Her Usual Pukey Self

Rafe tells Sami he traded his cane in for a better model.  Just like he traded Sami and Kate in for a better model. #DAYS

 

Daniel said Nicole doesn't seem like her usual perky self.  Doesn't he mean her usual pukey self? #DAYS

 

Eric takes a one-second look at the story and says it's great.  I'm sure he'll do an in-depth job of punching it up for Jennifer. #DAYS

 

Abby acknowledges that with EJ it's over.  Over except for the shouting, as they say. That will happen when Sami finds out. #DAYS

The Next Polar Vortex

Ciara says she loves Hope for letting her keep the earrings.  What have we learned here? You can buy love... really. #DAYS

 

Jordan says she's happy and nothing will change that. Translation: change is roaring in like the next polar vortex. #DAYS

 

Sonny & Will, save some time. Stop telling everyone individually you're getting married and rent a billboard. #DAYS

 

I need a refresher. How is it that ex die-hard homophobe T is now best friends with Sonny and Will? #DAYS

My Cat Reciting The Gettysburg Address

Aidan working with Hope on the PTA bake sale? Have the #DOOL writers no creativity... or shame? #DAYS

 

Ciara knows exactly which earrings she wants BEFORE going to the store? She's a disgrace to shopping crazed females everywhere. #DAYS

 

Ciara says when she grows up she wants nice things like Sami has. Including enough husbands to have her own basketball team. #DAYS

 

Gabi doing calculus is about as likely as my cat reciting the Gettysburg Address... in Latin. #DAYS

In-Flagrante

JJ wants to know who Abby's "older man" is." Tell him it's Mr. Noyb, Abby." #DAYS

 

Q: "How can Nicole fix what she has done?" A: Try the supersize tube of Elmer's. #DAYS

 

Daniel and Jennifer make up for the time they've lost.  How do I make up for the cookies I just tossed? #DAYS

 

Nicole catches Daniel & Jennifer in-flagrante, "What are you doing?" What, she doesn't recognize a scene from a Misty Circle movie? #DAYS

Divine Intervention

You know that trip to Mars they want people to take, but they won't be able to return? EJ has graciously volunteered Abby to go #DAYS

 

...In the event Abby refuses, EJ might want to volunteer. #DAYS

 

Eric tells Sami to be quiet. He'd better go back to the priesthood; he needs divine intervention for that. #DAYS

 

Jennifer: "I am not going to live in fear any more." Most people would like to hear her say she's not going to live in Salem any more. #DAYS

Angry And Bitter

"Brady, you are angry and bitter," says Eric angrily and bitterly. #DAYS

 

Who died and made Marlena Nicole's inquisitor general? #DAYS

 

JJ says he hasn't done anything to break Jennifer's trust.  Then spends the rest of the episode telling her how he broke her trust. #DAYS

 

Abby says EJ only had sex with her because he wasn't getting any at home, then says it was because they felt a mutual bond. #confused #DAYS

The Crocodile And Captain Hook

Why are Abby and EJ like the crocodile in Peter Pan & Captain Hook? Once you've had a little taste you can't stop chasing after more. #DAYS

 

Gabi insists Nick has changed.  His socks, maybe... #DAYS

 

Nicole is trying out her Beverly Hillbillies Jane Hathaway hair-do today. #DAYS

 

EJ says it was tough staying out of Sami's bed.  Most men take a cold shower. EJ's shower wasn't quite so cold. #DAYS

The "L" On His Forehead

Abby says she knows Sami always forgives EJ.  I think this time he's raised the bar on forgiveness. #DAYS

 

Will & Sonny's engagement rings look like normal wedding rings to me.  #DAYS

 

Lucas talks about changing his name.  If he did he'd have to change the "L" on his forehead. It does stand for "Lucas," right? #DAYS

 

JJ to Theresa: "I can see right through you."  Her blouse, too. #DAYS

Delivering Pizza To The Streetwalkers

JJ gets community service.  In Salem, community service is delivering pizzas to the streetwalkers. #DAYS

 

Gabi notes Sami lied about Sydney and EJ kidnapped her.  Sami brushes it off... she and EJ don't sweat the small stuff. #DAYS

 

Nick tells EJ what he knows so EJ will know where Nick stands. If Nick doesn't shut up, he may not be standing much longer. #DAYS

 

Sami says her relationship with EJ is different than Gabi's relationship w/Nick. For one thing Sami hasn't tried to kill EJ... lately. #DAYS

A Dick And Jane First Grade Reader

Brady plays nice with Theresa.  Go back to cocaine, Brady — it's less dangerous. #DAYS

 

...on the other hand, Theresa needs to stay away from Brady.  His girlfriends have a tendency to wind up in the cemetery. #DAYS

 

Eric says you just have to accept God's plan. So God's plan must be for him to quit the priesthood and hook up with Nicole. #DAYS

 

With the whole world telling JJ everything would be fine he's lucky he didn't get the electric chair. #DAYS

 

Daniel wonders if he's easy to read.  Like a Dick And Jane First Grade Reader. #DAYS

The Bic Boutique

Of course, when Hope said she'd never have to deal with Aidan again that was his cue to come onto the scene. #DAYS

 

Sami says Nick is who he has always been.  Unlike Roman Brady. #DAYS

 

Daniel asks if Nicole found anything to clear Eric.  Nicole backpedals like Brian London against Muhammad Ali. #DAYS

 

Gabi buys Nick's BS. If they gave her a penny for her thoughts she'd have to give them change. #DAYS

 

So Rafe giving Jordan a cheap pen finally got her in bed?  Guys everywhere head for the Bic Boutique for Valentine's presents. #DAYS

In Too Deep

Nick wants to make up for the mistakes he's made. One of which as far as the gals are concerned is coming back to life. #DAYS

 

Roman lists the million things the SPD has gone after Stefano for.  Yet he's still walking the streets free. Imagine that. #Incompetence #DAYS

 

Eric says God doesn't want him to serve as a priest.  Of course not. God obviously would rather he hook up with a former porn star. #DAYS

 

Jordan says if Rafe's in too deep she's right there with him.  If he's in bed... not so much. #DAYS

They Can Also Bake Brownies

Sonny says Gabi can talk to him when she can't talk to others. I guess this closeness stems from the time when they hated each other. #DAYS

 

Sami expresses her love for EJ. EJ, however is a guy, so she's not expressing it in the right way.  She has her clothes on. #DAYS

 

Sami rushes off so Abby and EJ can get busy.  They can also bake Brownies. #DAYS

 

Marlena says marriage can go wrong or right.  In her case, she always went with "wrong." #DAYS

All Worked Up

Sami says EJ couldn't come to Johnny's game because of work.  Well, he was, in fact, all worked up. #DAYS

 

Hey, Nicole, way to cower and snivel like a schoolgirl while some guy tries to beat the crap out of Daniel. #DAYS

 

Daniel: "The clock is ticking and it's the 4th quarter." Yeah, and he and Nicole are Denver. #DAYS

 

Kate sneezes in Lucas' face. Can you spread STD's by sneezing? #DAYS

Basket Case

When you look "basket case" up in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of Gabi. #DAYS

 

Gabi: "If someone tells me to stay calm one more time, I'm going to lose it." You're way past losing it, honey. #DAYS

 

Rafe gives Lucas the ole high-expectations thumbs-up. Too bad for them by the end of the evening their thumbs are all that'll be up. #DAYS

 

Lucas clears the air. Tonight he & Sheryl are friends.  At work he gets to be Simon Lucas-Gree. #DAYS

Impending Disaster

JJ & Theresa can take each other down, or not. With a combined IQ lower than the outside temperature, they both might be going down. #DAYS

 

Jennifer says both her kids are walking on the edge. With any luck someone will push them both off. #DAYS

 

Maggie tells Abby she doesn't mean to pry. That's because with Maggie prying is an involuntary reaction. #DAYS

 

JJ says everything should go well in court then says everything's looking up. Do we need any more clues of impending disaster? #DAYS

Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness Isn't Always True

Sami's with EJ; Abby's in the shower proving the old adage "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" isn't always true. #DAYS

 

After punking Theresa, one more jive move and JJ and the clerk would have gone straight to the Dancing With The Stars finals. #DAYS

 

Sami, headed into the changing room: "I won't see anything I haven't seen before." True, but the potential was certainly there. #DAYS

 

Sami to Carl: "Some men just don't like stickin' it to a woman." She might have found out differently if she had peeked in the shower. #DAYS