A Danosecond

Nanosecond – One billionth of a second. Danosecond - The amount of time Dan & Nicole were together this time. #DAYS

 

Mandrake wants to know if Theresa's mind is still a blank. No worries there. #DAYS

 

Eve: "I've figured how to make our problem go away." She can reverse time? #DAYS

 

Nicole says she cares about all her ex-lovers. She must be the most caring woman in Salem... except for Kate. #DAYS

Poof!

Brady: "So our date is just dinner and goodbye?" Translation: Negative nookie night. #DAYS

 

Theresa: "It's gone... poof! That's what happens with all my dreams." And your boyfriends. #DAYS

 

So Edward was writing while he was off his meds.  He must've been a #DOOL writer. #DAYS

 

Victor walks in on Melanie & Brady: "For the love of God." Neither love nor God has anything to do with it. #DAYS

Nicole's Butt

Boring Is The New Exciting

Frankly, this Paul, Will, Sonny coincidence is too lame even for #DAYS.

 

Stefano asks if he's boring Chad. On #DOOL boring is the new exciting. #DAYS

 

Nicole wants to expose the truth. How can you expose it without knowing what it is in the first place? #DAYS

The World Champion

Apparently Nicole thinks shaking a thumb drive makes it copy data from a computer faster.  #DAYS

 

Nicole to Serena: "I am so glad we did this." Same line she used on Daniel in bed yesterday. #DAYS

 

Kate tells Will everyone makes mistakes.  He should listen to her.  She's the world champion. #DAYS

 

If it keeps it up, Salem could get up to a foot of vinyl snow. #DAYS

Hard On Her

Dumbest Guy In Town

Chase wonders why Hope and Ciara can't go to the beach house with them.  Because that's where the bodies are buried. #DAYS

 

Eric: "Serena and I have history." Translation: Monkey sex is better on the African plains where you can learn from the monkeys. #DAYS

 

Nicole to Serena: "You don't like me; I don't like you." It sounds kind of like the Barney song but somehow different. #DAYS

 

OMG! Hope mentioned Shawn Douglas. If he comes back that aces out Rafe as the dumbest guy in town. #DAYS

 

If Clyde isn't dead, Damon is the worst shot this side of the Pecos. #DAYS

Dough-See-Dough

Shucks. If only Jennifer would have caught Eve and JJ In Flagrante Delicto. It would have been so In Prevuze Delicio. #DAYS

 

Victor says Clyde wants to do-si-do into Salem and take over. Clyde's game is more dough-see-dough. #DAYS

 

Ciara and Chase are going to San Francisco on their class trip?! My class went to the local pork rendering plant. #DAYS

 

Clyde says Paris isn't heaven on earth because it doesn't have Kate. Neither does heaven... and never will. #DAYS

Theresa "Your-Place-Or-Mine" Donovan

Ben, there is something guys who have a pair say to guys like Chad in your situation: "Take this job and shove it." #DAYS

 

Eve says Theresa is acting crazy. With Theresa "your-place-or-mine" Donovan, it's not an act. #DAYS

 

When Ben jumped the counter and broke that glass, I don't think that was in the script but it looked good. #DAYS

 

Eve and JJ have chemistry.  Then again, so does an atomic bomb when it reaches critical mass. #DAYS

Separated at Birth - Theresa Donovan And...

Theresa jumped into bed with Clint before she even knew his name.  The woman's easier than a one-square crossword puzzle.

Looks That Could Kill... Brains That Are Already Dead

Man, there are blow-up sex dolls that are harder to get into bed than Theresa. $DAYS

 

JJ and Paige: Looks that could kill... brains that are already dead. #DAYS

 

I vote for Melanie and Brady not to date. We don't want their spawn in the gene pool. #DAYS

 

Theresa is so choosy about her men she almost learns their first names before sleeping with them. #DAYS

Bastard Spawn

Damon wonders why a hillbilly is in Victor's business. Even without Clyde it's not exactly a high-class profession. #DAYS

 

Protip: If your boss talks about you the way Chad is talking about Ben, it's time to dust off your resume. #DAYS

 

Rafe orders Clyde to leave. Clyde 1, Rafe 0. #DAYS

 

Victor growls: "Stefano sent his bastard spawn to check us out." Drat the bad luck, Victor, your bastard spawn is out of town. #DAYS

His Life Is Just One Big Country Song

Chad says Ben won't lose his job as long as Chad's dating Jordan. Translation: As long as she's putting out. #DAYS

 

Paul: "It would destroy my grandfather to find out I'm a dōseiai." Is it politically correct to say that? #DAYS

 

Clyde to Jordan: "I done you wrong, girl." His life is just one big country song. #DAYS

 

Daniel, Rafe and Eric break up the best catfight so far this year.  Who invited them to the party? #DAYS

 

Clyde says he's not good at controlling his temper.  That's not exactly material for breaking news.  #DAYS

Miniskirt Melee

Nicole and Serena's smackdown of quivering flesh and flying fists:

A Different Kind Of Pitch

The Guinness Book of World Records officially names Theresa the World's Youngest Cougar as she goes on the prowl again. #DAYS

 

Maggie wonders if Melanie and Brady are "Friends with benefits." No, just friends with a nosy busybody around the house. #DAYS

 

Lucas doesn't understand what the great pitcher Paul Narita is doing in Salem. He's making a different kind of pitch. #DAYS

 

Anne's exit from the club makes me wonder if she needs to be tested for epilepsy. #DAYS

I Love The Smell Of Testosterone In The Morning

Daniel reserves veto power for fathers with impetuous daughters. Shall we break it to him that Melanie's honor is beyond saving? #DAYS

 

Eve tells Paige, "JJ showed you his true colors." He showed Eve a lot more. #DAYS

 

Daniel and Brady in the same room. I love the smell of testosterone in the morning. #DAYS

 

Jordan heads back to the hospital.  I'm sure all the booze she drank at Clyde's will help her do her job there. #DAYS

 

Brady and Melanie sittin' in a tree B-O-R-I-N-G-ME #DAYS

For Relationship Harmony...

Aiden, for relationship harmony, "Please let me handle it" works better than "None of your damn business." #DAYS

 

Jennifer doesn't want Eve to barge in then doesn't want her to stomp out. #DAYS

 

The only people in Salem who can get along are the ones over in the cemetery. #DAYS

 

Marlena hopes things work out for Rafe. You could list on a pin head the times things have worked out for him. #DAYS

He Bagged Her

Aiden calls Bree and says he's upset she said he threatened her... and threatens her. #DAYS

JJ mocks Eve and says he told Jennifer he "bagged" her. I love all the substitute words for the ones we can't say. #DAYS

JJ promises no one will ever find out about him and Eve. What an idiot. February sweeps are right around the corner. #DAYS

In her romantic flashbacks why didn't Paige remember the time she went into JJ's bedroom for monkey sex? #DAYS

Eve: "JJ will always do the wrong thing." Or the wrong woman. #DAYS

Sloppy Seconds And Blowing Smoke

Victor should offer Rafe a job he's suited for — like being a potted plant in the Kiriakis mansion foyer. #DAYS

 

While Will was rounding third base and scoring big with Paul, Sonny never made it past the on-deck circle. #DAYS

 

Question: Is there any member of the Salem Hospital board who is not a crime boss or former hooker? #DAYS

 

Anne uses both "sloppy seconds" and "blowing smoke" in one metaphorific sentence. #DAYS

Existential

Brady and Melanie have a lot in common... starting with the same grandmother. #DAYS

Will proves gays should be able to get married. They should have the same right to cheat as straight people do. #DAYS

I was less nervous about getting a date for my Junior High sock hop than "experienced" Brady & Melanie are about hooking up. #DAYS

Melanie says she doesn't want to continue the existential conversation with Brady. So, "existential" means "tedious?" #DAYS

A Walk Of Shame

Theresa and Melanie stop fighting long enough to show Brady their fangs.  At least they agree on something. #DAYS

 

Brady and Melanie: some collect Hello Kitty; some collect Hummel Figurines; Brady collects wackadoodle. #DAYS

 

Abby opens Ben's door to find Clyde.  Her mundane trip to work suddenly becomes a walk of shame. #DAYS

 

Speaking of which: Q)What do they call a walk of shame for a guy? A)A walk of triumph. #DAYS

Annoying

Melanie thinks Anne is annoying. Takes one to call one. #DAYS

 

Statesville finds out Rafe isn't coming and cancels plans to build a "Hernandez Wing." #DAYS

 

Brady neglects to tell Melanie the present is from Maggie. The drugs he was on friend too many brain cells. #DAYS

Forgive Me And Jump My Bones

Ben's not struggling too much as a barista. I know flowers. That's a $125 bouquet... if he got it at a florist and not Walmart. #DAYS

 

Theorem: If you bump into someone in Salem it will be someone you hate. Serena bumps into Nicole. Quod Erat Demonstrandum. #DAYS

 

Victor: "Brady and Melanie are acting like two squirrels in a bag." The squirrels however, would be smart enough to get out of the bag #DAYS

 

After Will said "I'm going to disappear" can someone tell me what Paul said? I couldn't hear over the audience cheering. #DAYS

 

Nicole to Daniel: "Blah blada blah blah blada blada blah blah blah blada. Blah blada..." Translation: "Forgive me and jump my bones." #DAYS

Roaring Back Like A Freight Train

Melanie says Nicole asked her not to say anything.  A waste of breath. Melanie inherited Maggie's gossip gene. #DAYS

 

So, it's New Year's Eve in Salem? What time zone are they in? #DAYS

 

Daniel kicks Nicole to the curb — a place she's been so many times she should set up residence. #DAYS

 

Serena knows how hard it is to lose Eric. Hard enough to pull out all the stops and come roaring back at him like a freight train. #DAYS

Prevuze — A Decade Of Snark

Today is Prevuze' 10th anniversary.  Here is the very first post from 10 years ago today, January 1, 2005. http://bit.ly/1wrr3AS #DAYS

Thanks to all Prevuze readers for your support and encouragement.