Med School

Jade: "Someday you'll love me as much as I love you." Joey, perhaps this might be a good time to join the French Foreign Legion. #DAYS

Steve: "Are you interested in being a doctor?" Tripp: "Are you interested in paying for med school?" #DAYS

I certainly hope the intruder didn't damage Daniel's heart. It's been through a lot. #DAYS

The Law Of Unintended Consequences

Joey kicks Jade to the curb. She moves in with Tripp. What's that they
say about the Law of Unintended Consequences? #DAYS

Can't the Mayor just tell the Commissioner to keep Lani away from the
Snake Caper? #DAYS

When you're on the run from the law and a mobster like Deimos, you
shouldn't even go to a hardware store, let alone buy one. #DAYS

Kayla was disappointed Joey didn't go into medicine. Joey's too dumb to
go to the doctor, let alone be one. #DAYS

Emmy-Worthy

A truly Emmy-worthy performance.

Paved With Good Intentions

#DOOL goes high budget: they ripped up Lani's new fishnet stockings. Do you know how much those things cost? #DAYS

 

Steve to Jade: "Let's go shopping and get you a few things. My treat." Translation: "My bribe." #DAYS

 

JJ says Lani shouldn't worry about Snake. Bad advice. His name is "Snake," not "Teddy Bear." #DAYS

 

Jennifer to Abby: "We're both on the same journey." Yes, and from what I hear the road to there is paved with good intentions. #DAYS

Slippery and Deadly

Abby: "You're not going to get weird if we're working together, are you?" JJ's weird no matter who he's working with. #DAYS

 

Roman: "Snake got his name because he is slippery and deadly." Gee, I figured it was because he was caring and cuddly. #DAYS

 

Seems like Lani already could use rescuing after protesting to JJ that she's not some helpless gal who needs rescuing. #DAYS

One Of The Many

Maggie: "God granted me the serenity to accept what I can't change." And by 'accept' she means don't be obvious trying to change them #DAYS

 

Abby has always been a fan of the "big gesture." You know, like setting places on fire when she left them. #DAYS

 

Brady: "Back in the day I was good at getting you out of your clothes." Nicole: "One of the best." And one of the many. #DAYS

Crazy

When you look up the definition of 'crazy.' Or 'insane' or 'nuts' or 'wacko' or 'bonkers' or 'demented' or…

Coward

Chad and Abby have so much in common. She's certifiably wacko and he must be, too, if he wants her back.  #DAYS

 

Abby touches Dario's hand.  To her, a sign of friendship. To him, a signal to get her to the Salem Inn. #DAYS

 

"I respect you too much to take advantage of your pain," says Dario as he desperately tries to take advantage of Abby's pain. #DAYS

 

Doug to Gabi and Julie: "Ladies, I believe I'll let you two clear the air by yourselves." Coward. #DAYS

Mississippi 1950

Eli: "How's that coffee?" Gabi: "Cold." Hmmm… kinda like Gabi's response. #DAYS

 

Eli is interested in Gabi and Julie tells Hope because she's a cop? It's illegal? What is this, Mississippi, 1950? #DAYS

 

Joey: "Babies aren't glue." Joey shows his first sign of intelligence. #DAYS

John's Quickie

"And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make" ~Lennon & McCartney #DAYS

St. Scooter

Gabi: "What happened?" Abby went off the rails, over the edge, around the bend, off her rocker and out to lunch. Normal day for her. #DAYS

 

Abby: "Call me crazy but…" Oh, Abigail, "crazy" doesn't even begin to say it. #DAYS

 

What a turnaround! In one evening Scoot the brute becomes St. Scooter. #DAYS

Setting Things On Fire

 

Insult —> Kiss —> Slap

THE scene from today's show.

More Bats Than A Louisville Slugger Factory

André: "A bride should be allowed cold feet." Maybe, but she should also have a working brain—something Abby lacks. #DAYS

 

Abby's belfry has more bats than a Louisville Slugger factory. #DAYS

 

Suddenly Chad… along with thousands of viewers… wishes he had given the whole vial to Gabi. #DAYS

 

Kate to Gabi: "Do for Chad what Abigail can't." What… have an adult conversation with him? #DAYS

Nuttier Than Squirrel Poop

Abigail Devereaux — nuttier than squirrel poop. #DAYS

The Worst Kind Of Pervert

 

A Love Manifesto

Kate: "This could be your last chance to find a man you love." If Gabi's like Kate there's a man to love around every corner. #DAYS

 

André said it well: "She signed his yearbook. That's what kids do." Get a grip, Abby, a yearbook signature isn't a love manifesto. #DAYS

 

Brady & Nicole have to wait 2 weeks to leave? Yeah, Canada is such a tiny country there is nowhere else to go. #DAYS

Bad Luck

After continuously rejecting him, now that he's unavailable Kate wants Eduardo more than anything. #DAYS

 

If seeing the wedding dress before the wedding is bad luck, Chad definitely must've seen the first one Abby wore. #DAYS

 

Rafe: "It's my job to uphold the law." Except when he's being an accomplice to a murder. #DAYS

A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

 

Only On A Soap Opera

Ciara to Wyatt: "You're too good to be true." Any normal, happy relationship in Salem would be too good to be true. #DAYS

 

Claire wants more than a one-night-stand but Theo's on track for a one-lifetime-stand. #DAYS

 

Dario tells Chad that Abby is the most loving, loyal wife in the world. She wasn't exactly loyal to Ben, even before he freaked out. #DAYS

 

Only On A Soap: A black guy leads a blindfolded white girl into a hotel and nobody calls the cops. #DAYS

Slut-Shaming

 

Arctic Circle

Jade tells Joey he's about to do something stupid. If she expects something smart from Joey she's in for a long wait. #DAYS

 

Nicole rejects Brady's advances. Frigid Misty Circle becomes Arctic Circle. #DAYS

 

Tripp to Jade: "They may have bought you off with this fancy loft…" My garage is fancier than that loft. #DAYS

 

Is Brady so dense he doesn't realize Scooter will show up whenever he leaves? Oh, yeah… never mind. #DAYS

Women Of Dubious Profession

 

Eduardo's Arrest;

 

Priceless

OMG! Deimos tricked Rafe! That's about as hard as tricking your dog into eating a T-bone steak. #DAYS

 

Eduardo wants Rafe to look the other way. Come on, Rafe, looking the other way when a crime is committed is your specialty. #DAYS

 

* * *

 

Counterfeiting corporate bonds: Inexpensive

Getting Eduardo to do your dirty work: Cheap

Tricking Rafe and Hope: Priceless

Famous Last Words

Rafe goes on and on about how they shouldn't be bugging Diemos. Being an accomplice to Hope shooting Stefano, however, wasn't a problem for him. #DAYS

 

Abby to Kate: "Shut the hell up and stay out of our lives." That could become a classic in the "Famous Last Words Encyclopedia." #DAYS

 

Eduardo: "The day I stop taking risks you should bury me." If he keeps taking risks, they might. #DAYS

 

The way people keep bumping into each other I figure the entire town of Salem must be about the size of a football field. #DAYS

Cyber-Pervs

Catch-A-Critter? No doubt #DOOL's name for Pokemon-Go. Don't they know that Pokemon-Go is sooooooooo 2016. #DAYS

 

Gabi doesn't get how SPD doesn't have rules against dating. JJ reminds her that would also apply to Rafe and Hope. BURN! #DAYS

 

Morehead? Really? #DAYS

 

Nicole to Scooter: "You're as bad as the cyber-pervs. If you're wondering, cyber-pervs are the ones who watch #DOOL online. #DAYS

 

Nicole: "We can't do anything rash." Yeah, and if she sleeps with Scooter she might get one. #DAYS

Misty Circle Does Canada

 

The Wizard Of Bras

 

A Shot In The Dark

Brady: "We're going to give this a shot." It'll be a shot in the dark if you ask me. #DAYS

 

Brady: "I'm going to win you over." Shouldn't be too hard. Nicole's been won over, knocked over, run over and passed over before. #DAYS

 

Future tweet from the Salem Retirement home, 2077: Claire: "Let's go to the Mountain Lodge." Theo: "I don't want to rush things." #DAYS

 

Seething Hostility

The FBI being assisted by the SPD is like a nuclear physicist being assisted by his dog. #DAYS

 

The seething hostility between Lani and Eli tells me they'll be dating in no time at all. #DAYS

 

Chad: "What's wrong?" Abby: "Nothing." Guy Manual translation: "Everything." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL — Eli: "I came to get a lay of the land." Lani: "Excuse me? Did you say 'Land' or 'Lani?" #DAYS