Hockey Pucks And Chain Saws

Tomorrow, of course, is New Year's Day. While most of us will be feasting on football overload, NBC will continue its daily tradition of bringing us a bunch of hockey pucks at the noon hour. Only instead of the hockey pucks of Salem, we'll be watching them fly as the Buffalo Sabres (Canadian spelling, naturally) take on the Pittsburgh Penguins in the first outdoor hockey game in the history of the NHL.

Unfortunately, the National Weather Service has predicted any snow activity will cease by game time. Too bad, because this thing would be a hoot to watch in a raging blizzard. Predictions say game-time temperature will be around the freezing mark, which means the fans in the stands will be miserable until the Labatt Blue starts to kick in, eh? Anyway, I'm sure they won't be as miserable as they would if they were sitting home watching DOOL.

The upshot of all this is there was no feed today and so, no Prevuze.

In the meantime, the Prevuze research team has been hard at work. We've read your comments about the feasibility of a six-foot-two, 205-pound guy like Ford fitting into a water heater and we've responded by looking into the matter. In the basement scene where Billie and Dodd are poking around, we get a clear look at the type of water heater installed at the Theta house. It just seems to be your typical run-of-the-mill type, which you might find in any home instead of the industrial type you might expect to find in a sorority where scads of bathroom hogging girls might test its capacity.

Therefore, our precise scientific measurement has determined that the water heater Max and Chelsea removed from the sorority (allegedly containing Ford's dead body) would be a minimum of a foot shorter than Ford himself. In addition, in case you hadn't guessed, water heaters are not entirely hollow on the inside, but contain pipes, insulation and water heater gizmo type stuff (sorry to use the technical terminology).

Bottom line, we don't think Max and Chelsea could have stuffed Ford into the water heater unless the Thetas also have a heavy-duty trash compactor in the basement (or, at a minimum, that guy from Fargo with his chain saw). However, we will let you draw your own conclusions, using the following scientific scale-diagram:

Have fun on New Year's Eve, gang. Be safe and join us tomorrow for the continued saga of Salem in 2008, which we're sure will be just as miserable and depressing as last year.

2007 Family Of The Year

As we look back at the eventful year of 2007, Prevuze would like to take this opportunity to reflect and make its coveted Family of the Year Award to Lucas Roberts Horton, Sami Brady Roberts Horton Wells DiMera, their young, but mentally more mature son, William Robert Reed Roberts Horton, their twin infants John Roman "Johnny" Wells DiMera, Alice Caroline "Ali" Roberts Horton and, of course, the man who completes this marital exercise in circular logic, EJ Elvis Wells DiMera. Usually, matching monogrammed sweaters accompany this award but, in this case, there is not enough thread in the country for all those initials. We know you will understand.

Not only did Sami and Lucas get married this year, but they also shared two full days of sweaty wedded bliss demolishing buildings in New Orleans prior to everything falling apart. Unfortunately, after that, the home they wrecked was their own. For a while, things went fairly well. Sami popped the twins and it didn't even take too long to figure out who the fathers were. We think.

Anyway, continuing the saga, Sami dumped father number one, and married father number two. Meanwhile Will decided they were such a happy family, he ran halfway around the world to get away from them and live with his aunt and uncle, both of whom had previously been married to or cavorted with his mom and dad and... Oh, but we're getting off track.

Then, Sami left father number two, EJ, and went running back to father number one, Lucas. Father number one, however rejected Sami because he was on the lam. Father number one, Lucas, admitted shooting father number two, EJ at his wedding to Sami... Oh, yeah, did we mention someone plugged EJ at his wedding and he semi-faked paralysis to win Sami's affections? That worked pretty well until Sami tossed him and his wheelchair across the room. I think Sami works out.

Oops. We're off track again. So, Lucas admitted to shooting EJ. The cops arrested him before he could run like the sniveling coward he is. But the thing is, everyone now thinks he admitted to shooting EJ to protect Will, who it turns out may not be as matrue as we thought he was in the first place.

But, you know, so far, this is just a typical Salem dysfunctional, inter-marrying family. The question you may be asking is, what put them over the top to win the award? I mean, hey, nobody in this group died and came back from the dead. (Did they? I actually forget... Oh, waitaminute... Didn't EJ disappear to Mexico and... Oh, off track again).

Well, you know, there were just so many incidents that came together to distinguish them. We can't enumerate them all, but we think the following two typify the fouled up cluster-bomb that defines this crowd...

In late September, the evil Andre DiMera captured both Lucas and EJ and tied them up. He then forced Sami to choose the one she really loved by shooting and killing the other. After what seemed like excruciating hours, Sami finally aimed the gun at EJ's head, fired and promptly kneecapped Lucas.

Fast forward to the wedding where Lucas (or Will) also took a potshot at EJ, hitting Sami's dress in the process. In other words, Sami tried to shoot EJ and instead shot Lucas, and Lucas shot EJ and got Sami in a two-for-one deal.

I think we can all agree, in addition to the fact that EJ must be made of Teflon, neither Sami nor Lucas (Will?) should ever be permitted to look at a gun, let alone fire one. On the positive side, they are all candidates for the coveted Prevuze Klutz Of The Year Award.

Anyway, it is with great pleasure that we present this award to EJAMICUS (we would print all the names again, but our computer does not have enough memory). Although we had to forgo the monogrammed sweaters, we are happy to announce that this award is accompanied by the Dick Cheney/Jamie Lynn Spears Trophy for Marksmanship and Family Values.

One more thing... If you found any part of this post amusing or outrageous, just remember, none of it is made up. Every single thing recapped here actually happened this year.

All that action-packed adventure, and yet they make fun of soap operas. Go figure.

A Complicated Woman

Shawn and Belle smooch and giggle as they set up the New Year's party at the pub. Shawn tells Belle what he liked most about the Christmas party was when she got in Phillip's face, one of them anyway, and told him where to go. What Belle liked most about the party was when she stood there looking at Hope imagining her drowning in a vat of boiling eggnog.

Shawn is so proud of her. It made him feel so good to see her step up to the plate and give Phillip the bum's rush. His new year's resolution is to trust his beautiful wife completely. They hug as Belle remembers telling Phillip she couldn't bear it if he left. Then we move on to a flashback of the two cavorting behind Shawn's back.

Phillip watches through the window and gets a call from Chloe. She says someone is following her. She thinks it's the cops and she's about to be arrested.

EJ bounces Ali and hauls her around the room. What a recovery! Two days ago the guy couldn't walk. Stefano and Godzilla show up at the door with a pram, which normal people would call a baby carriage. Stefano announces he has come to take his grandson.

Sami runs up and screams at Lucas not to go. She begs. Lucas doesn't have time for it. Sami blubbers, "Give me five minutes to tell you I am sorry and I love you and I need you."

"Didn't you just tell me the same thing in five seconds," asks Lucas.

Chloe begs Phillip for help. He thinks she is overreacting. Phillip brushes her off and says he can recommend a lawyer if she is busted. Again he looks in at the display of affection in the pub.

Shawn wants to start over with a clean slate in '08. Caroline interrupts. She loves the decorations; she also needs Shawn to haul champagne from the walk-in. They leave. Belle repeats, "A new start..."

Phillip takes the opportunity and swoops in like a hungry vulture. Belle wants to know what he is doing there. Phillip says, "I just came by to wish you a happy new year... and to talk about our future."

Stefano introduces Godzilla. Godzilla grunts and stomps on a few things to acknowledge EJ. EJ wants to know why Stefano needs a professional bodyguard. Stefano isn't taking any chances. EJ refuses to let him take Johnny. Stefano follows him inside and makes a grab for the kid, but EJ tells him this is Ali, not Johnny. Godzilla stays outside and crushes things to pass the time.

Stefano says, "You scared me. I thought I was going to have to hurt you. I thought you were going to keep me from my grandson." EJ says Johnny is asleep and he doesn't think it's a good idea for Stefano to take him.

Sami begs. Kate interrupts. Lucas asks for a second. Kate leaves them as Lucas tells Sami his mind is made up. We get more apologies and begging from Sami. The begging turns in to sniveling and the sniveling turns in to groveling. Lucas says it's too late. Sami cries, "Why is it to late?"

Lucas says, "Because I've done something neither one of us can undo... Something I've gotta pay for."

Belle claims she and Phillip don't have a future. Phillip says he will dog her as long as he has to until he gets what he wants. Belle tells him to get out. Phillip refuses, "We both know what happens when I get close." He moves in, "Just like now. I wonder if that speech of yours at the party was meant to impress me or the Bradys."

Stefano and EJ argue about him taking Johnny and also EJ letting Sami go for Lucas. EJ wonders if Stefano takes Johnny if he would then whisk him away somewhere on a plane, "What's your real plan?"

Lucas rants about Sami marrying EJ. Sami goes beyond groveling. Then Lucas beats himself up for letting her marry EJ. He knew if she did that it was over forever. It was his job to protect her and he couldn't do it, "You know about the gun, don't you?"

Sami chokes, "Well... I know it was used... that night... in the shooting. You... didn't... do... it?"

"I lied to you," says Lucas, "I did do it. I shot EJ."

"GASP!"

Stefano wants to know what's happened to EJ. EJ wants him to answer his question about taking Johnny somewhere. Stefano thinks Sami is manipulating EJ. It pains him to see his son acting like a paid babysitter. EJ tells him it's his decision to do that, "If you take him I don't believe you will bring him back. That's not acceptable. Take your pram and leave. There is nothing for you here."

Sami thinks it can't be true that Lucas shot EJ. Lucas apologizes but says he lied and was trying to protect her. He says he snapped and decided he had to do something. He describes getting the gun and then putting away, but in the end he decided it wasn't possible to stop the wedding without violence. So he shot EJ.

Belle doesn't want Shawn finding Phillip there. Phillip persists. He says he knows Belle wants him. Belle says, "I want to be Shawn's wife and I want us to spend all the Days Of Our Lives together." Phillip says he won't leave until Belle admits she made a mistake marrying Shawn. Belle refuses. Phillip takes her hand and holds it up to his heart. Then he puts their hands on her heart, "It's in your heart, not in your head."

"There is nothing in my head," says Belle, "except for the voices." Belle admits she is attracted to him.

Phillip thinks it's more than that. He knows she loves him as much as he loves her, "Belle, it's just us now. You don't have to pretend."

Belle tells him she loves Shawn, "I especially love the way his hands feel when he runs them all over my body. You're not the only man who makes my heart beat fast. Now get out."

Shawn interrupts, "Phillip! What are you doing here?"

Stefano can't believe EJ is showing such disrespect, "It is ill advised." EJ asks if he is threatening as he gets a phone call.

Kate bellows into her phone, "Did you help Sami find us?" She lectures him. EJ tells her this is not a good time. He tells her he's taking care of the twins and hangs up. He turns to Stefano, "You were saying?"

Stefano rants, "I was saying I always counted on you to be a good soldier. When you failed I gave you the benefit of the doubt. But there comes a time when a man must make hard decisions. The time for that is now for you. You will either be a good son or the enemy. There is no in between."

Sami thinks Lucas has started a whole new war with the DiMeras by shooting EJ. Lucas says they won't come after Sami or the kids. He starts to put his arms around her, "I did this because I love you."

Sami stows her sniveling, whining, groveling, snot-snorting personality and pulls out her nasty, vindictive, hateful, snot-snorting personality, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Shawn says Belle doesn't want Phillip. Phillip makes the understatement of the year, "She's a complicated woman."

"She's a cornucopia of complicated women," says Shawn, "You'd better get out before I go over there and start pounding my face against the bar." Phillip leaves.

Belle, feeling that she may be losing her grip as the center of attention, decides this is all her fault.

Phillip stands outside the pub and gets another call from Chloe. She says she's at the police station. Phillip tells her to keep her mouth shut and he will be there.

Stefano thinks EJ is treating him as if he is the enemy. He demands to see Johnny D. EJ wants to know what Stefano will do if he refuses, "Finish your threat. Are you going to do to me what you did to Renée?"

"I'm not telling you," says Stefano, "The Phoenix shall surprise again."

Sami says Lucas can't make it better by putting his arms around her. Kate interrupts, "Lucas, it's time to go. Don't throw things away for a woman who will need another man all the time. Do you know how she found us? EJ helped her. And right now he's back at the apartment taking care of the twins." Sami claims she had no choice but to leave them with EJ.

Phillip arrives at the cop shop. Roman leads him into his office where Chloe is singing like a canary. Phillip reminds her he told her not to talk which, for Chloe, is a near impossibility. Roman introduces inspector Clark from the Austrian consulate. Clark is there to arrest Chloe on behalf of the Viennese police.

Belle whimpers and says she made a really big mistake. She says they can't move on until it's in the open. She opens her copy of Bartlett's Familiar Quotations to the Mimi Lockhart section and reads, "There is something I need to tell you and should have told you weeks ago."

Stefano sighs and says this is a dark day. He didn't think EJ would turn on him. EJ says in many ways Stefano was a wonderful father. He's not denying him access to Johnny, but he's just being careful. He won't let Stefano see Johnny without him being there. Stefano is sorry they are at an impasse, "This hurts me more than I can say, but I think you know when the chips are down, watch out. I intend to win. You can keep the pram. Consider it a gift."

"I'd rather have a baby carriage," says EJ. He stops Stefano from leaving, "I know the DiMeras have a lot of skeletons in the closet."

"Not as many as those girls over at the Theta house," says Stefano.

"Don't take my son," says EJ, "You understand what I'm saying?"

Sami says she will never understand Lucas shooting EJ. Sirens wail in the background. Kate tells him it's now or never. Sami mocks, "Take the easy way out – that will make your son proud."

Stefano asks, "Now who's making threats? That's number two in as many days."

EJ stands his ground, "Am I clear?"

Stefano explodes, "You are an ingrate! Turncoat! Pram-rejecter! "

"You raised me a DiMera," says EJ, "And as you know, that makes for a very dangerous enemy." Stefano leaves. Godzilla stomps behind him. EJ exhales.

Sami tucks her nasty, vindictive personality away and calls her groveling, whining, sniveling personality back into action. She apologizes for hurting Lucas and gives up and says Kate is right... he should go. Lucas says he loves her and turns to leave. Too late. Roman comes up with his bevy of screws. Kate begs for ten minutes and a running start. Hard-hearted Roman rejects her pleas. He arrests Lucas, "You have a right to remain silent, which would be a miracle..."

Phillip and Chloe are alone in Roman's office. He asks if Chloe is ready to tell him the truth. Finally, Chloe the whiner is back in town. She says men broke into their apartment and they grabbed Brady and tied him up. They left her alone. Brady somehow cut his hand in the struggle and then they took him. She didn't call the cops. She wanted to but they had been fighting and she thought if the cops saw the blood, she would be the suspect.

Phillip is disgusted, "So you were protecting yourself. Nice."

Chloe claims initially she was, but now she is protecting Brady, "I went door-to-door looking for him – Vienna is a small city – and then I got a warning to back off or I would never see him again. I hated not being able to go to the police, but she knew you were the only person who could help me. So my master plan was to come to Salem, and throw myself at you because I'm so desperate to find Brady. That didn't work, so now I'm begging for your help. I would do anything for you."

Phillip scoffs, "What do you have to offer?"

Chloe lowers her head, "Nothing... for you."

The part of Phillip's brain that isn't smeared across the racetrack has a brainstorm, "Maybe there is something you could do..."

Belle stammers and whines, "It was just one time and then it was over. I just thought we could go on with our lives and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."

Shawn is as impatient as we are, "Just tell me."

"I cheated on you," cries Belle, "I slept with Phillip." Well, the aforementioned smooching and giggling is pretty much a thing of the past.


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

The Peso Talks

Marlena zones. She must be watching DOOL. She remembers John's death. We go through the tortuous scene again, along with the tear-jerking goodbyes. YAWN. I'm glad they showed that. I had completely forgotten how John died. What do you know? A car hit him. I thought Mr. Superspy got trapped in a giant martini vat which was shaken, not stirred. What a mundane way to die. At least he could have been sawed in half by a laser or taken Hot Job's hat in the forehead.

Hope snaps her out of it. Marlena says she just wasn't up to being at Alice's for Christmas. Instead she went to the dry cleaners and psychic emporium. The dry cleaner had called her and said she would throw away John's suits if Marlena didn't come. Then, when she got there, it was closed. She tells Hope about the psychic telling her John is alive.

Stefano zones. He must be watching DOOL. Rolf interrupts and says the guest escaped through the tunnel. Stefano rages.

Houseguestenstein plays with a kid's soccer ball. The kid runs up to him and looks into the hooded face. The blood drains from the kid's face, "Never mind, mister. You can keep it." The kid starts to leave, but Frankenguest hands him the ball.

EJ has a GPS tracking system. He tells Sami he can track Kate's car with it.

Kate zones. She must be watching DOOL. Lucas calls. He says he's freezing. She tells him she wants to make sure no one is following. He protests, so Kate gets out of the car. She lets him out of the trunk. They get in the car and Lucas tries to warm up. They are at the airport. Phillip will send a truck, and then they can head for Mexico.

Chelsea zones. She must be watching DOOL. Max and Stephanie arrive and she tells them about Crawford Decker being there. Max zones...

Hope can't believe it, "She told you John is alive?"

"Seems strange doesn't it?"

"No," says Hope, "In Salem, it would be strange if she told you he is dead."

Marlena tells her about her close encounter with Crystal. Hope tells her to get a grip. Marlena lost her grip long ago. She tells Hope Crystal had a vision of a man in a forest.

"Well," gasps Hope, "That narrows it right down to John, doesn't it?" Marlena tells her about the plaque and wonders how she could she have known that. "I wonder if she has an inside source," asks Hope.

"No," says Marlena, "I think he's alive. I can feel it." A figure watches. We all feel it.

EJ plays with the GPS. Sami wonders why he's so willing to help Lucas. He says he's not helping Lucas; he's helping her.

Max sends Chelsea to call Billie and find out where things stand with the warrant. Stephanie wonders how things got so screwed up. "They don't call us the Three Stooges for nothing," says Max. But he's glad he got involved. It shows Stephanie trusts him. Chelsea comes back and says Billie said when the warrant is issued the posse will be on its way.

Kate says she's going with Lucas, "It's not negotiable. My Mexican contacts will only deal with me."

"Ahhhhh," says Lucas, "The peso talks."

"Not as much as you do," says Kate. She says it's the only way they can get him to Europe. Lucas says if he goes he knows he will never come back. Kate thinks Sami will join him. This isn't the way Lucas thought things would work out. Kate says Phillip will help and the Kiriakis name has clout. When it's all settled Lucas can come back. He thinks Sami will hate him when she finds out what he has done.

EJ finds Kate's car with his handy-dandy GPS, "They are at the airport." Sami blithers. EJ says he will watch the twins and tells Sami to head for the airport.

Max will dig up the body while the girls wait for the cops. Stephanie thinks this might not work out. Huh? When did she grow a brain?

Hope thinks someone is conning Marlena. Marlena doesn't agree. Hope asks what if it was her telling Marlena all this. Marlena says she would recommend professional help. Not a bad idea anyway. Marlena reminds her she told Hope John came to her in her dreams and told her not to grieve. She wonders if it is possible he is trying to reach her through Crystal.

"Maybe Crystal is not your average con artist," says Hope, "Maybe she's working for the DiMeras."

Stefano and Rolf have found the kid who had the Frankensteinian encounter. They hand him a wad-o-cash and he shows them the right direction. Stefano and Rolf head that way while the kid goes to buy his own major-league soccer team.

Sami thinks EJ may run off with Johnny if she leaves them alone. EJ insists he won't. She wonders why he's so eager to get rid of her. EJ claims his motives are genuine. Sami remains suspicious.

A door opens into the dark cellar. A flashlight beam breaks the dark. Chelsea says her knees are knocking. Max turns on a light to reveal a new, uninstalled water heater sitting next to the old junker. Max starts digging.

Upstairs, Stephanie frets. The doorbell rings.

EJ says he knows he's given Sami no reasons to trust him. But he's told her he wants to be a good father. He can't take away the pain he's caused, but if helping to stop Lucas makes him his own man and stops him from following in Stefano's footsteps, that's a good thing.

Kate thinks Lucas was justified in shooting EJ. Lucas wonders if they should scrap the whole plan. Kate argues. She doesn't think he has many options. She thinks things will be much better once they get to Paris and start enjoying the high life in Gay Paree and all the good food.

"I hate Paris. I hate good food," screams Lucas.

"You've been married to Sami. How do you even know what good food tastes like," asks Kate. Kate thinks if Lucas spends even one night in jail the DiMeras will make sure he never comes home.

Stephanie answers the doorbell. It's Billie and Sergeant Dodd from the crime lab and, of course, a search warrant. Dodd goes upstairs. Stephanie says Chelsea and Max are outside sunbathing in the –10° wind chill. Billie wants to talk to Chelsea. She goes upstairs and Stephanie continues to worry.

Chelsea can't believe the smell. Max takes a breath mint. He's decided they will put Ford in the old water heater and install the new one. Then they will get by the camera by his ingenious plan to call a maintenance guy and tell him there is a problem with the porch light. The maintenance guy will block the camera when he gets on his ladder to inspect the light, and they will whisk the combo water-heater/coffin out the door."

Chelsea asks, "You're making this up as you go along, aren't you?"

"Gee, how could you tell," asks Max, "But, hey, plans are for wimps. Now, go make that call to maintenance."

Hope reminds Marlena Sami is in the way of Stefano's plans for his grandson. Marlena's instinct tells her this isn't a setup. Hope insists, "JOHN IS DEAD!"

"No," says Marlena, "Paul is dead.

Marlena remembers her encounter with Crystal. On and on and on it goes. YAWN. Hope suggests going to see Crystal. Marlena stares.

EJ says if Sami doesn't trust him, he suggests she call someone else to go to the airport, "Lucas doesn't have a lot of time." He leaves. Of course, Sami chases. She agrees to go while he watches the kids. She threatens him, "If you do anything that hurts my children you will live to regret it."`

Chelsea calls the maintenance guy and asks him to come and look at the light. He will be there between the hours of 8AM and 5PM and someone must be home. She will be charged for a service call even if nothing is wrong with the light. No one can touch his Mercedes while it is parked in her driveway, and under no circumstances can she have DOOL playing on the TV while he is there. Understanding the rules, Chelsea assures Stephanie things will be fine.

Stefano and Rolf search a cabin. Stefano says they have to find him before he shows his face.

Marlena and Hope arrive at Crystal's psychic emporium. A man comes up as they pound on the door. He tells them the building has been empty for a long time and is condemned.

Lucas says he isn't afraid of Stefano. He doesn't care if Stefano kills him. Kate argues. Lucas thinks she should have some clout because she has been close to Stefano in the past. "Stefano's affections are like the tides," says Kate, "They roll in and out. They come and go. And then he pays me. Lucas doesn't care if he goes to jail. Kate screams, "How the hell are you going to protect your son when you're lying in a jail cell with a knife in your back?"

Kate insists she's thinking of Lucas, his son and Sami. Ali be damned. Lucas finally agrees to go. If he stays, Stefano will declare open season on him. The delivery truck arrives. Lucas ducks. Kate meets the driver, a Jesse Ventura clone. She has Lucas get out of the car and haul luggage.

Billie startles Stephanie. She asks for the key to the attic. Stephanie says, "It's behind the killer's poster." Billie gasps. Stephanie clarifies things. "The Killer's" is a rock band.

The maintenance guy arrives. He whines about having to work outside where it is cold. Stephanie asks him to fix the light and she will make coffee.

Max and Chelsea drag the water heater upstairs and out the door. The maintenance guy is there working on the light, "I think I'll pass on that coffee. It smells like a dead body in a water heater."

We get the view from the surveillance camera, showing nothing but the maintenance man. Billie tells Stephanie they are ready to look in the basement.

Marlena tries to get into the old building. She says she knows what she saw earlier. Hope says she believes her. She thinks someone is playing a cruel joke on Marlena. They go off to figure out who is doing this. Crystal follows.

Stefano barks orders. He wants all his men on the street and if they don't find Guestenstein, heads will roll. As he rages, Frankenguest walks back into the house. Stefano lectures him for leaving. The guest runs off. Stefano stops Rolf form chasing. He orders all exits blocked and gives Rolf a taser. Rolf thinks Stefano should guard the houseguest, "It seems our houseguest could be very dangerous."

Stefano chuckles, "I am counting on it, Rolf. I am counting on it."

Lucas handles luggage as Sami runs up and begs him not to go.

Chelsea comes back inside. Billie and Dodd head for the basement. The girls hug, cower and huff.

Down in the cellar, Dodd checks the dirt by the new water heater. Billie asks if he has found anything. "I'm not sure," says Dodd.

Upstairs, the girls zone. They must be watching DOOL.


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Psycho Women Who Kill Men

EJ tries his key in the DiMera mansion door, but it doesn't work. He rings the doorbell and Rolf answers. EJ asks why someone changed the locks. Rolf says Stefano did not say and also claims Stefano is not there. Rolf won't let EJ in. He slams the door in his face.

Sami remembers reading Lucas' note. Roman interrupts her obsessive moment. Sami wants him to help find Lucas. Roman tells her Lucas is with Kate.

Stephanie remembers talking to Max at the Christmas party. She cries as Max knocks at her door. Stephanie ignores him until he threatens to stay there until she answers. Inside, he apologizes for just dropping in. He suggests bagels and a latte's. She's not hungry. Max thinks it's more than that. He wants to know what's going on as Stephanie flashes to her night from hell. She cries and hugs Max.

Nick finds Chelsea asleep on a couch. He kisses her and she wakes up. He hands her a cup of coffee. Chelsea says she is cold, so Nick offers to light a fire. She wants him to light her fire. She thinks last night was perfect. Nick finally got it right in bed. She's looking for seconds. She gets things started, but an angry knock interrupts. Nick answers to find Crawford. He barges in, "Where is my son?"

Roman tells Sami how he deduced Lucas is with Kate. "This is all Kate's idea," says Sami.

"You're right," says Roman, "For one thing, we know Lucas isn't capable of an original idea. Where did he say he was going?"

"He said he was going to see Will," says Sami, "He lied."

Roman tells her he has issued an APB on Lucas, "We will find him and when we do, we're gonna have to arrest Lucas for attempted murder." Sami bawls.

EJ sneaks into the mansion from the balcony door. He remembers telling Stefano he hasn't shared his Brady plan. EJ wonders what Stefano is up to as he snoops around. He starts to rifle through Stefano's desk. We see feet approaching and then the mystery figure conks EJ from the back. EJ hits the deck.

Stephanie says, "I'm sorry for acting like a head case."

"With you, it's not an act," says Max, "I just want to know what's going on. You didn't do anything wrong. People bury dead bodies in the basement every day." Stephanie says she knows why Cordy is acting like she is. She understands why Cordy now pushes men away. Max thinks Stephanie is rejecting him in the same way.

Nick sticks out his hand to introduce himself. Crawford ignores it. He badgers Chelsea. "I know you are the one who organized the witch hunt against my son.

She defends her actions, "I did it because I have the personality to lead witches and, besides, your son was a rapist."

Crawford picks right up on that, "What do you mean was?". We have a flashback to Ford's death. Crawford asks, "What did you do to my son?"

Nick tells him to back off. Crawford wants to call security. Chelsea says she doesn't know where Ford is and she agrees they should call Billie. Crawford gives her the third degree. He thinks they took matters into their own hands. Crawford goes upstairs to search the place while they're waiting for Billie to arrive. Nick tells her, "Everything will be OK because he's not going to find anything." Chelsea is silent. Nick presses, "He's not going to find anything is he?"

"Of course not," she whines.

Max thinks Stephanie hasn't been herself lately. She knows she's been sending mixed signals. She claims she's worried about Cordy. She over-defends Cordy to the point Max asks if Ford did something to hurt her.

Sami begs Roman not to arrest Lucas. Roman says he has no choice.

Stefano finds EJ on the floor, "A man should never drink before lunch, Elvis." EJ says he wasn't drinking. He knows someone hit him.

Stefano says, "I know. Get up." He helps him. Stefano says his houseguest hit him. He wonders why EJ was searching the desk. Outside the door, the guest listens. "My houseguest is very thorough," says Stefano.

EJ asks who the guest is. Stefano says he will find out in due time. EJ says he was in the desk looking for what Stefano meant when he said Johnny would be well taken care of. Stefano insists Johnny is a DiMera and will be raised according to tradition. He doesn't like the fact Sami will be raising a DiMera heir. EJ insists they will do it their way.

Rolf interrupts, "Stefano, our guest was, uh... in the yard. Fortunately, I was able to usher him in before he left." Stefano rages about what would happen if he gets out. EJ is puzzled.

Sami wants to keep this in the family. Roman tells Sami to stay in her apartment while he goes to look for Lucas. When he finds Lucas he will send a car for her, "Just hang in there."

Chelsea insists she just wants this thing with Ford to be over. Nick goes to check for Billie. Chelsea paces. She remembers Max suggesting they bury Ford in the basement and then leaving dressed as Ford.

Max asks if Ford forced himself on Stephanie. She starts to answer, but her phone rings. Saved by the bell. Chelsea tells her Crawford is there. She wants her and Max over there tout de suite.

Crawford asks where the cellar is. Chelsea hems and haws and says they don't have a wine cellar. Crawford loses patience and says she knows what he is talking about. "There is nothing down there," says Chelsea. But if you go down, you might want to take a can of air freshener."

Billie interrupts. She asks Crawford to leave. He says he isn't going anywhere. Billie threatens to arrest him. Crawford asks, "Do you have any idea what it is not to know where your child is?"

"Yes, I do," says Billie, "I also know how horrible it can be when you find the child. But I can't allow you to search without a warrant."

Ford tosses accusations, "You're protecting Chelsea. You've done it before when you claimed to be driving the car that hit Zack."

"I made a mistake," says Billie.

"Are you sure you're not making another one," asks Crawford.

Billie is backed into a corner, "I'll ignore your offensive comments, especially since they are true. I have reviewed the surveillance tapes, and they show your son leaving." She drags out her computer and shows him the tape, "He never shows up on the tapes at his dorm or anywhere else on campus, so he must have left the campus that night." Crawford says he can't see Ford's face on the tape, and wonders if that really was him. He says the tape won't hold up as evidence in a court of law.

Billie tells him to leave. He refuses. Billie threatens to have him arrested. "You do that," says Crawford, "And I promise, you'll be back on the streets." A referee throws a flag and penalizes Crawford for unsportsmanlike conduct. A review of the play, however, indicates Billie had indeed been out on the streets at one time, so the line judge overrules the call.

Max hopes Chelsea will call Billie and buy them some time. Stephanie thinks they are going to prison, "Crawford will make the Theta girls look like psycho women who kill men."

"That should be pretty easy," says Max, "I don't think that's a mannequin in the basement."

EJ listens through the door as Stefano lectures the guest. He tells him can't just roam around, "If you show your face they will hurt you!" When Stefano comes out EJ asks who the guest is, but Stefano says he has to keep it secret. He agrees to raise Johnny the way Elvis wants to. EJ thanks him.

Stefano pours a drink to seal the deal, but Rolf interrupts. He announces that the police have issued a warrant for Lucas' arrest, "They think Lucas shot Elvis."

Stefano gasps and turns to EJ, "For your wife's sake I hope she's not stupid enough to take off with my grandson."

"She's stupid enough," says EJ, "But she didn't," he excuses himself.

Nick demands an apology. Crawford refuses. He thinks Billie is in on the cover-up, "Cameras lie just like people do." He heads for the cellar but Chelsea reminds him he can't search the place without a warrant.

Billie asks him to leave. Crawford vows, "I will be back."

Douglas MacArthur steps in and says, "You're supposed to say, 'I shall return.'"

Arnold Schwarzenegger muscles in and says, "No. You give them a cold stare and say, 'I'll-be-back.'"

The General and the Terminator duke it out as Crawford gives them a parting shot, "God help you if you've hurt my son." He leaves.

EJ knocks at Sami's door. He rushes in. Sami notices he's missing something – his wheel chair. She asks why he isn't faking anymore.

"It's a miracle," says EJ. Then he decides to come clean, "OK, no more lies. I was playing it up but I wasn't making it up. Your ex-husband shot me." Sami suggests EJ and Stefano set Lucas up.

EJ reminds her she was with him when he was shot. He offers to help Sami find Lucas. Sami resists but he gives his word not to turn Lucas in. "In exchange for what," asks Sami, "Sex?"

"No," says EJ, "But there is something I want from you. I would like you to forgive me."

"Is that all?"

"No," he says, "I would also like you to let our son form his own opinion about me."

Billie says where Crawford is concerned, things will get worse before they get better. Chelsea frets. Billie says things will get better when Ford gets home. She asks if the brat has anything else she wants to say. Chelsea claims not. Nick suggests getting something to eat. Chelsea agrees. Billie leaves.

Once Billie is gone, Chelsea suggests making breakfast. Nick gets a call from a student and goes to take it. Chelsea immediately calls Stephanie. She says Crawford is coming back with a warrant, "Get over he right away. We have to move the body."

Rolf comes flying down the stairs in a tizzy, "I have looked everywhere! He is gone!"

EJ says he will help Sami find Lucas regardless if she makes the deal. Sami doesn't know if she can trust him. EJ wants to be a good father but he thinks if Johnny sees him through Sami's eyes he doesn't have a chance. As he dials his phone he says they have to make sure they find Kate and Lucas before the police do, "Come on, work with me on this. Please."

Stephanie wonders where they will put the body. She hangs up. Max is unenthusiastic about the caper, but they head for the sorority house.


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Transformers From Cybertron

We pan up from a picture of Tom and Alice. We move across other pictures as the party gets rolling in the background. Merriment abounds as Bo, Hope and Chelsea decorate the tree. Chelsea picks Zack's bulb out of the box. So much for the merriment. Chelsea zones. She sees Ford standing outside the window. Ford drones, "Another year another victim. You know they say – it gets easier after the second one." Chelsea drops her Christmas bulb. Bo makes a diving catch and asks her if she's OK.

Max herds the kids and assures him Santa is on the way. The kids want to know if Nick is the genuine St. Nick. He brushes them off with candy. Max hopes Santa Steve gets there. Nick asks where Stephanie is. He thinks maybe she would know where Patch is.

Max says, "She and I really aren't in synch right now."

Marlena knocks on the door of a dry cleaning place, "Hello? Are you there?" She turns in exasperation, "Of course they aren't there. It's Christmas for heaven's sake." So why did you come in the first place?

Ahh. She came to set up the meeting with Crystal, who just won the competition on "I want to be a Psychic."

Crystal walks up behind Marlena, "I know why you've come."

EJ wheels himself in to see Stefano. Stefano says this is a surprise, since he thought EJ would be spending the holidays with his wife and son. EJ gives him the old standard, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news."

Stefano wants the bad news first. EJ tells him Sami has gone back to Lucas.

"That's certainly bad news for Lucas," he says, "But it's an unacceptable situation."

The good news," says EJ, "Is that DOOL has been canceled." Stefano can't contain his joy until EJ says that's not really the good news, but he just wanted to spread a little Christmas cheer. He then gives Stefano the real good news by standing up.

Stefano hugs him, "This is wonderful. It's almost as good as DOOL being canceled."

Sami arrives at the party with Johnny D. She tells Maggie Lucas will be there in a few minutes.

Deep, dreadful piano music plays as Lucas contemplates a bottle o' booze. Kate turns and asks, "Lucas, what are you doing?" Lucas sighs and stares.

Roman tells the crowd gathered around, "The strange thing is, the last time I talked to Marlena, she said she would be here."

Caroline gasps, "Oh!" That was a shocking piece of news, wasn't it? She turns to Abe and suggests maybe Lexie has seen her.

"So where the hell is Lexie," asks Abe. Patch and Abe decide this calls for a mission to find Marlena.

Max asks to talk to Kayla in private. He tells her he hoped Stephanie would be there. Kayla says Stephanie decided to stay home and pout, but Cordy will be there. Max wonders if he did something wrong he way Stephanie has been brushing him off. Kayla says it's not that. "What is it, then," asks Max, "Why doesn't she just tell me?"

"How could we drag this out forever if she does that," asks Kayla.

Chelsea zones. She tells Hope, "I miss Zack."

"No," says Hope, "You didn't miss. That's why he's not here." Chelsea fall apart and runs off.

Bo comes up. Hope says it was seeing Zack's ornament that teed her off.

Outside, Chelsea broods as Bo comes out. She tells him she's also worried about Ford. Bo comforts her.

Lucas pours the booze down the drain. He says he wasn't going to drink it. Kate says drinking never helps when you're under stress, "That's why John always went straight to the pills." She asks if he can handle the lonely road out there. Lucas says he has a lot to stay sober for as he picks up Ali and bounces her.

Billie and Phillip arrive. They see the suitcase packed and sitting off to the side. "Something is wrong and one of you better start talking," says Billie. You'll never guess which one does the talking.

Stefano is beside himself. EJ stands beside him, too. EJ gives him a gift. Stefano opens it to find a picture of EJ and Johnny D. Stefano is overjoyed, "I will treasure this all the Days Of Our Lives." He puts it on a desk, never to be seen again. Stefano says he may be a man who has everything but he also has an empty house. EJ tells Stefano he has him. He thinks they have a lot to celebrate.

Stefano thinks it will be a banner year, "This will be the year the Brady's will finally reap their just rewards."

Marlena says she got a call saying her dry cleaning was ready, "So I thought I'd be the first woman in history who tried to pick up her dry cleaning on Christmas." Crystal thinks it was fate that brought her there.

She invites Marlena in to her Psychic Emporium, "Do you believe in the spirit world?"

"I've been there more times than you can count," says Marlena. But she doesn't believe you can contact a dead person though. Which doesn't mean she couldn't contact John.

Crystal says, "I can bring your loved one back to you."

Shawn and Belle arrive with Claire. Belle tells Sami she was excited to hear about her and Lucas getting back together. They wonder where Marlena is. Sami also doesn't know what's keeping Lucas.

"Someone going on a trip," asks Billie. Lucas claims it's the stuff Sami brought over in the process of moving back in. His phone rings. Lucas looks at the number and doesn't answer. That does it. Now Phillip really wants to know what's going on. Lucas brushes it off and says he'll just take the call later, "AND... Ali's godmother has a job to do."

Billie realizes it's all over, "Be safe."

"Always."

Billie takes Ali. Phillip leaves as Lucas says his tear-jerking goodbye to Ali. Billie carts her off.

The kids chant, "Santa! Santa! Santa!" Nick stalls by doing an amazing magic trick. He turns Chelsea into someone who is likable.

Kayla tells Max not to give up on Stephanie. Max asks, "Is there something you're not telling me." Kayla claims there isn't.

Abe and Steve are worried Marlena might be walking into a trap. They know she went to the dry cleaners and as we all know, that's almost always a trap. Patch decides to go search for her. A smooch to Kayla and he's off. He's also headed downtown. Nick asks where he is going. Patch fills him in. Nick worries about who will play Santa. Kayla elects Max.

Back in the dressing room, Kayla hugs Max and thanks him for doing this. Nick thinks Max looks ridiculous, "And it will be even worse when you get that Santa costume on." The angry Santa pounces. Kayla leaves.

Max decides Nick will be his elf. He holds the Spock-elf ears up for a preview and decides Nick will look good in them.

Santa takes a kid on his lap and reads the Christmas story. Meanwhile, Lucas packs as we pan through bulbs and family scenes.

After the reading, a little girl in front announces she is Jewish and wants to know why Santa didn't read a story for her. "Get your own holiday," growls Santa. Another little girl decides she wants Kwanzaa story. Christmas has changed.

Maggie discovers Jeremy's bulb is broken. Alice says, "We'll get another one for next year."

Nick revises the Christmas story to fit all faiths and beliefs. God listens and scribbles notes for the next version of the Bible. Max gets the spirit, "You could be a Christian or Jewish or a Buddhist... You could even be transformers from Cybertron... but today is about hope and peace and, most of all..." He looks at Stephanie, "...about love."

Marlena tells crystal she should be ashamed for huckstering herself on Christmas.

"Oh, yeah," says Crystal, "If you think that's bad, wait until you see the cheesy product placement ad later in this episode. But, I see a man in a forest reading... a plaque with his name on it."

Marlena takes the hint, "John? His name was Forest for a while. And after that, he changed his name to Plaque! "

"Black," says Crystal, "I see a long black flowing robe. Did he ever wear a long black flowing robe?"

"Well, he was an chronic cross-dresser," says Marlena, "And for a while he was a priest."

That does it. Crystal is certain, "He's not dead."

Lucas leaves an envelope for Sami. Kate says she'll be where they said they would meet. Lucas takes a final look around and walks out.

Outside, Phillip intercepts him and says, "I guess this is it. I'm not stupid. I can see what's going on here. How can you walk away from your family? When I left Belle it was the biggest mistake in my life."

"I thought you said you weren't stupid," says Lucas, "Uh... Merry Christmas, OK?" Hugs. Lucas tells him to take care of their mom and leaves.

Marlena tells Crystal she watched John die. Crystal asks if she always believes what she sees, "He's still out there. You will be together again."

Patch finds them. He lectures Marlena for worrying everyone.

Marlena explains, "I was just down here to pick up my dry cleaning when I bumped into..." The mysterious Crystal is gone. Marlena says they were just talking. Patch asks if Crystal upset her.

"No," says Marlena, "In fact, she gave me hope."

Back at the party. They all ask Billie where Lucas is. Billie tells Sami Lucas asked her to bring Ali, "He wanted to make sure Ali was well taken care of if something happened. He had a suitcase packed." Sami panics and runs out.

Nick notices Chelsea isn't the life of the party and asks her who died. She apologies and says it hasn't been her best Christmas. Nick has a solution – Elf loving. "I love it when you get kinky," says Chelsea. They run off together.

Max meets up with Stephanie. They share an uncomfortable hello. Stephanie knows things have been tense but says it's her fault. Max, of course, cares. He strokes her hair and she brushes him away like a swarm of flies.

Sami runs into her apartment and finds Kate and Phillip. Everything is silent, so she knows Lucas isn't there. Kate hands her the note.

Sami reads, "Sami – Remember you told me we are sometimes forced to do things we don't want to do. This is the hardest. But I hope you will understand. I love you and our kids and you'll have to be strong. I'll do anything to protect you guys – especially run out on you like a spineless coward."

Stephanie says it will never work for her and Max. Max should be overjoyed, but instead says he won't accept that. He says if she gives him a chance he's in 100%. She runs off. "I'll take that as a 'no,'" says Max.

Nick plays around on his computer and brings up some pictures of him and Chelsea. In one of the most blatant, cheesy, disgusting Christmas product placement ads ever, he explains he's at a W*lgreen's website where you can get cool pictures, just like at a thousand other websites. And if you want... not that they would ever pressure you to do it... you can buy prints. Imagine that. She loves him, pointy ears and all.

Nick and Chelsea share an elf-lovin' hug. Ford watches, "Gee Chelsea I wonder who your next victim will be." He disappears.

Stefano reminisces about their winter trips to Cortina. He and EJ exchange Christmas greetings and then EJ limps off. Rolf arrives. He announces, "He is prepared." Stefano wants to put the finishing touches on himself.

It starts to snow. Patch offers a lift to Marlena, but she's too mesmerized by the snow. Patch says, "The first Christmas is the hardest." He says he's talking about Benjy as well as John.

Marlena says, "John isn't..." She stops herself, "John is always with me." Patch knows.

Doug sings "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas." We roll through several scenes. Patch comforts as Marlena shivers in the show. Sami runs and yells for Lucas. She collapses in a heap o' tears in front of the letter. Kayla comforts a bawling Stephanie. Ford searches for someone to zombie rape. Abe and Theo hang a bulb. The family listens and sways to the music. Shawn and Belle hold Claire. The baby sucks her thumb. So does Claire. Alice wishes Tom a merry Christmas.

Sounds of the labooooooratory fill the scene.

Double, double toil and trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble...
Rolf prepares a hypo the size of the Seattle space needle. Stefano takes it and does the honors, "A new life for a new year."

JAM!

The monitor on the wall shows a flatline. Suddenly, it begins to pulse and beep. An eye pops open. Stephano says, "Welcome home."

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯And from Prevuze, Happy Christmas, everyone.

Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Flat Out Lying

Marlena lies awake in bed and flashes back to John's splatification. She jumps, exhales and picks up his picture, "How am I gonna get through Christmas without you?" Metal clanks outside. Marlena investigates.

Chloe meets Phillip back at his office. She tells him he's keeping her guessing. Phillip confronts her about the divorce. He says he found out the Viennese police would like to talk to her. He asks why.

Marlena walks into her dark living room, "Who's there?"

It seems Sami has broken in to set up a Christmas tree. "Merry Christmas, Mom," says Sami Claus. Marlena lays her Uzi aside and hugs her.

Stephanie drags Cordy to the big anniversary party. Cordy gives Kayla a present and thanks her for letting her stay with them for Christmas. Max joins the party. Hugs and backslaps abound. Stephanie goes to look for Hope. Max follows, "If you are looking for Hope, just start spreading rumors and she'll find you." He wonders what Stephanie's problem is. Stephanie says he caught her off guard when he kissed her and huffs off. Protective Daddy walks up to Max and wants to know what's going on.

Shawn tells Belle Chloe left and points out the mistletoe, "Since Chloe is gone, I'll settle for you."

Hope lurks in the restroom. Since no one else is in there telling secrets, she has to be content with remembering Belle and Chloe's conversation.

Marlena oohs and aahs over the pathetic Christmas tree Sami has set up. Sami gives her a present from Ali and Johnny. A pair of depends to match their diapers. Marlena can't believe John will never see the twins, but she needs to be strong for her children. Sami tells her she left EJ. Marlena is ecstatic. Sami tells her Lucas is "adjusting" to the situation. Marlena is concerned she hasn't heard from Brady in ages. She tried to call him but no luck. Sami decides this is serious and says she's going to call Roman.

Phillip hands Chloe the fax from the Vienna. Police are calling her a person of interest in Brady's disappearance. Chloe says she and Brady had been arguing for months.

"I guess you even drag out your arguments," says Phillip. He wants to know what they were about. It seems she wanted to come home and Brady didn't, so she "conveniently" forgot to get her visa renewed. Brady was furious and walked out. After that, Chloe came home. Phillip is skeptical about her story.

Patch has a father-to-scoundrel talk with Max. Max says he thought things were cool between him and Stephanie, but then suddenly Stephanie shut down. Patch tells him she's crazy about him.

Stephanie and Cordy meet in the restroom to go over well-trodden ground. Cordy lectures her for not telling anyone about being raped. Cordy thinks that's why Stephanie's pushing Max away. Stephanie says she can't tell him, "I don't want to be treated like a victim for all the Days Of Our Lives." She swears Cordy to secrecy.

Doug and Julie arrive. They have just flown back from Anguilla, an Island just west of Melaswen. They see Shawn and Belle kissing. Julie wants to find her own mistletoe.

Roman has arrived at Marlena's. He says the detective in Vienna is looking into things. Sami tells him about leaving EJ. Roman wishes she'd done it before she married him.

"I don't have that much sense," says Sami.

Marlena is still focused on Brady's whereabouts, "I called everywhere in Vienna. I was so desperate I even called the opera house."

Sami gasps, "Haven't you heard? Chloe is back in Salem."

Phillip can't see Brady ditching his wife over an expired visa. She claims Brady has changed. "We'll straighten this out," says Phillip. He picks up the phone, "I'll just call the cops in Vienna." Time freezes with Phillip's forefinger poised above the phone.

Patch knows the score, "Stephanie likes you. Just like in the fifth grade. But she is afraid of getting hurt again." Max doesn't blame her for being gun-shy. "I'll let you in on a secret," says Patch, "But you have to keep your mouth shut. That job at the Cheatin' Heart didn't fall into her lap. I set it up because she wanted to be near you."

Stephanie begs Cordy to keep the secret. Cordy agrees. Stephanie breaks down, "I wish I could stop feeling so..."

Cordy interrupts, "Dirty. Is that why you won't tell anyone? You're the one who told me I didn't do anything wrong. You're still the same person. What he did to us will only destroy us if we let it. So don't let it. Don't let that creep win."

Stephanie thanks her for those words of wisdom, "I needed to hear that."

Shawn thinks the party's a hit and so was Belle's speech, so she won't have to worry about Bo and Hope being mad at her anymore today.

Bo tells Hope he thinks there is a problem, "Shawn and Belle are hogging the mistletoe." He picks up some garnish off a plate on the table and holds it above their heads. A new Christmas tradition is born.

Marlena can't believe Chloe hadn't tried to contact her since she got back to town. She vows to find her and also find out what's up with Brady. Roman volunteers to use his cop-powers to get her new cell phone number.

Chloe stops Phillip from making the call. She says she can't give him details, but she's in trouble. She insists she didn't do anything, but the police just wouldn't understand. She says she tried to find Brady but couldn't.

"Did you try looking in the Alpha Chi Theta basement," asks Phillip. Chloe says she will explain when she can but wants his trust.

"Why should I trust you," asks Phillip.

"I thought we were friends," says Chloe.

Phillip says, "This reunion... you just wanted to use me." Chloe says the reason she came back is because Salem is home to her and she is scared. She didn't know where else to turn.

Phillip asks "What the hell did you do? Kill Brady?"

Her phone rings. She looks at the caller ID, "OMG, it's Marlena. And no, I did not kill Brady."

Chloe answers. Marlena says she needs to see her right away. Tonight. Marlena wants answers, "I'll expect to see you within the hour." Chloe bolts.

Bo and Hope smooch. Hope asks if the kiss is for her birthday or what. Bo kisses her, "This is for your birthday." He kisses her again, "This is for our anniversary." Another, "This is for Christmas." He thinks a moment and plants one more, "Kwanzaa. And you should see what I'm going to do for the 4th of July."

"Let the fireworks begin," says Hope.

From across the room, Doug yells, "Julie and I already beat you to it."

Shawn and Belle go over to see Kayla. As they pass, Hope wonders if they will be together as long as her and Bo.

"I hope not for his sake," says Bo.

Patch says he knows Max' reputation as a ladies' man. Max says that's ancient history. Patch says, "Let's put it this way... If you hurt my baby girl I'll come after you with something sharp."

Max says, "I take it you're not coming after me yourself, then."

Cordy assures Stephanie things will be OK and volunteers to go with her to tell Kayla.

Steve gets fresh with Kayla as the girls approach and see them talking to Max. Kayla goes after the girls as playful Patch chokes Max. Kayla catches up with the girls and senses something is wrong. She wants to drag Patch into it. Stephanie doesn't want her to. Kayla says, "Can we please go get Steve?"

Stephanie whimpers, "No! I don't want him to know."

Kayla says, "OK, now you're really scaring me." Stephanie drops the rape bomb. Hugs and tears.

Marlena paces as they all wait for Chloe. Roman gets a call from Vienna and takes it in the other room. Chloe arrives. Unfriendly Sami answers. Marlena lectures Chloe for having to chase her down. Chloe says she has no excuses. Marlena seethes and lectures. Chloe insists she doesn't know where Brady is. She tells her they had a fight and he walked out. Marlena doesn't buy it.

Stephanie hugs Kayla, bawls and tells Cordy she can take things from there. Cordy leaves. Stephanie beats herself up. Kayla tells her this isn't her fault. Kayla vows to have Bo and Roman track Ford down. Stephanie totally freaks, "You can't tell Bo and Roman and you especially can't tell Dad."

Chloe insists she doesn't know where Brady is. Marlena doesn't believe it. She asks for details about the arguments they had. Chloe just says she doesn't know where Brady went. Marlena accuses her of hiding something. Chloe denies it. Marlena yells, "Stop! Tell me where Brady is... why he's not with you... Why I can't reach him."

Roman overhears and says the Vienna police want to ask Chloe the same question.

Bo gives Hope a combo birthday – Christmas - anniversary present.

"You always were a cheapo," says Hope. She opens it and finds a fleur-de-lis necklace from her favorite French designer, Crackerjaques.

Shawn and Belle lock arms and try to drink champagne, but it's way above their level of competence. They give up, drink it the old fashioned way and vow nothing will come between them. Translation, goodbye Shawn and Belle.

Chloe says she doesn't know anything. "At least we all have something in common," says Roman. He says the Vienna police got a phone call from a neighbor who says she heard them arguing. The Vienna police investigated and found someone had ransacked the apartment. Not only that, they found traces of blood, "The Vienna police have questions they want to ask you, Chloe."

Kayla promises she won't tell Patch. She says they will get through this together.

Hope says she has always loved fleur-de-lis. Doug brings cake. They give Hope the honor of cutting it. As she does, she looks at Belle and lectures on what it takes to make a relationship work. After Hope cuts the cake, Belle drags her aside and tells her she agrees with what she said. Hope is soooo glad. Hugs.

Phillip's arrival interrupts the mutual admiration society. Deadly silence fills the room. "Happy anniversary," says Phillip.

Marlena threatens, "You're on notice if you hurt Brady."

Chloe interrupts her. Roman interrupts her interruption. He says the Vienna detective is faxing some questions to his office. Roman wants to drag her to the station.

"If I don't go," asks Chloe.

"We'll extradite you back to Austria," says Roman, "We are doing you a favor." Chloe says this is all a misunderstanding. She says she loves Brady and Marlena both. "Then you have nothing to worry about," says Roman. He and Chloe head for the cop shop.

Marlena turns to Sami, "That girl is flat out lying." Marlena just knows Brady is OK. She lost her husband and won't lose anyone else.

Phillip toasts Bo and Hope. Belle tells him to leave, "You're here because of me. There is no hope for us. Get over it. I love Shawn. You have no place in my life. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," says Phillip, "You make yourself clear. He apologizes for interrupting, wishes everyone a merry Christmas and leaves. Shawn and Belle hug. Bo and Hope stare.

Outside, Phillip stews.

And... one of our Christmas favorites...

Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

That Mysterious Picture

Trying to make sense of that mysterious picture of John and his mother...











And now it's time to open your present. This year for Christmas, Prevuze is giving every single one of its readers a FREE SUBSCRIPTION TO PREVUZE!

Let's see Oprah top that.

Charlie Brown Would Be Proud

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Who am I kidding? It was Salem. It was the worst of times. And here's the worst of what happens next...

Phillip and Chloe romp. Romp Phloe Romp. See Phloe Romp. Romp Phloe Romp. Oops... Phillip backs off, "This is a mistake." Who does he think he is, Sami?"

Shawn and Belle survey the spread at Chez Rouge. Shawn thinks it should be a great anniversary party. "Yeah," says Belle, "And they haven't kicked me out of the family yet."

Shawn reassures her, "That's not gonna happen. How could my mom be on your case all the time if you weren't around?" Shawn drags her over to the mistletoe, "Merry Christmas Mrs. Brady."

"Merry Christmas Mr. Brady."

Poor Shawn is so glad there will be no more secrets. Suddenly the town drunk stumbles into the restaurant yelling something about a merry Christmas... Wait! It's Patch making his grand entrance along with Kayla. And he hasn't even had a beer yet. Patch says there are lots more presents in the car. "I'll help you bring them in," says Shawn, "So Kayla and Belle can share an uncomfortable moment."

Kayla and Belle don't waste any time. Belle digs deep and finds her Ice Woman personality, "The next time you compare notes with Hope get your facts straight!"

Sami and Lucas cuddle on the couch. Sami says it feels right for her to be back with Lucas. She asks about getting a Christmas tree and goes to make a list of what they need for Christmas. Lucas says they can't make it happen this year. Sami says, "Come on Lucas... the twins first Christmas."

Lucas says, "I won't be home for Christmas."

"What?"

EJ remembers Sami's rage. He makes a call, "It's Elvis... No, nothing's wrong. I really need to talk to you though."

Chloe can't believe Phillip has stopped things, "A girl could get insulted. I guess I'm not your type."

Phillip growls, "I don't have a type."

"How about a married dumb blonde," asks Chloe. She makes another play for him, "I'm just looking for a little fun, not a lifetime commitment." That did it. Now that she's taken the "C-Word" out of the picture Phillip gets more enthusiastic about things. They dive onto the couch. Chloe loses control and rips his shirt open. Phillip looks at the shredded material and says, "WHOA! That was my favorite shirt."

"I'll buy you a new one," says Chloe. Phillip backs off again. He heads for the next room. Chloe watches and drools, "The view is even better from behind." Phillip comes out with a new shirt. She asks if he is in his office so much he has a wardrobe full of shirts there, too, "Or do you have a stable of women coming in ripping them apart?"

"No women," says Phillip.

"Unless it's Belle," says Chloe.

Kayla tells Belle she made no judgment, "Hope is doing enough judging for all of us." Belle is skeptical. Kayla knows Belle loves her husband. And her boytoy. Kayla tells her all Bo and Hope care about is that their son is happy. She thinks things will work out.

Outside, Bo tells Hope they will go through this miserable evening and pretend things are OK with Shawn and Belle. They go inside and find the spread. Hope asks if he knew about all this. Bo never knows. "Surprise," says Kayla.

Lucas says he's going to be with Will on Christmas. Sami says Will should be with them instead. They can buy him a ticket home. That's what she wants for Christmas.

The clan gathers. Everyone wishes Bo and Hope a happy anniversary and also a happy birthday to Hope. As the accolades pour in, Belle steps up and gives it a try. She smiles and hugs Hope. Hope is stiff. Belle gives her flowers and then goes off for appetizers.

Chloe asks where Phillip's sense of fun is. "It went to war," he growls.

Chloe says she can help him find it again, "Let's play 'who is Belle with tonight.' It's Shawn. It will always be Shawn." Phillip walks over and opens the door. Chloe asks, "Are you throwing me out?"

"The correct term is 'showing you the door.'"

"This seems like my kind of challenge," says Chloe.

Lucas says Will asked him to come to Switzerland alone.

"Do you think he still hates me," asks Sami.

"Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?"

Sami tells him it won't be that way now. Lucas says he will talk to Will, and they will have other Christmases. Sami wonders how Lucas will go abroad without a passport since Bo took his, "This isn't about Will, is it? This is about the gun and the night EJ was shot."

Shawn and Belle smooch. Hope plays with her catnip and tells Kayla she hasn't told Shawn, "This is too juicy to just blurt it out. I have to torture her for a while." Belle comes up as Kayla leaves. Another uncomfortable moment. Hope tells Belle she will just be thrilled to have her join them at Alice's for Christmas. And we know why.

Chloe says she knows Phillip doesn't want her to leave. She kisses a finger and touches it to his forehead, "Maybe next time."

After she goes, Phillip heads straight for his computer. He brings up the oh-so-comprehensive "ONLINE CORPORATE DATABASE." Beneath the title it says, "Chloe Lane Black." Phillip picks up the phone, "I need you in my office right away. I'll fill you in when you get here."

Lucas tells Sami he's working on getting a fake passport. She reminds him his jail cell won't be fake. He insists he won't get caught. He tells Sami all this happened because she decided to hook up with EJ.

"Oh, yeah," says Sami, "BLAME ME."

EJ wheels himself into the sanctuary at St. Luke's. Tony comes in after him. "The church is still standing," says Tony, "That's a good sign." EJ tells him Sami walked out on him. Tony is sorry, "Not surprised, though. You offered her everything but your heart." EJ can't believe he heard that. He insists he offered Sami his heart on a silver platter. Tony thinks not, "There is no greater gift you can give to a woman than your heart. Well, in Anna's case, you can feed her, but we're not talking about her right now."

EJ says, "Samantha isn't interested in my heart unless it stops. I don't know what I will do."

"Ruining lives is not difficult," says Tony, "Making a life is real work."

EJ asks why Tony isn't bitter, "After all, he took many years of your life away from you."

"Two words," says Tony, "Lili and Lala." Tony says he had a choice and chose life. He wonders what EJ will choose. EJ says he can't be his own man and Stefano's son. Tony thinks he may turn out to be the kind of man Sami can finally love.

Lucas says he didn't mean to blame her. Coulda fooled Sami. She says, "EJ offered to save you for a price and I paid it. And I am still paying it. I don't want you to go." Lucas says for her to just tell the family he is sick. Sami says she's not helping him run, "I think you're lying to me."

Phillip tells his assistant to find out everything she can about Chloe. He wants to know who's funding her, "I want to know everything down to what she had for breakfast this morning, and I want the information tonight..." The assistant leaves. Phillip lowers his voice and completes his sentence, "Before the little nuisance becomes a bigger problem."

The family oohs and aahs over a Bo and Hope video. We roll through all the tender moments of their lives... Bo with Billie... Hope with Patrick... "I want to toast the birthday girl," beams Maggie, "And also the wad I'm making off this party." Kayla toasts Bo for holding the family together.

Patch squeezes Kayla and adds his two cents, "And for having a beautiful sweet sister." Patch will say anything for another drink.

Belle tosses in a toast, "Here's to Bo and Hope for teaching the importance of love and FORGIVENESS. "

Bo has something to say. The entire town of Salem holds its breath. "You're my wife. You are my life. Thank you for being mine." Kiss. In the background, Chloe watches, and then walks up to the table. Hope introduces her to Steve and Kayla. Chloe says she can't stay. They all insist. Shawn goes for champagne.

Belle stands up and we share yet another uncomfortable moment. "I can leave," says Chloe. Gracious Belle says she doesn't have a problem with Chloe staying. Give it a few minutes and she'll change her tune. Kayla brings cake.

Shawn edges up to Patch, "I just want to thank you for giving Belle that picture of me in my birthday suit."

Patch smiles, "Baby's first bath... Chicks love it." Shawn and Patch head off together so Patch can offer more advice on what chicks love. Chloe invites Belle to the restroom. Here it comes.

Lucas wants space. He says he'll come home when the time is right. He doesn't want to argue about this. He tells her to break out decorations while he goes for a tree.

"You'd better be coming back," says Sami. He insists he will. Lucas leaves.

Sami makes a call, "Please pick up."

EJ wonders what new hell Stefano has in store for him. Tony asks if he had a wish what it would be. EJ says, "To build a life with Samantha and my son, love them without conditions and have them love me."

"Make it happen," says Tony, "Stand up to Stefano. You have a child with Samantha. If that's not a start what is? Denying Stefano will be tough and when all is said and done you may not be able to share the life you helped to create."

EJ isn't afraid for himself. He's afraid for everyone around him. He wishes there were another way. Tony says Stefano's health is not as fragile as he'd like them to think, "You should speak to you-know-who. It might be of some help to you." As he gets up to leave, we get a parting shot from Tiny Tony, "God bless us everyone."

Lucas comes back into the apartment dragging a tree. "Geez," says Sami, "You were supposed to get an evergreen."

"Its' not much to look at," says Lucas, "But it's ours."

"Charlie brown would be proud," says Sami. Lucas apologizes for scaring her. He promises she won't lose him. Sami says she called Will after he left. Oops.

The assistant gives Phillip the info on Chloe. Phillip reads through it, "No divorce... No separation... And landlord hasn't seen Brady in some time. This is my favorite part. Chloe Lane Black is a person of interest in the case of her missing husband Brady Black."

Belle joins Chloe in the restroom, "Make it fast. What's going on with Phillip?"

EJ prays. He starts with the usual, "Gee, God, You haven't heard much from me lately." God is used to it. "But you've answered my prayers," says Reverend Elvis, "I love my father. But I can't be him... I can't honor his ways. I'm sorry... for all the people I've hurt and the things I've done. I want to be a good father. I want to know what it's like to love somebody unconditionally and I want to know what it's like to feel that love. Just give me another chance with Samantha. Please. I promise you I will be a changed man." He gets up and leaves. God scoffs.

Sami says no one was home when she made the call. Lucas doesn't blame her for doubting him. He's not angry. Sami wants to put things on hold and find out if Will is OK. If he is, Lucas doesn't have to go. Instead, they could have Will come home. Lucas is just a bit too agreeable, "That sounds fine."

"I just want us to be together," whines Sami.

Back in the restroom of doom, Chloe says, "You know, I've always had a thing for Phillip."

"Let me remind you," says Belle, "Brady is my brother."

"I threw myself at him," says Chloe, "Phillip is living like a monk because of you. If you say the word, Phillip will lay his world at your feet." Chloe leaves. Belle tosses her purse.

Outside, Chloe gets a call from Phillip. She asks what he wants. He asks her to meet for a drink. He says he's sorry for treating her the way he did. Chloe suggests meeting at Chez Rouge. Phillip suggests his office, "There are more shirts where this one came from." Chloe agrees. Phillip can't wait. He hangs up and goes over her file.

We're back in the restroom of doom. Slowly, we pan down the row of stalls. Slowly, a stall door opens. Slowly, the ubiquitous mother-in-law from hell emerges. Now, Hope's on a mission, "Tis a far, far better scheme I hatch..."

Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Get The Pope On The Line

Shawn and Maggie plot and scheme together at Chez Rouge. Shawn confirms that what Bo and Hope think will be an intimate little dinner will actually be a big surprise party for their anniversary. Shawn thanks Maggie as she leaves. Chloe walks up and chirps, "Hi, Shawn." Shawn gives her the cold shoulder and walks away.

She follows and asks what's wrong. Shawn grits his teeth, "You've got some guts to waltz in here after that stunt you pulled."

Belle studies her nursing book, "Distal phalanges... middle phalanx... proximal phallic... Oh, hell, I'll just call them fingers on the test. Who'll know the difference? " Phillip walks in and startles her. She sticks her middle phalanges in the air and tells him to get out. He reminds her Shawn is the one who betrayed her. Belle tells him it doesn't matter, "We shouldn't have done it in the first place. And we also shouldn't have planted the gun." Phillip thinks Shawn shouldn't have blabbed. He made Belle an accessory. Belle blows up and says she's glad Shawn told the truth and she doesn't deserve his love.

Billie arrives at Lucas' place in a rush. Lucas had told her it was an emergency with the kids, but now he says it's something else. Billie thinks maybe Lucas is upset about her conversation with Bo, "I swore to him you couldn't have tried to kill EJ. If you did, you're the worst shot in town."

"Except for the bozos who missed him completely," says Lucas.

Sami rages at EJ. She wants an annulment or a divorce. EJ reminds her of her so-called feelings and asks if that is a lie. She says him faking paralysis is a lie. Sami seethes. She's had it, "Call your father and tell him to get the Pope on the line or whomever. We are getting this marriage annulled. I want out right now."

Phillip wants to know what he can do. Belle says he can leave her alone. "I'm the only one who understands you," he insists, "Well, I understand most of your personalities, anyway." He asks why she told Shawn.

"Because Chloe told him we were in the hotel room together."

Phillip suggests, "Maybe you should be honest with him."

Belle says, "It would be a total disaster."

"Gee," says Phillip, "Wouldn't that be a shame."

Chloe rolls her eyes, "I guess it's kill the messenger time." Chloe thought Shawn would want to know about it. Shawn thinks her timing was lousy. He insists Belle isn't cheating. Chloe says Belle clearly didn't want her to know she and Phillip were in the hotel room together. She apologizes. Shawn softens, "If I had seen them at the hotel together I probably would have thought the same thing... If I could think, that is," He tells her Phillip has been going after Belle for months. He would be furious with anyone who didn't tell him if they were having an affair. Chloe changes the subject. She has good news. She has a date with Phillip tonight.

"You sure you wanna go that route," asks Shawn.

Chloe's smile fades, "That's not the reaction I wanted. I thought you'd be happy since we are friends. Am I still your friend?"

Shawn smiles, "Friends don't let friends date Kiriakis'." Chloe says she's going out with him to help Shawn. The selfless angel of mercy thinks she can distract him from Belle. She wants to get close to Phillip again. Shawn says, "Phillip isn't the same guy you used to know. Only about 2/3 of him is the same."

Sami wants the marriage over. EJ doesn't think she's in any frame of mind to make decisions. He wants to revisit the subject when she calms down. Sami says there is nothing to revisit, "I won't let you rape me again!"

EJ gets nasty. He tells her to get out, "You'll be back, though, because you need me and want me."

Lucas, the wank who couldn't shoot straight, asks Billie to be Ali's godmother. Billie is stunned. She wonders if they don't want someone else. "I want my daughter to model herself after you," says Lucas.

"After a former drug user," asks Billie.

"No," says Lucas, "After a former drug user, home-wrecker and prostitute who got it on with her daughter's boyfriend. You've had obstacles that would destroy most women. I want her to be like you." Billie would be honored. She thanks him and agrees to do it. She says she's a little scared about it, though. Lucas says she will be great. Billie has one more question, "Now that Bo knows you were at the church and knows you had a gun and now that you are looking for someone to take care of Ali... Lucas, I, want to know – are you about to get arrested?"

Lucas says no and tells her to calm down. Billie says he can tell her anything. Lucas snorts, "Oh yeah? And what happens when Bo asks you about it."

"Touché," says Billie, "But why the rush to make me Ali's godmother? You're worried. What is it?"

"I'm worried about Will," says Lucas, "He belongs here, not in Zurich. I wanna know if something happens there is someone who will take care of Ali." Billie promises to keep Ali safe.

EJ knows what he is saying frightens Sami but that's because she knows it's true. Sami chortles, "I know you're sneaky and selfish but I grew up. Now I'm a sneaky and selfish adult." She tells him to call Stefano and have him fire up the vendetta again.

EJ threatens, "If you do this, people you love will die."

"In that case," says Sami, "maybe I should fall in love with you."

Shawn says Phillip is more ruthless and manipulative than he was in high school. Chloe claims she can take care of herself. Shawn asks about Brady. Chloe says they grew apart, "People change."

"That's my point," he says. Chloe thinks maybe she will like the changes in Phillip. She appreciates Shawn's help, but not his advice, "I'd stop worrying about me and Phillip and start worrying about Phillip and your wife."

Phillip tells Belle Shawn will find out about their little romp one way or another, "Bo and Hope could turn on you if you do something they don't like... Or Kayla." He promises he won't say anything. Belle says it would kill Shawn if he found out and asks Phillip to leave. On the way out he mentions Chloe and says he asked her out.

The blood drains from Belle's face, "She left you for my brother!"

"Chloe said she wants to get back together," says Phillip.

"That would be a rebound relationship."

"The more casual the better," says Phillip, "Why do you care?"

Belle doth protest too much, "She's using you."

"Maybe I want her to use me," says Phillip, "I've decided to take your advice and get on with my life." He leaves. Belle huffs.

Shawn claims he can handle Phillip, "And the bar at the pub has the impressions of my forehead in it to prove that." He cautions Chloe to be careful with him and leaves.

Billie asks if Lucas will be taking Ali to Alice's for Christmas. He suggests maybe she could do that. Billie gasps at the horrible prospect that Lucas won't be with Ali on Christmas. Lucas says he will be with her earlier that day, but thought Billie could take her to Alice's. She asks if he wants to run this by Sami. He doesn't. He also doesn't want to hang around the Brady clan as the ex husband. He'd hate to have to compete with all the other ex-husbands. Billie agrees to do it. Hugs. Billie smooshes a teddy bear in his face and leaves.

EJ tells Sami if she walks out she is no longer protected. She says his threats don't work any more. She's going to collect the kids and get out. EJ yells, "You're doing this because I am this close to being the man you danced with on the pier."

Sami goes berserk. She rushes his wheelchair, picks up the front end and dumps it. EJ goes somersaulting backwards across the room. When he stops rolling he screams, "What did you do that for? Get me up! Get me up!"

Sami refuses. She tells him he doesn't have to pretend to be an invalid any more. Lucas comes in and asks what happened.

"It's over Lucas," cries Sami, "I'm getting a divorce."

Lucas hugs her, "That works for me." Sami says there has to be another way for their family to be safe. EJ begs them to get him up. They ignore him. Finally Lucas turns to him and sneers, "You're not getting any help form me."

Shawn comes into the pub. He had Belle share small talk about the upcoming anniversary party which will, of course, give Hope another chance to slice her to ribbons. She tells him Phillip was there. She says she didn't ask him to come but he wouldn't leave. She wanted to tell him because she didn't want him to think she's keeping anything from him, even though she is, "Shawn, talk to me. Forgive me."

Hard-hearted Shawn won't do it, "I can't. At least not yet." She goes whiney on him – she's reallyreallyreally sorry. He berates her, "You deceived me without batting an eyelash." Belle bats her eyelashes.

Phillip joins Chloe. She asks if they are going someplace romantic. Phillip says that would depend on her definition of romantic. She finishes her drink and they take off.

Belle says it wasn't easy doing what she did. But she wanted him to get into the academy. Shawn says she played right into Phillip's hand. She begs him to believe her and says she's sooooo sorry. He says, "Sorry isn't enough. Things need to change around here."

Phillip has taken Chloe to the most romantic spot in town – his office in the Titan building. Chloe is impressed with all the grandeur. She asks if work is his life. He tells her it's not everything he does. He also sits on seven other boards. Chloe is again impressed. She thinks people must think a lot of him. He says people respect power, but he has been called ruthless from time to time. "Ruthless," gasps Chloe, "I've always thought you were a teddy bear."

"I'm nobody's teddy bear."

Lucas takes bottle of water from EJ's fridge. "Help yourself," says the prone and struggling EJ. He claims Sami will be back in his bed before long, "Once the jury finds you guilty life won't be so rosy for you." Drums of doom sound in the background.

Maggie works the floor at Chez Rouge. Billie comes up to her and says she is there to talk about Lucas. Maggie has her sit down. Billie tells her about the godmother thing, "He made it sound urgent that I am there for Ali in case something happens to him."

EJ says he thinks Lucas shot him, "If I were you I'd have something stronger than water. You should think about taking up drinking again because where you are going you'll need it."

Phillip says high school was another life, "I've seen things no man should ever have to see and done things no man should ever have to do, like being married to Belle. This is all I know how to do. You need someone who can love you. I've lost the ability to love."

"I know that isn't true," says Chloe, "Because I've seen the way you look at Belle."

Belle knows they have to be honest with each other. She apologizes about the gun again. He knows she was trying to help. Hugs. They exchange perfunctory 'I love yous.' Shawn wants to make the marriage work, but there can't be any secrets, "Is there anything else you want to tell me? Belle?"

Finally, Belle breaks the silence, "Yeah. There is something else you need to know."

"Whatever it is, we can handle it," he says, "Or is there something else you haven't told me about Phillip?" Belle backs off. She says she doesn't know if she want to have any more kids.

"That's it," asks Shawn, "I thought you were going to say something much worse – like you and Phillip paid the academy to get me accepted." He thinks they had better get ready to go to Chez Rouge. He can't believe she thought he would be mad about that, "There is nothing you could do to change the way I feel about you. And I remember saying exactly the same thing to Mimi before she lied to me, too." He thanks her for trusting him, "No more secrets ever, OK?" Smiles. Shawn leaves. Belle bawls.

Phillip doesn't want to talk about Belle. Chloe says she isn't the same person she was in high school either, "I'm tired of being alone, aren't you?" Chloe moves in. Phillip doesn't mind. They hit the couch.

Maggie wonders what if Lucas is drinking again. Billie insists he's not. She isn't sure what is wrong, though. "Well," says Maggie, "If I hear anything I will let you know. And the rest of the town, too."

Sami brings the kids out. EJ says they will discuss this later. Sami says there is nothing to discuss. She and Lucas leave.

Outside, Sami tells Lucas the only thing she regrets is how long it has taken her to come to her senses. She apologizes for everything she has put him through. As Sami goes into the apartment, Lucas remembers Kate encouraging him to get out of the country.

Sami calls him. Lucas snaps out of it. She says for the first time in months she feels free and happy. She kisses him. Lucas scowls.


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Detective Extraordinaire

Roman is at Marlena's to go on a midnight mission. Sorry, I guess he's there to help take the boxes to the Midnight Mission. Roman looks around and gripes about the number of boxes. Marlena is sorry about the big load, "I would have called someone for help but under the circumstances..."

Roman interrupts ("under the circumstances" is a lightning rod in Salem), "Are you talking about Belle and Phillip?"

"How do you know about that," asks Marlena.

"I passed Hope's billboard on the way over here," says Roman.

Roman tells her if she wants to talk about it that's OK and if she doesn't want to talk about it, that's OK, too. Who is he kidding? Marlena wants to talk about it. "I'm not sure what to do," says Marlena.

"About Belle," he asks.

"No," says Marlena, "About Hope."

"Stuffing a large sock in her mouth would be a good start," says Roman.

Hope walks into the pub and sees Belle sitting at a table. Belle is going through her inventory of new clothes. Hope asks, "What's all this?"

"It's some clothes I got a poor disadvantaged girl for Christmas," says Belle, "She lives with her parents in a one-room hovel above a bar and her parents are having marriage difficulties. They don't have a dime even though the wife's father was a billionaire and between them, they have the IQ of a retarded doorknob."

That whets Hope's appetite for more. She decides to join Belle for the lunch from Hell. Hope doesn't even get her butt on the seat before she starts in. Belle tries to be cheerful and assures Hope she and Shawn are all lovey-dovey, "And I'm gonna tell Claire every day how much Mommy and Daddy love her."

Hope flips her hair (That makes her snotty little question much more effective. She learned that little trick in her "Being a Busybody for Dummies" Book) , "And which Daddy would that be?" The temperature in the pub drops to absolute zero.

Phillip acts like a tycoon as Shawn comes in acting like a dope. Oh, no acting involved. Shawn says he's going to rat out Phillip for planting the gun. Phillip says, "You're not going through with your threat."

Shawn says, "As a matter of fact I am. My dad is going to be here any minute."

Kate and Lucas are at Chez Rouge. Lucas has told her Bo has the gun. Kate is unimpressed. Lucas rants at Kate for being so nonchalant about things. He starts to leave. Kate stops him. She tells him she's always taken care of him, and then tells him she will only be charged with a misdemeanor. She'll only get a slap on the wrist. Lucas postures and snorts, "Meanwhile, I'll rot in a jail." Kate assures him he will come out unscathed. "No," says Lucas, "The cops have a way to test the bullet in EJ's spine. It will match my gun. I did it. I shot EJ."

EJ stares out the window as Sami putters around the apartment. He tells her is in the process of sending out their Christmas cards, "complete with one of those bragging letters you Yankees seem to like so much." He gives her one to read.

Sami says, "We're not sending this out."

"Why," asks EJ, "The grammar isn't that bad is it?"

"You misspelled 'rape,'" says Sami. She says she has to go over to her apartment. He stops her. He wants to spend some time together. He has good news. He had another PT session this morning and was able to stand pretty much on his own, "I was thinking... maybe we could go into the bedroom and see if we can connect with some of those feelings you have for me. He kisses her hand, smiles and waits for her answer.

Belle says she is trying to be nice. Hope isn't. Belle says Claire knows Shawn is her father and she also tells Hope it's over with Phillip. Hope takes out a crowbar and pries a little more. She asks why Belle met with Phillip before the reunion.

Shawn says Phillip could be up on charges of obstructing justice. He thinks Phillip did this to get close to Belle. Phillip swears nothing happened in the hotel room.

"That must have been tough for you," says Shawn, "You're not used to someone telling you no." Phillip thinks Shawn is trying to punish Belle.

Marlena says Hope is being too hard on Belle. "I'm not too crazy about Belle and Phillip myself," she says, "That's got to be tough – juggling two men."

"There seems to be a lot of that going on," says Roman, "In fact, it hits close to home with you, doesn't it." A referee tosses a flag and gives Roman fifteen yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Marlena dodges the question. Roman says, "I can see she will have to learn from her mistakes just like her mom did."

Marlena chuckles, "You were not a mistake, just an error in judgment I kept making over and over and over." Roman gets a call from the DA.

Lucas is stiff, "That's right. I did it. I thought you should hear it from me first. There is nothing we can do to fight it." Kate says they will play dirty and win. "We're not doing any of that," says Lucas, "I am pleading guilty."

"Wow," says Sami, "You don't waste any time do you?" EJ says it's about time they put some romance into the marriage. Sami accuses him of faking his injuries and tries to pull him up out of his chair. She picks up a 20 pound barbell and slings it around, "Was this fake too? Were your workouts fake?" EJ swears he's not faking it. He's on thin ice. Never argue with a barbell-wielding woman. Sami thinks he's been stringing her along.

"I am not," insists EJ, "I can prove it. Talk to my doctor... or my therapist... or your lover who put a bullet in my back in the first place!"

Marlena hyperventilates as Roman talks to the DA's office. Roman gets off the phone and says the charge has been reduced to a misdemeanor for gun possession. Marlena is sooooo relieved. Hugs. Marlena is surprised. She thinks he had something to do with this, "I don't know how to thank you."

Roman has a few ideas, "That's what ex-husbands are for. And speaking of ex-wives, Kate got the same deal."

Marlena asks, "Roman, who shot EJ?"

"That is the million dollar question."

Kate asks if Lucas has thought about the consequences of pleading guilty. "No," says Lucas, "That would involve thinking." She begs him to fight. Lucas says Stefano will go after his children and he doesn't want to lose them, "I have already lost Sami. Pretty ironic isn't it. I hated EJ and in the end it's my own hatred that took it all away."

Sami insists Lucas didn't do it. She accuses EJ of being a snoop and listening in.

Belle says she and Phillip talked about Claire when they were together in the hotel room. Hope accuses her of lying, "And were you and Phillip talking about Claire when you were upstairs having sex?" The same referee drops a game-misconduct on Hope. Meanwhile, people at surrounding tables scoot a little closer so they can hear better.

Belle attempts to contain her anger, "I've tried to be respectful of you."

Hope is on a roll, "Talk about respect! What about your husband?" Belle says if Hope had any respect for her she would have kept her mouth shut in the first place. She reminds hope of the difficulties she and Bo have had. The referee is running out of flags, fifteen yards for Belle.

Hope says she has tried to give Belle chances. Belle nukes, "You haven't given me chances. You have given me tests and you want me to fail."

Phillip says if Shawn tells Bo, Belle will be an accessory to a crime. That's Bo's cue, "Hi guys, what's going on?"

Kate tells Lucas he's not a murderer. He asks if she has forgotten about Franco Kelly. She says that was a dark part of his life and she knows he wouldn't go back and do it again. Lucas tells the story. He was trying to relax the night of the wedding. As he sat there brooding, he got angrier about the whole thing, so he called the nurse and went to the church. He couldn't stop himself, "Do you believe me now? Instead of EJ going down it's my life that's over." Kate is stunned. Lucas says, "Just say something."

Kate drags out one of the old Salem standards, "We're gonna get through this."

"There is nothing we can do," says Lucas.

Kate thinks for a minute, "There is something you can do. Leave the country. Immediately." The cheering audience drowns out the rest of the conversation.

EJ says, "I keep telling you the monitor was turned off. It's like I'm talking to a wall." The wall says Lucas told her he didn't shoot EJ. EJ claims Lucas is lying, "I think the stress of juggling two men is taking its toll."

"There seems to be a lot of that going on," says Sami, "But don't worry – for me, that will end soon.

In a secluded corner over at Salem Laboratories, a needle on the Richter Scale begins to move. It's The Big One! Check that, it's Belle teeing off on Hope, "TWO WORDS HOPE – PATRICK LOCKHART!" That does it. The referee ejects Belle from the game.

Hope has a great comeback, "Nobody's perfect..."

Belle cuts her off, "I am married to Shawn. If you don't like it that's your problem."

"Strange place for a meeting," says Bo, "Whoever heard of having a meeting in an office? " Shawn tells Bo the gun was a setup. Phillip says that's ridiculous. Shawn completes the story. Bo asks if it's true. Phillip denies. Bo takes Shawn aside and asks why Philip would do it.

Shawn starts to answer but cuts himself off, "Faged-aboud-it."

"It's Belle, isn't it," asks Bo.

As they walk toward the pub, Bo tells Shawn he did the right thing. "I implicated my wife," says Shawn, "What will happen to her?"

Don't worry; Ole honest cop Bo will sweep it under the rug. "The two of you gotta talk," he advises.

Belle leaves to get Claire as the two of them enter the pub. Hope tells Bo she was asking about the meeting with Phillip. Bo starts to tell Hope about the planted gun but Shawn interrupts, "Dad what do you think you are doing?"

Lucas says he can't leave the country. He won't abandon Ali. Kate says Stefano will get him if he stays, "Go to Switzerland. Maybe you can take another crack at Carrie."

"Switzerland," says Lucas, "Skiing... Chocolate factories... I'll send you a cuckoo clock. That's the first place they would look. Besides, Bo took my passport. I'm stuck here."

EJ says he had an exam this morning. The police requested it. He says they took a hi-res image of the bullet inside his back and soon they will know for certain if that bullet came from Lucas' gun.

"No," growls Sami, "We will know for certain it didn't. He didn't do it."

"For argument's sake," says EJ, "Let's say he did. I can make you a deal that will guarantee Lucas protection."

Marlena looks at the ripped up picture. Roman comes out and asks what it is. She shows it to him. "Is this John," asks Roman.

"Why else would someone send it to him," asks Marlena. Marlena knows the woman in the picture is not Daphne. She was hoping Roman could help her find out her identity.

Shawn takes Bo aside and asks him not to tell Hope Belle planted the gun. Belle comes out with Claire and zones in on Bo and Shawn talking. Hope tells her she looks nervous.

Kate offers to get Lucas a phony passport. "Oh great," huffs Lucas, "Then we can add ten years to my sentence." Kate suggests he take a cargo ship on the Kiriakis fleet. That way he won't need a passport. When Stefano dies they will find a way to clear him, "Should I make the arrangements?"

Sami wants to know what kind of a deal. "All I want," says EJ, "Is that we... you... you live here exclusively and sleep in my bed. In return, I will agree not to press charges. Lucas will go free. I will also make sure my father doesn't retaliate. Do we have a deal?"

Sami winds up like Roger Clemens on steroids and... Oh, I guess that's not just a figure of speech any more, is it? Anyway, she hauls off and starts to slap him. EJ, blocks her. Their faces come together like two atoms in a linear accelerator and lots of huffing and hissing ensues.

Roman looks at the picture, "If that is John, this picture was taken quite a while ago." You can't put anything past Roman. Marlena is sure it's John. Roman thinks it would be impossible to find out Mama's identity.

Marlena suggests he could start by trying to find out something about the pearls Mama is wearing. She turns on the charm, "For a detective like you... Detective extraordinaire..."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," says Roman, "No pressure right? Just what do you hope to find?"

"His past," says Marlena, "His future was lost to me. His past is all I have."

Belle tells Hope they aren't going to do this in front of Claire.

Shawn doesn't want Bo to upset Hope. Bo says she has her reasons to be upset. Belle approaches them and Bo makes over Claire. Belle tries to make small talk with Bo, but he is distant. Bo and Hope leave.

Outside Bo tells Hope about the gun. "What favor did Phillip want in return," asks Hope.

"I've got a good idea."

"So do I."

Sami and EJ invent a new sport – wheelchair wresting. He grabs her and pulls her in, "It will be wonderful. We will spend all the Days Of Our Lives together happily – as it was meant to be."

Sami rages, "I am never sleeping with you ever again."

Roman asks to keep the picture. He will get a copy and see what he can find out about the necklace. He asks what Marlena is doing for Christmas. He wants her to come to Alice's. She will think about it.

Belle asks Shawn if he thought Bo was distant with her. Shawn did. She asks why.

"He knows about the gun," says Shawn. Belle freaks. Shawn says Bo will protect her. He says he tried to keep Belle's name out of it but Phillip wouldn't cooperate. He leaves to go get a camera so they can take some pictures of what's-her-face.

Belle yanks out her cell phone and calls Phillip, "What the hell were you thinking? I can't believe you told Bo!"

"I didn't tell him," says Phillip, "Shawn did."

"Shawn said you did."

"I didn't betray you," says Phillip, "Your husband did." Dumb-da-dumb-dumb.

Lucas agrees to go along with Kate's plan if they match the bullet. Kate will make the arrangements before Christmas.

EJ says, "Husbands do make love to their wives."

Sami has a meltdown, "Is that what you called it when you raped me? Is this an ultimatum? Gee, this seems familiar. You've done this before."

"There is a difference," says EJ, "We are married. And now you have all these feelings for me."

"If Lucas is in trouble I'll save him myself," whimpers Sami.

"Don't be foolish," says EJ, "It's time you wised up."

"I am finally wising up," says Sami, "This ends right now."

As Roman starts to leave, he sees a piece of paper on Marlena's floor. He picks it up and looks at it, "I think this is the other half of the picture!" He takes the bottom half and tries to fit the two pieces together, "I think we just figured out Mama's identity." Marlena looks at the picture and gasps...

Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.