Off To Tanganyika

John to Vic: "You're going to rot in hell for what you did." And by the sound of his heart monitor, that will probably be sooner rather than later. #DAYS

Justin asks Adrienne if it's OK to be with Kayla. What part of "till death do us part" confuses him? #DAYS

Victor to Kayla: "You know I'm right. Caroline would agree with me." Ooooooo… he played the Caroline card. #DAYS

Kayla should choose Steve if she enjoys her solitude. What a faily… a daughter they never hear from, a son in prison and ahusband who's off to Tanganyika every time he changes his underwear. #DAYS

Justin proposes: "Kayla, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" If she answered him I couldn't hear it over the sound of the lead balloon crashing. #DAYS

Ping-Pong

Creep: "Tell us where Jake is or we'll have some fun with your pretty little girlfriend." Fun? He didn't specify what that meant. Maybe Jake has a ping-pong table in the back room. #DAYS

Ben always knew his past as a serial killer would come in handy. #DAYS

Wouldn't the fact Ben was the Necktie Killer be all the more reason for the creeps to whack him? Or are we dealing with "honor among thieves" here? #DAYS

Where Birth Control Goes To Die

I don't think Ciara showed Ben exactly what he wanted to see. #DAYS

Abby's just sick about leaving those sweet little babies… she called them that because she doesn't see them enough to remember their names. #DAYS

Ciara: "My man was on death row for a crime he didn't commit. Right… he wasn't there for any of his first string of murders. #DAYS

Chad explains to the kids what's going to happen. Translation: "Technically, you're about to become orphans." #DAYS

Well, Jake was sure thrilled to get that "Save the Date" card. After he wadded it up I was surprised he didn't throw it in the trash. #DAYS

Jack's pep talk to Abby made me want to go out and ride a bicycle, not go to a mental institution. #DAYS

Chad to Abby: "It's time." Sounded like the warden talking to a condemned man. #DAYS

Lani gasps: "I'm late." Eli: "Late for what?" Well, it ain't her beauty shop appointment. Salem: Where birth control goes to die. #DAYS

Abby: "I'm going to beat this." If it's a dead horse, you already have. #DAYS

Wonder Woman

 Oh, good, Will and Sonny. This is great. I hate it when I have to pay attention to the program. #DAYS


It's a good thing that bullet hit Rafe's badge. He forgot to wear his Wonder Woman magic bullet-stopping bracelets. #DAYS


Nicole says John and Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black have the secret to a great long marriage. Yeah, between divorces. #DAYS

Another Day Another Kidnapping

 Ho hum… another day another kidnapping. Now that Rachel's kidnapping
is over let's hurry up and get John's kidnapping over so we can get on
to the next kidnapping. #DAYS

So when $15 million is transferred into your account you have to hit
"accept." Seems kind of redundant to me. #DAYS

No need to act like a blushing schoolgirl at Eric's proposal, Nicole.
This isn't your first Rodeo. #DAYS

Hope charges Zoey and grabs the gun. I don't know if that was the right
thing for her to do in this situation, but my law enforcement friends
say their rule of thumb is "run toward a gun; run away from a knife." #DAYS

Organ Grinder's Monkey

Kayla: "I lost the love of my life and no one can ever take his place." Justin overhears as his manhood oozes out and goes right down the drain. #DAYS

Marlena's phone rings: "Unknown caller." Steve: "Answer it." Steve knows what to do in every situation. #DAYS

After Justin hears Kayla saying Steve is the love of her life and she can't live without him, Kayla tap dances like an organ grinder's monkey on a hot griddle. #DAYS

Marlena to Steve: "You think there is no way of getting John back alive." The odds are only about 100% they'll get John back alive. #DAYS

What part of "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" does Abby not understand? #DAYS

Did we...

Brady says he brought Sarah back to the hotel. Sarah: "OMG! Did we…" 1) I'd have thought she'd ask that when Brady walked in half naked. 2) No, you didn't. The viewers knew that when they played the "tinkly" music in the first scene. #DAYS

OK, so Rolf's serum gets your memory back. I wonder if he has one that erases your memory of what has happened on this show for the past six months? #DAYS

Ciara quits Titan. Ben has a job as a mechanic. Maybe they should scrap plans for the extravagant wedding and head for a Justice of the Peace. #DAYS

John Just Spanks Me

 John's Covid-19 mask looks a little tight. #DAYS

Note to Xander: You don't revive someone who isn't breathing by saying, "Please, please, please..." Try CPR. #DAYS

Maggie learns she didn't kill Adrienne or Sarah's baby and pulls out all the stops thinking, "This is the kind of stuff Daytime Emmys are made of." #DAYS

That was one hot show. Victor and Maggie spent the entire episode in bed. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Orpheus (on phone): "You have to come up with another five million dollars. That's the price you pay for being naughty." Marlena: "That's a pretty steep price. Usually when I'm naughty, John just spanks me." #DAYS

1958 Edsel

I have a pair of socks that are the same pattern as Nicole's dress. #DAYS

Just like clockwork, someone gets in a car and there is an accident. The
last time someone on #DOOL got in a car and didn't wreck was when Dr.
Tom Horton got in his 1958 Edsel but couldn't get it started. #DAYS

Maggie says Sarah is a selfless person. One trait all selfless people
share in common must be they are all kidnappers. #DAYS

I once wrote a Master's thesis that was shorter than Maggie's suicide
note. #DAYS

In Salem, kidnapping isn't a crime as long as you say, "I shouldn't have
done that." #DAYS

An Epiphany

 I've just had an epiphany about Salem Hospital. Not only does it have
just one room, it only has one floor. That elevator is the front door. #DAYS

Abigail needs to lower her doses of LSD. #DAYS

Be a guy, Stefan. Stop fighting it and take a ride on the Gabi Express.
#DAYS

Ben speaks up. Stefan: "Finally, the voice of reason." That reason
coming from Salem's answer to Ted Bundy. #DAYS

Jake: Master Mechanic

 

 

How The Pandemic Started

 

 

Reefer Madness

They definitely need to cast Abby as the lead actor for the 2020 remake of "Reefer Madness." #DAYS

Abe: "Kate wouldn't hurt anyone." What planet has he been living on?" #DAYS

 

 

New Parents

 

 

Practice For The Wedding Night

Eli to Lani: "What were you thinking?" Maybe she was thinking Eli would be dumb enough to help her cover up the fact she helped Kristen escape. #DAYS

Will: "We can't erase the past year." The writers certainly did when they skipped it. #DAYS

Sarah to Kristen: "How did you find me." That's easy. Paris is such a small city you can just bump into anyone. #DAYS

The winner in this baby-battle will either be Sarah or Kristen. The loser will be Rachel. #DAYS

Come on, Sarah, give Rachel to Kristen. It's like Miss America. You're the first runner up in case Kristen bombs out as a mother… which she probably will. #DAYS

Women vs. men: Ciara wants to plan the wedding. Ben wants to practice for the wedding night. #DAYS

Time-Out

 

 

Doppelgangers of Our Lives

Adrienne and Bonnie; Marlena and Hattie; Stefan and Jake. #DOOL = Doppelgangers of Our Lives. #DAYS

Steve has hurt me over and over. Justin hasn't. Apples to Oranges. Steve was with you for years. Justin hasn't been. This is Salem. Give Justin time. #DAYS

Chad: "It's terrifying to see Abigail go through this." It's terrifying to see Abigail under any circumstances. #DAYS

Victor’s Flunky

Xander: "Rachael is really Kristen and Brady's baby." Maggie: "How could the hospital make such a mistake?" Xander: "I helped them." #DAYS

Maggie isn't going to have the greatest Mother's day this year. #DAYS

Xander: "Why would you think Victor was involved in switching the babies." Because Xander is Victor's flunky? #DAYS

This has been a big news day for Maggie. #DAYS

Stunning Insensitivity

When Sarah first took the Hippocratic oath, she left out the part about "do no harm." #DAYS

"Kristen is a psychopath and a murderer," says Sarah the kidnapper. #DAYS

Nicole says she's demonstrating her stunning insensitivity. Not to mention her stunning ability not to shut up. #DAYS

A Firm Grip On The Obvious

Lani to Kristen: "You look really stressed." Attempted murder with the victim now awake will do that to you. #DAYS

Rex: "You cannot take another person's baby. It's not right." The man has a firm grip on the obvious. Sarah, on the other hand… #DAYS

Rex: "I can't keep this secret from Brady." Of course not. He used to BE Brady. #DAYS

Chad: "I thought the drug was all out of her system." Kayla: "Me, too." Chad: "Then why is this happening?" Perhaps someone is putting more drugs back in her system." #DAYS

Advice For Ciara

 

 

Ciara's See-Through Top

 

 

A Liar And A Whore

Kayla to Victor: "I think you're a pretty lucky man." I don't exactly
think of people in the hospital fighting for their lives as lucky. #DAYS

Kristen: "For once in my life I'm going to tell the truth." She would've
made a great nun. #DAYS

Kate: "I think politics is going to be a great fit for me." Probably
will. She already has experience as a liar and a whore. #DAYS