I post Days of Our Lives previews here a day before the show airs. I find Daze pretty humorous on occasion, so if anything I say here offends you, well, sometimes I just can't help myself. Days Of Our Lives -- Embrace the Lunacy™
Kristen arrives without Rachel, whom she has left with a substitute fugitive. #DAYS
Eli acts like a teenager's father protecting Valerie's honor when he finds out she and Billy have been dating for three months. Sorry to break the news, Eli, but you're living proof she she lost her "honor" years ago. #DAYS
Lani says she wishes Kristen could be at the wedding. Maybe Kristen can't be there but "Susan" might show up. #DAYS
I can see Allie giving her baby up to Will and Sonny, having them spend a fortune to raise her for a while then yanking the kid back when mommy vibes hit her. #DAYS
Maggie says if Sarah lives in a house with Xander she'll be bound to run into him. Sarah: "I can handle him." Or handle any other guy who randomly comes along. #DAYS
Xander to Sarah: "What if I could give you another baby." He makes it sound like babies are on sale down at the five and dime. #DAYS
Eli: "Nothing is going to jinx us. We're in love. We have a baby on the way." Just like every other jinxed couple in Salem. #DAYS
Hell hath no fury like Sami when slightly irritated. #DAYS
Eli: "No one is going to ruin our wedding. It's on the 4th of July. It would be unpatriotic." It's on the 4th of July. There will be fireworks. #DAYS
Will: "Mom had me when she was a teenager so we sort of had to grow up together." Will grew up. Sami didn't. #DAYS
Lucas' "drama free zone" didn't even last through his next sentence with Allie. #DAYS
Do Will and Sonny not think if Allie is giving up her baby she may not want it in the family where she's reminded of it every day? Not to mention the drama when later on she decides she wants to be its mommy. #DAYS
Kayla: "Our first wedding was pure magic." And later on that magic became a disappearing act. #DAYS
Steve to Jack: "You told Jennifer I still love Kayla? Why don't you just put it on a billboard." Scenes we'd like to see: Jack puts it on a billboard. #DAYS
Jake and Gwen go at it. Not too romantic to have sex in a greasy old garage, but at least that would save on lubricant. #DAYS
Rafe: "My sister went to jail for a crime she didn't commit." Which time? #DAYS
Shawn: "Claire's heart is in the right place." Biologically. #DAYS
Ugh. When Ciara was talking about her relationship with Claire the spoon I was ganging myself with got caught in my throat. #DAYS
If you let Claire stay with you, once she gets a foot in the door she owns the place. #DAYS
Jake's a southpaw. So was Stefan a lefty, too? Might be a clue to follow up on to figure out if Jake is really Stefan. #DAYS
Bradyon his failure to launch: "This has never happened to me before." Says every guy every time it happens. #DAYS
Lani has morning sickness. I pretty much have the same thing except it's misnamed because here #DOOL comes on in the afternoon. #DAYS
Jennifer: "We need to go on a honeymoon." Jack: "What about the Spectator." Heck, Jennifer hasn't been into the office since they printed the Spectator on parchment. #DAYS
Jack to Jennifer: "Forget traveling. Let's have our honeymoon right here, right now." Jack is pretty impatient when he gets horny. #DAYS
Scenes we'd like to see: Jimmy gets so sick of Gabi running her mouth he pays Jake to take her back. #DAYS
Will: "Ben and I are friends now – He's the friendliest guy that ever murdered me." #DAYS
Jake to Jimmy: "I got as much to lose as you do." But not quite as much as Gabi. #DAYS
Sarah gives Brady an offer he can't refuse… Brady obliges. #DAYS
Scenes we'd like to see: They bring everyone to the town square and introduce Jake so everyone at once can be shocked seeing how much he looks like Stefan and we don't have to go through it person by person, then can get on with a story. #DAYS
Julie goes on and on so long about Gabi and the pacemaker saga that Jake wishes he was Stefan… because Stefan is dead and doesn't have to listen to her. #DAYS
Sarah, if Brady rejects you there is a wino living in a box around the corner who is probably available. #DAYS
Allie? If they SORAS her that much again she'll be on Social Security. #DAYS
Steve: "Did I say anything stupid last night? Kayla: "Only when you were talking." #DAYS
Steve: "Sometimes a man doesn't need a reason to make a fool of himself." Kayla: "True. Sometimes, like in your case, it comes naturally." #DAYS
John: "Thank God Claire has the best shrink in the world to help her." Marlena? Her nickname is Sigmund Fraud. #DAYS
History refresher: Allie and Johnny are Sami's children. They are twins, but with two different fathers. Allie's father is Lucas; Johnny's is EJ. Another #DOOL miracle. #DAYS
Hope: "If I was in your shoes I couldn't think at all." No one in Rafe's shoes can think. Especially Rafe. #DAYS
Allie opens her coat. Eric: "You're pregnant." Well, I don't think it's gas. #DAYS
The adoption agency says Will and Sonny's domestic situation is sub-optimal. Frankly, all of Salem is sub-optimal. #DAYS
Gwen: "I'm actually not a psycho, crazy or deranged." Denial is not just a river in Egypt. #DAYS
Ben the serial killer makes the case they might not want to let Claire out of Bayview because she tried to kill Ciara. My head is spinning. #DAYS
Ciara: "Working at Titan is more stressful than I thought it should be." Hope: "It's your first day." And the reason she didn't finish that is she asked for a sabbatical. #DAYS
I wouldn't exactly say Steve is three-sheets-to-the-wind. I think he's at least at the five-sheet level. #DAYS
Another day another kidnapping plot. #DAYS
Since Ciara's engagement ring isn't really a ring, you might call it "one ring to fool them all." #DAYS
If Brady was really crafty he'd look over Ciara's proposals and develop arguments against them for when she asks him about them. #DAYS
Xander: "I suspect Maggie and Victor wanted some 'time alone.'" Sarah gives him a look that says, "Eeeeeuuuwwww!" #DAYS
Let's vote on whether Claire should get out of Bayview: Against: 7,342,901,772 For: 1. Well, first, I see the entire world voted and, second, even Claire got a vote. #DAYS
Jake begs Ben to come back to work. OK, Ben, here's where you talk about more pay. #DAYS
Nicole to Brady: "I think you're going off the rails." Not unusual. I don't think there are any rails anywhere in Salem. #DAYS
Sarah's hair-beany isn't the only thing about her that's wrapped a bit too tight.. #DAYS
Claire: "Ben is a murderer and he got out of here. Why can't I?" Actually the gal has a point. #DAYS
Just think about it, Sarah. If Xander had succeeded with the embryo swap, MacKenzie would probably be alive today. #DAYS
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