Frau Blücher

Chad might want to think twice before going to work for Maggie "Frau Blücher" Kiriakis. #DAYS

When Rex went to get his fake tan sprayed on they used the wrong shade of wood stain. #DAYS

Xander Cook now lists his address as being at the intersection of Chloe Lane and Easy Street. #DAYS

She'll Burn In Hell Later

Bonnie: "God is punishing me for lying." Justin: "That's not how it works." Yeah, she'll burn in hell later. #DAYS

Bonnie: "I'm glad you don't have any problem keeping Sarah's secret." Justin: "But I do." Statistics show 96% of all people can't keep a secret. The other 4% die before they can blurt things out. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Julie: "What are your plans for this evening?" Chad: "To bang Stephanie like a screen door in a hurricane." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Justin: "Secrets have a way of coming out." Bonnie: "How does that happen." Justin: "Sometimes a loudmouth like you knows the secret." #DAYS

Fully Combobulated

Julie: "Abe doesn't have an enemy in the world." Abe is a politician. A politician without enemies is a politician who has never expressed his point of view on anything. #DAYS

Whitley to Abe: "Do you feel discombobulated?" Actually, Abe looks fully combobulated to me. #DAYS

Gwen to Dimitri: "This can't happen again." It will happen again… and again… and again. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eli: "When Lani gets home she won't be able to be a cop." Julie: "Just like Rafe?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "I was trying to distract you. Why didn't it work?" Stefan: "Your top was on." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "How exactly did this happen?" Dimitri: "You came on to me and the clothes came off of you." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Dimitri: "Will you marry me?" Gwen: "We can't get married. We just met. No one does that." Dimitri: "Haven't you ever seen Dharma and Greg?" #DAYS

A Checkered Past With The Opposite Sex

Leo: "I think Dimitri wants something more than your sweet ass." Gwen: "For being gay you seem to have an uncommon admiration for my ass." #DAYS

Belle yanks a bottle of booze from drunken Shawn. Personally I think Shawn is living with a serious problem. His drinking is a problem, too. #DAYS

If I was Dimitri I'd shove Leo into the waste basket along with the flowers. #DAYS

Belle to Shawn: "You shouldn't be drinking yourself into a stupor." Shawn being in a stupor would increase his IQ. #DAYS

All-I-want-is-casual-sex Sloan has turned into a clingy, suffocating man-repellent. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "I know I have a checkered past with the opposite sex." Leo: "Checkered? It's a three-dimensional kaleidoscope-colored chess board." #DAYS

Your Sweet Little Ass

Gwen: "Dimitri and I have so much in common." Leo: "So you're both kindred spirits?" No, they're both conniving schemers. #DAYS

I have a pair of patent leather shoes that match Kristen's slacks. She fills the slacks out better than my feet fill the shoes, though. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Meghan: "My brother is a self-absorbed narcisist." Li: "You're going to have to be more specific. Which brother?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "I think Dimitri is after more than that sweet little ass of yours." Gwen: "So whatever it is he wants I hope he wants my sweet little ass along with it." #DAYS

The Shower

Meghan: "I have as much right to be here as any of Stefano's children." If they had all of Stefano's children in that house they would need a hotel license. #DAYS

"Body and Soul" is much more entertaining than #DOOL. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — John: "We're searching high and low for Abe." Paulina: "Search in the middle." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "Let's move this to the shower." Stefan: "I like where your head's at." Gabi: "You seem to like where other things are at, too." #DAYS

Clod-Hoppers

Given the way her conversation with Xander is going, Bonnie would be better off if when she was putting on her makeup she got her lip gloss mixed up with crazy glue. #DAYS

Xander: "Chloe and I are somewhat involved." Bonnie: "What does 'somewhat' mean?" Xander: "It means so far I've kept it in my pants." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "Don't tell me something is going on between you and Xander." Chloe: "On… yes. In… not yet." #DAYS

Sloan has certainly changed her tune since she first got together with Eric and told him she wanted to keep things casual. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander: "How did you know I was coming?" Bonnie: "I heard you. Your shoes are clod-hoppers." Xander: "No they're not. I've never once used them to hop over Rafe." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sloan: "What Colin did was unspeakable." Eric: "Then why are you speaking about it?" #DAYS

A Messy Divorce

Chad talkes to Abby, "I can picture what our lives would be now." So can I. They'd probably be going through a messy divorce. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "I can't go to the meeting with you." Stephanie: "OK, I'll stop by after the meeting and fill you in." Chad: "I'd rather fill you in… if you catch my drift." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander puts the moves on Chloe. She backs away. Chloe: "Don't you think we should keep things professional?" Xander: "Sure. If you want it that way, I'll pay you." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Julie: "Do you think wearing your wedding ring is holding you back from moving on?" Chad: "No. I think it's holding me back from getting laid." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Justin: "How far along is Sara's pregnancy?" Bonnie: "Let's put it this way… her new nickname is 'Hindenburg.'" #DAYS

With An Ass Like Yours

Dimitri Von Lunchhour and Gwen RiceChex will make a delightful couple… at meal time. #DAYS

Whitney: "The mayor is in my prayers." And in your living room. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristen: "What are your plans for all that lovely money?" Meghan: "I could hire a hit-man to come after you." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "If neither of us find a man we should marry each other." Gwen: "But you're gay." Leo: "With an ass like yours, you never can tell what might happen." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Harris: "I did those things before because I was brainwashed." Kate: "But you still have it in you?" Harris: "The ability to kill?" Kate: "No, the brain." #DAYS

Zack's Eyes

Rafe: "Let's go over everything we know so far." That'll be a short meeting. #DAYS

Tripp walks half-naked into the room with Wendy. Why put your advertising on a billboard when you can carry it around with you? #DAYS

Why is Abe's vision blurry? Because Zack's eyes are failing. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "Stop staring at me and say something." Colin: "Nice boobs." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Wendy: "You're a handsome doctor. You're a total catch." Tripp: "Put on your fielder's mitt." #DAYS

Is She A Virgin?

Sloan: "If Nicole is pregnant with Eric's baby, you can blame Talia for that." Actually I'd blame Eric, but that's just me. #DAYS

Scotch, champagne, zippers, hoverboards… Xander claims the Scotts invented everything. Who does he think he is, Checkov? #DAYS

Chloe has to unglue her lips from Xander and take her hand out of his shirt to slap him for kissing her. #DAYS

Leo: "I am orientation challenged." Jada: "You mean your sexual orientation?" Leo: "OMG, no! I am completely LGBTQ minus the LBTQ. #DAYS
Next on #DOOL — Xander: "If you don't go back to work for Gwen you'll come home every day to a brooding Scotsman." Chloe: "If that's a promise I'll never go back to work for her." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Meghan: "I think you should marry Kristin." Dimitri: "Is she a virgin?" Meghan: "Did you say vegan or virgin?  It doesn't matter. There is nothing Kristin abstains from." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander: "If you can't stand the things I've done, why do you have feelings for me?" Chloe: "Because I've seen another side of you." Xander: "Wait until you see that side when I'm not wearing clothes." #DAYS