Cold Enough To Wake The Dead

Down goes Nick. Fallon the felon has fallen. #DAYS

 

I guess the Salem River is cold enough to wake the dead... temporarily, anyway. #DAYS

 

Will wonders what's more important than Sami running his life. Ending someone else's. #DAYS

 

Will tells Lucas nothing is really simple anymore.  Except Lucas. #DAYS

The Jan Spears Memorial Rock

So they send Nicole to interview a guy she's had a relationship with and worked for. Can you say #ConflctOfInterest ?? #DAYS

 

Caroline to Victor: "YOU SOB!" I'm guessing she's not there to invite him to Thanksgiving dinner. #DAYS

 

What a coincidence: Gabi conks Nick with the Jan Spears memorial rock. #DAYS

 

Update on Jan Spears: they've moved her to the vegetable section of the Salem Supermarket. #DAYS

Sing It, Sister

Wouldn't it be great if Daniel and Jennifer had a pistol duel at 15 paces and both lost? #DAYS

 

Oh, JJ, I thought you were hip. That's an OLD iPad you're using. Those models are soooo 2012. #DAYS

 

Sami: "Nick's not getting away with this." Kate: "Sing it, sister." Sami: "♫ Nick's not ♪ getting away with this ♫" #DAYS

 

Nick runs on about arranging Gabi's NY job—The following commercial break was to allow time for Nick to get his foot out of his mouth. #DAYS

Two Lost Souls, Four Lips

Daniel and Nicole... two lost souls, four lips. #DAYS

 

Eric says he really doesn't feel like talking. Surprise, Eric, when Jennifer's talkin' everybody's talkin'. #DAYS

 

Sami: "Gabi, I'm not attacking you." Translation: "I'm bribing you." #DAYS

 

Will thinks it's unfair to have to choose between Sonny and Arianna. But somehow it's OK for Sonny to choose between Will and the club #DAYS

Exoneration On Tablets Of Stone

Will tells Sami he and Sonny don't want to get into it over Gabi's job. That's like holding red meat in front of a hungry lion. #DAYS

 

Eric thinks if Kristin shows up she'll help clear him?. He has a better chance of God sending down exoneration on tablets of stone. #DAYS

 

Sonny wonders if he just saw Sami back off. You just saw her head out to find Gabi and blow her stack. #DAYS

 

Marlena: "Go to hell." Vic: "I'll meet you at the gate." Actually, they're thinking of naming one of the circles in hell "Salem." #DAYS

 

Victor hasn't read the Guy Manual chapter "Things never to say to a woman." — "You'll come to your senses," is one of them. #DAYS

Wrestling With Kristin

EJ asks Sami where the children are.  It's the right question to ask, but he asked the wrong person. #DAYS

 

Sonny calls Gabi a selfish bitch. Gabi protests, but only about being called selfish. #DAYS

 

Bishop White says he needs to hear from Eric what happened.  I'd say the video is kind of self-explanatory.

 

Caroline: "The pub is empty. That's not a good sign." It is if you've ever been the victim of her chowdah. #DAYS

 

Father Matt says many priests wrestle with celibacy. Bishop White thinks it looks more like Eric was wrestling with Kristin. #DAYS

 

EJ moves in and backs away. He almost turned the tables on Sami's "cutting it off" strategy. #DAYS

A Big Family Hug

In Sami's dream, EJ asks her to let him get it out before she says anything. I hope he's talking about the words he wants to say. #DAYS

 

Shane, Kimberly, Kayla, Caroline, Hope Roman all gang up on Theresa. This is either going to be a big family hug on an intervention... #DAYS

 

...But on #DOOL all interventions end in family hugs anyway. #DAYS

 

Will says if anyone knows a contract it's Justin. Why... Because he's written so many bad ones? #DAYS

A Misty Circle Film Festival

Sami wants blueprints for a guillotine. They're obsolete... Not guillotines, I mean blueprints.  Now they use computer design. #DAYS

 

Sami was a bit too indignant about Kristin with her corresponding escapade with Austin hanging over her like the sword of Damocles. #DAYS

 

Nicole wonders if the Eric-Kristin video was NC-17. Nope. It was as bad as a Misty Circle film festival. #DAYS

 

Sami sees Kristin's message on EJ's phone. Don't people in Salem lock their phones? #DAYS

Shocking and Cruel

Eric wants Kristin to repent.  To Kristin repentance is being sorry... only if she's caught. #DAYS

 

Kayla pulls Johnny away to show him how to apply the ointment. Translation: get the kid off the set. #DAYS

 

Maggie tells Daniel about the wedding: "It was so shocking and cruel..." that she couldn't wait to spread it all over town. #DAYS

 

Kristin sucker-punches Nicole then turns tail and runs.  Apparently she's been learning a few things from Lucas. #DAYS

Amoral, Sick Sexual Predator

Rootin' Tootin' Kristin pulls out a gun. I know gun control is a controversial issue but no doubt in Salem we need nut control. #DAYS

 

Eric vs. Brady. Kristin vs. Marlena. Weddings always make people stop and contemplate the joys of life. #DAYS

 

"Your son is an amoral, sick sexual predator," says Kristin the amoral, sick sexual predator. #DAYS

 

Rory wants JJ to come over and get naked with him and Bev? You need to think this through, Rory. #DAYS

Turning The Other Cheek

T puts the moves on Abby, continuing the death-spiral that is her love life. #DAYS

 

When it comes to Marlena, Father Eric isn't exactly turning the other cheek.  #DAYS

 

Jordan says she's tired of running. I'm tired of watching, but we don't always get what we want. #DAYS

 

Victor: "Eric can't keep it zipped better than the rest of us." Careful, Vic, or Maggie will keep yours zipped permanently. #DAYS

The Wedding Of Shame

Kristin sees the video and drops her flowers.  Not to worry. She was actually deflowered long ago. #DAYS

 

And if you live in Salem and you're not at the wedding of shame... YOU LOSE! #DAYS

 

Brady yells: "TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" The audience responds: "LEAVE IT ON! LEAVE IT ON!" #DAYS

 

Jordan about Rafe: "He's a patient... that's all." Translation: The ice woman begins to thaw. #DAYS

 

I hope Father Matt can perform exorcisms because Eric looks like he's going to need one. #DAYS

The Sucky Bus

Jen thinks Daniel banged Theresa just to hurt her. Right — When men are chasing tail that's all they think about: "Who will this hurt?" #DAYS

 

Sami wants answers from EJ. She's using the "when you want something from a man, fuse your body to his" interrogation technique. #DAYS

 

Victor says Kristin has the morals of an alley cat.  An insult to alley cats everywhere. #DAYS

 

Victor calls Kristin a succubus referring, no doubt, to the sucky bus he's about to throw her under. #DAYS

Cave Paintings

Daniel insists Eric isn't thinking straight. That makes sense.  Thinking straight requires thinking. #DAYS

 

Eric says he advises against straying from traditional vows. Irrelevant for Brady & Kristin since they've strayed so much already." #DAYS

 

Marlena doesn't like being at the mercy of technology. That's because when she was born cave paintings were state-of-the-art." #DAYS

 

Kristin tells EJ not to judge her... then judges him for doing far worse. #DAYS

YOLO

Marlena thinks it would be just like Kristin to download a virus. Or for Eric to pick one up having sex with her. #DAYS

 

Jordan says this excursion could be helping Rafe's mental state. If her mental state is Texas, his mental state is Rhode Island. #DAYS

 

Daniel kicks Jennifer to the curb. What a coincidence. It's the same curb he landed on when she kicked him out. #DAYS

 

Daring Jordan has a cookie and a half. #yolo #DAYS

The Flash Is Out Of That Drive

The way this storyline is dragging out I'd have to say the flash is out of that drive. #DAYS

 

When Marlena and Kristin were kids there was no such thing as a flash drive... carrier pigeons were state-of-the-art. #DAYS

 

Hey, Marlena, why not look at what's on the flash drive instead of sitting there talking to it? #DAYS

 

NBC breaks into the show with a word from the news anchor: "Marlena, WATCH THE FREAKING FLASH DRIVE ALREADY!" #DAYS