom." #DAYS

 

Miles wonders what changed Nicole's mind about covering Eric's story. Based on the scenes, it was a series of irritating flashbacks. #DAYS

 

Jordan vs. Kate: The coy therapist vs. the one-eyed one-horned flyin' purple manhood eater. #DAYS

Rafenstein

The show starts out with Sami dreaming Nick forced her into entering a wet T-Shirt contest. #DAYS

 

I'll bet Blake and Ali either had a great time filming those scenes or hated every minute of it depending on the water temperature. #DAYS

 

Rafenstein walks.  With that stiff-legged gate all he needs is a couple of bolts sticking out of his neck. #DAYS

 

Daniel submits 127 letters from grateful patients. Face it, anyone leaving Salem Hospital alive is grateful. #DAYS

 

If I had a pair of $30,000 earrings, I'd wear Master Lock padlocks on the back of them. #DAYS