An 8-Bit Mind In A 64-Bit World

The Pwilson triangle. Just as deadly as the Bermuda triangle only this one bores you to death. #DAYS

 

Daniel says Nicole is a loose cannon. Since when do "cannon" and "woman" mean the same thing? #DAYS

 

Rafe senses something might be going on between Will and Sonny. Well, duhhhh... Rafe has an 8-bit mind in a 64-bit world. #DAYS

 

Ben: "I'd never hurt you like Chad did." Does that mean making inappropriate cracks about her and EJ? #DAYS

Playing It Smart

The Hole In The Bottom Of The Barrel

Oh, great, Will, Sonny and Paul all together.  It's a hate triangle. #DAYS

 

Theresa and Eve together. We've found the hole in the bottom of the barrel. #DAYS

 

Maggie to Melanie: "You are a million miles away." Don't we wish. #DAYS

 

Will: "I'll make that SOB sorry he ever set foot in Salem." What? Are you going to make him read one of your articles? #DAYS

Theresa's Trauma

See, Theresa, your mother was right. You gave him the milk for free and he didn't by the... uh... Come to think of it, that is a rather disgusting metaphor, isn't it?

Carter's Little Liver Pills

Theresa and Nicole both confront Brady. How lucky can a guy get? #DAYS

 

Man, Ali Sweeny is huckstering everything on TV these days except Carter's Little Liver Pills. #DAYS

 

Will: "I broke sonny's heart." Not to mention his trust. #DAYS

 

Cole, there are other fish in the sea and most of them don't have a barracuda for a mom. #DAYS

The Town Groveler

Not only is Will now the town whiner, but he's also become the town groveler. #DAYS

 

Would someone please tell Paige the truth so we don't have to suffer through this until the May sweeps? #DAYS

 

Will is soooo upset that Sonny saw Paul. Gee, kid, at least Sonny didn't bang him LIKE YOU DID. #DAYS

 

Xander: "Friendships never die." Maybe not but old friends do if they don't fork over the diamonds. #DAYS

Not Eve's Type

Yes, Daniel, when Nicole says, "That guy knows how to treat a woman," you may take that as a direct slam at you. #DAYS

 

Crud. The new #DOOL closed-captions don't show the name of the person speaking. Now I have to remember all the minor character names. #DAYS

 

Paige says she thought Daniel slept with Eve. She should have known Daniel isn't Eve's type. You know... like... an adult. #DAYS

 

Eve called Jennifer a bitch twice today. I'm shocked. Shouldn't that be "annoying bitch?" #DAYS

May The Whores Be With You

A Diamond Jubilee

Aiden says he enjoyed representing Ben. I'll bet he's enjoying getting Clyde's payment even more. #DAYS

 

Eric wonders if Serena is celebrating something. A "diamond jubilee," if I don't miss my guess. #DAYS

 

Theresa wakes: "Brady make love to me." It's Clint, honey. Must be hard to remember when you've gone down w/everything but the Titanic #DAYS

 

New guy, rejected by Nicole: "A man can always dream." Dreams can turn into nightmares, too. #DAYS

Melanie Misinterprets

The Biggest Whiner In The History Of DOOL

Serena comes into her hotel room and finds it trashed; either that or she's really a slob. #DAYS

 

Nicole throws herself at Daniel. Daniel resists. Today must've been the day for the female writers to come up with the script. #DAYS

 

A long, close shot of Eve's derrière. Today must've been the day for the male cameramen to record the show. #DAYS

 

OK, Will just replaced Belle as the biggest whiner in the history of #DAYS

Weird Is The New Normal

Nicole thinks things were weird when she walked in on Serena. In Salem weird is the new normal. #DAYS

 

Serena has something better to do. Nicole has something better to do. I wish I had something better to do than watch stuff like that. #DAYS

 

Paige couldn't stay away from JJ. If JJ wants her to do that, the most effective Paige repellent would be a product called "Truth." #DAYS

 

Nicole: "Putting on a suit doesn't make people see the real you." Her dress the other day certainly revealed the real Nicole. #DAYS

Love Triangle

Lucas wonders what's going on with Will, Sonny and Paul. Just a wild guess, but... Love triangle? #DAYS

 

Sometimes I wonder if Lucas was once hit in the head with a Paul Narita fastball. #DAYS

 

It seems Melanie has been reading the Guy Manual: "When in doubt, blame the ex-girlfriend." #DAYS

 

By the way, who in Dubai is named "Elsa?" She must be someone's Swedish maid. #DAYS

The Black Hole Of Corporate Politics

Poor Kate gets sucked into the black hole of corporate politics. Chad treads water in her wake. #DAYS

 

Chad wonders what's happening. Kate: "Hardball." It's more like the gladiatorial games... and Kate's missing her sword and shield. #DAYS

 

What a shock. Chad votes for Stefano after the majority has already voted against Kate. #DAYS

 

The board better watch out. Hell hath no fury like Kate scorned. #DAYS

Easy Access Zipper

Will: "I'm not going to let Paul ruin my marriage." News bulletin, Will... you already did that. #DAYS

 

The only thing more provocative than Nicole's dress yesterday would be one with an easy access zipper down the fron... never mind. #DAYS

 

Melanie tells Theresa she can go to hell.  Given her lifestyle, it's only a matter of time. #DAYS

 

Why does Hope have to stop by to see the picture of Tori? I guess Lucas has never heard of email. #DAYS

Nineteen-Ninety-Five

Kate, Stefano and Victor plotting evil deeds.  What is this, an episode from 1995? #DAYS

 

Abby to Jennifer: "Mornings are your busiest time." Given Jennifer's work record, that doesn't say much. #DAYS

 

Chad to Kate: "You don't handle Mr. Shin." That would be just about the only man Kate hasn't handled. #DAYS

 

Daniel asks Nicole what she wants. She's wearing a dress that leaves very little to the imagination. Think it through, Doc. #DAYS

New DOOL Writers

The new #DOOL writers are working hard to improve the show.

Adrienne Strikes A Blow

Will gets what slimeball cheaters everywhere deserve.

Fake Licenses And False Identities

Marlena asks for a hint. She's back with John. A clue would serve her better. #DAYS

 

So the place offering Jordan the new position — do they know about all her fake drivers' licenses and false identities? #DAYS

 

Adrienne blows up about Will's unfaithfulness... as she considers becoming unfaithful to Justin. #DAYS

 

Rafe and Jordan share a last dance.  Oh, how symbolic it would be if Kate would cut in. #DAYS

When Hell Freezes Over

Today's show started with a flashback of Eve & JJ in flagrante delicto.  As if we might have forgotten. #DAYS

 

Eve says she'll let JJ & Paige get together when hell freezes over. Given this past winter, I think it already has. #DAYS

 

JJ says he doesn't want to talk about it. Rory respects that and... you know... for half the episode. #DAYS

 

Paige says Jennifer and Eve are acting weird.  With Jennifer and Eve, what else did she expect? #DAYS

 

Poor Rory is always looking for JJ's GF to have a friend or sister. Yet he thinks JJ is the one who needs to "man up." #DAYS

That Rabid Dog Theresa

JJ wonders how his predicament could be fixed. The sudden deaths of Eve and Jennifer? #DAYS

 

Eve says Jennifer is fiddling with Jack's royalties.  And Eve is fiddling with Jack's son. #DAYS

 

Paige says leaving Salem isn't going to happen. It's probably more likely than Eve joining a nunnery. #DAYS

 

Nicole wants to figure out how to put a muzzle on that rabid dog Theresa.  Well, they say duct tape has many uses... #DAYS

Hormone-Saturated

Jennifer, instead of shouting so everyone in the square can hear you grilling JJ about his affair, use a megaphone. #DAYS

 

JJ keeps trying to explain his affair with Eve. All he needs to say is he's a hormone-saturated guy with the IQ of a bagworm. #DAYS

 

Roman says he loves Hope like she's his sister. Given the slump his sex life is in these days that applies to every woman he knows. #DAYS

 

Daniel consults the Guy Manual for advice about Nicole: "Next time bang her THEN kick her out." #DAYS

The Rest Of The Story

Will: "Things are messy and complicated." Protip: Things don't get so bad if you DON'T SCREW UP IN THE FIRST PLACE. #DAYS

 

Tori drops her jaw when she sees John.  Should he be humming "I left my heart in San Francisco?" #DAYS

 

Jennifer wonders if Eve is responsible for Roxanne being with JJ. Then Jennifer gets, as Paul Harvey says—the rest of the story. #DAYS

Eve and JJ: Caught In The Act

BULLETIN: PREVUZE BANNED FROM FACEBOOK!

OMG! Facebook has banned Prevuze!  I'm not certain what the issue is, but apparently that last picture of Eve and JJ having pedo- geezo-sex was too much for Facebook Czar Mark Zuckerberg.  In the parlance of the tech community... PREVUZE GOT ZUCKED!