Far Proximity

Devlin St. John, master of disguises, has himself looking exactly like John Oliver. Or maybe Oliver’s show got canceled and he came back from the dead in Salem. #DAYS

Belle to Marlena: “It’s not like I’ve never traveled before. I’ve been around the world.” She’s also been around the block, if you catch my drift. #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: On his next show, John Oliver goes after Devlin St. John and his corrupt practices at the Salem Water department. #DAYS

Starting the show with two half naked guys with their glistening bodies was absolutely critical to the plot. #DAYS

I hope Phillip knows what he’s doing by entering the poker game. He could lose an arm and a leg. That would leave him with one arm and zero legs. #DAYS

Chanel to Paulina: “What do you think Marlena was trying to tell you?” Something like “Lexie is going to croak and you’re on deck to get back into the game with Abe. #DAYS

Cat: “What’s Lexie’s prognosis?” Dr. Green: “It doesn’t look good for her. The rats are dropping like flies.” So it doesn’t look good for the rats either… or the flies. #DAYS

Dr. Green: “Working for EJ pus his employees in close proximity.” Is there such a thing as “far proximity?” #DAYS

Her Boobs Fell Out

Kristen: “What would father think of us?” He would wish he had become a monk.” #DAYS

Lexie is distressed over the number of Christmases she missed. Wasn’t it enough that her bulb was on the Horton tree? #DAYS

Abe to Lexie “We will have so much time together.” When they are buried next to each other. #DAYS

Javi dreams about Dimitri choking Leo in bed. This show is getting borderline kinky. #DAYS

Xander: “The chemistry between Sarah and me is back.” It didn’t take Marlena long to shoot that down. #DAYS

OK, Holly, so Sarah didn’t believe you when there was evidence you were taking drugs. Three Words: Get over it. @DAYS

Sarah reveals to Holly that EJ is responsible for planting the drugs in her bag. In a releated item, have you ever visited Mammoth Cave? It’s about as big as Sarah’s mouth. #DAYS

Kayla tells Stephanie not to be too hard on herselof. Her spat with Joy is really not Steph’s fault. It’s because of her birth defect. She was born with her foot in her mouth. #DAYS

Joy has yet another emergency situation for Alex to handle. When she reached for the baby carriage, her boobs almost fell out of that sweater.#DAYS

Lonnie says she knows for a fact Lexie did not leave because of Theo. If you think about it, that’s exactly why she left. #DAYS