The Horizontal Level

Summer to Brady: "Do you know how weird this is?" In Salem, weird is the new normal. (Old normal, too, for that matter). #DAYS

 

Brady tells Summer Salem is full of good people. Except for the rapists, murderers, crime bosses, ex-prostitutes... #DAYS

 

JJ and Gabi take things to a new level... the horizontal level. #DAYS

Where Intelligence Goes To Die

Victor couldn't sleep? Maybe it would help if he got out of the suit & tie? #DAYS

GREAT WORK HOPE! Now not only is Rafe an accomplice but so is Roman. #DAYS

The fire alarm is blaring and no one is checking patient rooms. Salem Hospital where patients AND intelligence go to die. #DAYS

The Annual Conspiracy Theorists Convention

Kayla tries to prove she didn't attack Ava by freaking out and attempting to attack her. #DAYS

 

Chase should turn himself in. A jail cell would be nicer than the dump where André has him staying. #DAYS

 

Lani bumps into Paul, who knows Theo. There are more coincidences on #DAYS than are discussed at the Annual Conspiracy Theorists Convention.

Guys Love Things Like That

Summer says Daniel saved her life. She might want to give Brady a little credit for doing the same after she went for her "swim." #DAYS

 

Summer says her connection with Daniel wasn't romantic. There are some lines even #DOOL writers won't cross—they've come close, tho. #DAYS

 

Theresa: "I'M GONNA COLLECT BRADY AND TAKE HIM STRAIGHT BACK TO SALEM." Haul him out of the bar by his ear—Guys love things like that. #DAYS

Baked

 

Higher Than A Kite

 

When Purses Are Outlawed...

Ava invites JJ into the shower with her. Who does she think he is, Abigail? #DAYS

 

Ava uses her purse as a weapon and coldcocks JJ.  When purses are outlawed only outlaws will have purses. #DAYS

 

Ava gives JJ the slip. He'll make an outstanding Salem cop. #DAYS

Cap'n Billy's Whiz Bang GPS Locator

Patch had sex with Ava so she'd free Kayla.  Turns out he'd be better off if she was still locked up. #DAYS

 

André says Salem is a police state.  Given their police department, the anarchists must be in charge. #DAYS

 

I know you wonder how Nicole found Brady on a remote beach. He carries his Cap'n Billy's Whiz Bang GPS Locator with him at all times. #DAYS

I Banged Her For You

 

Hoe Bag vs. Ho-Bag

 

Bitterness

Brady strolls along the beach. Eric Martsolf thinks, "I can't believe they pay me to do this." #DAYS

 

Kayla gets the video of Steve & Ava having sex. I'll bet she doesn't share that on her FaceBook page. #DAYS

 

Steve walks in and sees Kayla seething: "Sweetness?" From now on I think "Bitterness" would be more appropriate." #DAYS

He Takes Her Breath Away

 

Go Ahead, Make My Day

 

Things To Do In Salem

 

That Murderous Harpy And Her Lovelorn Poodle

Kayla says she'll be spoiled if she keeps getting attention. I think she got more than attention in the back room with Steve. #DAYS

 

Rafe wants to know if there is concrete evidence Hope murdered Stefano. For one thing, her accomplice has concrete for a brain. #DAYS

 

Chad asks who André means by, "That murderous harpy and her lovelorn poodle." Didn't they win Best of Show at Westminster last night? #DAYS

If You See Jennifer...

JJ sure looks hot in the cop uniform. On the other hand it's pretty cold so maybe he does need the heavy jacket. #DAYS

 

Hope wants to take care of André once and for all.  So much for any regret about being a murderer. #DAYS

 

Hey, if any of you guys see Jennifer, be sure to say 'hi.' Well... I guess in her case, you'd better make that 'high.' #DAYS

High

 

A Rotting Carcass

Deimos' Valentine's Day gift to Kate. Five words: In-a-prop-ri-ate. OR let's-get-nak-ed-now. #DAYS

 

Nicole to Brady: "You know Theresa doesn't want us together, right?" Brady's wealthy. He has many things. A clue is not one of them. #DAYS

 

Buzzards circle a rotting carcass... Oh, wait, no. I'm sorry, that's Deimos and Eduardo sniffing around Kate. #DAYS

Valentine's Day Observations

Daniel: The first guy ever to think of Valentine's Day a month in advance. #DAYS

 

Brady: Forgets to order flowers for Valentine's Day... that's more like it. #DAYS

 

Chad to Abby: "A love like ours comes once in a lifetime." Only if EJ is dead and Ben's in prison. #DAYS

Happy Valentine's Day

 

Detrimental Things

 

He'll See Her Again

Steve comes home. Kayla: "Tell me what happened." Both the Guy Manual and Prevuze advise against it. Just sayin'. #DAYS

 

Ava trashes her room.  Well, that'll certainly teach Patch a thing or two. #DAYS

 

Ava texts Patch: "You won't see me again." Translation: He'll see her again. #DAYS

Phantom Of The Soap Opera

Victor thinks Phillip has been distracted by "some damn woman." That would be Belle, wouldn't it?" #DAYS

 

André says people look away from his distorted face. He needs a mask... he could be the Phantom of the Soap Opera. #DAYS

 

Victor says Phillip has thrown away everything. Wrong. He hasn't thrown away his fake leg. #DAYS

Show Us Your Boobs!

When guys at Mardi Gras today held up a sign saying "Show us your boobs," someone brought out the entire #DOOL writing staff. #DAYS

 

Theresa's already pawning off Tate on sitters.  In Salem being a 'helicopter parent' is when you see the kid once a week. #DAYS

 

So Fynn's stolen camera had "creative videos." Date Fynn... become an Internet sensation overnight. #DAYS

Sleeping With The Fishes

Rafe just sashays into the DiMera mansion. In real life he'd be sleeping with the fishes. #DAYS

 

Rhetorical Q: If you're the TPTB how do you write around the fact that Hope & Rafe are a cold blooded killer & imbecilic accomplice? #DAYS

 

Kayla to Joey: "Ava used you." Not as much as Joey wanted her to use him. #DAYS

His Warped Mind

Nicole calls Brady "Daniel."  Brady gives her a dirty look.  I guess his heart's just not in it. #DAYS

 

Jennifer goes upstairs and comes back higher than that building that crushed Stefano. #DAYS 

 

Roman tells JJ he got through the academy at warp speed.  That was probably because he made full use of his warped mind. #DAYS

Panties

Deimos hears the apartment's previous tenant was a serial killer.  Suddenly it's more valuable to him. #DAYS

 

Phillip: "You were with Shawn, weren't you?" DEAR GOD THE WOMAN WAS WITH HER HUSBAND! OH, THE SCANDAL! #DAYS

 

When Belle was a teen  she wore panties with the day of the week embroidered on them. Now each pair has the name of a different guy. #DAYS

Ava Plays Patch Like A Fiddle

 

Masters Of The Unexpected

JJ to Abby: "You're moving into Stefano's place — Are you nuts?" That's a rhetorical question right? #DAYS

 

Hope says she never expected chase to be so cruel. Chase and his father — masters of the unexpected, especially when it comes to Hope. #DAYS

 

Losing the DiMera mansion would crush Stefano... if he weren't already crushed beneath an imploded building. #DAYS

Daniel's Legacy

 

Happy Valentine's Day

Strumpet

 

No Boundaries

Belle says Eve has overstepped her boundaries. From what I saw in Vegas, I thought Belle had no boundaries. #DAYS

 

When I first heard Theresa and Nicole were going into business together I thought Salem was getting a new house of ill-repute. #DAYS

 

Belle trips, falls into Shawn's arms and that kindles feelings. You're married to him, Belle. It would never work out. #DAYS

Kayla's Desperate Situation

 

Bad Day For Payla Fans