The Deed

It's going to be a fun time at the Cook family Thanksgiving. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Maggie: "Holding on to all this anger can hurt you." Holly: "I know. That's what I'm angry about." #DAYS

It won't be long before Brady and Ava are in a room at the Salem Inn next to the room Chad and Cat are sharing. #DAYS

Ava asks about the women Brady has been involved with… Probably wanting to know if there is a waiting list. #DAYS

Tate says he and Sophia can watch TV because he has one in his bedroom. How conveeeeenient. #DAYS

Holly is "just going over to see Tate." What could go wrong? #DAYS

Don't forget, Chad and Cat are still married… as long as the US recognizes French marriages performed by a guy with a license from the Internet. #DAYS

Tate and Sophia are about to do the deed. Tate: "Are you OK with this?" Sophia: "Yes." Tate's OK with it. Sophia's OK with it. I'm thinking Holly wouldn't be OK with it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "This is just a nice talk… no drama. I haven't had a conversation like this in a long time." Ava: "Anything else you haven't had in a long time?" #DAYS

Phone Sex

Chanel shows up when Alex is half dressed. In Chad's opinion he's half undressed and the other half is coming soon. #DAYS

Leo says there is a sex scandal at Body and Soul. The only sex scandal with that bunch would be if people weren't having it. #DAYS

Joy protests that Nancy is suffocating her. Nancy plays the old "just who's paying for your room" card. #DAYS

Chanel and Joy meet. The Chanel-Johnny-Joy-Alex hot mess of a quadrangle will be complete when Joy meets Alex. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "We should bring back Lorna with you playing her on Body and Soul." Kate: "I don't want to be in front of the camera. I'm more of a backside girl." Abe: "I would have guessed you were more of a Missionary girl." #DAYS

Stephanie: "I am a publicist. I am not an actress." Then she definitely belongs on Body and Soul. #DAYS

Chanel to Johnny: "Where is your wedding ring?" Apparently it's on sabbatical. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nancy: "Whose wedding ring is this?" Joy: "I'm not discussing this. I'm leaving." Nancy: "Where are you going?" Joy: "For a walk." Nancy: "Of shame?" #DAYS

Kate tells Alex and Stephanie to stay away from each other, then storms off. Alex: "So how about…" Stephanie: "Phone sex?" #DAYS

Fornicating

Opening shot: Gay Paree. Or to be politically correct should I say LGBTQ Paree? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "Are you Abigail?" FauxAbby/Catharina: "No." Chad: "I married you so we could be intimate and now that's impossible. Before you go can I at least cop a feel?" #DAYS

Stephanie: "Alex and I can't keep our hands off of each other." Jada: "I'll bet it will happen again." Stephanie: "I wouldn't bet against it." Oh, it's so likely to happen that DraftKings has suspended betting on it. #DAYS

Jada: "It's not a crime for two people to get together and occasionally have sex… unless someone wants more than that." Dear, God, like a relationship? Bite your tongue and wash your mouth out with soap. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Can we not call what Alex and I are doing 'Lovemaking?'" Jada: "OK. How about if we call it fornicating?" #DAYS

A Cheap Roll In The Hay

Chad: "I lost my mom when I was your age." Right… back in the days when he was Chad Peterson. #DAYS

Brady to Fiona: "When I met you I thought you were kind… fun…" and a cheap roll in the hay. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "Sophia said she liked me and she kissed me. Sorry about that. I know you were into her." Aaron: "I was. But we used protection." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "I'll bet you and Holly are at odds over a boy." Sophia: "Yes, I liked him first. She broke the 'girl code' because I had dibbs on him." #DAYS

Ava tells Sophia not to take everyone's advice. Then follows up by giving her advice. #DAYS

FauxAbby's cover is falling apart. #DAYS

JJ: "I was a cop long enough to know proof can be doctored." And doctors can doctor proof. #DAYS

Undressed

Alex to Chanel: "I really did a number on you last night." Any chance that number was 69?

Cretin
Hardhead
Addled
Dumb
#DAYS

Next on #DOOL — FauxAbby: "I'm a basket case." Chad: "I'll take you any way I can get you… preferably undressed." #DAYS

Mother Chucker

Xander shows up and saves Sarah from getting "Sweet Charlotted" down the stairs in her wheelchair. #DAYS

Johnny to Alex: "You seem to be in a particularly good mood today." Johnny, that doesn't mean he banged Chanel. It's possible to be in a good mood without getting laid. Difficult, but possible. #DAYS

When he finds out she hit Sarah, Xander kicks Fiona to the curb. Does that make him a mother chucker? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada to Stephanie: "You slept with a guy you used to go out with. It's not a scandal. It's something a slut would do but not a scandal." #DAYS

Alex and Stephanie decide they should be just friends. Then they seal the deal by getting really friendly. #DAYS

Relaxed About Sex

Next on #DOOL — Patch (on phone): "How's the city of light?" Chad: "You didn't take the time difference into account. It's midnight here, so the city of light is… dark." #DAYS

Brady says when he gets out of prison in 10 years Sarah will still be in a wheelchair. On #DOOL nobody stays in a wheelchair. There is a miracle around every corner. Sarah will probably be dancing as a Rockette. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: Is it hard to believe two people were not drinking at a bar?" Eric: "If it was a salad bar." #DAYS

There once was a girl named Abby
Her looks, they weren't too shabby
She went to Paree
Ate nothing but Brie
And Now she's getting too flabby.
#DAYS

Chad invites Holly to stay with him and FauxAbby. Since Holly is a virgin, maybe they can teach her something on their wedding night. #DAYS

Chad invites Holly to stay with him and FauxAbby. Hey, it's France. They're more relaxed about sex over there, so Chad and FauxAbs probably won't even have to close their door on their wedding night. #DAYS

Steve: "Who would have known that Kayla and I are not only husband and wife, but we're also father and daughter." Hey, it's #DOOL. It's possible. #DAYS

Fiona's house of cards is collapsing. #DAYS 

Second Base

Next on #DOOL — FauxAbby: "There is something that should happen before we go all the way." Chad: "What? Let me get to second base?" #DAYS

Chad consents to marrying FauxAbby. Her proposal must have sent his solitary brain cell spinning. #DAYS

FauxAbby asks Chad to marry her and she got everything she wanted… his credit card. #DAYS

Over two million people in Paris. How could Holly possibly have avoided seeing FauxAbby. #DAYS

Speaking French Makes Me Horny

I see Faux Abby and Chad took the non-stop Super Sonic Transport to Paris. That would be believable if Salem was big enough for an international airport and if the SST still existed. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Clyde: "I don't get your generation. You half-ass everything." Mark: "Then why are you the one in prison and I'm not?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "Veux-tu couche avec moi?" Faux Abby: "Quel choc! Pourquoi me demandes-tu ça maintenant?" Chad: "Because speaking French makes me horny." #DAYS

If Sarah recants her claim that she saw Brady, EJ will charger her with perjury. That puts her between a rock and a hard place. Or with Xander advising her, I guess I should say that puts her between a blockhead and a hard place. #DAYS

Horny Chad is buying FauxAbby's entire crock of BS. #DAYS

Not that I'm on scumbag Fiona's side but she should have asked Eric "who died and made you prosecutor?" #DAYS

Faux Abby says she doesn't think it's a good idea to be intimate. Chad, on the other had, thinks it's a terrific idea. #DAYS

Conjugal Visits

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "EJ is doing a lot these days." Eric: "What's he doing?" Brady: "For starters… Gabi." #DAYS

EJ and Stefan both look like they bolted out of the barber shop in the middle of their haircuts. #DAYS

Eric: "You have a future. You still have things to look forward to." Brady: "Like what?" Like years of conjugal visits with Fiona. #DAYS

Fiona: "I have a confession to make." I doubt it will be about hitting Sarah. It's probably something like, "The morning after we had sex, I'm the one who burned the toast." #DAYS

Just Friends... With Benefits

Stephanie on the phone: "Alex just wants to be friends." Stephanie with half naked Alex at her door: "Come on in and be friendly." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Do you want a ride?" Alex: "YOU BET!" Stephanie: "I meant a ride to the show." #DAYS

Dr: Lamoré: "Today we have witnessed a miracle?" What miracle… that #DOOL turned this lame Body and Soul plot-line around? #DAYS

Stephanie and Alex break the speed of light going from "just friends" to "just friends with benefits." #DAYS

The Mademoiselle from Armentières

Next on #DOOL — Sophia: "The next time we're together with Tate, let's play 'good-girl / bad-girl.' I'll be the bad girl." Holly: "Then we won't be playing, will we?" #DAYS

Julie: "Heaven is not a local call." I think it is, if you have Verizon. #DAYS

Ava: "You know how fast things change in this town." As evidenced by a ten year old kid leaving town and returning the next year a full-fledged adult. #DAYS

Gabi and Stefan split up. In Salem "happily ever-after" has its limits. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Thomas: "Who are you?" NewAbby: "I'm a representative from Escorts-R-Us." #DAYS

When NewAbby invites Chad to go to France, he warms up to the idea when he realizes it's also an invitation to get into her panties…

The Mademoiselle from Armentières, voulez vouz?
The Mademoiselle from Armentières, voulez vouz?
The Mademoiselle from Armentières
Put your legs behind your ears
Inky-dinky voulez vous…

#DAYS

Rinse and Repeat

Bonnie is upset that they're killing her character off in Body and Soul. They also killed her off when she was Adrienne. If they kill off Bonnie she'll be 0 for 3. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "I wasn't drunk last night. Please tell me you believe me." Tate: "Just like you believed I was a lacrosse camp?" #DAYS

Tate to Brady: "I'll see you soon." During visiting hours at Statesville." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Sarah is a stand-up citizen." Kristen: "Not any more." #DAYS

Holly: "So that's it? It's over between us?" Yes. We have to go through DOOL's patented [unrequited love – big breakup – infatuation with someone else – mending of fences – renewed attraction – rinse and repeat] scenario once again. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "You and Brady are the same. You just get drunk, jump into a car, and run over people." Eric: "Well, everyone is entitled to have a hobby." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sophia: "I'll do anything to make you feel better… aannyytthhiinnggg…" Tate: "Even shut up and leave me alone?" #DAYS

Rolf: "Zis iz zee zientific dizcovery of zee zentury." He'll be really disappointed to find out cryptocurrency has already been invented. #DAYS

Sophia: "Holly thinks I'm trying to take you away from her." Tate: "So what is it that you are doing?" Sophia: "Trying to take you away from her." #DAYS