The Return Of Dr. Cop-a-feel

Would you title this episode "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" or "How  to Fondle Your Pistol"? #DAYS

 

The rain was so loud I couldn't hear some of the dialogue.  Not that I  missed much I'm sure. #DAYS

 

Nicole: "I know I'm going over and over and over this." Audience: AMEN! #DAYS

 

Roman: "How many times do we have to have this conversation?" Audience:  AMEN! #DAYS

 

It looks like midnight out there. What psychiatrist sees a patient at that time? #DAYS

 

On a fashion note: like the neon rainbow of raincoats. #DAYS

 

Why would you come up to someone & try to grab a sack out of their hands? #BadForm #DAYS

 

The CIA isn't happy with the SPD.  Who is? Maybe Salem criminals who have nothing to fear from the feckless police force?

 

Poor Daniel, trying to talk sense to Nicole.  He might as well be speaking in tongues.  #DAYS

 

Nicole: "Sorry, I just keep going over and over and over…"  And over and over and over and…..  #DAYS

 

Dr. Cop-A-Feel is back, employing his usual bedside manner to bear in order to "help" Nicole….right into aforesaid bed no doubt. #DAYS

 

Daniel catches Nicole red-handed. Now EVERYONE in Salem has switched DNA tests. #DAYS

 

Inside scoop: Wasn't supposed to rain in the show today, but the studio sprinklers went off & budget was too tight to re-shoot. #DAYS

 

Why don't all these idiots just wear a sign that says, "I'm going to kill Stefano" ?? #DAYS

 

Abby asks if Melanie thinks she's nuts. Does a bear poop in the woods? #DAYS

The Muffin Anniversary

Jack & Jen: 1st anniversary is paper, 25th is silver, 50th is gold... which one is muffin? #DAYS

 

Will, sometimes the best way to shut Sami up is to let her run on until she runs out of gas. #DAYS

 

Lexie asks EJ to give the Mayor's office back to Abe. To hell with the voters. #DAYS

Ouch!

On Memorial Day the citizens of Salem gather to remember those who have passed on... and come back from the dead. #Days

 

Bo says he doesn't know what he'd do if he lost Hope.  Well, the last time he lost her he did Carly. #Days

 

Anybody out there get fooled by that Sarah crap? Besides Abby the town dummkopf, that is... ~~~~~crickets~~~~~ #Days

 

Stefano asks if EJ loves Nicole why he cheated on her with Samantha.  Ouch!  Don't confuse the poor guy with facts. #Days

A Cowpie Of Distortion

Happy-go-lucky Austin's view of things is a "cowpie of distortion." Not original. I heard that one and just HAD to use it. #Days

 

Marlena says she's there for Lexie when she wants to talk about her illness. Marlena — always soliciting business. #Days

 

Nicole to Rafe: "All you can say to Carrie is see you later? Didn't you have something more to add?" Alligator? #Days

 

John wonders what he could do to make Lexie feel better.  Shut up and leave?  #Days

 

Kate: "We put our differences aside when it comes to the kids." HA! When it comes to the kids, Sami puts the kids aside. #Days

HoBo's Rose

Opening scene: Bo gently caresses Hope's face with a white rose. The rose turns black, shrivels and dies. #Days

 

Will wonders what he can do that the police can't. For starters... think. #Days

 

I wanted to see Bo dive in for a heapin-helpin of Hope and get stuck by that rose. #Days

 

EJ threatens to strangle Stefano & put his body on the table as a centerpiece. With an apple in his mouth? #Days

Stefano Lives To Torment Us Another Day

Rafe tells Nicole Stefano lives to torment us another day. Yeah, and #DOOL lives to torment us eternally.

Marlena says they almost died for nothing. It wasn't for nothing. It was for ratings & the scheme bombed as big as the safe house. #Days

If Celeste is such a great psychic, how come she has to ask what Stefano has done to Lexie? #Days

Nicole's pet name for him is Rafie-poo?  Yeah, poo for brains. #Days

Meltdown In Sami's Kitchen

Lucas cooks dinner.  It's a meltdown in Sami's kitchen that for once doesn't involve a lot of yelling from Sami. #Days

 

Marlena to Hope: "I could kiss you on the mouth for what you did." Eeeeuuuwww. I wasn't ready for that image during lunch. #Days

 

If the collective IQ of the SPD officers was any lower we'd have to water them.  Uh, apologies to plants everywhere for the comparison #Days

Bo Nevski

Why is Lexie blindfolded? They always blindfold the condemned. #Days

 

Sami, respectfully, STFU AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! #Days

 

Who among us wouldn't know Nevski is Bo? The same ones who wouldn't know Clark Kent is Superman. #Days

 

Carrie wonders if something is really wrong with her. Oh, God, where do we start? #Days

John Black, Wealthy Industrialist

Sami says she needs a second to gather her thoughts. That's about how long it'll take. #Days

EJ says Sami should tell Will he loves her. She's been saying that since EJ's Sami-ramification and Will just says he hates her. #Days

I saw through that 'Paris' thing from the start. It's not that I'm smart. It's that the writing is dumb. #Days

Kayla says her patients inspire her. Yeah, that's why she's tending bar these days. #Days

Ian Slips Brady A Mickey

Sami wonders why Will would say he's gay. Uh, because he's gay? #Days

 

OMG. Sami freaked at Will's news but Lucas empathizes and acts like a rational adult.  I almost didn't recognize him. #Days

 

Ian slips Brady a Mickey. Which, in Salem, means forcing a bad lawyer on someone. #Days

 

Nicole says she never wants anything to do with EJ again. That'll change when he stops chasing her. #Days

Google-eyed, giddy, green with envy Gabi

Will, smarter than the average soap character, seems to see through Gabi's stalker story as the load of b.s. it is.  #Days

 

Maggie now owns the spa!? That sure came out of left field. What happened to [forgot his name]? #Days

 

John is antsy because he's been in the safe house for a few Days.  Apparently it's a lot worse than being paralyzed for three years. #Days

 

Chad: "I'll never be like Stefano." Translation: He'll be double-dealing and back-stabbing in no time.  #Days

 

Lucas/Sami:  An argument in search of a reason. #TimeWasting #Days

 

Shane comes to Salem & immediately becomes as brainless & incompetent as the SPD. Must be something in the water. #Days

 

 

Watching the big brain trust at the safe house trying to come up with  a plan is like watching a train wreck. #Days

 

If the ISA is so low on manpower they're struggling because of the  loss of Squints and Bope they might as well fold. #Days

 

I think any kid with a junior detective kit could've cracked the big  ISA safe. #Days

 

Of course they had Maggie buy the spa. They made the set (there's only  the lobby) & they have to get more use from it. #Days

 

Can't wait to see how badly Sami handles Will's news. #Days

 

 

Sami's switch seems to have two settings: "Off" and "Nuke." #Days

 

I've got a piggy bank that's not as easy to break into as that cop shop safe. #Days

 

John works Marlena's last nerve. He can be a little irritating, can't he, PAL? #Days

 

 

Coward Carrie's Confession Craps-out

Austin asks Roman which room in the safe house is Carrie's. Just follow the slurping sounds. #Days

 

EJ tells Billie not to insult his intelligence.  No problem. Billie's insults are never that small. #Days

 

Hope assures Shane she knows jewelry.  Be sure to watch for replicas of the coin to appear on HSN any day. #Days

 

Cameron assures Lexie that Theo will be OK when he grows up. Sure, if they can get him out of Salem. #Days

 

Rafe figures out that Carrie didn't tell Austin. Not too hard to guess that. Carrie already proved she's a coward. #Days

A New And Improved Vendetta

John says he's researching DiMera's known associates. Just how would he research DiMera's unknown associates? #Days

 

Rafe & Carrie get hot n' heavy then Carrie brings it to a halt. The Brady girls carry the tease gene. #Days

 

Will says he'd never go to Sami for advice. Marlena, the possessed suspected serial killer is a much better counselor. #Days

The Wake

The aftermath of the Salem massacre continues...

 

Victor apologizes.  Kayla: "That's OK. We're all crazy today." Just like every other day. #Days

 

Jennifer tells the crowd Hope talks with her hands. Unfortunately, she talks with her mouth, too. #Days

 

Today's episode was supposed to be a wake. An odd name since I spent most of it asleep.

A World-Class Bastard

Melanie tries to entice Chad away from the motorcycle magazines.  Hey, one ride's as good as another. #Days

 

Yeah, everyone grieves except Sami who desperately searches for someone to blame. #Days

 

Stefano claims he never wanted them dead. That's why he planted a bomb in a house they couldn't get out of, I guess. #Days

 

Melanie gives Chad black herbal tea & says it'll help him sleep. Until he has to get up and pee, that is. #Days

The last time there was an explosion in Salem:

Ruthless And Conniving

Ian says the last thing Kate is, is a fool.  The first thing, too. #Days

 

Sami calls Lucas to talk about "what happened." Sami does it so much she can use her standard "what happened" script. #Days

 

Hope: "The timer went off. What does that mean?" Shane: "It means you don't have time to watch that 60-minutes episode you recorded." #Days

 

For women viewers only: Sniveling basket-case Carrie has set your gender back 100 years. #DOOL #Days

 

Rafe tells Carrie he loves her.  Once you've had a taste of a Brady girl, you're wrecked for life. #DOOL #Days

 

Roman tells Shane there has to be something they can do. Yeah, run like hell before the explosion. #Days

Fw: Keystone Kops Guide To Disarming Bombs

Lexie says she knows Chad has been keeping his distance from the family. Soon there will be less family to keep his distance from. #Days

 

Carrie is always cool under pressure.  As long as the pressure is nothing more than a hangnail. #Days

 

Kate tells Brady she and Ian go way back.  In fact I think they were the star couple on the original American Bandstand episode. #Days

 

Bo wonders if they should tell their families about the bomb. Nah, there'll be plenty if time to do that at the mass funeral. #Days

I'm With Sami In Every Way

What Sami says: "We make a good team." What Lucas processes: "We [BOOBS] make [BOOBS] a [BOOBS] good [BOOBS] team." #Days

 

Roman says he still cares about Kate. Translation: "If you're running around on Stefano, why not give a needy guy like me a chance?" #Days

 

Weren't you proud the way Carrie held it together in today's episode? The coward dies 1,000 deaths, the brave one dies but once. #Days

 

Lucas says he's with Sami in every way.  Translation... oh, you don't need a translation, do you? #Days

If John Goes Rogue

Brady learns Nicole is preggers with Rafe's baby & says she wasn't thinking.  Nicky not thinking shouldn't be a surprise at all. #Days

 

Marlena and John play cards. Coincidentally, Marlena has the old maid and John has the crazy 8. #Days

 

Marlena says if John goes rogue, there's no telling who will get hurt.  Most likely it will be John. #Days

 

Brady says maybe Rafe will be the one for Nicole. Nicole has already found her one true love — many, many times over. #Days