Terribly Annoying

Nancy compares Craig to Roman. Of course her description only applies to Craig before he turned gay. #DAYS

Maybe Craig's boyfriend is a tranny which further complicates things. #DAYS

Brady: "Did you ever suspect your dad was gay?" Chloe: "Well… he is a male and he watches Days of Our Lives." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristen: "Has anyone ever told you that you're terribly annoying?" Abby: "Actually I hear that a lot." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Craig: "I'm gay." Chloe: "You have to tell mom." Craig: "Not really because I'm not gay." Chloe: "But You just said you are gay." Craig: "I am." Chloe: "What is it, are you or aren't you gay?" Craig: "Yes, I am or am not gay." #DAYS

De Planes! De Planes!

Satan is doing a better job as Johnny than he did as Marlena when it comes to keeping his true identity close to the vest. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abby: "Where am I?" Kristen: "Welcome to Fantasy Island." Abby: "How did I get here?" Tattoo walks into the room: "De planes! De planes!" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "AARRRRGGGGHHH!" Belle: "Don't worry, we'll file an appeal." EJ: "When?" Belle: "No rush. We've got ten years." #DAYS

A Bit Too Needy

Johnny's saber symbolizes the fact he's going to take another stab at nailing Gabi. #DAYS

Nancy is being just a bit too needy. #DAYS

Johnny, you're Satan. Don't argue with T.R. Turn him into a cat. #DAYS

Tripp: "You're stuck with a nerd for a boyfriend." Allie: "There is no one I'd rather be stuck with." Well, Chanel must be a close second. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Allie: "You used to be better at sneaking out in the morning." Tripp: "You make it sound like I'm doing something sneaky behind your back." Allie: "No, I'm the one who's doing that to you." #DAYS

She Like's It That Way

Chad won't even let EJ have his own toothbrush? Ick… as in Chad's a  *ick. #DAYS

Rafe to Nicole: "I can't get you out of my head." I'm sure Nicole would fit in there given all the empty space. #DAYS

Rafe to Nicole: "I want you." It's probably not appropriate to say what Rafe really wants, but the sentence ends in "… her lights out." #DAYS

Belle: "I just talked to Chad. He told me what you did to Abigail." EJ: "That shower was years ago." #DAYS

Rafe: "We can take this slowly if you want." WHAT? They'd have to back up to take it slowly. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "I'm meeting with my attorney." Trask: "Why?" EJ: "To talk about an appeal." Trask: "Well, it's your money." EJ: "Yes, and I have more of that in my couch cushions than a DA makes in a year." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Ava doesn't trust me." Nicole: Because of the sex you had behind her back?" Rafe: "No, she actually likes it that way." #DAYS

A Peek Up Her Dress and Down Her Front

Belle: "The defense calls EJ Dimera." Yeah, what she calls him is an idiot for testifying. #DAYS

Allie: "You're not Sarah Horton. You're Kristen DiMera." She's on the right track but took the wrong train. #DAYS

Chloe: "I know you'd never cheat on my mother." Notice that Craig is neither confirming or denying. #DAYS

Brady: "I don't drink." Right. He just orders drinks in bars and contemplates the glass two or three times a year. #DAYS

Kristen is amazing, in a single scene she gives us a peek up her dress and down her front. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "My husband made a fool of me." Paulina: "You being a fool was more of a self-inflicted wound." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Craig: "There is no other woman." Nancy: "Then you must be gay." #DAYS

The Uncreative Untalented Writer’s Guide to Cheesy Fiction

As high-tech as our world is, we don't have the technology for undetectable masks like they constantly use on #DOOL. The only place those masks actually exist is in "The Uncreative Untalented Writer's Guide to Cheesy Fiction." #DAYS

Granger says he is sorry he can't be more forthcoming. If he doesn't cooperate Xander's fist may be forthcoming. #DAYS

Maggie hugs Sarah. Maggie: "It's so good to see you but why does your perfume smell like neoprene?" #DAYS

 on #DOOL — Nun: "If you know the Bible so well, please recite a passage for me." Kayla: "Book of Kayla, Chapter 1, Verse 1, 'Get thee off my case or thou shalt feel the wrath of a stone fist in thy visage.'" #DAYS

Impure Thoughts

Kayla: "Forgive me, Father. I've been having impure thoughts." Judging by the opening, in Salem, it's National Impure Thoughts Day. #DAYS

Brady: "You tried to move on with EJ." Nicole: "That's a mistake I won't make again." Nicole's life is full of mistakes she won't make again. Until she makes them again. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "You believed me when everyone else was questioning my character." Rafe: "Everyone else wasn't trying to get into your pants." #DAYS

With Another Woman

Devil-EJ tells Abby he wanted the memory of her sweet lips to sustain him in prison. Hmmm… the memory of someone's sweet lips probably has a short enough half-life they wouldn't get you through a long prison term. #DAYS

Brady to Nancy: "It sounded like you were accusing Chloe and I of a little something." No, she actually had a LOT of something in mind. #DAYS

Kate to Lucas: "I love you even when you mess up." She'd have to or she wouldn't love him at all. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nancy: "Your father is cheating on me with another woman." Chloe: "I figured it would be with another woman. He couldn't very well cheat on you with you." #DAYS

The Prurient Priest and the Naughty Nun

Come on, Kayla. Steve just wants to play "the prurient priest and the naughty nun." #DAYS

Rafe: "In all my years here, I've never had one complaint against me." He was an accomplice to attempted murder, but I guess no one complained about that. #DAYS

Belle: "Why don't you want a jury trial? You know it's easier to sway a jury." EJ: "Yes, but it's easier to bribe a judge." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla: "What clothes do you want me to wear?" Steve "None." Steve is disappointed when Kayla walks out in her nun's habit. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abby: "Do you know much about Ned Granger?" Chad: "No. He usually kept to himself. They called him the Lone Granger." #DAYS

Allie Loses Her Lesbian Virginity

The Naughty Ladies of Shady Lane

It's the morning after for the naughty ladies of Shady Lane. #DAYS

Tripp: "The bakery is closed today. Allie has he hand full with Chanel." Little does he know. #DAYS

Chanel to Allie: "If you tell Tripp what you did you could hurt a great guy, and you could blow what you have out of the water." And if she keeps her mouth shut Chanel and Allie can keep cheatin' on him. #DAYS

Allie and Chanel: Bi-racial, bi-sexual, bye Trip. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "I think Nicole sees me as an overly-possessive nut job." Rafe: "You're not really overly-possessive, so one out of two ain't bad." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Allie: "Chanel isn't feeling well and I had to stay with her." Tripp: "I imagine your time with Chanel was pretty intense." Allie; "You have no idea." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "Being the kind of gal I am I want EJ to pay for what he did to me." Belle: "Being the kind of gal you are with your Misty Circle background, I imagine a lot of guys have paid for the things they did to you." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "Go to hell!" Satan/Johnny: "You're making me homesick." #DAYS

Interracial Lesbo Sex

Wow. Interracial lesbo sex. Tom and Alice never allowed those shenanigans in their house." #DAYS

Susan: "You are the Devil and I'm going to put an end to your reign of terror." Maybe she can accomplish what God hasn't been able to do. #DAYS

Chanel to Allie: "Just stay… as friends… I don't want to be alone tonight." Chanel got those tactics right out of the Guy Manual. #DAYS

Out of all the towns in all the world, Satan just can't pull himself away from Salem. If that doesn't tell you a lot about the people of Salem. I don't know what would. #DAYS

The way Susan is going after Satan she might wind up being the first female Pope. #DAYS

Chanel: "Sleep on the bed. I'll stay on my side and you stay on yours… and take off your clothes." Is Allie really that dum… never mind. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "He who represents himself has a fool for a client." EJ: "Then why don't you represent me?" Belle: "Because then I'd have a fool for a client." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Allie: "My brother is an idiot." Chanel: "So are you if you don't know what I'm after." #DAYS

She's Hot As Hell

Of course this isn't Johnny ripping out Chanel's heart. Then again, Satan is an even bigger d*ck than I thought he was. #DAYS

Satan/Johnny better be careful. Paulina doesn't need to be possessed by the devil to go completely off the rails. #DAYS

Wow. An interracial lesbo scene. Tom and Alice never allowed those shenanigans in their house." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "How can you want a divorce? Upstairs you just told me how much you love me." Satan/Johnny: "Yes, I said I loved you but that was before I got laid." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "You can go straight to hell, Johnny DiMera." Satan/Johnny: "I'm not ready to return home yet." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "What has gotten into you?" Satan/Johnny: "The Devil himself… which is almost as bad as being a DiMera.

Next on #DOOL — EJ: What attracted you to Chanel?" Satan/Johnny: "She's hot as hell. I guess I just got homesick." #DAYS

A Pre-Nup

The design on the front of Lani's shirt seems a little distorted. #DAYS

Lani: "Do you have any idea what it's like to be married to someone who is always right?" Protip for Eli: There is only one right answer to that question. #DAYS

The scenes between Johnny and Chanel are not 1950s appropriate on so many levels. #DAYS

Allie: to Chanel: "You take my breath away." That would be literally true if she gets some of those feathers on Chanel's dress up her nose. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Lani: "Give Paulina an inch and she'll take a mile." Eli: "So what I'm planning to give you means you would have to take eight miles." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "Do you want to go at it again?" Chanel: "Why, you little devil!" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Johnny and I don't always see eye-to-eye. That's mainly because I'm a foot taller than he is." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "Chanel, I don't want to be married to you any more." EJ: "Uh… you guys did have a pre-nup, didn't you?" #DAYS

Foreplay

Chad wants Kate to pretend they never had their conversation. Keeping secrets like that – especially without bribing the person who wants her to keep quiet – is not one of Kate's strong points. #DAYS

John waits on Marlena hand-and-foot. In John's mind, this counts as foreplay. #DAYS

Johnny spaces out while Marlena is talking to him. In Salem when people space out on you, your first thought should be, "Possessed by the Devil?" #DAYS

Kate to Chad: "Somewhere out there in the universe Stefano DiMera is looking down at you and saying, 'That's my boy.'" If Stefano is looking down on Chad, they changed the location of Hell. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jennifer to Gwen: "You are always welcome in this house… until your next screw up." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "My in-laws are not the only dysfunctional family in Salem." Paulina: "Is there a family in Salem that is not dysfunctional?" #DAYS

Acting Like A Jerk

Salem Inquirer headline: "Duke Loses His Head Over Rafe-Nicole-Ava Love Triangle."

Studies have shown that Americans are losing attention span at an alarming rate. But that's only when they are watching #DAYS.

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Can you forgive me for acting like a jerk?" Ava: "I didn't think you were acting." #DAYS

Beheaded

If you didn't know Gwen was dreaming at the beginning, your #DOOL viewer's license has been revoked. #DAYS

The small town newspaper is going under. Jack and Jennifer are going to take it over. Jennifer: "We're going to leave it just the same as it is now." It doesn't take an MBA to see the fault in that business plan. #DAYS

Gwen is worried when Ava admits Steve is good… "really good." Calm down, Gwen. Ava may not be talking about his skills as a private eye. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "Duke was beheaded last night." Rafe: "QUICK! CALL AN AMBULANCE!" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Who could have beheaded Duke?" Nicole: "I'm sure it was either Sami or Smokey Bear who was jealous that Duke was having an affair with Mrs. Smokey." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "My year is off to a terrible start." Duke: "Don't be so negative. At leas you weren't beheaded last night." #DAYS
Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "Duke was beheaded last night." Rafe: "QUICK! CALL AN AMBULANCE!" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Who could have beheaded Duke?" Nicole: "I'm sure it was either Sami or Smokey Bear who was jealous that Duke was having an affair with Mrs. Smokey." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "My year is off to a terrible start." Duke: "Don't be so negative. At leas you weren't beheaded last night." #DAYS

the K-Tel Vacuum-Suck-And-Seal

Chanel: "Whatever is keeping Johnny must be more important than his first kiss from his wife on New Year's." Trouble in paradise already? #DAYS

Once Chanel put on her dress she used the K-Tel Vacuum-Suck-And-Seal to get it that tight.

Cool your jets, Lumis. Lucas is headed for a fall. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sami: "You are my rock." Lucas: "Because I'm always there for you?" Sami: "No. Because you have the IQ of one." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Lucas: "Why should you and I have to move?" Sami: "So we won't have any distractions. You know, like adult responsibilities." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Roman: "I promise I will keep your secret." Kate: "How can I ever repay you?" Roman: "Are you kidding?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with the love of my life." Kayla: "Which one, Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black?" #DAYS