From Bar Wench to Corporate Tycoon

Kate goes from bar wench to corporate tycoon in one conversation with Alex. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "You can tell me anything." Johnny: "OK… your fly is open." #DAYS

Phillip to Xander: "What were you thinking when you came into my hospital room and tried to murder me?" Just a guess but I suppose he was thinking he would come into your hospital room and murder you. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "There is some personal erotic stuff in the romance novel I wrote." Jada: "Like what?" Stephanie: "Like… it's practically a diary." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad and Cat continue to insist they aren't interested in each other while they go engagement ring shopping.

Kate: "Have we acquired the rights to 'One Stormy Night?'" Alex, "No, but I think there is something I can do with Stephanie tonight." And after he does that, I wonder if he'll work on getting the rights to the book. #DAYS

Slipping Into A String Bikini

Sarah to Xander: "There isn't a judge in their right mind that would give you custody of Victoria." What judge in Salem is in their right mind?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "We have no budget for a model. What are we supposed to do, pick up some rando off the street?" Johnny: "Sure. I'm great at doing that. In fact, that's how I found Joy." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "OK. I'm in. I'll be your model for the new campaign." Johnny: "Great. Let's start with you slipping into a string bikini." #DAYS

Gabi: "We put out a line last year inspired by the Cowboy Carter album." Then Beyonce sued them. #DAYS

Irresponsible Sluts

Marlena promises Rachel she will keep the secret that Johnny shot EJ – Immediately blabs it to Roman. #DAYS

Alex to Johnny: "Are you saying this company could go under?" Well… it was named after the Titanic. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Melinda: "I have been in your situation myself." Sophia: "You mean you were pregnant at a young age?" Melinda: "Yes. We're both irresponsible sluts." #DAYS

I don't see how Brady can have a mistrust of Melinda's professional ethics. How can he mistrust her ethics when she doesn't have any? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "Kate thinks 'One Stormy Night' could be a runaway best seller." Stephanie: "Really… a best seller?" Alex: "Either that or a sex manual." #DAYS

Disappearances, Separations, and Infidelity

Andrew and Paul have one-in-the-oven. Don't get excited, it's not medical history. Chanel is baking their wedding cake. dd

Sophia doubles over in pain. Tate: "Is it the baby?" Well, it ain't gas. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rachel: "Sometimes I see things I shouldn't." Sarah: "What do you see?" Rachael: "I see dead people." Sarah: "This is Salem. Get used to it." #DAYS

Shiny wingtips are walking the streets of Salem. I'm terrified. #DAYS

Gabi to Chad: "You like Cat Green? As in 'like-like?'" I think he's approaching the 'like-like-like' level. #DAYS

Andrew to Kayla: "If my marriage to Paul is anything like yours we'll be very lucky." I guess he considers multiple disappearances, separations and infidelity lucky." #DAYS

Where Sanity Goes To Die

Tom and Alice discover Addie is pregnant. They'd better start making plans to keep that Doug Williams kid away from both her and her daughter. #DAYS

That was one low budget wedding ceremony. #DAYS

Bo to Hope: "You were my first love and you will be my last. Billie and Carly will be in between that. #DAYS

Phillip: "There are a lot of crazy people out there." It's Salem… where sanity goes to die. #DAYS

One Roll In The Hay

Gabi to Javi: "What do you want to come back to work for me? A raise? A promotion? A Ferrari?" Take the Ferrari. #DAYS

One roll in the hay and Ari is practically head over heels in love with Doug III. #DAYS

Leo extends an olive branch to Will. Even after he and Sonny carried Leo's dead body out of the living room rolled up in a carpet. #DAYS

Holly is wait-listed at the Sorbonne? Elle a jusqu a Septembre devenir fluid in Francaise. #DAYS

Holly is the salutatorian? I think in her case that means she has to be the one to salute the valedictorian. #DAYS

In-Flagrante-Delicto-Interruptus

Next on #DOOL — Jack: "Abigail, I know you're in heaven, just like you were when you took your shower with EJ… #DAYS

Hope tells Bo that Alice and Tom have been watching over the town all these years. Given the way things have been going in Salem, I'd say they're doing a lousy job of it. #DAYS

Now that John is gone, who is next for Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black-Unknown? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie gives Alex a picture of them together: "I thought I'd add a little charm to your office." Alex: "It would add even more charm if you were wearing a bikini." #DAYS

Kate walks in on Alex and Stephanie in-flagrante-delicto-interruptus. #DAYS

Marlena's Menagerie of Husbands

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "Do I understand there is some kind of strain between you and EJ?" Johnny: "Don't worry about that. The next time I try to shoot him my aim will be better." #DAYS

Rachel doesn't want to say goodbye to Grandpa John. Given what a little brat she is the whole family would probably rather say goodbye to her. #DAYS

Three words I did not want to see at the end of this maudlin show… "To be continued." #DAYS

Eric: "Presiding over John's service is one of the great honors of my life." It stands right up there with being defrocked. #DAYS

Carrie: "Blending as a family is hard, but John and Marlena did it." Through multiple marriages and Marlena's menagerie of other husbands. #DAYS

John cites Belle's "love of fun." Right now she's having a lot of fun with EJ. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — John is my one true love," says Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black. #DAYS

Some Fun... With A Guy

Part One? Is it 1965? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ari: "I went out and had some fun… with a guy." Tate: "I'm guessing that by 'fun' you don't mean you were playing miniature golf." #DAYS

Paul: "Dad had some really cool spy stuff." No kidding… I think I saw a Captain Marvel decoder ring in that collection. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "That's John's Mickey Mantle baseball card. The Yankees were his favorite team." Rachel: "When he took me to the Cubs game he said the Cubs were his favorite team." Brady: "When kids lie, they get punished. When adults lie, they get what they want." #DAYS

Rachael: "Are you my brother's new girlfriend?" Ari: "No. We're cousins." With all the convoluted relationships in Salem, that doesn't seem to matter. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Julie tries to have Cat arrested for attempted murder for taking Chad skydiving. #DAYS

Ari: "I went out and had some fun… with a guy." (Translation: "I got laid.") Tate: "Don't wind up like me. I got a girl pregnant." (Translation "So did I.") #DAYS

Playing With Dolls

Rafe: "Arianna isn't exactly playing with dolls any more." Yep. Doug III is no doll. #DAYS

Chad: "Eleanor Roosevelt said, 'You should do something every day that scares you.'" I do. I watch #DOOL. Oh, waitaminute… she said "scares," not "bores." #DAYS

Cat: "Skydiving makes you feel alive." Until you hit the ground. If your chute fails it leaves you flat. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Doug III: "How old are you?" Arianna: "I'm 18." Doug III: "Whew! I'm glad you aren't underage. I could have been in real trouble for having sex with you. Thank God." God: "Don't thank me. The law may have its standards, but my standards are higher." #DAYS

A Former Serial Killer

Next on #DOOL — Roman: "What's wrong?" Kayla: "John died." Roman: "Again?" #DAYS

Roman: "With John dying I feel like I lost part of myself." You did since at one point John WAS you. #DAYS

The fool's parade marching through Marlena's apartment should consider she possibility that she might want some privacy right now. #DAYS

Marlena: "I take thee, John, for better or worse, in sickness or health, richer or poorer. Just FYI, I prefer better, health, and richer." #DAYS

Ciara to Bo: "Ben is a great guy." Except for being a former serial killer. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ciara: "We have some bad news about Victor." Bo: "What, he's still alive?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Hope: "I don't want Bo to know John died." Shawn: "OK, we can tell him at the funeral." #DAYS

The Soapiest Soap Opera Episode Ever

Patch: "John never gives up." Oh yeah? The entire week is going to be dedicated to John giving up. #DAYS

Marlena to John: "The day you stole my heart is the day my life began." It was also the day they nearly broke the conference table romping on it. #DAYS

John has died so many times he should be used to it by now. #DAYS

My favorite memory of John is when Roman was Chris Kositchek and John was Roman. #DAYS

Shouldn't Bo be meeting Zack under the wheels of Chelsea's SUV? #DAYS

This episode is so maudlin I'm ready to trade places with John. Just make it quick. #DAYS

If you look closely you can see a tire track on Zack's forehead. #DAYS

#DOOL wins a "Soapy" for the sopiest soap opera episode ever. #DAYS