Jenniferitis

Theresa is appalled at the thought of going to work.  She could call in sick: It's a clear case of Jenniferitis.

 

Abby's about as enthusiastic about moving in with Ben as a turkey is about coming to Thanksgiving dinner. #DAYS

 

Jennifer: "I could take some time off." How do you take time off when you're always off?" #DAYS

 

Theresa: "Everyone at the hospital hates my guts." Yet she wants to stay at the Kiriakis mansion where everyone hates her guts. #DAYS

Underhanded Tactics

Will: "I'll never write about my family again." I wish the #DOOL writers wouldn't write about Will or his family. #DAYS

 

Theresa tells Kimberly she hasn't lost her mind.  That must mean she never had it in the first place. #DAYS

 

Brady walks in on Nicole and Eric. The NSA doesn't overhear as many conversations as people in Salem. #DAYS

 

Kate: "I have no problem with underhanded tactics." Kate, in fact has a problem with anything BUT underhanded tactics. #DAYS

An Ode To Eric And Nicole

Gratuitous Nudity

Cooked

Kate says good morning to Clyde. Sits down and sees it's Stefano instead. Oops. #DAYS

 

Victor decrees Xander should die. His last name just went from Cook to Cooked. #DAYS

 

Just what I want at lunchtime. Flashbacks of Eric and Nicole slobbering over each other while they bake to death. #DAYS

 

After Nicole says Serena was smuggling diamonds, Daniel figures out what the secret compartment was for. #QuickStudy #DAYS

Xander's Close Shave

One Roll In The Hay

Zoe: "Penny for your thoughts?" Chad: "No DiMera will ever sell anything that cheap." They'll just date women that cheap. #DAYS

 

Since she's suffering from heat stroke Daniel wraps himself around Nicole to keep the heat in. #DAYS

 

Chad: "The price of DiMera stock went down." So did Abby. #DAYS

 

Ben is determined one roll in the hay makes Abby is his again. I think Ben's Newton is missing its fig. #DAYS

They Caged Their Bodies

 

A Ball, Chain and Chastity Belt

Ben thinks Abby is perfect. If that's the case, perfection has gone to hell. #DAYS

 

Baking to death is one of the more creative demises the #DOOL writers have dreamed up. I bet they've read Hansel and Gretel. #DAYS

 

Ben tracks down Abby on his stalker app. Next he'll upgrade to a ball, chain and chastity belt. #DAYS

 

Abby says Ben is everything that Chad isn't. I guess that means Chad isn't a possessive stalker. #DAYS

Heavenly View

 

Salem Sniveling Sissy Syndrome

Anne to Theresa: "You have to shove A into B." Are they assembling a crib or reading a sex manual? #DAYS

 

Fashion statement: Whatever Abby is wearing, it looks like something that got someone kicked off of Project Runway. #DAYS

 

Theresa, ask Brady for help in crib assembly. That's what men are good for. Some would say that's the only thing they're good for. #DAYS

 

Eric kicks the grate while Nicole cowers and whimpers in back of him. All women on this show have SSSS — Salem Sniveling Sissy Syndrome #DAYS

If Ya Gotta Go...

...you might as well have "one for the road."

Theresa's Dream Come True

A Proposition

Paul wonders if Kate will tell him to avoid Will and Sonny. I sure wish I could, but I have to report on this crap. #DAYS

 

Why does Xander need a silencer with no one in the building? Maybe he just doesn't want to hurt his tender ears. #DAYS

 

Kate to Paul: "I have a proposition for you." Not the first time she ever said that to a guy. #DAYS

 

How long does it take Marlena to get Eve water? Maybe she's getting is straight from the Salem River. #DAYS

 

Kate gives Will marriage advice. Probably based on her experiences on how to ruin marriages. #DAYS

What Rory Studies

Rats!

Xander opens the storeroom door: "Ugh! Rats!" Must be the KFC Chicken Nuggets supply room. #DAYS

 

JJ thinks he did something 10 times worse than Jack ever did. However disgusting, at least JJ's sex was consensual. #DAYS

 

Uh... are they using the same script as when Kristen's Dr. tried to gas Nicole and Eric in Daniel's basement? #DAYS

 

Jennifer tells JJ "every relationship is different." Sex with your girlfriend's mom. That's different all right... except in Salem. #DAYS

The Misdemeanor

 

Nymph-Ho-Maniac

Xander attacking Nicole was a scene from the last Misty Circle movie I saw. #DAYS

 

Ben wonders where Abby was going. To hell in a hand-basket? #DAYS

 

Abby wonders why she's so obsessed with Chad. Three words: Nymph-Ho-Maniac. #DAYS

 

Abby leaves her "diary" out in the open. See... that book with the tiny lock and key you used to have was more secure. #DAYS

Priest Folderol

Justin tells Rafe he's the go-to guy. Rafe is the goat-two guy. He has the IQ of two goats. Apologies to all goats for that crack. #DAYS

 

Clyde: Cover Boy! It seemed odd to see a magazine cover without Caitlyn on it, though. #DAYS

 

Eric: "Am I supposed to turn the other cheek?" Apparently he's forgotten all that priest folderol he used to know about. #DAYS

 

Justin certainly called upon his inner d*ickhead for his meetings with Rafe and Kate. #DAYS

The Maltese Elephant Caper

Nicole agrees to call Xander when she's done. She gets together with him she won't just be done, she'll could be finished. #DAYS

 

Daniel wonders how Serena fits into things. I don't know about the Maltese Elephant caper but if he's talking about her dress—barely #DAYS

 

Nicole is shocked by Xander's light murder sentence. Was it less than Chelsea's 2 weeks community service for killing Zach? #DAYS

 

Brady's 'fireplace poker' remark would be a disgusting low blow... if it weren't true. #DAYS

 

 

Only On DAYS

Mr. Sleazeball chats up Paige. She might as well go with him — I mean, could she do worse than a guy who would sleep with her mom?" #DAYS

 

Jennifer was afraid she would inherit mental illness. If she didn't inherit it, where did it come form? #DAYS

 

JJ asks Theresa what it's like having a baby with a guy who hates her. Technically, she didn't have the baby... but it's hers. Only on #DAYS

 

Abby to Chad: "'Doing it' was a mistake." It's always a mistake after the fact, never before. #DAYS

It Takes Two To Tango

Abby and JJ. Jennifer sure raised a couple of kids who make great choices, didn't she? #DAYS

 

Eve: "Jennifer and her skank son have ruined my life." It takes two to tango, Eve. #DAYS

 

Abby: "God knows we all have screwed up." Interesting that people always discover things like that after the fact. #DAYS

 

Eve blames Jennifer. Jennifer blames Eve. Anyone ever think of blaming JJ and Eve? #DAYS

 

I wonder... On the phone with Ben did Abby mean, "I love you, too," or "I love you two" ?? #DAYS

What Paige Needs

The Sadder But Wiser Gal

Lucas: "I missed you." Adrienne: "I missed you, too." Translation: Lucas: "I'm horny." Adrienne: "I'm horny, too." #DAYS

 

Kate blurts out that Adrienne and Lucas are sleeping together.  Well, something had to spice up the party. #DAYS

 

Kate: "Adrienne & Lucas are like hormonal teenagers." The only difference is their hormones are prescribed by a doctor. #DAYS

 

Abigail: Oh, the shame! Oh, the remorse! She is definitely the "sadder but wiser" gal. Minus the "wiser" part. #DAYS

Gay, Yes — Happy, No

Abby's Dilemma

Hope's office: Grand Central (Police) Station. #DAYS

 

Marlena: "I've heard of Dr. Myers. Can't recommend him." So you reject people based on hearsay?" #DAYS

 

Clyde: "There are women who would fall all over themselves for Chad." One of them did, last night. #DAYS

 

Marlena thinks Will wants a silver bullet. To use on himself, I hope. #DAYS

 

Abby's dilemma: should she name the baby Chad Jr. or honor EJ by naming it Elvis? #DAYS

Promiscuous Little Twerp

A Woman Of Many Talents

Abby: ♫ "Double your pleasure, double your fun ♪ Get yourself two guys instead of just one." ♫ #DAYS

 

Victor kicks Xander out of family business.  You're slipping, Victor—When Michael Corleone did that, he had his henchmen whack the guy #DAYS

 

Abigail is a woman of many talents... one of which is to melt in the arms of DiMera guys. #DAYS

 

Fashion statement: Nicole's diamond ring has a topaz tumor. #DAYS

Abby's Plan

 

No Show Today

Sorry, gang... no #DOOL today. #DAYS 

 

Abigail's Will Of Iron

 

A Good Sport

Kayla worries that Abby hasn't taken a break from work. She's a Devereaux. She takes a break from goofing off to go to work. #DAYS

 

Abby thinks she's being too judgmental about JJ. I'll bet Paige doesn't think she's being judgmental enough. #DAYS

 

Nicole is insulted Xander wanted her to be a "good sport." Nicole has been a "good sport" so many times she could compete with ESPN. #DAYS

 

Kayla wonders why Adrienne would cheat with Lucas. Kate tells her because Justin was cheating. In Salem, two wrongs make a right. #DAYS

Size Matters

Photobomb

Rrrroooowwwwllllfff!

Clyde: "What do lawyers know about cosmetics?" They're always involved in cover-ups. #Rimshot #DAYS

 

I AM SO SICK OF WILL AND SONNY I COULD PUK... Rrrroooowwwwllllfff! #DAYS

 

Be careful Daniel, I think Parker is playing with a marked deck. #DAYS

 

You may  not have noticed Xander is a really sloppy writer while you were staring at his pecs. #DAYS

Is Experience Overrated?

 

Bipolar

Paige: "I never want to talk to you again." 2 Seconds later: "Let's talk." 2 Seconds later: "I don't want to talk." #Bipolar #DAYS

 

Melanie: "Yes!" Brady: "No!" Melanie: "Yes!" Brady: "No!" Melanie: "Yes!" Brady: "No!" Deepest conversation they've ever had. #DAYS

 

After missing therapy with Sonny, Will promises to make it to the next counseling session, "No problem." Translation: Problem. #DAYS

 

Think it through, Melanie: If you ever come back, Theresa will leave anyway. So throw yourself off a building instead. #DAYS

Saint Adrienne and Saint Lucas